


Fighting the Good Fight

by Humansunshine



Series: FTGF Verse [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Izzy and Alec are parabatai, Jace doesn't exist, Lightwood Siblings Feels, M/M, Panic Attacks, Transgender Author, Trigger warnings in chapter notes, in depth trigger warnings, mlm author, retelling of the TV show, top surgery, transgender alec lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-02-08 18:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 104,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12870384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humansunshine/pseuds/Humansunshine
Summary: Alec Lightwood just wants to run his Institute in peace.This is the story that could've unfolded if Jace didn't exist.





	1. Episode 1: The Mundane Who Sees

**Author's Note:**

> I might update the summary because it's TRASH lmao
> 
> #recastjace #firedom
> 
> Oh also, Alec is transgender in this fic, but he's already out, so if you're looking for angsty coming out fic, you're looking in the wrong place!

Alec hated shapeshifter demons more than anything.

He had battled worse evils, grosser creatures, more irritating foes, but nothing made him quite so anxious and angry as having to hunt down a shapeshifter demon. 

This one had been easy to track; so far it hadn’t clocked him, and hadn’t bothered to change its shape. Alec placed himself at a fruit stand, tucking his hand into his pocket as the demon approached and making a point to look at the dodgy-looking pineapples in the box in front of him. He felt cold, letting the demon pass behind his back, but the second he spotted it again out of his peripheral vision he was after it once more. 

Alec snarled under his breath as he noticed the demon walk into a woman, changing shape effortlessly into a perfect likeness of her, clothes and all. He gritted his jaw against the wave of rageful jealousy that welled up in his stomach.

If only it were that easy. 

“Careful, big brother,” Izzy soothed, appearing next to him, “you’ll give yourself stress lines.” 

By now Alec must have been conditioned to relax in Izzy’s presence, because he felt his shoulders ease the moment she fell into step besides him. “Stress lines are the least of my worries. The demon just went into the warlock’s club, big surprise. You go round the back, I’ll go in the front. Hang back.” He ordered, adjusting his bow on his shoulder. 

He kept an eye on Izzy as she strutted off around the back of the club, and didn’t notice the mundane until he literally almost mowed her down. 

“Hey!” She yelped, and Alec’s head shot up, lip curling as she looked right at him and said, “could you watch where you’re going?”

Alec narrowed his eyes at her. “Weird,” he muttered, before turning on his heel and jogging into the club. His rune was definitely active; none of the other mundanes noticed when he brushed up against them.

Huh.

The redhead mundane was soon forgotten as he walked into the nightclub. He wasn’t a fan of crowds; he didn’t like people pressing against his chest, their confused looks when they felt the give of his binder. His throat closed up at the thought, and he ducked his head, using his heat vision rune to find the demon in the confusion of the room. 

As he got closer, he noticed the circle runes on the necks of the two men meeting with the demon. Alec swallowed hard, wishing that it wasn’t so loud so that he could hear what was being said. After a few moments, the demon walked on towards the back of the club, and Alec swerved round the warlock that owned the place on his way to intercept the shapeshifter.

When he reached the back room, Izzy was already dancing on a platform, swaying her hips to tempt in the demons. Alec smirked; demons were predictable, and they flocked to her like moths to a flame. The only one that hung back was the one who’d transformed into a girl outside, and Alec wandered over to her, pursing his lips and trying to act casual.

“So… Heard you were dealing in mundane blood…” He had to sort of yell over the music, so it wasn’t as smooth as he’d hoped. Still, she seemed to take the bait.

“Why? Looking to score?” She purred, looking him up and down, her hand coming up to touch his shoulder, and Alec choked on his own saliva.

“What? No!”

“What do you want, shadowhunter?” The demon asked, her eyes settling on Alec’s quiver.

Alec straightened up a little. “I want you to tell me who’s buying from you.”

“You’re outnumbered here,” she pointed out, glancing to the side. As he followed her gaze, Alec realised that the demons who had been watching Izzy had now turned to look at him. 

He smiled. This? This, he could deal with. “I like our odds.” He heard the unmistakeable sound of Izzy’s whip uncoiling, and quickly notched an arrow.

“Watch out!” He heard someone scream, and then he was being knocked to the ground by that damned mundane from before. Alec shoved her away, leaping to his feet in time to land an arrow into the demon closest to him. 

“Get out of the way, you fucking idiot!” Alec hissed as the mundane staggered to her feet, pushing her behind him as he started firing arrows off at the demons. There were too many of them, and without a vantage point it was proving difficult to keep them off himself. He grabbed for his seraph blade and spun into action, cutting demons down left, right and centre.

The mundane wouldn’t stop fucking screaming.

“Here!” Izzy tossed the mundane a seraph blade like she’d somehow be able to wield it, and honestly, for a moment Alec was distracted because as the mundane’s hand touched the handle of the blade, it shone brightly.

What the fuck?

“Alec!” Izzy screamed, and he turned just in time to get smacked across the head by a demon. He grabbed for his blade desperately, wincing at the sound of the demon’s gross quadruple jaws snapping above him. When he turned back over, armed with his blade, the demon was disintegrating, and the redheaded mundane was standing over him, looking traumatised.

Alec hurried to get to his feet, running his hand through his hair. “We need to get out of here before more come along.” The demons had been dealt with for now, but it was only a matter of time before their friends came back from the bar. “Anyway, you should probably come with us, you…” 

The mundane was gone.

“Alec, we need to find her, she’s a liability. If she tells anyone what she saw…”

“They’ll just think she’s drunk,” Alec shrugged, collecting his arrows where they lay scattered on the floor. 

Izzy glared at him.

“You…” Alec pinched the bridge of his nose. “You think she’s cute, don’t you?”

“I’m just saying I should follow her home,” Izzy sighed, tugging Alec from the club by the crook of his arm. “It’s not like I’m needed at the institute right now. I can talk some sense into her… She is one of us.” 

Alec pursed his lips, considering it. “You have four hours. Either bring her back to the institute or let her figure it out on her own, got it? You’re not leaving me with all the paperwork again.” 

“You got it, big brother,” Izzy beamed, going on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Love you!”

“Love you,” he grumbled, wiping the lipstick from his cheek. He shifted his neck from side to side, hissing a little at the way it made his binder tug painfully at his ribs. It had been eight hours since he’d put it on, and now that he wasn’t on red alert he could feel the strain on his lungs.

He really needed to get home. 

 

It seemed like every time he took a step towards his room, someone came up to him with a problem. Alec was panting by the time he shut his bedroom door behind him, hastily yanking his shirt off over his head and slithering out of his binder. He gasped for breath as his chest fell free, wincing as he massaged his sore ribs. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he grabbed for the nearest t-shirt and pulled it over his head, sliding into the chair at his desk. 

“Alec? Have you got the report yet?” Raj stuck his head around the door, and Alec rolled his eyes slightly. 

“I literally just sat down. Give me half an hour, alright? I’ll bring it to your room.” He murmured, not turning to look at the disdainful look that Raj was no doubt shooting him. The click of the door told Alec that he was gone, and his shoulders sagged, grabbing a report form from his desk drawer and clicking his pen a few times as he thought back over the night’s events. 

 

On his way back from Raj’s room, he spotted Izzy carrying the redhead mundane from before over her shoulder, looking ruffled. He sighed, and headed over to them, meeting her eyes.

“Got Princess Peach then, did you?” Alec asked, leaning around to see that the mundane was knocked out cold. “What happened?”

“I had to save her from a demon,” Izzy shrugged, mischief shining in her eyes. “She swooned and fell right into my arms. Works every time.”

“Pretty sure that was the venom, but whatever you need to tell yourself.” Alec snorted, holding out his arms. 

Izzy smiled at him in thanks, handing over the mundane’s floppy body. Alec carried her bridal style to the infirmary, Izzy stretching out her arms as she walked next to him. They got some odd looks, but Alec was used to those, and instead used the time to scrutinise the mundane’s face, looking for familiar features. Surely she must have some relation to someone… 

Perhaps he should send a fire message to mother.

He wrinkled his nose, dismissing that thought as soon as it occurred to him. No, he’d deal with this mundane himself.

She came round almost as soon as Alec set her down on the bed, and he huffed. Obviously. She sat straight up in bed, headbutting Izzy right in the face as she sank down onto the bed. Alec snorted.

“Ow,” Izzy said, looking down at the mundane with cautious curiosity.

“Wait… I don’t know you.” 

“I’m Isabelle,” Izzy explained, “Lightwood. I’ve never met a mundane who can see through our runes before.” 

Alec sighed, unable to stop himself. Izzy had an unfortunate habit of falling for straight girls, and he could just smell the heterosexual on the mundane. As the mundane spluttered and demanded explanations, Alec patted Izzy on the shoulder.

“I’m going to go and lie down, alright?” He said softly, and she nodded, not taking her eyes off the mundane girl. Alec blinked at her a few times, shaking his head a little as he walked away. 

This could only end badly.

 

“All I’m saying is that there’s no such thing as new Shadowhunters. She must be lying.” Alec insisted, allowing Izzy to latch onto his arm a few hours later, once Clary, the mundane, had gone back to sleep. 

“We can’t just assume that she’s lying, big brother. That would be rude.”

“Who said I wasn’t rude?” Alec retorted. “I’d rather risk my manners than the safety of this institute. If she can’t tell us who she is, she needs to leave.” He stopped short in the corridor. “Don’t you find it weird that she showed up and just ruined our biggest mission yet? Isn’t that a weird coincidence?”

Izzy sighed. “You’re so paranoid.”

“I have reason to be,” Alec grumbled, putting his hands on his hips. “That girl is going to be nothing but trouble, I can feel it.”

“Relax, big brother. I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise.” 

Alec looked away at the window, and back at his sister. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

The smile Izzy gave him made him feel like she wasn’t listening to him, and he rolled his eyes a little. “Oh, come on, she’s cute.”

“That’s why she worries me. You don’t know how to say no to a pretty face.” 

Izzy laughed, wrapping her arms around his waist. He begrudgingly hugged her back. “Thank you for looking out for me, big brother, but I can handle myself.”

Alec watched as she more or less skipped away to see to Clary, feeling her excitement through their rune. His eyes slipped closed. 

Christ. 

He mentally reminded himself to order extra ice cream for when this inevitably blew up in his little sister’s face. 

“Oh.” Alec turned to leave, only to find a mundane standing right behind him. He looked around wildly, eyes going wide. “How the hell did you get in here?!” 

“You were talking about Clary. Are you going to kill her?!” 

The mundane was cute enough, Alec supposed. Round glasses and a light jacket. He looked like a strong breeze could blow him over. Alec folded his arms.

“I don’t kill mundanes,” he pointed out. “But you need to get out of here. This isn’t a place for a mundane.”

“Simon!” Clary appeared behind him, and Simon rushed past him, wrapping her up in a hug. “Thank God you’re here, this place is crazy.”

“I tried to explain to her what a shadowhunter was. Apparently she called for back-up when I left her alone earlier,” Izzy muttered, going to Alec’s side. 

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut as the two mundanes yelped at each other.

“We need to go and find Luke.”

“We can’t trust Luke!”

“You’re one of us, Clary,” Izzy soothed, taking her elbow. “I know you can feel it. Your skin took the runes; you’re a shadowhunter.”

“You runed her?!” Alec shouted, eyes bugging out of his head. “She could have turned into a forsaken! Have you lost your goddamn mind?!”

Izzy looked a little sheepish, but she shrugged him off. “She didn’t.”

“Clary, you don’t know these people,” Simon pointed out, “they’re dangerous.”

Clary looked between the two of them, then at Alec, stricken.

“If you took the runes, we need to find out who you are,” Alec insisted, though the words almost physically pained him. This was going to be such a headache to report to the Clave. 

Clary swallowed hard. “I want to find out who I am.”

“Peachy,” Alec tutted, “but your little mundie friend needs to go.”

“No way, I’m staying with her!” Simon insisted, grabbing Clary’s arm.

Alec and Izzy exchanged a hopeless look.

“Fuck it, I’m going to bed. Wake me if the mundane gets killed by the wards.” He waved over his shoulder to Izzy, smirking as he heard Simon start to splutter.


	2. Episode 2: The Descent into Hell is Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your daily reminder to #firedom considering he's literally irrelevent to the show anyway!!

The next morning, Alec was honestly surprised to discover that Simon The Mundane was still hanging around the institute. He stuck to Clary like a limpet, and Alec was surprised to see that Izzy, rather than regarding the guy as competition, seemed oddly enamoured by him. Alec ate his breakfast quickly, not wanting to get caught up in the drama of Clary looking for her missing Mom. Izzy and Simon were both cooing and patting at her hand, each of them trying to comfort her and gain her attention. Alec pursed his lips as he cleared his plate off in the bin. 

“I can’t believe of all the people who’d betray me, Luke… I thought he was family. I thought he cared about us!” Clary sucked her lower lip into her mouth, shaking her head as she looked down into her breakfast. 

“It’s fucked up, Fray,” Simon nodded gravely, putting his arm around her shoulder. “But we’ll get through this. We’ll get Jocelyn back from this dickhead Valentine, and then we’ll…”

“Jocelyn? Valentine?” A voice from behind Alec asked, making him turn to see Hodge, the weapons master, standing in the doorway looking like he’d seen a ghost. The Circle rune on his neck glowed red, and Alec stepped over to him, resisting the urge to take his arm but not before he’d lifted his hand like an idiot. Hodge hissed in pain, looked at Alec out of the corner of his eye for a moment, but he quickly turned his attention back to Clary. 

“You know who he is?” Izzy asked.

Hodge nodded, his eyes taking in Clary’s face with disbelief. “He was the head of the circle, he… He’s dead. He’s supposed to be dead.” The blond winced as his circle rune burned, and this time Alec put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He tried not to take it personally when Hodge shrugged it off.

“He didn’t look dead when I saw a vision of him holding my mother captive!” Clary pointed out, green eyes wide. 

“Her mother Jocelyn was taken by him,” Alec murmured, folding his arms tightly. 

“Her mother…” Hodge looked between Alec and Clary, scratching the back of his neck. “If Valentine is back and he’s got Jocelyn, it means he’s looking for the Mortal Cup. She took it at the end of…”

“The Mortal Cup has been missing for…”

“What the hell is the Mortal Cup?!” Simon shrieked. “And what the hell does Clary have to do with any of this?!”

“So you’re saying,” Alec said, ignoring the mundane completely, “that Clary, this new shadowhunter, is connected to the circle? The people who’ve been buying mundane blood?” 

Hodge nodded, grabbing for Alec’s shoulder and leaning on him heavily as his rune sizzled on his neck. “I can’t tell you much with my punishment rune… But if Jocelyn hid the cup from Valentine, she’s in more trouble than you can even imagine.” He was panting in pain, and Alec’s face screwed up with sympathy.

“You could die if we continue like this,” Alec murmured, and helped Hodge sit down. “Look, if you mother has had the cup all this time, she must have told you something!”

Clary shook her head. “I’ve been trying to remember, but all… All I can see is this big, empty blackness!”

Izzy squeezed her shoulder gently. “You know what that means, Alec.”

“Memory magic,” Alec sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. That meant that a warlock was somehow involved, too.

“Is that possible?!” Clary demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

“If you know a warlock.” Izzy shrugged.

“A warlock?” Simon snorted, raking his hands through his hair.

“Half demon, half human. They can control magic, they always have a mark, something not quite human.” Alec explained, stepping towards Clary. “Think. Have you ever met anybody whose fingers sparked? Who could do things you couldn’t explain?”

Realisation dawned on Clary’s face, and Alec breathed a sigh of relief. “Dot. Dot made this hole in the wall that took me to the police station.” 

“Wasn’t that who the demon in your apartment looked like?” Izzy asked.

“There was a demon in your apartment?!” Simon shrieked.

Alec huffed. “We need to find this… Dot. The real Dot. No doubt she’ll have gone into hiding with the other warlocks; latest intelligence suggests Magnus Bane is rounding them up.”

“I’m on it,” Izzy promised, taking Clary by the wrist. “Come on, sweetie, you look like you’re good with computers.”

Simon looked at Clary with wide eyes. 

“It’s alright, Simon. I’ll be fine with Izzy. And Alec will look after you,” she assured him, though Alec barely repressed a scoff. “Show Alec all our hang-out spots, yeah? Dot could show up at any of them looking for us.” 

“Alright, okay,” Simon nodded, though he didn’t look best pleased when Izzy tugged Clary away, swinging their hands between them without a care in the world. 

Alec turned to the map of New York City, leaning against the table, and waited for Simon to start talking. When a few seconds passed in silence, he glanced over at the mundane to see him still anxiously watching the hallway that Clary and Izzy had disappeared down. “Hey, mundane,” Alec snapped his fingers in front of Simon’s face, “fill me in.” 

“Oh. Right. Does Clary look good with computers? Because I feel like if anyone here looks like they’d be good with computers, it’s me.” 

“Don’t take it personally, Izzy just wants to make your friend feel welcome.” Alec sighed, “look, my sister isn’t about to kill your girlfriend, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“Girlfriend?!” Simon spluttered, shaking his head. “No, no, we’re just friends. Best friends. Since kindergarden.”

“That’s a beautiful story,” Alec’s smile dripped sarcasm, “now can you give me the information I need to save the world?”

“Right. Hang-outs. Got it.” Simon nodded, scratching behind his ear as he looked at the map.

 

“Hey, uh, Izzy? Could we…? Could I change, first? I feel naked walking around like this,” Clary admitted as the rounded the corner, blushing under the stare of a random shadowhunter as he passed them. Izzy shot him a dirty look, and he hastily redirected his gaze to his feet.

“Of course, whatever makes you comfortable,” she said easily, tugging Clary to her room. “I sent someone out to get some jeans and t-shirts for you this morning.” 

“Thanks, Izzy.” Clary smiled, following the shadowhunter into her room. She was relieved to see a bag from Forever 21 on Izzy’s bed, and rifled through it eagerly. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom, let me know once you’re decent.”

“You don’t have to do that…” Clary insisted.

Izzy laughed, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder. “Sweetie, you know I’m into you, right?”

“Uhh… Oh.” Clary flushed pink, a little shiver running down her spine. She didn’t think anyone had ever been so blunt, before. “Oh.”

“Are you into girls?” Izzy asked, tilting her head to the side. “My brother says I tend to fall for straight girls, and I really want to prove him wrong.” 

Clary cleared her throat a little. “I’ve… Dabbled.”

The grin on Izzy’s face was downright adorable. “Cool. Well, then, I’ll be in the bathroom.” She said pointedly, “let me know when you’re decent.”

“Right,” Clary shrugged, turning away to take off her dress as she heard the bathroom door click into place. “So, your brother…” 

“Yeah?” Izzy asked, pausing where she’d been reaching for the tube of toothpaste. 

“He’s…”

“Alec is the sweetest man I know.” Izzy told her through the door, a warning tone creeping into her voice.

“Sweet! Sure, I mean… He doesn’t seem to like me much, but uh… Is he…? It looked like he was wearing a binder.”

“If you’re asking if he’s transgender, the answer is yes.” Izzy rolled her eyes a little, squeezing some toothpaste onto her toothbrush. 

There was a pause. “It’s really nice that he has you to support him. My friend Maureen had a lot of trouble with her family.” 

Izzy sighed in relief, sticking her toothbrush in her mouth. “He’s always been my big brother. Our parents could be better, but… I love him for who he is.”

“I’m decent!” Clary told her, and Izzy wandered back out into her room, absently brushing her teeth. “He seems… Focussed.”

“He has to work a lot harder for acceptance from the other shadowhunters, and he’s ambitious. Wants to run this place one day, officially. Right now he’s running it by proxy since our parents are away.” Izzy explained, voice a little garbled from the toothpaste. She held up one finger, and went to spit it out.

“I just don’t feel like I’m gonna fit in here. Alec really seems to know what he’s doing, and I’m…”

“Is this the part where I tell you that you were born to be a shadowhunter? That this is as much a part of you as it is of me and Alec?” Izzy half teased, putting her hand on Clary’s shoulder. “You’ll learn, just like we did. I promise.” 

 

“Alec, we’ve located Magnus’ portal. He’s evacuating warlocks from Pandemonium, his nightclub in Brooklyn.” 

Alec nodded to one of the computer lackeys as she ran up to him, clapping a hand onto Simon’s shoulder and effectively cutting off his story about the time that he, Dot and Clary got kicked out of a shisha bar. “We’ve got our lead,” he told the mundane, “but thank you for your insight into ordinary life, it really was fascinating.”

“You know,” Simon started, following the taller man as he walked over to the weapons cabinet, “I see through your sass. I’ve seen it all before.”

“Yeah?” Alec asked, pursing his lips as he looked over the bows. 

“You don’t have to be an asshole just to assert that you’re a dude.” Simon told him, tucking his hands into his pockets. Alec froze. “You’d be just as manly without the attitude.”

“Listen here,” Alec hissed, an inexplicable rage building up in him, “you keep your mouth shut, alright? Don’t patronise me, you jumped up little…”

“Alec!” Izzy scolded him, and he snapped his jaw shut. Simon looked downright terrified, mouth hanging open. 

“Dude, I was just saying that I’m not gonna be an asshole about it!” Simon said quietly, “you don’t have to do your bravado with us. We’re your friends.”

“We are…” Alec swallowed hard, looking between Simon and Clary. “We are not friends.” 

“Go and check it’s clear outside,” Izzy told him sternly, “I think you could use the air.” 

“My van is a couple of blocks away,” Simon volunteered as Alec walked away. 

He’d really thought he was starting to pass.

 

As they all jumped out of Simon’s rickety old van, Clary gasped loudly, staggering back against the red and yellow vehicle, clutching at the necklace around her neck. Izzy and Simon both rushed forward to help her, and Alec hung back, still licking his wounds from the blow Simon had dealt to his ego. 

“Dot,” she murmured, pushing through Izzy and Simon and breaking into a run. Alec tutted, and took off after her. They skidded around the corner into Pandemonium, Clary stopping dead when she realised that the club was empty. “They’ve taken her. She was just trying to help me!”

Alec looked around, the hairs on the back of his neck on end. Those Circle members could be anywhere. “We should go back to the Institute. If they get their hands on you…”

“We can’t just give up, Alec!” Clary insisted, eyes alight with unshed tears. “They have my Mom and Dot, she’s like my big sister!”

“What else do you expect us to do?! We have no leads!”

“What about her memories?” Izzy suggested, stepping between the two of them. “We could go to the Silent Brothers.”

Alec scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. “Right.”

“Who are the Silent Brothers?” Simon demanded, “they sound creepy.”

“They’re powerful shadowhunters who possess the ability to recover memories.” Izzy explained, putting her hands on her hips. “Do you have any better ideas?”

“It could kill her!” 

“She’s strong,” Izzy jutted her chin up in the air. Alec just shook his head.

“I’ll do anything it takes to get my Mom and Dot back,” Clary insisted, folding her arms. “I’ll be fine.”

Simon went to stand next to Alec. “I’m with Tall, Dark and Handsome. If it could kill you then it’s a bad idea.” 

“Do we have any other options? Does anyone else have any other ideas?” Clary demanded, her green eyes determined. Alec sighed. “Right, well… Let’s go to the Silent Brothers.” 

“Fine, whatever. It’s not like we’ve already broken 18 Clave rules, let’s just go on a little trip to the City of Bones, too! It’s not like I’ve got an Institute to run!” 

“If we get Jocelyn back and stop Valentine from getting the Mortal Cup, the Clave will understand, Alec.” Izzy scowled. “Besides, this isn’t about the Clave, it’s about doing the right thing!” 

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright. Alright. Fine.” 

“That settles it.” Clary nodded, strutting back towards the van. Alec rolled his eyes slightly and followed, Izzy and Simon taking up the rear.

The City of Bones was uninviting by design. Clary looked visibly afraid as they approached, but Izzy and Simon waked close to her, one on either side. Alec hung back, checking that there were no circle members following them.

“I can do this,” Clary whispered to herself, squaring her shoulders, and Alec wondered where in her mundane life she’d gotten the stubborn determination that she possessed now.

“Of course you can,” Simon enthused, “you’re Clary freakin’ Fray, you can do anything!”

Both Izzy and Clary beamed at the mundane, and Alec just wished he had their optimism.

As they reached the entrance, Alec turned to Izzy and Clary. “One of us will have to wait out here with the mundane, there’s no way that he’ll survive out here alone.”

“No way, I’m going in with her!” Simon insisted, “I’ll be fine!”

“You need angel blood to get into the City of Bones, sweetie,” Izzy told him, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I promise you I’ll look after Clary.”

The two of them held eye contact for a long moment, and Simon, hesitantly, nodded.

“I’ll go with Clary, you stay out here with Simon.” Izzy confirmed. Alec gave her a look which begged her to reconsider, but she shook her head. “She’ll need emotional support in there. You aren’t exactly warm and fuzzy, big brother.”

Alec huffed, but relented, grasping Simon’s shoulder and pulling him away from the entrance. “Be careful,” he warned the two of them, giving each woman a stern, searching look. Izzy held out her hand for Clary to take, and the redhead wound their fingers together, determination on her face. 

“Go be a badass shadowhunter, Fray!” Simon called, and Clary threw him a smile over her shoulder. 

 

“So how exactly does this work?” Clary asked, walking close to Izzy in the darkness. She could hear water dripping off the walls around them, and wrinkled her nose at the smell of damp.

Izzy hesitated. “The Silent Brothers have this artefact, called the Soul Sword. They hold it to your head, and carve out the truth.” 

“Sounds delightful,” Clary muttered, shaking her head. Why was this all so… Difficult?

“If you’re not strong enough, you could die,” Izzy admitted, “you can still back out if you feel like you’re not ready, maybe I shouldn’t have…”

“I’ll be fine, Iz,” the redhead squeezed her hand, and Izzy sighed. “I was born for this, right?”

Izzy smiled. “Right. Oh also, the Silent Brothers are seriously creepy. Don’t show fear. They look weird but they won’t hurt you. Aside from the whole… Carving out your memories thing.” 

“Good to know,” Clary couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe she was hysterical. 

Izzy just tugged their joined hands to her mouth, kissing Clary’s knuckles. “I’ll be here, okay?”

A warm, swooping feeling made Clary stop laughing, and she nodded. “I know. Thank you, Izzy.”

 

“I’m sorry if I pissed you off before,” Simon started the second that Clary and Izzy were out of earshot. “I just wanted you to know that…”

“I don’t need to know anything about you,” Alec snapped, examining his arrows to give himself something to do. 

Simon sighed. “Alright, alright. Just… I’m open to being friends with you. If you want. Just wanted you to know that.” He sat down next to Alec, folding his arms and staring around at the darkness.

“I get it,” Alec said quietly, feeling a little heat seep into his cheeks. “How… What gave me away?”

He didn’t know why he bothered to ask, and regretted it the second the question escaped his mouth. 

“Your binder,” Simon smiled, “the seams. One of my best friends is a trans woman, and she’s dating a trans guy, so… I kinda notice these things now. Sorry if I… I didn’t mean to like, make you feel like you don’t, y’know, pass. But that shouldn’t matter anyway.”

“Of course it matters,” Alec hissed, clenching his jaw. “No-one in the Clave will take me seriously.”

Simon shrugged. “I don’t know what the Clave is, but if they can’t accept you, fuck them! You have a really great sister, and at least two friends who don’t care what you look like. As long as you know in your heart that you’re a man, then… What difference does it make what other people think they know or see in you?”

“I won’t have a normal life if the Clave doesn’t buy it,” Alec said quietly, looking down at his feet. 

Simon sighed, and put his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Normal lives are overrated. Trust me, I’m as normal as they come.” 

Alec cracked a smile, and looked at the entrance to the City of Bones. “You know, for a mundane… You actually know some shit.”

Simon grinned at him, and the two sat in silence for a few moments. “Hey… Do you like music?” 

“Uhhh… I guess?” Alec didn’t really listen to much music, though he did tend to work out with earphones in. He mostly just downloaded the top 40 mundane songs of the month; he didn’t have the time or energy to research stuff like mundane music further.

“Wanna listen to my EP? I’m in a band.” 

Alec shrugged. 

“Wait right here, it’s in the van.” 

“Simon!” Alec yelped, watching the mundane run off. “You shouldn’t…” He watched carefully as Simon scrambled up to his van, fiddling with the keys for a moment. 

“Alec!” 

He turned to see Izzy and Clary appearing in the doorway to the City, the redhead’s face pale and withdrawn. She had a tiny cut in the middle of her forehead, and Alec breathed a sigh of relief. He gave Izzy a questioning look, but she was too busy comforting Clary, her arms around her.

“Valentine is my father,” Clary whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. “My father is a monster.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “What?! Izzy, she’s Valentine’s daughter, you know what this means?!”

“Wait, where’s Simon?” Izzy demanded.

“He’s in his van, getting his EP,” Alec shrugged, stepping closer to Clary. “What do you mean your father is…”

“Alec, he’s not in the van.” 

“What?!” Alec spun around, breath catching in his throat as he took in the sight of the van, the driver’s seat door ripped clean off its hinges, Simon nowhere to be seen. 

“I believe you’re looking for this…”

The three of them looked up at the bridge overhead, and saw a vampire holding Simon by his foot, dangling him over the edge like a worm on a hook. Izzy quickly yanked her whip from her wrist. Alec put his hand on her arm. 

“Careful, shadowhunter, you wouldn’t want to break the accords,” the vampire taunted, and Alec clenched his jaw, lowering his bow slowly.

“You’ll be breaking the accords if you kidnap a mundane,” Alec yelled back. 

“Give him back!” Clary screeched. 

“I’m afraid your little mundane pal is coming with us,” the vampire explained. “The Night Children have broken no laws; we’re negotiating. We want the Mortal Cup. We’ll give the mundane back if you give it to us.”

“We can’t give you the Mortal Cup…” Alec snorted, folding his arms.

“The clock is ticking!” The vampire warned, before disappearing into the night, quick as a flash. 

“Fuck!” Alec shouted, the sound of it echoing back to him in the empty night.

“Well, yes,” Izzy muttered, winding her whip back around her wrist.


	3. Episode 3: Dead Man's Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always get so mad at episode 3 cus like... Alec is all 'we can't go and break into the hotel we'll break the accords and cause a war' and then they just.... kill a bunch of vampires???????
> 
> So no vampires die in the making of this episode cus Alec has some common fucking sense

They had to leave the stupid van there, all three of them miserable and silent on the long walk back to the institute. Alec spent the time trying to piece together what exactly Valentine could have to gain by placing his incompetent daughter in Shadowhunter ranks and bringing in a clueless mundane, and tentatively concluded that Valentine was smarter than that. 

Clary wasn’t a threat to them. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, and she was quite obviously close to breaking point just from losing her mundane best friend.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” Clary seethed as they walked into the institute, arms folded tightly. 

Izzy swallowed hard, glancing at Alec before answering. “What’s that?”

“How you can be better than what you call mundanes.”

“We can take runes to enhance our…”

“Well your runes sure came in handy when protecting Simon!” Clary shrieked, whirling around to glare at him. “Isn’t that your job, Alec? Protecting mundanes?!”

Alec put his hands on his hips. “I screwed up,” he confessed. “I took my eyes off him for a second, to see if you and Izzy were alright, and he was gone.”

“It wasn’t Alec’s fault,” Izzy said quietly, “the vampires would have just hurt Alec to get to him. Camille is a real snake. When she decides she wants something, she’ll kill anyone who stands in her way.”

“Who the hell is Camille?!” Clary demanded, and Alec raised an eyebrow at his sister, the same question in his expression. 

Izzy bit her lip. “She’s in charge of the vampires of New York. I’ve… Met her a few times. Meliorn is close with her.” 

“Close,” Alec echoed, puffing out his cheeks. “Are you crazy? You realise that one little bite from her and you could be…”

“I don’t care about Camille!” Clary snapped, striding across to the map of New York. “We need to get Simon back. Where do the vampires live?”

Alec snorted, shaking his head. “Listen, we can’t just go marching into the Hotel Du Mort like a bunch of hot-heads, we could break the Accords.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the accords!”

“Clary, the Accords are the only thing preventing a war with the downworlders,” Izzy told her, reaching out to touch her shoulder soothingly. 

“Look, I told Simon not to go to the van, he should have had at least a modicum of common sense…” Alec pointed out.

Izzy glared at him. “Alec, not now.”

“I am going to the Hotel Du… Whatever. You can stay here with your common sense. I’m going to save my friend.” 

Alec grasped Clary’s arm as she tried to walk past him. “Do you have a death wish? You’re going to walk into a nest of vampires with no weapons and no plan? Really?”

“Do you have a better idea?” She asked coldly. Alec pursed his lips, and looked from Izzy, to Clary, and back again. 

“Actually, yes. We can’t allow Camille to keep Simon, he already knows too much about the downworld and I cannot afford to have a mundane death on my record. So yes, we are going to get your little mundie pal back.” Alec tilted his head to the side, willing away the tension in his neck, “but we’re doing it my way. Quietly, with no collateral damage.”

Clary deflated a little. “Simon charmed you a little bit, didn’t he?” 

Alec snorted, but didn’t bother to deny it. Simon was… Kind. Stupid, but kind. Besides, he really couldn’t afford a mundane fatality on an already unsanctioned mission. 

“He is soft inside, secretly,” Izzy smiled, a little more relaxed now that Clary and Alec were on the same page. “So, big brother, what do you have in mind?”

“How pussy-whipped is Meliorn, on a scale of one to ten?” Alec asked innocently, though his eyes glinted with mischief. Izzy grinned wickedly back at him.

“Twelve.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clary decided to stay with Alec while Izzy went to see Meliorn. She hadn’t had time to figure out what exactly bothered her about the thought of the raven-haired shadowhunter pressing up against some fairy guy (Alec had used the word Seelie but Clary preferred to think of him as a boyish Tinkerbell). She just knew that she’d definitely prefer spending time with Alec, which was a feat in itself. The elder shadowhunter hadn’t exactly been pleasant to her thus far, but he was cute and Clary could smell the touch-starved on him a mile away. 

He’d been buzzing anxiously around the institute, trying, in his own words, not to act suspiciously and failing spectacularly. He was checking weapons, glancing at the clock every few seconds, and Clary tentatively put a hand on his back. The stiff armour of his binder made his shirt shift strangely under her hand.

“Alec, is it smart to wear that into battle?” Clary asked quietly, once she’d checked that no-one could overhear them. 

The swords were all blunt, and Alec made a mental note to give the first year interns a bollocking when he got back. It was their job to make sure all the weapons were prepped. He almost didn’t hear Clary speaking to him, only snapping out of his inner monologue about Clave policy surrounding weapon upkeep when she stepped a little closer, invading his personal space. 

“What?” He demanded, putting his hand on her shoulder and gently pushing her back a step. 

Clary gave him a disapproving look. “You shouldn’t be wearing your binder to exercise; even I know that much.”

“Are you, a random cis girl, really telling me, a trans dude who’s been wearing binders since he was seventeen, what is and isn’t safe use of a binder?” He hissed, folding his arms across his chest.

Of course, she was right, but that wasn’t the point. 

“I’m just looking out for you, Alec.” Clary sighed, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m not like you, I can’t pretend not to give a shit about other people.”

Alec grumbled a little, something about not pretending, or not wanting attention, or something. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to get at, honestly, he was just surprised by the tenacity of the two mundanes who’d come barrelling into his life. It was rare that someone called him out on his bullshit; only Izzy usually cared enough to see through it in the first place. So rather than apologise and risk further exposure at the hands of the redheaded mundane-shadowhunter, he spluttered and scoffed until she smiled at him.

“Promise you’ll change into something more comfortable before we go and meet up with Izzy? We’re going to need you in the Hotel. Can’t have you passing out halfway through staking a vampire, can we?” She coaxed.

“I was going to, anyway,” he muttered, though they both knew it was a lie. 

He stalked off to his room to change, shoulders somewhere near his ears. He wasn’t like his sister; he didn’t enjoy attention. Izzy wore beautiful clothes, walked down the institute like she wanted everyone to look at her. He couldn’t have been more different from his parabatai, preferring to stay in the shadows, engage on the periphery. It was a lot easier to make out who was trustworthy from a distance.

A traitorous part of him was beginning to think that Clary was trustworthy. She was an idiot, hot-headed, stubborn, and clueless, but… 

She worried about him, even though he’d been a grade A asshole to her ever since she’d arrived.

It was kinda nice.

“You going out on a mission?” Alec stopped short when he heard Hodge’s voice behind him, and turned around, tangling his hands together behind his back. 

“Uhhh… Yes. Nothing too bad, just a…”

“You’re terrible at lying to me, Alec,” Hodge snorted, holding up a hand. “Don’t bother. I don’t wanna know.”

Alec huffed out a laugh, and bit the inside of his cheek. “Thanks, Hodge.” He took a step back, but the older man reached out to grab his arm. 

“Wait. Just… Be careful, alright? Going against the Clave can be dangerous. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Who said I’m going against the Clave?” Alec felt his face flush, the hair on the back of his arms standing on end. 

Hodge sighed, and gave him a searching look. “When I joined… You know. I wanted to do the right thing; I wanted to help people because the Clave was letting downworlders get away with terrible things. I had good intentions. I see those same intentions in you. The Clave is not the place for people with heart, Alec.”

“Everyone knows I don’t have a heart,” Alec snorted, squirming out of Hodge’s reach. 

“Bullshit,” Hodge said quietly. “Just… Be careful, okay? Don’t trust Clary. Don’t trust anyone but your parabatai.”

Alec lifted his chin, looking anywhere but at Hodge’s penetrating gaze. “I don’t,” he announced, before turning on his heel and hurriedly retreating to his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you get the info?” Alec asked, fingers toying with the bottom of his quiver as he fell into step besides Izzy. She purred, and fixed her lipstick in her phone screen. “Alright, alright, I get it, Meliorn is good in bed, I should get a Seelie fuck-buddy, everyone is very jealous of you, what did you find out?”

“I hope you’ve got something, because this place looks pretty formidable…” Clary looked uncharacteristically pensive as she looked up at the concrete block that was the Hotel Du Mort. 

“Downworlders are slaves to their impulses, I bet he sung like a canary.” Alec snorted.

Izzy elbowed him in the ribs. “You can’t just assume all downworlders are the same, big brother. You’ve met precisely three.”

“And those three were all slaves to their impulses. Come on, Meliorn would do literally anything for a glimpse of your nipple.” 

“Okay, I get it. Alec’s bitter because no downworlder ever paid attention to him,” Clary rolled her eyes. “How do we get in?”

Alec’s mouth fell open in an ‘o’ shape, and Izzy snickered, putting her arms around Clary’s shoulders and squeezing her tightly. “Is it too soon to say I love you, Clary Fray?”

“I’ll feel better about flirting when I get Simon back,” Clary said pointedly, though she leaned in a little to Izzy’s embrace. “So what have you got?” 

“Right, so… Meliorn’s going to meet us there. He just had to make an excuse to leave the Seelie Realm and then he’ll be at the Hotel.”

“Meliorn is going to help us?” Alec asked skeptically.

Izzy’s smile was as bright as an August day. “I did a favour for him, he’s doing a favour for me.” 

Clary and Alec looked at each other.

“He’s going to distract the guards while we sneak in the back entrance. It’ll be easy to sneak through the corridors with a couple of runes.” Izzy shrugged. “He said that Camille has a bunch of fledgling grunts in there; all the magic and rune resistant vampires have their own covens.”

Alec hummed, patting her on the shoulder. “Good job, Iz. That’s perfect.”

“So you need to draw more of those tattoos on me?” Clary asked, toying with the stele that Izzy had given her the day before.

“Runes, sweetie,” Izzy smiled, “they’re called runes.”

“And if you ask me they’re completely overrated,” Meliorn sighed, stepping out of the shadows in front of them. Izzy flashed him a grin, and Clary licked her lips. So he wasn’t a boyish tinkerbell.

“Just to be transparent, here,” Alec said, stepping in front of Izzy before she could throw herself at the Seelie. “What exactly did Izzy promise you in return for this favour?”

Meliorn inclined his head to the side innocently. “Are you sure you want to know, darling?”

“I meant aside from whatever quirky se act you wanted,” Alec sighed, giving his sister a long-suffering look. Meliorn laughed.

“If you’re asking whether she promised the mortal cup to us, she did not. Seelies have no use for the Mortal Cup; there are no demons in our realm. And as far as we’re concerned, the world has enough shadowhunters.”

Alec raised an eyebrow. 

“He’s happy to help, Alec. No-one wants the vampires gaining power less than the Seelie Queen does.” Izzy pointed out, eyeing the way Clary was looking at her watch. “Come on, we have a mundane to rescue.”

Meliorn wandered over to the front entrance of the Du Mort in the nonchalant way that he did everything except love-making, while the three shadowhunters stood in the shadows applying a plethora of runes to Clary’s arms and stomach. Alec was impressed at how little the redhead flinched, and soon enough they were ready, leaping up the building with their freshly applied runes. 

When they reached the top, the sun broke over the horizon, and Alec smiled. Perfectly timed. It didn’t take much to break open the doors and sneak down into the hotel, the eldest shadowhunter shooting two approaching vampires in the leg with silver-tipped arrows and incapacitating them effortlessly. Izzy patted him on the shoulder, and took the lead. 

“Let’s hope that Meliorn’s distracting enough to keep Camille busy,” Clary muttered, brandishing an angel blade ineptly. Alec quickly corrected her grip, gave her an encouraging smile, and followed Izzy. 

“Simon will probably be in the middle of the hotel, in the most secure room. Camille’s chambers. I’ve been there once, I think it’s on the fourth floor.” Izzy breathed, her back pressed against a corner. 

Alec could feel a stress headache coming on just at the thought of that, and elected to ignore the thought of Izzy and Meliorn giving Camille a late night visit. “Alright, lead the way, Iz.”

As they rounded the corner, Alec caught sight of Simon, priming an arrow in a second as he realised that the vampire who’d taken him had him by the throat. A beautiful old dagger was pressed to the thin skin of Simon’s throat, and Alec pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes.

“Alec, don’t.” Clary growled, grabbing his arm. “You could hit Simon.”

At any other time, Alec would have insisted that actually, he knew what he was doing with a bow, but the vampire didn’t seem to want to wait, twitching nervously where he stood behind Simon. 

“Stop right there or the mundane dies!” He commanded, and Clary took a step back, pulling Izzy and Alec with her. “Back up! Come on, move!”

The vampire herded them back towards the roof, hissing threateningly everytime Alec’s hand made a move towards his quiver, the dagger digging a little harder into the mundane’s throat. Eventually, they ended up back where they’d started, at the top of the hotel. “We’re not leaving without Simon!” Clary insisted.

“Go, now! Clary, don’t!” Simon begged, tears shining in his eyes.

“I am not leaving you!” Clary shot back, but then Simon was staggering towards them, and the vampire dived behind the corner. 

“Take him! Get out!” The vampire hissed. “Don’t come back!”

Simon whirled around, meeting the vampire’s eyes even as he was dragged backwards by Alec. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You mean nothing,” the vampire spat, “this is about Valentine and the chaos he can bring. Isabelle Lightwood,” he looked away from Simon, to Izzy, who was herding Clary out the door, “remember who your friends are.”

Izzy couldn’t help the shiver that went down her spine, and hurried after her brother and the others. 

“Oh my God, Simon, you’re free! We did it!” Clary squeaked, throwing her arms around his neck. 

Alec sighed, and ran his hands through his hair, resisting the urge to fist pump. The mundane was retrieved, with no collateral damage. No vampires killed, no Mortal Cup lost, everyone was happy.

The Clave never had to know.

He wasn’t really paying attention to Clary fussing over Simon, their exclamations and platonic declarations of love background noise as he revelled in the victory they’d just claimed.

“At least now I know Clary isn’t in love with Simon,” Izzy whispered to him, sidling up to him. “She just friend-zoned the shit out of him.”

“Bummer,” Alec snorted, “he’s a good guy. For a mundie.”

“Awwww, do you have a crush?” Izzy cooed, poking him in the ribs. Alec hissed, and slapped her hand away. 

“Stop that. No. He’s not my type.” 

Izzy pouted at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Then who is your type, big brother?”

Alec turned his face up at the sun, closing his eyes. The warmth felt better than he’d expected after the cold darkness of the Hotel Du Mort.

“I’ll know him when I see him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU KNOW WHO GETS INTRODUCED IN EPISODE FOUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
> 
> I'll try and get it done asap!


	4. Episode 4: Raising Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for internalised transphobia: Alec calls his transness a 'deformity' in his inner monologue
> 
> Content warning for panic attacks: Basically a slightly more panicky version of the scene where Magnus summons Valak. 
> 
> Content warning for suicidal ideation: VERY SLIGHT. Izzy mentions in the beginning of the chapter that sometimes Alec thinks about dying. We don't see Alec actually think that.

Izzy couldn’t sleep that night. She felt like she’d forgotten something. Her report for the Clave with the (edited) account of their mission to the City of Bones was done, everyone was safe, but yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was out of place. Eventually she realised that she hadn’t had her customary hot chocolate before turning in for the night, and sighed, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

As she walked down the hallway in her dressing gown, she listened out for Alec. He’d been known to stay up late and work out or stare at the window wishing for death. She smiled when she passed his door, hearing the awful, rattling sound of his snores. The next door down was Clary’s, and Izzy frowned as Alec’s snores faded away, replaced by soft little whimpers. The first thing that Izzy assumed, shamefully, was that Clary was having a little ‘me time’, but when she heard the redhead gasp out ‘no’, Izzy pressed close to the door, knocking on it a little too loudly. 

The room went silent, aside from the sharp breaths of Clary, who’d sat up in bed, wide-eyed. Izzy paused, sucking on her lower lip, and peeked around the door. Clary looked pale, traumatised, exhausted. Izzy’s heart ached for her, and she hurried over to the bed. 

“Bad dream?” She whispered, pushing wisps of red hair back from the other woman’s slightly clammy face.

Clary sighed, picking at the edge of the blanket. “I keep dreaming about this… Man. I’m tied down to a chair and my Mom is there, but this man reaches into my mind and… I don’t know. It feels… Violating.”

“That sounds horrible,” Izzy breathed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Do you want me to go and get Simon? It sounds like you need a cuddle.”

“What’s stopping you from giving me a cuddle?” Clary asked, more curious than seductive, and Izzy shrugged a little, leaning on her hands behind her. 

“Didn’t want you to feel like I was taking advantage. And I figured that Simon would be more comforting than some girl you barely know.” 

Clary sat up a little straighter, grabbing a pillow and putting it in her lap. “I already feel like I’ve known you forever. All of this… It just makes sense to me. You make sense to me.”

“Is that your way of telling me you like me, Clary Fray?” Izzy asked, her eyes brighter than usual, laid bare instead of hidden behind lashings of mascara. Clary shrugged a little. 

“ Something like that. Is that okay? I know you’re with Meliorn…” 

Izzy snorted. “I’m only with Meliorn when it suits the two of us. Mostly, we’re close friends.”

“Oh.”

The two women gazed at each other for a moment, Clary’s hand finding Izzy’s on top of the covers to lace their hands together.

“So… I was promised cuddles?” She mumbled, shifting to lie back, and Izzy bit her lip to hide how wide she wanted to smile, clambering under the covers with none of her usual grace.

“Goodnight, Clary,” Izzy whispered, enamoured at the way the redhead curled into a tight ball next to her, her forehead pressed underneath Izzy’s jaw. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Morning,” Alec greeted his sister over coffee, looked better rested than he had since Clary had shown up. Izzy gave him a tight hug on her way to the pot, and Alec quirked an eyebrow at her. “What’s that for?”

“For being the greatest big brother in the world,” Izzy grinned, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard.

Alec narrowed his eyes as they zeroed in on the extra mug. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”

“You know, just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I fuck everything with a pulse,” Izzy huffed, her good mood a little soured.

“I don’t assume these things because you’re bisexual, I assume these things because you’re beautiful, and confident, and smooth as fuck. You get what you want. I love that about you.” Alec shrugged, ruffling her hair. “Don’t ever mistake my awe in your ability to land anyone you want as judgement, Iz.”

Izzy hummed, placated at Alec’s affectionate response, and leaned against the counter as he bent to get her the milk. “Thank you, big brother. But no, for the record, I did not fuck her. She had a nightmare and we cuddled.”

“A nightmare? What about?” 

“This guy reaching into her brain and like, fucking her up. She seemed really freaked out.” Izzy answered, picking up the two mugs. “She’s still in bed, I’ll take this to her.”

Alec grabbed her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. “A guy reaching into her brain? That must be a warlock doing the memory bullshit on her.”

Realisation dawned on Izzy’s face. “It’s a repressed memory breaking through consciousness. I gotta go ask her more about it!”

“I’ll come with you. If we find the warlock who took her memories, we might be able to find the Mortal Cup.” Alec insisted, following hot on her heels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He was… Tall. She called him Magnus. I think he was Asian?” Clary squinted a little, eyes focussed on the wall as she tried to remember the dream. “He was dressed in silk. He had dark make-up on.”

“Fuck,” Alec hissed, putting his hands on his hips. “Of course it would be him.” 

“Oh shit,” Izzy giggled, putting her hands to her mouth. “Is it fancy pants?”

Alec glared at her. “I told you not to call him that.”

“Fancy Pants?” Clary asked, looking at Alec like he’d grown a second head. 

“There’s this really hot warlock that does the wards on the institute, and Alec’s had a crush on him forever. Like, forever, forever. We didn’t know his name, so…”

“You didn’t know his name. I knew his name. It’s my job to know his name.” Alec scrubbed his hand down his face. “It’s Magnus Bane. He’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn.”

“We call him Fancy Pants.” Izzy shrugged.

“YOU call him Fancy Pants.” Alec grumbled. Secretly, he referred to Magnus Bane as Sparkles in his head, but he would rather die than admit that out loud. 

Clary snorted, shaking her head. “Alright, so how do we find… Fancy Pants?”

“Do not call the most powerful warlock in North America Fancy Pants!” Alec’s voice came out whinier than he’d have liked, his cheeks blazing red. Clary and Izzy giggled. “And we can’t; he’s taken the warlocks into hiding. His magic is so powerful that he can evade the Silent Brothers. We haven’t got a hope in Hell of finding him, unless he wants to be found.”

Izzy hummed, sipping her coffee thoughtfully. Both Clary and Alec mirrored her. “Wait,” she stood up a little straighter, and darted towards the door. “Wasn’t that Simon?”

“Huh?” Alec turned around as Clary and Izzy hurried after the mundane, sighing loudly. One of these days he was going to enjoy his morning without drama. 

When he caught up to the three of them, Simon looked like a mouse that had just been thrown into a tank with a cobra. Alec wandered over, still cradling his coffee, as Clary begged him to stay. 

“The Circle could still come after you,” Alec offered. “We can’t spare the manpower to tail you around the city and keep you safe.”

“You can’t keep me here like a prisoner! I want to go home!” Simon snapped at him, and Alec backed off a little, flexing his neck. He knew that angry defense mechanism better than most; Simon had something he needed to think about. Alec respected that.

Clary, apparently, did not.

“What is wrong with you?! We literally just saved your ass from a bunch of vampires!” She scoffed, putting her hands on her hips. “Simon, this isn’t like you.”

“Just relax, Simon, you’re safe here.” Izzy soothed, putting a hand on his shoulder. Simon glared poisonously at her, and shrugged it off. “Hey!”

“Don’t touch me! Back off!” 

“Hey,” Alec grunted, “if you need some space, then get some. But don’t get mad at us for literally nothing.” 

“You’re going to get Clary killed in a war that has nothing to do with her,” Simon hissed.

Izzy narrowed her eyes at him, speculative. 

“It has everything to do with me, Simon.” Clary insisted, and the mundane scoffed, storming past her and towards the door. Izzy went to follow, but Alec stopped her, shaking his head. 

“Let them figure this one out by themselves, yeah? Something’s going on with that guy.”

“You feel it too?” She asked, watching as Simon and Clary spoke to each other in whisper-yells, gesticulating wildly. 

Alec nodded. “Let’s keep an eye on him, alright? In the meantime… Let’s pull up Magnus Bane’s file.” 

Clary soon joined them at the conference table, eyes a little teary, but as she slid into the seat next to Izzy she seemed to harden herself, fixing her green eyes on the screen with determination as Hodge gave the three of them a basic overview of Magnus’ life.

“Magnus has a deep mistrust of shadowhunters,” Hodge warned them. “He doesn’t help shadowhunters unless they pay handsomely in return. His services have cost the institute an obscene amount of money, but his wards are the reason we can sleep easy at night, so…”

Clary sighed. “What matters most to him? What would make him want to come out?”

“He’s been out for centuries,” Hodge snorted, shooting Izzy a wink. Alec glared at the both of them. Hodge cleared his throat and continued, “Magnus is known for his hedonism. Promise him a good time and he could surface.”

“Meliorn invited me to this downworlder rave this weekend,” Izzy shrugged, “I was going to skip it, but he did describe it as the party of the year. Odds are that Magnus will show up; he came last year.”

Alec quirked an eyebrow at her. “You weren’t legal to drink last year.”

“That’s the most tragic thing you’ve ever said, Alec.”

“Guys, focus!” Clary sighed. “Alright, we see Magnus at the party. How do we get him to help us? Does anyone have like a million dollars lying around because I know I don’t!”

Alec thought of the hideous mountain of paperwork he’d been forced to fill out the previous April, detailing the Institute’s budget, and quickly shook his head. “The Institute won’t be able to pay.”

Izzy gasped suddenly, eyes going wide. “The amulet. Isn’t that necklace…? Didn’t Mom say it belonged to Magnus Bane?” 

“What necklace?” Alec asked blankly, watching as Izzy leapt out of her seat and across to the storage cabinets in the floor. 

“Give me your stele!”

Alec fished it out of his pocket and handed it to her, he and Clary watching as she bent to unlock one of the cabinets. As it rose out of the ground, Alec vaguely remembered his Mom trying to talk him into wearing a pretty ruby amulet to a Clave function, before she came to terms with the fact that he was a boy. His nose wrinkled as it came into sight and he realised that the amulet he’d remembered was the one that apparently belonged to Magnus Bane. It sort of rung a bell, now he thought about it.

“Ahhh, yes. I remember Maryse talking about this necklace when she got it. Magnus bought it for his then-lover, Camille Belcourt, in…”

“Magnus dated Camille?!” Clary’s eyebrows rose up her forehead. “Damn, the downworld is small.”

“This necklace means a lot to Magnus,” Hodge nodded, “he’ll help you if you promise to give it back. Your Mom won’t be happy, though, it was meant to be Alec’s inheritance.”

“I’m really not too mad about that,” Alec shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “Alright, let’s do it.”

“Sweet, I’m dressing the both of you.” Izzy slipped the necklace on, holding her hair out of the way for Clary to fasten the clasp. Alec and Clary made eye contact, both faces a little alarmed. “No arguments, you have to blend in, and neither of you are exactly… Downworlder-friendly.”

“I’m not wearing a muscle shirt again.” Alec growled, but he let her drag him towards their rooms nevertheless. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You have to look sexy, Alec, you might talk to Fancy Pants.”

“His name is Magnus!” Alec hissed, a little panicked as he looked over the clothes that Izzy had picked out for him. He couldn’t wear his packer with the skinny jeans, it was too big. And the shirt she’d chosen was so tight that everyone would be able to see the seams of his binder, something that he’d been triple-thinking ever since Simon and Clary had noticed it. “Please, can I wear something looser?”

Izzy softened a little, patting him on the shoulder. “You wanna wear your binder?”

Alec felt a little ridiculous doing this in front of Clary, but he nodded. 

“You should wear something that shows off your arms,” the redhead offered, “they’re really hot. You have great muscles.”

Alec’s shoulders rose a little, but he smiled a bashful thanks at her. “How about the denim shirt?”

Izzy breathed out through her nose. “Fine,” she relented, “but only because you’re the sniper tonight. We don’t want anyone distracting you.” 

“What are you gonna wear, Iz?” Clary asked, and Alec honestly would have fallen in love with her if he wasn’t a flaming homosexual. She really had a knack for keeping Izzy off his back. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she was here to stay.

“Ooh, I’ll show you!” Izzy enthused, pushing the denim shirt into Alec’s hands and breezing out the door with Clary in tow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That’s… Sparkly.” Clary grinned. “Now I definitely feel underdressed.”

Izzy was wearing a flapper-style dress made entirely of silver sequins and topped off with a matching headpiece. She hadn’t done her make-up yet, but she was already utterly captivating. Clary forced herself to look down at the options that Izzy had laid out for her on the bed. 

“I think you should go with the black. It’ll look sexy with your hair.” 

Clary hummed, picking up the dress. “It’s… Tight.”

“It stretches,” Izzy shrugged. “Put it on. I’ll be in the bathroom doing my make-up.” 

Clary let out a long breath as the bathroom door clicked shut, touching her cheeks to make sure that she wasn’t blushing. She wasn’t. Good. The attention she was getting from Izzy was utterly foreign to her; she’s always preferred girls to boys, always wanted to kiss Cinderella more than she wanted to kiss Prince Charming. No-one seemed to notice, though; all the lesbians Clary had known in high school had assumed that she was arrow-straight just from the fact that she never wore plaid. So she’d never experienced liking a girl and having the girl express interest back. 

She’d never known a girl to be so brave about it, either. Izzy made her nervous and bold all at once. 

Her eyes had wandered to the bathroom door, and she shook herself out of the curiosity plaguing her mind to get dressed, quickly squeezing herself into the dress to make up for lost time. As she raised her eyes to the mirror in front of her, she heard her Mom’s voice tutting in her mind, but pushed it aside as she deftly unhooked her bra and yanked it out from under the dress. It looked odd under the thin black fabric of the dress. 

“You done?” Izzy called right as Clary got her boobs situated, and she hummed in response. “Wow, you look great.” She met Izzy’s eyes in the mirror, and smiled. 

“So do you.”

Izzy pursed her lips. “You’re so lucky to have such small tits, I could never go without a bra.” 

“Hey!” Clary huffed, folding her arms across her chest.

“There’s no shame in having small titties. All titties are good titties.” Izzy insisted, gently taking the redhead’s wrists and putting her hands back down to her sides. “You’re beautiful.” 

Clary turned her hand to wind their fingers together.

“Do you… Do you think red’s my colour?” Izzy asked, tilting her head to the side to show off Magnus’ amulet around her neck. 

Clary smirked wickedly. “Iz, with a body like yours, everything is your colour.”

“True.”

They grinned at each other like idiots for a few moments, before Alec appeared at the door, looking anxious and embarrassed. The two women looked up at him, and he rolled his eyes a little. 

“If you two are done being gay, we have a party to go to.” He muttered, hitching his quiver higher on his shoulder. 

Izzy looked at Clary as she looked at Alec, and impulsively leaned in to kiss her cheek. Clary’s eyes went wide, but she smiled as Izzy pulled back. Alec fought the urge to roll his eyes again, and headed towards the exit. 

“Stay close, Fray. Warlocks can be tricky,” Izzy said softly, the two of them not letting go of each others’ hands. If anyone gave them any strange looks on their way out of the institute, they didn’t notice. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec thought he might vomit as he approached the queue to get into the club, Izzy and Clary a few steps ahead of him. There was so much riding on this mission, and he wasn’t feeling good in his skin, and to top it all off, Sparkles was gonna be involved. He’d spent his teenage years at the institute steadfastly avoiding the warlock, dreading the swell of attraction he felt every time he laid eyes on the older man. It was bad enough that he was trans. It was hardly fair that he was also gay. 

His parents accepted his transness; it worked for them. They’d always wanted a son anyway, someone to carry on the family name. It was understood that Alec would work hard to overcome the prejudice in the Clave, have all the surgery necessary to be perceived as cisgender, marry a good woman who already had a child, give them the Lightwood name, and die heroically in battle before the age of 50. That was the plan. 

He’d really tried being attracted to women. He was overzealous in his late teens, fumbling through flirtation with every girl his age who visited the institute, but the second it came to kissing them he clammed up, making some dumb excuse before running in the opposite direction. Sparkles had been regular reminder, every six weeks on the dot to check the wards, that no matter how much surgery he had, he would never be normal. He would never truly win the affection of his parents.

Or anyone.

Alec huffed through his nose. That wasn’t true, he told himself. Izzy would always love him for who he was. He watched her now, laughing good-naturedly at something Clary said, stars in her eyes. He felt a swell of affection for his sister that was so strong it brought tears to his eyes. 

“I’m gonna go check the perimeter,” he grumbled, “try not to drool on the ruby.” He didn’t want to hear Izzy’s answer, leaping up onto the fire escape above them. Alec stubbornly refused to think the moment his feet hit the metal grate, scanning the street below for Circle members. When he was satisfied that the coast was clear, he ducked through a window and made his way through the stockroom, squeezing past shelves of glass bottles, clutching his bow close. 

It wasn’t difficult to find a vantage point; the lights were mounted on a huge rigging that extended across the room, and Alec crouched on the edge of it easily, right next to a flight of stairs that he could use to get down if anything happened. Spark- Magnus, Alec told himself, Magnus Bane, was easy to spot. He was sat alone, more or less in the middle of the room, checking his make-up. Alec forced himself to look away from the warlock and down into the crowd, using a night vision rune to see through the darkness and smoke machines. Then he waited.

Clary and Izzy made a beeline for Magnus the moment they got into the club, and Alec watched as he stood up to talk to the shadowhunters. Izzy handed over the necklace too quickly, and Alec pursed his lips. She trusted downworlders too easily. Whatever Magnus said next, Clary and Izzy didn’t look happy about it. Clary started yelling at him, and Alec sighed out loud. She was so fiery, and part of him admired it, but… Damn, she didn’t know the meaning of diplomacy. 

Alec’s eyes widened as Magnus opened a portal, and in the amber light of the warlock’s magic, he spotted the flash of someone’s eyes, standing a few feet behind Magnus. A blade shone blue right behind Magnus’ shoulder. Before he could think, Alec fired off an arrow, hitting the Circle member square in the heart. He ran down past Clary, Izzy and Magnus to retrieve the arrow, keeping his eyes carefully fixed on the corpse of the assassin, snatching his angel blade from his hand. Pleased with himself, Alec tossed the blade into his other hand, glancing up to see Magnus disappearing through a portal. Clary grabbed onto his sleeve, but it was too late.

The portal closed behind him. 

“He’s got a Circle rune on the base of his neck,” Alec pointed out, and Izzy ran off to check the perimeter. “Are you alright?” He asked Clary, taking note of her dazed expression.

“He’s gone,” Clary said quietly, so quietly that Alec had to read her lips to understand her. 

Alec sighed. “We’ll find him.”

They wouldn’t find him.

“His stupid button came off in my hand,” Clary scoffed, “serves him right for running away like a coward.” 

Oh.

“Give me that,” Alec ordered, holding out his hand. The silver button dropped into it, and Alec raised his eyes to look for Izzy. She stomped back over to them, looking a little harassed. 

“Just some fuckboys,” she said at the questioning looks from Alec and Clary, “looks like he was the only assassin. Let’s get out of here.” 

Clary slumped against the wall once they exited the club, staring into nothingness. Izzy frowned, putting a hand on her shoulder. “This is just great,” Clary hissed, “we didn’t get my memories back and he took the necklace. There’s no way we’re going to find him now!” 

“Actually,” Alec sighed, looking at the button between his fingers, “that’s not true. Iz, look.” 

“Is that Magnus’?” She asked, tugging Clary over by her elbow. Alec nodded.

“Who cares?” Clary sighed, resting her forehead on Izzy’s shoulder. “We’re never going to find the cup or my Mom.” 

“We can track him with this, me and Izzy.” Alec explained, “we’re parabatai, we can track people using their possessions.”

Izzy smiled widely, and took Alec’s hands in hers, two sets of fingers curled protectively round the button. They looked into each other’s faces, mirroring intense, dark-eyed concentration and pursed lips as the angelic power of the parabatai bond searched for Magnus Bane. It only took a few minutes, and then both of them were smiling and pulling back. Clary sighed in relief.

“So is this like a family thing?” She asked, letting Izzy take her hand as they headed off in the direction of Magnus’ lair.

Alec snorted. “No, it’s a way for the two of us to become stronger warriors. We fight together. Our hearts beat as one in battle, we sense each others’ moves, our stronger emotions. Our instincts.” 

“Sometimes parabatai are siblings, but not always. You just need a deep respect for each other’s abilities and intuition into each others’ weaknesses.” Izzy explained. “The parabatai bond is cool, but first and foremost we’re brother and sister.” 

Clary hummed. “If I were a shadowhunter, I know who my parabatai would be.”

“Simon?” Izzy guessed, and Clary smiled. 

“Of course.”

“You can’t be parabatai with a mundane,” Alec grumbled, wrenching open the door to the warehouse where the warlocks’ hideout was concealed. He let Clary and Izzy lead the way, notching an arrow as they entered the abandoned building. 

Izzy pulled out a seraph blade as they crept through the warehouse, the three of them back to back, eyes scanning the edges of the dark room. Alec spun around as he heard a yell from the balcony, breath catching in his throat as a warlock fell over the edge, throat slit. He fired off an arrow at the circle member who’d killed him, hitting them right in the shoulder. 

“The circle’s here, we need to get to the warlocks,” Alec told the two women, making eye contact with Clary for a moment. “make sure you stay close. Iz, keep her safe, we can’t let Valentine get his hands on her as well as Jocelyn.” 

“I’ve got this,” Izzy promised, “go secure the warlocks.” 

Alec ran up to the second floor, efficiently picking off circle members as he went, pushing through a black wooden door and suddenly finding himself in an opulent but wrecked apartment. As he skidded around the corner, he caught sight of dead warlocks dotted around everywhere, and Magnus standing in the middle of them, fighting a circle member with blasts of magic.

An arrow sank into the circle member’s thigh before Alec even thought about it, and Magnus finished him off easily, one last handful of power knocking Valentine’s minion back, unconscious or possibly dead. Alec didn’t particularly care about that part, because he’d opened his mouth to compliment the warlock.

“Well done,” he murmured, lowering his bow.

Magnus hummed, and shrugged one shoulder, his back still to Alec. “More like medium rare.”

Alec huffed out a laugh, the hairs on the back of his neck rising as Magnus turned to look at him. He willed himself not to blush. 

“I’m Magnus.” Alec bit back the urge to say ‘I know’, heart thumping out of control in his chest at the way Magnus’ eyes bore into his, not wandering for a second. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.”

“Alec.” He was grinning, he realised, but he couldn’t stop himself. He probably looked demented, but he couldn’t bring himself to care because Magnus was looking right at him, not at his chest, trying to figure out what was going on, or down his body with hunger, but… At his eyes. “We should, uh… Should probably… You know, get…”

Christ.

“Right,” Magnus smiled, “we should join the party.” 

“Right.”

Magnus’ eyes were so shiny.

Oh God, did he say that out loud? 

Alec hastily turned and ran back out to where Izzy and Clary were fighting the assassins, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach. Mission first, gay crisis later, he told himself. 

Later, once Alec and Izzy had double and triple-checked the lair, making sure that all the circle members were either dead or gone, they climbed back up the stairs to Magnus’ apartment, where Clary and Magnus were trying to treat the warlocks who’d survived the attack. Magnus was hugging a young warlock girl as they rounded the corner, and Alec hung back as Magnus spoke to Clary, pretending to count his arrows. He almost, almost wanted to ask Izzy how to talk to men, but realised that a lifetime of teasing was probably not worth it. 

He was staring into space trying to figure out what exactly he was going to say to Magnus when the warlock turned to address the room, jumping out of his skin. 

“Hold tight, everyone. We’re about to move.” 

Clary walked back over to Izzy and Alec, looking proud of herself. “Magnus is going to summon the demon who’s keeping my memories. He said that it won’t be easy, but…” 

“That’s great, Clary. Well done.” Izzy smiled, squeezing her hand. 

Magnus threw his hands up in the air, his magic vibrating between his hands and then through the entire room, a bright flash of white light encompassing the entire thing before it faded, and Alec glanced around. Nothing seemed to have changed, but apparently, they’d moved. “Much better,” Magnus sighed, looking out of the window for a moment before turning to the room. “Ugh, it’s inevitable. After each move, I get the urge to redecorate.” He met Alec’s eyes. “Normally I love a dirty lair, but this one’s just sloppy.”

Izzy snorted, and Alec tore his eyes away from Magnus to glare at her. He fiddled with his bow, watching Magnus out of the corner of his eye. He still hadn’t figured out what, exactly, he wanted to say. His shoulders drew up to his ears, and he scurried around the edge of the room to stand next to Izzy. 

Magnus looked Izzy up and down, a small smile on his face. “I believe in payment for services rendered.” He held up the necklace from before, the ruby glinting in the light. Izzy’s eyes lit up. “Thank you for defending the warlocks.”

“I couldn’t,” Izzy insisted, tangling her fingers together behind her back. 

“Oh, but you could.” Magnus pressed, walking behind her, fiddling with the clasp. “And you should. The Lightwoods have been wearing this for years. Besides,” he leaned in close, “it would look silly on your brother.” The two of them giggled together, and Alec passed his weight from foot to foot. He didn’t hear what Magnus said next, but judging by the triumphant look on Izzy’s face, he could only imagine it was something that would embarrass him. 

Clary, seeing the way Izzy grinned at Magnus and utterly misreading the room, stood up. “Okay, so how do we summon the memory demon?”

Alec breathed out a silent sigh of relief, grateful that the focus was away from him for a moment. He inched over towards Izzy, and she squeezed his hand a little, sensing his anxiety through the bond. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as Clary insisted that she was sure about summoning the demon, and she and Magnus went into the spare bedroom to start preparation for the spell. 

“You doing okay?” Izzy asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Izzy gave him a pointed look, and then directed her eyes to Magnus, who was standing in the other room with his back turned. “He’s even hotter up close. And he’s clearly into you.”

“You don’t know that,” Alec gulped, scratching the back of his head.

“Oh, I think I do.” Izzy elbowed him in the ribs. “Look at that ass.”

“Izzy!” Alec hissed, face blazing. 

She just giggled at him, shaking her head a little. 

Magnus turned around, waving his hand though his eyes were still on Clary. “Pretty one, get your team together,” he ordered casually, and Izzy stepped forwards. At the sound of her high heels on the vinyl floor, Magnus actually looked at the Lightwood siblings. “Oh, sweetheart. As beautiful as you are… I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to…” he pointed right at Alec’s chest, and the shadowhunter’s throat closed up with pure elation. “You.”

Alec grinned, eyes lighting up, and proudly pushed past his sister to go to Magnus’ side. Izzy watched as he followed at Magnus’ heels like a puppy, and made a pact with herself to make sure that Alec actually gave Magnus, and himself, a chance. 

“You know, you’re not what I expected from the eldest Lightwood sibling,” Magnus leaned against the wall as Clary drew the summoning circle and pentagram on the floor next to them. 

“Uhh…” Alec swallowed hard, dread making his lungs seize. “What… What do you mean?”

Magnus tilted his head to the side a little. “You actually seem to care about something other than the Clave’s rigid laws.” 

“Oh,” Alec sighed, hitching his bow higher up his shoulder. “I-I guess… I mean, it’s my job to protect downworlders. It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal,” the warlock echoed thoughtfully, still looking directly into Alec’s eyes like he was trying to decipher his deepest secrets, “it’s a big deal to me.”

“I know! I’m not being fake humble, I-”

“I know,” Magnus smiled, lifting his hand like he was going to touch but then seeming to think better of it. “It’s nice to meet you, Alec Lightwood. Officially. I’ve heard a lot about your sister from downworlder gossip, but almost nothing about you. I wonder how you managed to slip under the radar.”

Alec shrugged. “I just tend to keep to myself. Izzy’s the outgoing one.” 

“Well, I look forward to getting to know you better.” Part of Magnus’ attention was on Clary, and he noticed that she’d almost finished the pentagram. “Isabelle,” he called, smiling at her as she walked into the room, “prepare Clary as best you can.” He motioned for Alec to follow him back to the living room. 

The elder Lightwood gave his sister a questioning look, but she raised her eyebrows and motioned with her head for Alec to follow the warlock. Once the two men were out of earshot, Izzy turned to Clary, a grim look on her face. “This is going to hurt,” she murmured, smoothing her hand down Clary’s arm. “This rune is more powerful than anything you’ve faced so far.”

“Do it,” Clary insisted, steeling herself. Izzy put her stele to Clary’s arm and started carving out the rune, squeezing the limb a little tighter as Clary let out a scream, tears pooling in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Izzy whispered, thumb smoothing over the new rune once she was done.

The readhead swiped at the tears on her cheeks, sniffing a little. “It’s alright, it’s for my own protection. I know that. Just hurt, is all.” 

“That’s one of the worse ones,” Izzy promised, rubbing her arm gently. 

In the other room, Magus winced at the sound of Clary’s scream, a shudder running down his spine. Alec chewed the inside of his cheek, tentatively touching Magnus’ shoulder. The warlock glanced up to meet Alec’s eyes, and the shadowhunter offered a shy smile.

“She’ll be alright, it only hurts for a minute.” He pointed out, and Magnus sighed.

“I never had much of a stomach for that sort of thing, though my own pain tolerance is remarkably high, especially when I like whoever’s inflicting it.” He couldn’t resist teasing the younger man, and he relished the way Alec looked at him with confusion. “Anyway!”

“Yeah…”

“Let’s go summon a demon, hmm?” Magnus suggested, and Alec let out a long breath, nodding. He followed the warlock through to the room where Clary was finishing up the pentagram, Magnus letting out a lot whistle as he took in her work. “Jocelyn was right,” he marvelled, “your artistry is beyond compare.”

“I don’t know about that,” Clary sighed, getting to her feet.

Magnus hummed, eyes raking over the chalk drawing. Even Alec had to admit, it was impressive for half an hour’s work. “Oh, the only other person I’ve known who could draw as well was Michelangelo…” The warlock’s eyes lifted to meet Alec’s. “Who was excellent in bed, I might add.”

Izzy laughed as Alec squirmed, looking anywhere but at Magnus. 

He’d never met a man who liked men before. Were they all so… Overt? Alec thought that he definitely had some catching up to do.

Magnus smiled fondly at Alec when he wasn’t looking, enamoured by the sweetness of him, the heart that cared more about Magnus’ people than it did about getting its leg over. He’d have to keep an eye on the eldest Lightwood. He rolled up his sleeves as he took his place on one of the points of the pentagram. 

“Alright, we’re ready. Everyone take your place. We have a gap, so someone’ll have to stretch.” Magnus sighed. It would be a lot easier if they had a fifth person, but he’d asked enough of his own people for one night. 

Izzy showed Clary where to stand as Magnus started to explain the ritual, and Alec’s focus narrowed in to the cadence of Magnus’ voice, trying to will his palms not to sweat. The last thing he wanted was for Magnus’ hand to slip out of his and release a greater demon in the middle of the city because he was blushing so hard just from having his hand held. 

Magnus offered Alec his hand with a flourish, and Alec eyed it for a moment before taking it, pleased to see that Magnus’ hands didn’t dwarf his own. A pulse of magic sent a shock through Alec’s system, and he looked up at Magnus’ face for encouragement. When he got a little nod from the warlock, he tore his eyes away and reached out for Clary, who reached out for Izzy, who grasped tightly onto Magnus’ hand. The circle was complete, and Alec looked back at Magnus, whose hips were swaying just the tiniest fraction of an inch, leaning into the magic. It was very distracting. Especially when Magnus spoke in that authoritative voice, demanding they all do exactly as he says.

Christ.

When did he get so sexually frustrated?

Alec forced his attention back to the words that Magnus was saying, determined to make this summoning work. 

“The demon’s name is Valak. At some point, he will ask for payment in exchange for Clary’s memories.” Magnus explained and Alec frowned. That didn’t sound good.

“What kind of payment?” He asked.

Magnus shrugged slightly. “We will see. Let us begin.” 

Izzy and Alec gave each other a look as Magnus started chanting in some demonic language, communicating that they were both poised and ready in case things went south or Magnus wasn’t what he seemed. Clary just looked nervous when Alec glanced at her, green eyes focussed on Magnus. Odds were she wouldn’t be much help. The necklace around Izzy’s neck started pulsing as Magnus finished his spell, and Alec looked up at the ceiling and back down at the pentagram. All of a sudden, the chalk started to shine, and a rush of grey smoke came hurtling down, filling the circle. 

“Valak is among us,” Magnus said, and Alec bit back a ‘no shit, sherlock’. “Do not break the bond. It’s time, the demon demands payment.”

“What does it want?” Alec asked, shouting to make himself heard over the rushing in his ears. 

“We must each relinquish a moment of intimacy,” Magnus yelled back.

Izzy didn’t hesitate, her chest arching towards the smoke. An image of Alec and her, after her first break-up. She was crying into his shoulder, and he was telling her that it was all going to be alright. 

Clary was next, and her memory showed Simon and her, when she taught him how to kiss on the backs of their hands. The two of them giggled, sat next to each other on a bed.

When Alec’s chest arched, he had no idea what was about to appear, and his throat closed up as he saw an image of himself, clearly a teenage girl, and his Mom as she gave him his first ever shot of testosterone, and though he couldn’t hear the words she spoke, he remembered what she’d said.

“Now you can be normal.” 

Alec could feel tears of humiliation brimming in his eyes, could feel Magnus’ eyes on him. He didn’t dare look over, just tried to tug his hand out of the warlock’s desperately, wanting so badly to run away and hide. 

“N-no, that can’t be right!” He choked, “the demon deceived me, it’s not…” 

Was that tainted moment really the most intimate he’d ever felt with anyone?

What was wrong with him?

“Alec!” Izzy shouted, “it’s okay!”

“Do not break the bond!” Magnus snapped, squeezing his hand tightly. 

Alec wrenched his hand out of Magnus’, clutched at the sides of his binder. He couldn’t breathe, it was choking him, he should never have worn it… Everyone was shouting, there was smoke everywhere, he couldn’t breathe. The next thing he knew, he was wrenched into the air, surrounded by energy that made him finally break, tears spilling down his cheeks. Was he dead? 

Izzy had grabbed onto Alec’s arm right before he’d gotten pulled in by the demon, and desperately tried to pull him free of the demon’s grasp, screaming at him to snap out of it. Magnus was trying to hold the demon back, balls of magic radiating from his palms, but Clary could see that none of them could stop the demon from devouring Alec, not for long.

Resolved, she pulled out her angel blade, and ran towards Valak’s smoky shroud.

“Clary,” Magnus warned, “if you kill the demon, your memories will be lost forever!” 

Clary steeled herself, narrowly avoiding a grasping tendril, and thrust the blade into the middle of the smoke. Valak cried out in pain, thrashing around before exploding in a flurry of orange sparks. Alec dropped heavily to the ground, unconscious. With a quick look at Clary, Izzy ran to her brother’s side, checking his pulse.

“He’s alive. We need to get his binder off, he’s been wearing it for hours.” She said urgently, pulling out a dagger. Magnus knelt down on Alec’s other side, waving his fingers over the shadowhunter’s chest, making his binder appear unscathed in his hand. Izzy let out a sigh of relief as Alec took in a deep breath, pushing his hair back from his face. 

“Was that because of me?” Magnus asked quietly, looking a little pale. “Did he… Did I make him feel like I would judge…?”

“It’s not your fault,” Izzy insisted, “he gets really freaked out about this stuff. He thinks that people will hate him if they know…” 

Alec groaned softly, trying to push himself up from the ground. Magnus tutted, and held him down by his shoulder. 

“Lie still, Alec, let me make sure you’re alright.” He said gently as Alec’s eyes opened. 

“I’m fine,” Alec choked, snatching his binder from Magnus’ hand and covering his chest with his arms. “Is everyone okay?”

They all looked over at Clary, who was kneeling next to the pentagram, staring down at the intricate chalk. Alec gave Izzy a questioning look, and she shook her head. Magnus got up, walking over to her and putting his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t look up at him.

“I’m sorry, Clary.” Alec murmured, sitting up with Izzy’s help. “I’m so sorry.” He’d just single-handedly fucked up any chance they had of finding the mortal cup. Because of his crush on Magnus. Because of his… deformity. 

Clary looked over to him and offered him a weak, watery smile. “It’s okay, Alec. You had a panic attack, it’s not your fault.” 

“A panic attack?” Both Izzy and Alec asked at the same time. Magnus tutted, and shook his head.

“I see the Clave still hasn’t decided to recognise mental health as a palpable thing…” He grumbled, putting his hands on his hips. 

“It’s fine. I promise.” Clary insisted, reaching over to squeeze Alec’s knee. “We’ll find another way.” 

Her kindness didn’t make Alec feel any better, and he bit fiercely into his lip to keep from crying. Izzy rubbed his back soothingly. 

“I’ll give you some space. And, Alexander…” Magnus murmured, touching his shoulder. “It makes no difference to your beauty or your soul. Okay? It’s okay. I still think you’re lovely… For a shadowhunter.” He winked, patting him gently, before nodding at Izzy and wandering from the room. 

Alec did cry a bit at that, letting out a shaky breath as he buried his face in his binder. He’d learned from experience that it was pretty absorbent. Izzy’s lower lip wobbled at the sight of her brother’s pain, and kissed his temple softly. Clary got up to give the Lightwood siblings some space, following Magnus out to the living room, where he was making a cocktail. 

“Got a spare?” She asked, perching on the back of his couch. Magnus snorted.

“You’re barely eighteen, I’m not letting you drink.” He said, hesitating over his shaker. “Do you think Alec and Izzy could use one?”

“I don’t think introducing alcohol to Alec’s anxiety would help anything right now.” 

“That’s probably sensible,” Magnus muttered grimly, pouring one for himself and putting the rest aside. “So… Clary Fairchild. It’s been a while.” 

Clary tilted her head to the side. “How long?”

The warlock thought about it for a moment. “About three or four years. Luke didn’t like your mother wiping everything away when you were old enough to comprehend what was going on. But in the end, both of us had to respect your mother’s wishes, at least until you turned eighteen.” He smiled fondly at her. “You’ve grown into an incredible young woman. She’d be proud.” 

Clary folded her arms tightly. “I don’t have any idea what I’m doing.”

“You slayed a greater demon, Biscuit. Not many shadowhunters can say that, even after years of training.” Magnus shrugged. “You will be quite the warrior. I just hope that you don’t lose your heart along the way.” 

“That’ll never happen, Magnus.” She insisted, and Magnus couldn’t help but believe her, the fierceness in her eyes reflecting her mother in a way that made the hairs on his arms stand on end. He smiled.

“You’ll be fine.”

Clary shrugged, toying with the amulet around her neck. The breath whooshed out from her lungs as she saw her father, Valentine, standing over her mother’s unconscious body. He glanced up, and looked right at her. 

“You want your mother? Give me the cup!” He hissed, and the vision slipped away, leaving her staring, wide eyed, at Magnus.

“What did you see?” He asked, looking at the amulet with horror. 

Clary blinked away tears. “Mom.”


	5. Episode 5: Moo Shu To Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: transphobic parents: Maryse isn't transphobic in the 'I hate you and don't accept your transness' sense, but in the 'you don't pass as cis and that embarrasses me' sense. She makes no secret of this, and it makes Alec feel like shit. PLEASE be careful reading this if you have transphobic parents. Maryse WILL EVENTUALLY learn and leave this way of thinking behind, but she is not pleasant in this chapter
> 
> TW: misogyny: Maryse shames Izzy for her clothes and her sexual relationship with Meliorn.
> 
> If there are any other things you think I need to warn for, let me know!

“Is Jocelyn alright?” Magnus asked, going to Clary’s side to take her elbow. 

The redhead hopped off the back of the sofa, pulling the amulet over her head. “I think so. She was unconscious. Valentine was standing over her. He looked right at me and said ‘your mother for the cup.’ Magnus, how could he see me?” She asked, dropping the necklace into his hand as he reached for it. 

Holding it up in front of his face, Magnus squinted at it. “It looks like a portal shard. That would explain why Valentine can see back through it; it’s like a two-way door.”

“Valentine can see back through what?” Magnus and Clary both turned around at the sound of Alec’s voice. He looked a little tired, and his face was chapped from the tears, but his eyes were fixed stubbornly on the necklace dangling from Magnus’ fingers. “He can see us?”

“I don’t know, he could see me. He looked right at me and said my name.” Clary explained.

“Portal magic is very strong, especially one like this. It’s possible that he can see your surroundings, as well.” Magnus explained, quirking his eyebrow a little as the younger man snatched it from his hand. 

“Did you see anything else? Was there a window you could see out of? Photographs? Furniture, even?!” Alec demanded, his dark eyes sharp and focussed as they glanced at Clary’s face.

Clary stuttered, looking between Izzy and Magnus. “I-I don’t know, it was horrible, I wasn’t thinking about what was around him, I just saw my Mom!” 

Alec’s jaw tightened. He could feel Magnus looking at him, and he steadfastly ignored the blush creeping up the back of his neck. It was stupid for him to think, even for a moment, that he should allow himself to get distracted from the mission. Who cared what Magnus thought of him, anyway? What difference did it make?

“Emotions are nothing but a distraction,” he said coldly, “you’re ruled by them. We’re taught to control them.” 

“And how’s that working out for you?” Clary answered, malice creeping into her voice. Izzy inhaled sharply. 

“This isn’t solving anything,” Izzy stepped in as Alec opened his mouth to respond. “We should get back to the institute, Alec needs to rest.” 

“We are not taking this thing back there. It’s my job to protect the institute, we cannot allow Valentine to see in.” Alec insisted, eyes darting to Magnus. 

The warlock had stepped back a little from the three shadowhunters, recognising where his opinion was not needed. He sat on the sofa, sipping at the cocktail he’d made earlier. As he felt the weight of Alec’s gaze land on him, he looked up, pursing his lips. 

“I don’t want Valentine seeing in here, either. You can’t leave it here.” He said, and Alec sighed, shoving it in his pocket. 

“Fine. I’ll lock it away when we get back to the institute.” He turned on his heel and went to leave.

Clary put her hands on her hips. “Well, how are we supposed to find my Mom if you’re going to hide it? That’s our only lead!” 

“We should use it to get to Valentine. Clary’s right, it’s the only way we know how to find him.” Izzy pointed out. “We have to stop him before he gathers any more power.” 

Alec scoffed, and shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Goodbye, Magnus.” He called, unable to resist, and Magnus gave him a soft smile and a wave, though there was a tightness in his eyes that told the shadowhunter that Magnus wasn’t quite happy with him.

He could unpack that later. 

Out on the street, Izzy caught up to him again, Clary in tow. “How else are we supposed to find Valentine?” She demanded, almost jogging along next to him with how fast he was walking. His binder was balled up in his fist, and he squished the armoured material in his hand as he walked, focussing on the way it slid against his knuckles so he wouldn’t sound too patronising as he explained his thinking to his sister and her little girlfriend. 

“If I was Valentine, I’d make Clary think that she could rescue her mother, and set a trap for her when she arrives. That way I’d have Clary too, and I could use her to get the cup. We’re not stupid enough to fall into that trap.” He insisted. 

“We wouldn’t let that happen,” Clary promised, “we managed to infiltrate the Hotel Du Mort! We make a good team!”

Alec snorted. “That was vampires. They have no training and no organisation. Valentine is an actual challenge. The necklace stays locked up in a safe in the institute. No arguments.” 

“But what if we-” 

“No arguments, Izzy! I mean it!” 

Clary and Izzy sighed, and looked at each other. Alec didn’t like the idea that they could already communicate through looks; it could only spell trouble for him. 

“I’m going to get some food on the way back,” Izzy announced, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. 

Alec rolled his eyes. No doubt the two women would be scheming, but there wasn’t much he could do about that. Besides, his nipples were hardening in the cool New York air, and it wasn’t dark enough to hide them. He’d already gotten enough strange looks from mundanes, and all he wanted was to curl up in bed and rip out a few dozen strands of hair. “Fine,” he grumbled, “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Night, Alec,” Clary murmured as he walked off by himself through the city, and turned to Izzy with a helpless look on her face. “What are we going to do?” 

Izzy pursed her lips a little, and took the other woman’s hand, twining their fingers together. “We’ll figure something out. Alec is just trying to do what he thinks is best.”

“He’s being an asshole. I get that he’s stressed right now after the whole…”

“He has a unique way of dealing with things. But he’s doing his best,” Izzy repeated, a little more firmly. Clary sighed, and lowered her eyes to the pavement. “You’re part of us now, Clary,” she said quietly, ducking her head to meet Clary’s eyes. “He doesn’t want to see you get hurt.”

Clary grumbled a little. “Could be less of an asshole about it.” 

“Well, yes, but he is a Lightwood, he can’t help that. We’re a headstrong bunch.” Izzy laughed, squeezing Clary’s hand. “I get it. You love your Mom. You’d do anything to get her back. I’d be the same way if it was Alec that Valentine had.” 

“I want her back more than anything…”

Izzy sighed, her eyes darting back and forth across the street, taking in all the lights and people as they wandered through the streets, keeping an eye out for a takeaway. “What’s your Mom like?” 

“She’s great. She was supportive, cool, fun… Simon adored her growing up. He always used to sleep over at our house because he had a crush on her…” Clary smiled, looking down at where her hand was joined with Izzy’s. “She always knew when something was wrong…”

A couple of hours later, the two women walked into the institute, giggling at the story of the time Clary told her Mom that she liked girls, when Izzy stopped dead in her tracks, the shine in her eyes extinguished in an instant. Clary followed her gaze to a severe-looking woman, standing next to a command point in the centre of the institute. Izzy yanked her hand out of Clary’s and started forward without her, shoulders rising a little as she went. Confused, Clary followed, tangling her hands together in front of her. 

The woman was dressed in the black, skintight clothes that Clary had come to understand was basically a uniform for Shadowhunters, but her hair was pulled back into a flawless ponytail, and her face was stern. As Izzy approached, she looked up, and something instinctive in Clary felt the need to push Izzy behind her. 

The woman clearly did not like Izzy. 

“Mother,” Izzy murmured. 

“Isabelle,” she drawled in response, giving her daughter a slow, appraising look up and down the full length of her body. “Dressed to impress, I see. And playing with your brother’s inheritance.” 

Clary put on her most innocent smile as Maryse’s penetrating gaze was turned on her, and stuck out her hand. “Clary Fray.” 

“Clary Fairchild, actually,” Maryse hummed, “and I know all about you and your mother. We’ve heard all about you at the Clave.” 

“Oh…”

“Where’s Alexander? We have a situation that needs his attention.” 

Izzy licked her lips, twisting her fingers in the ends of her hair. “I think he’s in his room. He’s had a long day, he needs rest.” 

“The future head of the institute must be ready at all times for an emergency. Alexander understands that.” Maryse sniffed, giving Clary one last, searching look before turning on her ergonomic heels to go and look for her eldest. 

“We should follow,” Izzy whispered, “Alec doesn’t need this right now.”

“That’s your Mom?” Clary hissed as they walked a few paces behind her, “she didn’t even hug you.”

Izzy shrugged. “Shadowhunters aren’t big huggers.” 

“Alec?” Maryse reached her son’s door, and before she could knock, he opened it, looking downright miserable. His face looked even paler than before, and Clary felt a little bad for giving him a hard time earlier when he swiped his hand down his face to hide the redness at the tip of his nose and in his eyes. Maryse immediately pulled him into a hug, and Izzy cleared her throat, squirming next to Clary.

“Hello, Mother.” Alec nodded, squeezing her lightly. She seemed to be almost suffocating him, and his eyes landed on Izzy, silently screaming at her. 

“Mother, where’s Max and Dad?” Izzy asked, and Maryse pulled back. 

“Robert is picking him up from the Mumbai institute. But that’s not why I’m here,” she sighed, looking Alec up and down as she stepped back. “Why aren’t you wearing your binder? Anyone could see you standing around out here.” 

Alec looked down at his feet, swallowing hard. 

“He was wearing it all day, you can’t just wear it all the time!” Clary retorted, “it could crush his ribs.” 

Maryse turned to look at the redhead, a slight curl in her lip. “Alexander is not as fragile as you mundanes. He can cope with a little pressure.” 

“Of course,” Alec coughed, retreating into his room to grab the biggest jumper he could find. “I was just turning in for bed.”

“Well, put it back on.” Maryse demanded, pursing her lips. “No-one needs to be reminded of… That.” 

“Mother, you only just got here.” Izzy started, but Alec shook his head at her. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” He shrugged, grabbing his binder with a sense of dread deep in the pit of his stomach. “I’ll meet you in the briefing room in a moment.” 

“Don’t dawdle, we have an emergency.” Maryse sighed, her hand cupping his face for a moment, thumb brushing under his cheek. Her expression was about as close to gentle as it was ever going to get, Clary guessed, and as the Lightwood matriarch left the room, Clary stared at Alec and Izzy with a million questions in her eyes. 

“That’s Mom,” Izzy sighed, pulling her dress down a little. 

“She’s garbage.” Clary announced.

Alec squirmed a little, twisting his binder in his hands. “She’s done a lot for me.”

Clary snorted. “She’s fucking garbage. She has no right to talk to you like that, Alec! You don’t have to take that!”

“I do if I want my testosterone shots paid for,” Alec responded, too tired to sound mad. “Can you just go so I can change? I won’t be a minute.” 

Izzy squeezed his shoulder as she passed him. “We’ll get rid of her as quickly as possible, okay?” 

Alec nodded, and shooed them out, pressing his forehead against the closed door once they’d gone. He felt tears spring to his eyes again, tugging at his hair. He didn’t need this right now. God, why now? Why did she have to come and kick over the tiny shred of self confidence he’d managed to scrape together in the four months since she’d last come to visit? 

He could barely breathe, between the anxiety and the pressure on his ribs. He draw a quick iratze, hoping it would help, but his lungs had been under stress all day, and they protested with every step he took towards the briefing centre. Clary was glaring daggers at Maryse’s back when he arrived, and he couldn’t help but smile a little to himself. He and Clary didn’t see eye to eye on much, but she had turned out to be a fierce friend, standing up to his mother on his behalf and risking the wrath of such a powerful woman.

It was strange to him, that someone outside his family cared enough about him to do that.

It made it just a little easier to breathe.

“I’m here,” he sighed, his hands coming together behind his back. “What seems to be the problem?”

Maryse appraised him briefly, and saw something that must have satisfied her, because she started circling Izzy and Clary. “The Seelies have stopped communicating with the Clave and won’t explain why. It seems that we have… upset their sensibilities, somehow.”

“I have friends who are Seelies, I can ask around…” Izzy suggested, but the mocking smirk on her mother’s face told her instantly that she’d said the wrong thing.

“We’re all very aware of your friendships, Isabelle. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, we stay separate from the Downworlders for good reason. Seelies in particular are easily offended, and who knows what custom you unwittingly trod on? You could have put even the Accords themselves at risk. Do you think there’s such a thing as harmless rebellion?” 

Clary looked openly disgusted, and Alec just kept his eyes fixed on her. He couldn’t bear to look at the shamed expression he knew was on Izzy’s face. Their mother had a way of making them both feel utterly worthless. 

“So you’re really laying all this on Izzy for having a friend in the Downworld? Really?” Clary asked, arms folded.

Maryse rolled her eyes, and the similarity that Clary suddenly saw between Maryse and her son disturbed her. “When someone upsets the natural order, everything falls apart.”

“Natural order?” Clary spluttered. “Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“Clary…” Izzy murmured.

“No, what the fuck do you think you mean by the natural order?!” Clary insisted, eyes blazing with rage. “Downworlders are just as human as we are.”

“I can help,” Izzy got in between Clary and her mother, making direct eye contact with her mother. “Meliorn will tell me what happened. I know how to talk to Seelies.”

“She’s right,” Alec agreed, eager to distract his mother from Clary’s outburst, “Meliorn respects her, he’ll tell her what he knows. I can go with her if you want.” 

Maryse tore her eyes away from the staring competition she was having with Clary to focus on Alec. “This is too important. I will accompany Isabelle tomorrow morning. Make sure nothing untoward goes on. And Alec, you’ll stay with the Fairchild girl. She’s caused enough trouble already.” 

“Give me a break,” Clary grunted under her breath, and Izzy squeezed her shoulder.

“If the mission is important to the Clave, I would prefer to be the one to go…”

“I think I’ve had enough of what you would prefer, Alexander.” Maryse snapped. “I’ve made nothing but sacrifices and excuses for you, so I will not hear anymore about what you would prefer. Life is not about what you want to do, it is about what must be done. You’ve had everything you want, every whim, handed to the both of you on a plate for far too long and look at what you’ve done. I have given you your assignments and you will carry them out!” 

Clary stepped around Isabelle, lip curled with disgust. “I bet it’s been really tough for you, doing the bare fucking minimum to-”

Alec grabbed the redhead around the waist and marched off with her, leaving Izzy and her mother staring after the two of them. Maryse scoffed, and turned to her daughter. “I suppose you could’ve turned out worse.” 

Izzy swallowed the rage building in her throat and said nothing, glaring at the floor.

As soon as Alec and Clary were around the corner, he put her down. She immediately launched into a rant, her skinny pale arms waving and her eyes alight. 

“Who the fuck does she think she is, coming here and talking to her own kids that way! What an abusive manipulative fucking bitch! I swear to God, Alec, I’m gonna yank her ponytail so hard it rips off her goddamn scalp, I’ll…”

“Clary,” Alec sighed, putting both his hands on both of her shoulders. “You don’t understand.”

“I think I understand just fine!” Clary’s chest was heaving with outrage. “Why do you let her say those awful things to you? You don’t deserve that!”

Alec bit the inside of his cheek. “Deserve is a funny word.” 

That pulled Clary up short. Her shoulders eased, and Alec dropped his hands. “Do you think you deserve this treatment?”

“She has done a lot for me, Clary, most shadowhunters would have…”

“Alec, just because she doesn’t beat you or disown you doesn’t mean she’s a good Mom.” 

Alec sighed, scratching behind his ear. “You don’t get this world yet. It’s not like the mundane world, gays are barely a thing, let alone trans people. I have never heard of another trans shadowhunter, I’m probably the first one…” 

Clary’s lips were pursed. “You deserve all the love and support in the world, Alec.” 

“I’ve got Izzy.” Alec shrugged, looking away at the wood-panelled walls of the hallway. “I do okay.” 

“You don’t have to thank people for the bare minimum, Alec. You don’t owe people anything.” He could feel the sympathy in her gaze, and he turned away from her. 

“Listen, I need to go to bed,” Alec murmured, sweeping his hair back from his face, “let’s meet up tomorrow morning for training, okay? You’ve got a little anger to work out.”

“A little,” Clary huffed, “I was ready to rip her to pieces with my bare hands.” 

Alec snorted. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow. No sneaking out tonight, I mean it. I need to sleep, Clary.” 

“I won’t go anywhere tonight,” Clary promised, crossing her heart. “See you tomorrow.”

Alec lay awake for hours. It had been such a long day, he was beyond exhausted, and yet every time he closed his eyes he just saw the panic on his mother’s face when she laid eyes on his unrestrained chest. He disgusted her. He knew that, he’d always known that. Him being a man was preferable; it was preferable to have a son as the heir to the family, so Maryse and Robert had leaped at the opportunity to turn Alec into the perfect heir. They’d been pushing him to get surgery since he’d come out at seventeen.

He wasn’t ready. 

He’d been taught to hide his chest ever since he'd told his parents that he was trans, enduring pointed comments and strange looks when he decided to give his lungs a break, but since his parents had gone to Idris and left him and Izzy unsurpervised, he'd begun to slowly come to terms with the shape of his body. It was a work in progress; he still struggled to look at himself in a full length mirror, but lately he’d been trying not to wear his binder as much. The mundane nurse who gave him his shots, Catarina, was endlessly warning him about the dangers of wearing it for more than a few hours at a time. And people around the institute barely noticed, anyway. If they did, they didn’t care. They didn’t particularly like him, but they respected him enough for him to do his job and that was just fine.

It was fine. 

Alec breathed out heavily through his nose, willing himself not to cry. Men didn’t cry, dammit.

He was a man. 

All of a sudden, the memory of Magnus’ gentle touch leapt unbidden into his mind, the softly spoken acceptance he’d given Alec like it was no big deal. He could almost feel the warlock’s warm fingertips on his shoulder. 

He’d said that it made no difference to… What did he say? To his beauty, or his soul.

Magnus had thought he was beautiful. Even after he knew the truth. He wasn’t just putting up with it, he wasn’t pretending it wasn’t a thing. The gravity of Magnus’ voice had made it clear that he recognised how huge it was for Alec. Magnus had acknowledged that, but... It made no difference.

Alec sniffed, pulling the covers up over his head and curling his knees into his stomach, arms wrapping around his body. 

It made no difference.

He needed more people like that in his life.

The next morning, Clary came to Alec’s door just as he was getting ready for the day. His iratze had helped his ribs and lungs to recover overnight, but he chose a sports bra over his binder, just to be safe. As they walked off towards the training room, Alec opened his mouth to thank her for sticking up for him and Izzy yesterday, but he felt awkward. She herself said that Alec shouldn’t feel thankful for someone doing the bare minimum… So he stayed quiet. He admitted to himself, though, that Clary was a good match for Izzy, even if she was reckless and stupid sometimes. When they finally made it official, Alec had no doubt that their partnership would keep him on his toes forever.

Both of them stewed in silence as they entered the training room, and Clary picked up a staff. 

“Probably not a great idea to put a blade in my hand right now,” she shrugged when Alec raised an eyebrow at her. 

Alec chuckled and grabbed one for himself. “Have you been training much with Izzy?”

“A little,” Clary replied vaguely, holding out the staff to poke Alec gently in the side. “Come on, knock me on my ass. It’ll make you feel better.” 

His first instinct was to say that he was fine, but there wasn’t much point in lying, Clary wouldn’t have believed him even if he did mean it. “Don’t make me say you’re right about something,” Alec sniffed, a tiny smirk on his face. “Plant your feet wide.”

“So your Mom pays for your testosterone injections… And that’s why you have to be nice to her?” Clary said, raising her staff as Alec batted the end of his at her, blocking his attack.

Alec’s eyes examined her form, balance, strength with a critical eye. “Don’t step into the strike, step through it,” he suggested. “And yes, she does. She could stop my treatment at any minute and force me to live as a girl. Swallowing my pride for a few days every couple of months is worth it.”

“What does she have over Izzy?” 

Alec swung at her again, a little faster this time. Clary met it with an attack of her own, and their staffs locked between them. “Everything she does is to protect me. Most of the time she’s trying to placate them for me. It pisses me off,” he growled, “I’m supposed to protect her, I’m the big brother.” 

Clary smiled a little, though honestly she was struggling to hold her own with Alec pushing against her staff, trying to overpower her. “The two of you make a good team. Valentine wouldn’t stand a chance against the three of us together.” 

“Dammit, Clary,” Alec hissed, pulling back and stepping around in a circle, forcing Clary to wheel around too. “I thought we were getting along, here.”

“We are. Look, you need to find Valentine and stop him from making more shadowhunters. I need to find Valentine to save my Mom. We’re on the same side here. Think about how appreciative the Clave would be if you were the one who brought down Valentine, Alec. They would let you do what the fuck you wanted for the rest of your life. You wouldn’t need your parents anymore…”

Alec sighed, and launched into an attack. Clary blocked, made a couple of feeble hits and leaped at the chance he threw out to disarm him, but he quickly yanked her own staff from her and sent her flipping onto her back. She lay there for a moment, looking personally affronted. Alec couldn’t help but smile down at her. 

“You’re not ready. Not yet.” He told her, holding out his hand to help her up. “We are trying to find your mother. The Clave is…” 

“The Clave is doing fuck all and we both know it,” Clary sighed. “Look, I know you’re smart enough to get around these rules, we just need a lead. And I think I have one.”

Alec leaned on his staff. “What have you got?”

“Mom hid most things about my father and the shadow world from me, but there’s one thing I do remember. There’s this box, she hid it under her bed, and once a year she’d take it out and cry.” Clary explained, “when I asked her about it a few months ago she told me that it was private, that it belonged to my father. What if there’s something in that box that we could use to track him?”

Alec considered it. That was the best lead they had, though with his mother here he couldn’t risk going behind the Clave’s back. “I’ll put in a request for a mission to your old loft.”

“Alec, we can’t just-”

The both of them glanced up at the sound of Alec’s phone ringing where he’d put it down by the mirror. “Just give me a second…” He muttered, wandering over to pick up his phone. “Hello? Who is this?”

“Alexander. Hi.” 

Alec froze at the sound of Magnus’ voice, and he glanced at Clary out of the corner of his eye, fiddling with the end of the staff with his free hand. 

“It’s Magnus,” the warlock continued, “we met yesterday… You know, with the demon.” He sounded light, so Alec assumed that whatever he’d said yesterday to make Magnus tense up had been forgotten. 

“Uh, yeah…” Alec squirmed, turning away from Clary to look at himself in the mirror. He fixed his hair nervously, even though he knew Magnus couldn’t see him. “Yeah, hey, what’s up?”

“I was just thinking it was really nice getting to know you yesterday.” Had Magnus’ voice always sounded so… Purr-y? It made Alec’s ears turn pink. “You seem…” Alec winced as Magnus struggled for a word. “Sympathetic.”

Well, what the fuck did that mean? Alec chewed the inside of his cheek. 

“Would you like to go out for a drink sometime?” 

“That sounds fun,” Alec answered, eyes widening as he heard himself say the words. There was no doubt that it was the truth, but there was no way he could risk anything like that with his mother… “Uhhh… When?”

Where was his mother? Was Magnus still talking? Alec whirled around to check that Maryse wasn’t lurking somewhere listening to him. 

Clary was gone. 

“How about right now?” Magnus asked, and Alec’s heart leapt to his throat. 

“Umm… You know, now’s not really a good time for me,” he stuttered, “I gotta go.”

Alec almost dropped his phone in his haste to hang up, taking off through the institute to check Clary’s room. She was nowhere to be seen. Alec clenched his jaw, and went to grab his bow. He was gonna be in so much shit if the Clave found out he’d let her get away because he was flirting with Magnus. The High Warlock of Brooklyn. 

Fuck.

Of all the guys Alec had to go and get a crush on, it had to be maybe the Clave’s least favourite person in New York. And of course Magnus had to like him back, couldn’t just let Alec suffer in silence...

“I mean, what else?” Alec muttered bitterly to himself, slinging his quiver over his shoulder on his way out of the institute. 

Dammit, why did Magnus have to be so… Good?

It wasn’t difficult to find Clary; she hadn’t even been given a cloaking rune yet, for Christ’s sake. Alec clutched Clary’s pencil in his hand as he marched through the streets of New York, finally catching sight of her bright red hair outside a University building. He’d worked up a healthy dose of irritation on the way here, and it was only heightened when Clary’s phone started to ring, making the mundanes around her jump with fright.

“If you’re going to use an invisibility rune, at least turn off your phone,” he grumbled, standing behind her, and Clary huffed, not looking at him as she fished it out of her bag. “That was stupid, running off like that, anyone could’ve been tracking you…”

“Simon, hey!” Clary pressed her phone to her ear, and Alec rolled his eyes. He tried to get her to hang up as she and Simon rambled on trying to make each other feel better, but ultimately he couldn’t stop her from telling Simon where they were.

“Right, let’s go back to the institute. You can text Simon on the way, tell him not to bother coming.” Alec insisted.

Clary avoided his hand as it reached out to take her elbow. “No, we’re going to the loft. We may as well, it’s only a couple of blocks away. Aren’t you like the best archer in New York? Who’s gonna get past you, honestly?”

“Flattery won’t work on me,” Alec sighed, though he couldn’t help but fiddle with the bottom of his quiver, preening a little. “But I suppose you’re right. Let’s make it quick.” 

Clary smirked as she led the way towards the loft, noting for future reference that flattery definitely worked on Alec Lightwood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izzy had never been on a mission with her mother. At least, not without Alec or her father there, too. She couldn’t think of a worse mission to take her mother on, either. What could be worse than going to see your fuckbuddy with your racist mother to interrogate him? 

God, Izzy should’ve just stayed out all night with Clary. 

Both her and Maryse were silent as they walked up to Meliorn’s home from the portal, Izzy dressed more demure today to avoid any snide comments. Maryse’s eyes roamed over the gossamer curtains surrounding Meliorn’s rooms, pursing her lips. 

“Well, how on Earth are you meant to knock?” She whispered.

Izzy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “He would’ve heard us coming the second the portal opened, mother.”

“Maryse Lightwood.” Meliorn appeared through the opaque material, uncharacteristically on edge. “You are not welcome here.”

“I’m here on Clave business,” she said evenly, and Izzy sighed. So Maryse talked to downworlders like that, and yet she, Izzy, was to blame for the Seelies being offended. 

Izzy stepped around her mother and took Meliorn’s hands in hers. “Nothing too serious, I promise. We just need to know if there’s something that the Clave has done to upset your people. You know that I value our working relationship.”

Maryse barely concealed a scoff with a cough, and Izzy looked over her shoulder to glare at the older woman. 

“I appreciate your reaching out, Isabelle,” Meliorn smiled weakly at her, “but I can’t tell you anything.” 

Izzy sighed, imploring him with her eyes, but he turned away, pushing back through the gossamer curtains. “Stay here,” she told her mother, following the Seelie through to his rooms. “Cast a silencing spell,” Izzy murmured, and Meliorn looking meaningfully at the edge of the room.

“Alright. Why in Heaven’s name would you bring her here, Isabelle?” 

“I didn’t have a choice. Trust me, I want her here even less than you do.” Izzy grumbled. “I’m sorry if I did something to offend you, really. Is it because of the Hotel Du Mort?” 

Meliorn snorted. “Of course not. I promise you, it’s nothing you’ve done, primrose.” He promised, brushing her hair back from her face. 

“Then what is it?”

“It’s not something that can be undone.” Meliorn looked mournfully at the curtains around his bed, fingers playing across the small butterflies sewn into the fabric. 

Izzy’s brow furrowed slightly, realising that the butterflies hadn’t been there before. “Butterflies,” she murmured, her stomach dropping. “Someone’s died. You’re in mourning.”

Meliorn sighed softly. Isabelle cupped his face in her hands. They looked at each other for a moment, sorrow in the Seelie’s sharp eyes, reflected with sympathy in the shadowhunter’s. 

“The scouts were lost to Valentine,” he admitted, taking her wrists in his hands. “There’s nothing that the Clave can do about that.” 

“No, I suppose not.” Izzy murmured, dropping her hands. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Meliorn. Really.” 

Meliorn glanced past Izzy’s shoulder at the shape of her mother, lingering outside. “You should go. If the Seelie Queen gets wind of Maryse Lightwood in her realm, she won’t be happy.” 

“Why do Downworlders hate her specifically?” Izzy asked, and Meliorn smirked at her. “I mean, aside from the obvious. Is she really that famous?”

“It’s not my place to tell you your family history, primrose,” Meliorn sighed, stepping away from her. “Go. I’ll see you again soon, I’m sure.” 

Izzy knew better than to press him; he’d already volunteered more information than she’d expected him to. With a soft kiss on his cheek, she let him be, and rejoined her mother outside. 

“Was the kiss really necessary, Isabelle?” She asked coldly, turning on her heel and heading back towards the portal.

“Yes, actually. I was comforting my friend.” 

Maryse frowned as she stepped through the portal, turning to face her daughter as they landed back outside the institute. “Comforting?”

“The Seelie scouts were lost to Valentine. The Fair Folk are in mourning.” Izzy explained. “That’s why they haven’t been in touch with the Clave.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Maryse nodded, “I should report this to the Clave.” 

Without another word, she rushed off into the office. 

Izzy sighed, and folded her arms. “Always a pleasure, mother,” she muttered under her breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, you.” Clary rushed forward to hug Simon as she and Alec rounded the corner, and Alec used the opportunity to check the area, eyes flicking over every inch of their surroundings for anything untoward. They were standing in a shitty graffitied alleyway in the back streets of Brooklyn. It sort of made sense that Clary was brought up here; it at least explained the fact that she never backed down from a fight. 

“You don’t need to do this alone.” Simon’s words made Alec snap out of his reverie, and he wondered what exactly the two of them had faced together to bring them so close. It wasn’t like they were related. “It’s not who we are.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Clary checked, holding Simon’s arms firmly as she gave him a thorough check-over with her eyes. 

Alec sniffed. “You look fine, Simon.” 

“Thanks,” Simon beamed, like Alec had just gushed over every inch of him, and Alec couldn’t help but snort. 

“Come on, let’s move. We shouldn’t stay in one place for too long. The Circle could be on us any second.” Alec pointed out.

Simon patted Alec’s shoulder, having to raise his arm rather ridiculously in order to reach. “I promise you, no-one’s gonna find this shortcut. Clary and me are the only people in the whole world that knows it exists. You might know the shadow world, but me and Clary know Brooklyn.” He grinned wickedly at Clary, who smirked a little at the memories the two of them shared here. “Come on,” he huffed, running at a tall wall behind him and more or less leaping over it.

Alec froze, eyebrow quirking. Since when did Simon have that kind of athleticism? Clary looked surprised too, but shrugged it off quickly and followed.

“So,” Alec sighed, giving Clary a leg-up to get over the wall. “You lived in this neighborhood all your life?” 

“As far as I know, yeah. It’s… A little weird being back, honestly. The institute feels sort of like home to me now. Is that weird?” She asked, dropping down and waiting for Alec on the other side.

“Yes,” Alec and Simon answered at the same time. 

“You could have stayed with me, Fray, you know that.” Simon shrugged.

Alec smiled slightly. “I’m surprised because it’s not like we’ve made it particularly easy for you to settle in.” 

Clary rolled her eyes, leading the way for the two men to follow. “I’m doing fine.”

“You have gotten a lot better at this,” Simon noticed, climbing the fire escape behind her. 

Clary smiled. “I was going to say the same thing about you, Mr High Jump. Have you been doing parkour or something?” 

Simon just snorted, putting his hands on his hips when they reached the top. 

“Are you two really excited at the prospect of climbing a fire escape?” Alec asked, checking their surroundings from the new, higher vantage point. “Mundanes are wild.” 

“Don’t be a prick, Alec,” Clary tutted, playfully shoving him with her shoulder as he passed her. He was about to snap at her, then realised she was kidding with him, her green eyes fond as he looked back at her.

Playful ribbing. Right. 

“What the hell is this?” Simon asked, coming to a dead stop.

The entire outside of the loft was covered in runes and warlock wards. Alec stepped around Simon and looked into the mundane’s face, frowning deeply. 

“You can see this?” He asked, narrowing his eyes a little. “Since when do you have the sight?”

“Well, they’re kinda hard to miss.” Simon snorted, folding his arms. 

Alec frowned. “For a shadowhunter… You shouldn’t be able to see them.”

Clary looked, confused, between the two men, eyes flicking over Simon over and over. There was something a little different about him; he looked… Comfortable. He didn’t have his usual anxious vibration, and… That, ironically, made Clary anxious. 

“I can see that whoever drew these could take lessons from Clary; they’re pretty messy. Oh, look…” Simon chuckled, putting his fingers against the wall. There was a faded love heart, drawn on with spray paint, with the letters CF + SL painted in on top. “This is from when Clary and I were engaged to be married.”

“I’m almost sure I don’t want to hear this story,” Alec grumbled, eyes flicking from the door to the bushes behind them. 

“We were eight years old,” Simon sighed, looking at Clary like a lovesick puppy. Alec sighed.

“Seems like a lifetime ago,” Clary nodded. After a more than sufficient amount of awkward, sexually tense silence, Clary reached for the doorknob, and tugged ineffectually at it a few times. 

Simon walked over to her, rubbing his palms together. “Let me try.”

With a sharp yank from Simon, the door came almost completely off its hinges, and Clary and Alec glanced at each other curiously. Clary went in first, and Alec brought up the rear. The loft was almost totally destroyed by fire, and Clary’s heart felt heavy as she looked around at the charred remains of her childhood home. On the floor amongst the ashes was the picture of the fake father that her mother had dreamed up for her, and she picked it up, annoyance rising in her like a wave. How could Jocelyn have lied to her for so long?

“There’s nothing left of me here,” Clary murmured, tossing the portrait aside. 

“Of course not,” Alec replied, “she was trying to destroy everything that belonged to you so that the Circle couldn’t track you. It was to keep you safe.”

Clary scoffed. “Fat lot of good it did me.”

“You’re alive, aren’t you?” Alec pointed out, his eyes falling on where Simon was swaying on the balls of his feet. “What are you doing?”

“The floor sounds different here, it’s weird.” 

Alec rolled his eyes. “It’s hollow, genius. There’s something down there. Let me see,” he crouched next to Simon’s feet, and lifted up the floorboard.

“What do you see, Alec?” Clary asked, watching as the older shadowhunter reached down into the hole, pulling out an old, dusty box with a slanted lid. “That’s it!”

“What does JC stand for?” Alec asked, handing it to Clary.

The redhead ran her fingers reverently over the metal letters, sucking her lower lip into her mouth. “She told me that my father’s name was Jonathan Clarke,” she explained, “so I always assumed it belonged to him.”

“Well, let’s open it,” Simon urged, putting his hand on Clary’s shoulder. She checked Alec’s face for advice, and Alec shrugged. Her fingers twisted the clasp and lifted the lid, her eyebrow arching as she took in the contents of the box.

A baby bootie was the first thing she noticed, but as she opened her mouth to say that she didn’t recognise it, there was a crash outside. Alec jumped to attention, pushing between Clary and Simon to position himself in front of them, lifting his bow. 

“There’s someone here. Get what you need,” he ordered, pointing sternly at Clary, “and do not move until I get back. We’ve been here too long.” 

With that, he disappeared back down the fire escape, notching an arrow as he went. 

“He seems a little less pissy today,” Simon observed, “actually almost gave me a compliment back there, I was the definition of shook.” 

Clary snorted. “We sort of understand each other a little better now. He’s a sweet dude, secretly, and he’s been through a lot. I met his Mom, she was fucking awful.”

“Figures,” Simon sighed, folding his arms. “You don’t get that guarded without one or both parents being fuck-ups. How’s Izzy?” 

“She’s… Good.” 

Simon chewed on his lower lip. “Are you two, you know… A thing?” 

The shadowhunter felt her cheeks go a little pink. 

“She is fucking beautiful, it’s not a stretch to assume that you’d have a crush on her, Fray.” Simon shrugged, “in fact, I’d be kinda judging you a little if you didn’t have a crush on her.”

“We’re seeing what happens. With her Mom here, she’s really tense and… You know, pretending to be straight.” Clary explained. She turned to look as she heard a creak coming from the front door.

“Hands up! You’re under arrest!” Alaric swung around the corner, gun pointed at Simon. He almost looked apologetic, but his hand on the firearm didn’t waver in the slightest. “You’re breaking and entering. You’re coming with us.” 

Clary glanced from Alaric to the other men. She didn’t recognise them, and she’d been to enough ‘bring your daughter to work’ days at the station to know that they weren’t cops. “This is my apartment.” 

“Come on, Clary, I have to take you in, I don’t have a choice.” Alaric insisted. 

“They have guns, Clary,” Simon warned her, hands already up in the air. “Luke’ll have all this sorted in a heartbeat.”

Clary gulped at the sound of his name, slowly raising her hands. Luke had betrayed her, he’d just used Clary and her Mom to get to the cup, all these years. She sniffed as Alaric handcuffed both her and Simon, eyes hardening.

She at least owed Luke a kick in the balls.

Alec skidded to a halt across the road just as the unmarked police car pulled away, and his lungs froze in his chest. He’d lost her, he’d lost the one person who could find the mortal cup and stop Valentine. Alec’s hands trembled as he dug his phone from his pocket, racing back up to the apartment as he dialled Izzy’s number.

“What’s up, big brother?” She asked, her voice soothing Alec down from the verge of panic at least a little. 

“Clary snuck out when I wasn’t looking. We came to the loft to get something to find the cup, and someone took her. Cops, I think. It was an unmarked car.” He explained, his anxiety skyrocketing as he said it out loud. How could he have been so stupid?

Izzy was quiet for a moment, her breaths getting heavier. “I’m on my way. Stay calm, we’ll find her. Try and find something…”

“To track her, yeah. I’m on it.” Alec replied, unsurprised when the phone went dead.

He was so dead.

“How did a bunch of cops get past you?” Izzy asked ten minutes later, panting as she entered the room. 

Alec tugged on his hair, eyes wild as he looked around the room for something, anything that wasn’t burned. “I don’t fucking know! They… I don’t know, I swear I thought I saw a wolf, but I can’t confirm it. Why would werewolves work with the mundie cops, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s alright.” Izzy said, looking away from Alec for a moment. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Please yell at me.”

“I’m not gonna yell at you, that won’t get Clary back. Come on, try this,” Izzy urged, not making eye contact with the older sibling as she snatched up a charred drawing. 

Alec swallowed hard as the crumpled it between their hands, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to see the restrained irritation in his sister’s face. It had been his entire job to look after Clary. Keep track of one barely trained shadowhunter; how could he have failed to do that?

“Alec, concentrate on Clay, I can hear you thinking from here,” Izzy snapped, and Alec licked his lips.

“This isn’t working,” he pointed out, “it’s too burned.”

“Fuck!” Izzy hissed, tossing the drawing aside. 

Alec ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t have an excuse, Iz, they shouldn’t have been able to get past me.” 

“Alec! Stop doing that! This isn’t about you right now!” Izzy hissed, “we have to think where the wolves would’ve taken her. Focus on Clary, that’s what matters right now. I’m not mad at you.”

They both knew it was a lie. 

“I don’t want to be mad at you,” she amended, and Alec bit the inside of his cheek. He could believe that, at least.

 

“This isn’t the police station,” Clary said quietly as the car pulled up outside a shitty chinese restaurant. Breathing deep, she tried to collect herself, willing herself not to panic. At least she had Simon with her, she told herself. They’d protect each other, they always had.

“We didn’t do anything wrong,” Simon murmured, looking like he was about to pass out or vomit. He’d never so much as gotten a caution before. 

“Luke’s calling,” Alaric told one of the strangers. 

“Where is Luke? I know you’re not a cop,” Clary warned him, but he barely batted an eye.

“Ignore him,” the stranger ordered, and Simon swallowed hard.

The cops evidently were not in charge here.

“Why do I keep getting kidnapped?” Simon hissed as the two of them were marched into the chinese restaurant, Alaric keeping one hand on each of them and guiding them into a booth opposite the apparent leader. 

“Not to be self centred but I think it’s me they’re after,” Clary replied grimly, resting her elbows on the table. “Alaric, what the hell is going on? You can’t arrest me for breaking and entering in my own apartment!”

“Don’t you worry about that right now. Luke is after you and I know you’re scared, so why don’t you just tell us where the mortal cup is?” Alaric suggested. “We’re just here to talk.”

“Do you always handcuff people you wanna talk to?” Simon snapped, and the leader leaned forward, looking into Simon’s face.

“I like this one. He’s funny.”

“I have no idea where the cup is,” Clary insisted, “everyone thinks I do but my Mom never told me, I didn’t even know that shadowhunters existed until a few days ago.” 

Alaric looked at her imploringly. “Please, think, Clary. I’m trying to help you.” 

“I don’t know anything, Alaric!” 

A fork came thumping down onto the table, embedding itself into the wood right next to Clary’s hand. “Playtime’s over,” the leader snarled, looking between Clary and Simon with sharp eyes. 

“Theo, let me talk some sense into them. They’re good kids, they don’t know…”

“No,” Theo answered, and Alaric swallowed hard. “We did it your way, let’s see if my way works a little better.” He raised his hand and waved someone forwards. Whoever it was dragged Simon off the chair. “Tell me where the cup is or your little mundie pet dies.” 

“N-no, don’t hurt him, I don’t know where the cup is, I swear!” Clary insisted.

“Hey, hey, let go of me,” Simon grunted, squirming a little in the grip of Theo’s minion. 

“That’s too bad,” Theo sighed, raising his eyes to the man holding Simon. “Get rid of him.” 

Clary yelped in distress, spinning around in her chair to watch helplessly as Simon was dragged kicking and spluttering back into the kitchen. Theo followed, smirking a little at Clary as he passed. Simon’s yelling faded to nothing, and Clary whimpered, looking desperately at Alaric, who just looked down at the table.

“This isn’t right,” Clary hissed, blinking tears out of her eyes, “I don’t know where the cup is, and you know I’d give it up to save Simon if I could.” 

“I’m not the pack leader, I can’t do anything,” he murmured, straightening up as Theo came back into the room, rubbing his hands together. 

“Please tell me you haven’t hurt Simon,” Clary begged. 

Theo shrugged. “He’s alive for now. But if you don’t tell us where the cup is, I’m going to introduce him to Gretel, here. She’s one of our fiercest warriors.”

A huge, grey wolf stepped out from between two tables, and Clary’s heart leaped into her throat. It growled at her, muzzle pulled back over its long, gleaming teeth. It was too big to be a regular wolf, and there was no way that a wolf that thirsty for a fight would be idling like that next to her.

“You’re werewolves,” Clary whispered, looking Theo up and down. 

“Obviously,” Theo snorted. “And your friend is kibble if you don’t give us the cup.”

Clary’s eyes darted from Gretel to Alaric, who looked about as nervous as Clary felt. “Alright, alright. You win. I’ll tell you where the cup is as soon as you let Simon go.”

“The cup first,” Theo insisted. 

“It’s in the loft where you found me, under a loose floorboard. My Mom didn’t know that I knew. Now please, let him go.” 

Alaric squeezed his eyes shut, chewing on the inside of his lip. 

“Go and get the cup,” Theo ordered the man who’d grabbed Simon before, and crouched down in front of Clary. “If you’re lying, I will make you watch as I rip your friend apart myself. Got it?”

Clary swallowed hard, looking down at her knees and praying to whatever angels were up there that Alec and Izzy would find them soon. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“If the tracking rune isn’t working, they must be over a body of water,” Alec offered, pacing back and forth in the alleyway.

Izzy nodded, hands on her hips as she paced in the opposite direction. “The wolves wouldn’t be on a boat, though. It would make it difficult for them to come back to land to go to work.”

“Werewolves have mundane jobs?” 

Just then, they heard a ringing. Both their heads whipped around to look at Clary’s backpack, and Izzy dived towards it, digging through the bag and fishing out the phone. 

“Clary?” Izzy asked, running her hand through her hair, pushing it from her face. 

“No, but Christ am I glad to hear your voice,” Simon gasped, and Izzy breathed a sigh of relief. “They’re freaking werewolves, Iz! They’re gonna kill Clary if they don’t get the cup.”

“We know. Where are you? Alec and I are gonna come and get you.” 

“Uhhh…” There was a shuffling sound. “In a Chinese restaurant, somewhere by the docks. I should’ve looked at the sign, fuck, I always say during Criminals Minds that it’s dumb that people don’t pay attention to there things, and here I am…”

“Simon!” Izzy barked, “calm down. Tell us what you see.”

More shuffling. Simon was muttering to himself, and Alec squinted his eyes like that would help him hear better. “Oh, oh! I found a menu! It’s the Jade Wolf!” 

“Got it, we’ll be right there,” Alec promised, bringing up a map on his own phone. 

“Hurry, they could be doing anything to her right now!”

“Create a diversion, Simon, start a fire or something.” Izzy urged him, setting off in the direction of the docks. 

“That never works, have you ever seen an action movie?!”

The line was already dead. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec and Izzy stopped dead in their tracks as they heard Clary shrieking, her foul-mouthed tirade unmistakable. Izzy lightly pushed Alec in that direction.

“You get Clary, I’ll get Simon!” Izzy yelled as she broke into a run towards the restaurant.

Alec nodded and sprinted off towards the shipping containers, following the sound of Clary ranting at someone until he reached an open container. Clary was being carried over a man’s shoulder, and Alec launched at him, punching him out cold. He caught Clary as she fell and breathed a sigh of relief as she shrugged out of his hold, legs struggling to touch the ground. 

“Thanks,” Clary panted, and Alec shrugged.

“He won’t stay down for long, we need to go,” he pointed out, grasping Clary’s wrist and dragging her back towards the restaurant. They made it to Izzy and Simon no problem, but the moment they reached them, Alec could tell they were outnumbered. Izzy was looking around into the darkness, flicking her whip nervously at her side, and Simon was shielded behind her. Clary almost tackled Simon to the ground with the force of her hug, and the two squeezed at each other desperately. 

“This reunion is cute but we have like a dozen werewolves coming to rip us apart so we need to get out of here,” Izzy urged, catching Simon’s elbow. 

Clary grabbed Alec’s wrist. “The box, the backpack, I left it at the loft.”

“I’ve got it, I didn’t lose absolutely everything,” he assured her, eyes sweeping the area. Wolves crept out of the shadows all around them, and Alec slowly drew an arrow from its quiver. “Everyone be still. Don’t make any fast moves. We’re surrounded.”

“Everyone stay together.” Izzy urged.

“I am not going anywhere, trust me,” Simon muttered, clinging onto the side of Alec’s shirt with trembling fingers. 

The door of the Jade Wolf swung open and a black wolf, larger than the rest, came padding through the door, eyes glinting in the light and fixed right on Clary. The alpha. Alec stepped back a couple of paces, pulling the others with him. He’d never actually fought werewolves before, and the Accords kept flying through his mind, and he tried to put the consequences of their actions here out of his brain. 

“Alec, behind!” Clary yelled, and Alec raised his bow as a wolf leapt over them. He didn’t shoot, wanting to wait until the werewolf made the first attack, but it didn’t go for them. It headed straight for the alpha. The force of the other wolf’s leap sent the alpha rolling back between some big storage boxes, and sounds of fighting filled the air, snarling and snapping and tearing. Simon gagged a little, and Alec absently petted him on the top of his head, eyes trained on where the alpha and the rebel wolf had disappeared. 

The other wolves watched carefully, poised, waiting to see which wolf won the battle. Eventually, a final snarl echoed through the dock, and the rebel wolf limped out from behind the boxes, standing on two feet and transforming into the man who’d been carrying Clary earlier. 

“Luke!” She yelled, rushing towards him. 

“Clary, wait,” Izzy stopped her, “he just killed his alpha, he has to show strength.” They glanced up at the waiting pack, and sure enough the transformed one by one, kneeling in a display of respect to Luke, their new alpha. “Looks like your friend’s the leader of the pack now.”

Luke stepped towards them, and Izzy adjusted her grip on Clary like she was gonna push the redhead behind her, but Clary shook her head. 

“It’s okay.” She stepped around Izzy and walked over to Luke, feeling a little sheepish. How could she ever have doubted him?

“I promised your mother I’d always protect you,” he told her, “I had to lie to those circle members or they would’ve used me as bait to get you.”

“I know,” she mumbled, and reached out to hug him, but he collapsed.

Izzy ran forwards as Clary grabbed at him, and Alec caught her elbow. 

“Iz, we need to get Clary back to the institute. If Mom finds out that we got involved with an alpha dispute, we’ll be in huge trouble.” Alec warned her, looking between Clary and Luke.

“If we don’t help Luke, we’ll be allowed a downworlder leader to die. And there are a literal pack of witnesses. We have to help him.” She pointed out, and Alec groaned softly. She was right. They were doomed if they did, and doomed if they didn’t. They may as well save a man’s life in the process. 

“Fine,” Alec agreed, “but I need to get back to the institute to cover for her.”

Izzy looked between Clary, Simon and Luke. “I’ll come too. Simon can drive them to Magnus’. The less shadowhunters involved in his recovery, the better. Let me go and tell Clary.”

Alec nodded, hanging back as Izzy went to explain to Izzy what the plan was. He looked over the wolves watching solemnly as their new leader was bundled into a car, and sighed to himself.

He’d barely spoken to a downworlder civilian before Clary showed up in their lives, and now in less than a week he’d infiltrated a vampire’s lair, gotten mixed up in werewolf politics and fallen halfway in love with a warlock. 

Alec’s lips twitched despite himself at the thought of Magnus. He should call him back, later. Ask his Mom when she was leaving and make a date with Magnus the very next day. He wondered if Magnus would take Alec to his own club. At least the drinks would be free there. Izzy rejoined him, leaning into his side, and they watched as Simon started the car and pulled away.

“I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, Luke,” Clary sniffed, cupping the werewolf’s face in her hands. 

“Sorry we lied to you,” he mumbled, eyes slipping closed.

“No, no, don’t leave me again,” she begged, lower lip trembling, “I can’t have anyone else die because of me.” Luke’s head fell into the crook of her neck, unconscious, and she burst into tears.


	6. Episode 6: Of Men and Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings for this chapter are a lot more intense than the last. 
> 
> CW FOR MILD CANON-TYPICAL RACISM: Maryse berates Izzy for having a relationship with Meliorn because he's a Seelie.
> 
> CW FOR TRANSPHOBIA: There is awful transphobic rhetoric from Maryse in a section of this chapter, and I've marked it so that the trans folk reading can skip it if they feel the need to! She tries to pressure Alec into having surgery that he doesn't want to get. Additionally, in the conversation between her and Izzy early in the chapter, she refers to Alec's transness as his 'condition'.
> 
> CW FOR EMETOPHOBIA: Alec vomits during an anxiety attack. It's not described graphically.
> 
> CW FOR INTERNALISED TRANSPHOBIA: Alec thinks of himself as 'not a real man' in one instance.
> 
> Alright, now that I've warned you all about the nastier parts of this chapter - there is a very fluffy scene between Malec at the end of the chapter! I skipped over the exposition about Valentine's backstory, because we've all seen the show already, I didn't feel the need to regurgitate it again!

Magnus caught himself wondering what Alexander was doing, right as he slipped the last of the eight necklaces he’d chosen over his head. 

Was he on a mission? Was he on the cusp of catching Valentine? Was he doing something boring like bow maintenance? Did bows needs maintenance? He really needed to learn more about bows. Think of some bow innuendos. 

“Think of me when you shoot your arrows,” Magnus purred into the mirror, giggling at the ridiculousness of it and knowing instantly that it would make Alec blush.

Yes.

Perfect.

He was due at Pandemonium in about half an hour; he’d been neglecting the club since the Circle had risen again, and he really wasn’t sure that Raphael was checking up on it as often as he said he was. So, Magnus was getting ready, nursing a whiskey between brushes of eyeshadow. And yet his mind kept wandering back to a certain tall, dark and handsome shadowhunter.

Maybe Alec was thinking about him too.

Magnus tamped down on that frisson of hope as soon as it floated into his consciousness, putting his glass down on the desk a little harder than perhaps necessary. He couldn’t afford to allow Alec to get in his head; he’d seemed sweet, yes, but he was still a shadowhunter. Catarina and he had pacts for this sort of thing; no white men, no surgeons, no ABBA fans, no shadowhunters. And Alec was two out of four of those things.

Oh God, what if Alec liked ABBA?

Wait, was Alec old enough to know who ABBA were?

Magnus groaned out loud, and massaged his temple. How long had it been since ABBA? 

Luckily, he didn’t get a chance to make himself feel ancient, because there was a violent rap on the door. Magnus crossed the apartment quickly, trying not to think about what awful news was about to be delivered. He did not expect to see Clary with a mundane, holding up Luke Garroway between them. 

“Come in,” Magnus turned on his heel, leading them into the apartment and magicking his potion table into the living room. “What happened?” 

“He was attacked,” the mundane said, staggering under Luke’s weight. 

The two teenagers managed to get Luke over to the sofa, Clary spinning around to face Magnus as Simon got Luke situated. “He needs a warlock, he needs you. We can’t pay you, and I know that you-”

“It’s fine. I’m not about to let Luke die,” Magnus insisted, kneeling down next to the groaning werewolf. “We’ve known each other a very long time.”

“Where are you?” Luke moaned, eyes squeezed shut. 

“What actually happened to him? Is this an alpha’s bite?” Magnus demanded, eyes darting all over Luke’s mauled body. 

Clary nodded, gripping tightly onto Luke’s hand. “He killed the alpha but he got pretty badly hurt.”

“He killed the alpha?!” Magnus’ eyes went wide. “Why on Earth would he do that?”

“The alpha was trying to kill us,” the mundane answered. “Simon, by the way, nice to meet you.”

“Magnus,” he nodded, hands glowing as he started to push magic into the werewolf’s body, hoping to fix some of the slashes to stop the bleeding, “and honestly, good riddance. Theo was a sociopath. He always insisted on bringing-”

“Jocelyn!” Luke cried out, eyes springing open and fixing on Clary. “Listen… You have to listen to me. I have to tell you, just in case.” 

“Uhhh… Simon, get back. He’s about to-”

Luke surged forward, eyes glowing green as he let out a pained, animalistic growl. Magnus got up and started scurrying around his potion table, cursing under his breath when he realised that some of the ingredients he needed were out of stock.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Simon demanded, following Magnus with his eyes. 

“Nowhere; hold him down.” Magnus came back with a piece of wood between his fingers, and shoved it between Luke’s teeth. “This’ll stop the random transformations, but we don’t have much time.”

He jogged back over to the potions table and started mixing things together, knowing the base potion would have to brew for a while before adding the final, missing, ingredients. He listened as Clary lamented with Simon the Mundane, and Magnus wondered not for the first time why Luke had never actually pulled his finger out of his ass and asked Jocelyn to marry him. He was clearly cherished by both Jocelyn and Clary. He shook his head, carefully stirring the ingredients together. 

“I get a good vibe from this Magnus guy, he seems like he knows what he’s doing,” said Simon the Mundane, and Magnus hurried past him, clutching a pestle and mortar. 

“The bark will stop the transformation for now,” he explained, “but Luke needs an antidote to stop the poison in his system.” He set the pestle and mortar down and turned to face Simon and Clary. “But I don’t have all the ingredients here.”

“Just tell us what to get and where to get it,” Clary pressed, bouncing impatiently on the balls of her feet.

Magnus hurried around them, grabbing jars scattered around the apartment. He’d need to save his magic for later. “No, you need to stay here, Luke will need you if he wakes up. You’ll keep him anchored to his humanity.”

“I’ll go,” Simon volunteered.

“You’ll need a shadowhunter or a downworlder, you can’t get phoenix eyes in your local pharmacy.” Magnus snorted. “I’ll call Isabelle.”

“You have Izzy’s number?” Clary asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Magnus shrugged. “It’s nothing like what you’re imagining, Biscuit. Isabelle and I have… A lot to discuss.” He explained. “Alec things.”

“Right,” Clary sighed, looking back down at Luke’s face. “Yeah, Izzy’ll help, but she said she had to deal with her Mom first…”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Isabelle, you need to break off your relationship with the Seelie.” Maryse didn’t even wait until she was fully into the room, and Izzy sighed, turning away from the mirror. “You seem to trust his word, and that worries me.”

“Seelies can’t lie!” Izzy pointed out.

Maryse pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, they can’t, and as a result they find much more creative ways to stab you in the back!” She looked her daughter up and down. “Though I suppose you find that attractive.”

“What does it matter to you what I find attractive?” She snapped, her jaw tightening. 

“It matters because you are almost twenty-two and you have yet to begin courting. How are your father and I supposed to find you a decent match when all Idris knows about you is that you share your bed with a Seelie Knight?” Maryse hissed, her jaw tightening in much the same way. 

Izzy shook her head a little. “You all talk like we’re better than mundanes and downworlders, but the shadowhunters can’t even cope with a woman enjoying sex-”

“You can enjoy as much sex as you want, Isabelle. Just not with spies from the Seelie realm!” Maryse insisted hotly, “you… You have been spending too much time with the Fairchild girl. These sound like her ideas to me. You know how important it is that you find a good match, given Alec’s condition.” 

“Would you stop calling it that?!” Izzy shouted, surprising herself as much as she surprised her mother. “You know how shitty that makes him feel, when you talk about him like that? Have you looked at him lately?! He looks like he’s dying whenever you make him wear that stupid binder, he passed out on a fucking mission the other day!”

Maryse wasn’t listening, pacing back and forth with her hands on her hips. “It was a mistake to allow you and Alec to live separately from us. You were always passionate, but this is just...” 

“Oh, fuck off, Mom.” Izzy spat. “What do you want to hear? Do you want me to stop dressing like a slut? Is that what you really wanna ask?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Isabelle. All I’m trying to explain to you is that if you don’t find a good husband, Alec will be forced to marry to maintain our family’s position. Chances are, the Clave would make him marry a man. They’d make him live as a woman again. Do you want that for your brother?” 

Izzy clenched her jaw. She knew full well that Alec would rather marry a man, but her eyes filled with tears at the thought of their parents cutting off support for Alec’s transition.

“That’s what I thought.” Maryse’s chest was still heaving with outrage. “I just want what’s best for the both of you.” 

“Bullshit,” Izzy whispered, “you just want to protect your precious reputation.” 

“My reputation is your reputation. And if you and Alec want to make a difference to protect your downworlder friends, you’re going to need a good reputation with the Clave. And the way the two of you have been conducting yourselves has left them wondering if they can trust any of us.”

Izzy’s shoulders dropped, and she looked down at her feet. 

Maryse sighed loudly, smoothing back some hairs that had fallen out of place. “You know it makes sense, Isabelle. Think about what I’ve said.” She ran her hand down Izzy’s bicep, and swept out of the room.

Izzy’s lip wobbled as the door clicked shut, but she refused to cry. Woodenly, she went over to her desk and sent a fire message to Meliorn, telling him that they couldn’t see each other anymore. Though she didn’t dare mention her mother, she hoped that Meliorn would put two and two together to understand why she wasn’t going to be sleeping with him anymore. 

He wouldn’t like it, she knew that. But she also knew that he would understand. Clary, on the other hand… Izzy had no idea how she was supposed to explain it so that Clary wouldn’t lose her temper. She already despised Maryse; if she knew just how fucked up Shadowhunter society was, she’d disappear. And then what?

As she was staring into space thinking over strategies, her phone rang, and she lifted it to her ear without glancing down at the screen. “Hello?”

“Ah, Isabelle, hello. It’s Magnus.”

Izzy’s vision adjusted back into focus, and she frowned. “Is Luke alright?”

“Well, it’s a work in progress. I need your help to get some ingredients for a potion to heal him.” Magnus explained, “Simon is eager to help but obviously he doesn’t know where to find some of these things…”

“Of course, yeah. I’ll come to the loft.” 

“There isn’t enough time; can you meet Simon at the apothecary on 4th? I’ll give him a shopping list.”

Izzy grabbed her stele, shoving it into her back pocket. “Yep, got it. Thank you for this, Magnus.”

“Oh! One more thing. I need your brother.” 

“What do you need Alec for?” Izzy asked, reluctant to involve him. He didn’t need to get caught up in this…

“Virgin shadowhunter energy…” 

Izzy narrowed her eyes. “How do you know he’s a virgin?”

There was a beat of silence.

“The point is I need him here,” Magnus urged, “I don’t know how long my magic will last, and…”

Izzy smiled, rolling her eyes a little. “If you want to spend time with him you could just ask.” She was halfway to Alec’s room at this point, keeping an eye out for her mother still prowling around. 

Magnus grumbled a little. “He’s playing hard to get.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Izzy snorted, “Alec’s just emotionally constipated. He’s into you, though. I promise.”

“Oh… Hell, Luke just woke up. I gotta go.” 

“I’ll be as quick as I can, I promise,” Izzy murmured, before hanging up and knocking on Alec’s door. 

Alec looked relieved to see her. “I thought you were Mom coming to give me another lecture,” he muttered, wandering back into his room, “come in if you want.”

“Mom’s on rare form today, huh…”

“Clary was so fucking mad,” Alec chuckled, hands on his hips. “She’s a good kid. I, uh… It was nice of her to try and stick up for me, I appreciated it. But if you tell her I said that I will deny it.”

Izzy smiled, but as she remembered that she had to put a stop to whatever it was that was going on with Clary, it faded, and she just looked at her feet. “I just got a call from Magnus. He was asking for you, something about…” She couldn’t keep the smirk from her face, “virgin shadowhunter energy.”

Alec balked. “How does he know I’m a virgin?!” He demanded.

“It’s just an excuse to see you again, Alec. Go to him. He really does need your strength, he said that his magic was running low.” That may have been twisting the truth a little, but…

“No welcome home for your old man?” The elder Lightwood siblings both looked up to see their father standing in the doorway, their younger brother standing in front of him. Alec’s face lit up.

“Max!” Alec bent down for Max to give him a hug, squeezing the boy tightly. He’d gotten taller, Alec noted, and his grip had gotten stronger, too. It had been six months since they’d seen each other, but it felt like yesterday. 

“Daddy!” Izzy gave their father a hug, relief washing through her at the sight of him. He’d always been good at tempering Maryse. He wasn’t exactly not-racist or not-transphobic, but he was less vigilant about the family image than their mother. “Umm, I have to be somewhere,” she explained, but I’ll catch up with you tomorrow?”

“Date with Meliorn?” He asked, voice casual but eyes probing. She rolled her eyes.

“Patrol, actually,” she lied, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll see you in the morning. Bye, Max!” 

“See you later, Izzy,” Max replied, still clinging to Alec. “I missed you.” 

Alec smiled, patting his shoulder. “I missed you too, buddy. But it hasn’t been that long, what are you doing here?”

“Maxwell got into trouble at the Mumbai Institute.” Alec looked up at his father, and gave his brother a mischievous look. 

“What did you do?”

Max was clearly trying to repress a smirk. “I accidentally set the classroom on fire.”

Enchanted, Alec laughed. “How?”

“I was hungry! I was trying to draw the nourishment rune!”

“Those two runes look nothing alike, Max,” Alec pointed out, the two brothers mirroring expressions of restrained glee. Robert couldn’t believe how alike they were, sometimes. 

“Well, they do to me.”

“Max,” Robert pressed, “go up to your room, open the grey book, and look up the Extinguish rune. I need to talk to Alexander.”

Uh oh, Alec thought. The full name.

“What it it, Dad?” Alec asked, straightening up and schooling his expression into something a little more businesslike. 

“Where is Clary Fairchild? Your mother said you were supposed to be watching her.”

“Oh,” Alec grimaced, wishing that he possessed Max and Isabelle’s flair for lying, “she’s actually going out on patrol with Izzy. Yeah, Izzy’s just gone to get her.” 

Robert shook his head. “Well, get her back here. We can’t have that girl out of institute control; the entire shadow world is looking for her.”

Alec folded his arms tightly. “She’s safe with Izzy. No-one knows she’s going out on patrol except Izzy, me and you. She’ll be fine. Izzy wants to show her what life is normally like for a shadowhunter…” He shrugged a little. “So far she’s been very critical about the whole thing.”

He glanced at his father’s expression out of the corner of his eye to see if he’d bought it.

“Yes, your mother mentioned that she was… Impolite.” Robert and Alec both bit their lower lips to keep from smiling. “Wish I’d been there to see it, honestly.”

“It was art,” Alec confessed, and Robert chuckled. 

“Alright, well, if you promise that she’s safe, I suppose I believe you. You know what the stakes are.” 

Alec nodded, shoulders easing a little. “Yeah. She’s fine with Izzy.”

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for morning briefing.” Robert nodded. “Your mother wants to speak to you before you turn in, she’s in the office.”

“Uh oh,” Alec sighed.

Robert smiled, patting him on the shoulder. “She only wants what’s best for you. She’s just a little… Prickly. But she loves you more than anything in this world.”

“I know,” he mumbled, scratching his ear. “I’ll go and see her now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus tossed his phone into the armchair once he’d said goodbye to Izzy, avoiding Clary’s questioning eyes, and pointed at a piece of paper on the potions table. “Write down phoenix eyes, moon salt, and idris fulgurite. They’re the three things I’ll need. Izzy’s going to meet you on 4th. There’s a pharmacy that looks… Shady. It’s actually an apothecary. It’ll be warded against your eyes, though.”

“Simon can see wards and runes,” Clary corrected him casually, and Magnus looked up at the mundane with suspicion.

“It’s no big deal, they’re just drawings,” Simon shrugged.

Magnus’ narrowed eyes examined Simon for a moment longer, before dropping back to Luke, who was shifting uncomfortably, face twisted in pain. 

“Anyway, I’ll be as quick as I can. It’ll be fine, Clary,” Simon promised, giving her a quick hug before legging it out of the apartment.

“Luke?!” Clary squeezed the werewolf’s hand tightly as his eyes slipped shut, and Magnus patted her on the shoulder. 

“It’s fine, biscuit, I just put him to sleep so that he won’t feel the pain. Come and help me,” he got to his feet, grimacing as his knees made a disgusting clicking noise, and resolved to ask Catarina for advice the next time he saw her. He crossed to the cauldron bubbling away on the potions table, and pushed a wooden spoon into Clary’s hand. “Stir.”

“Do you think Luke will be okay?” Clary asked, staring anxiously down into the viscous potion she was stirring.

Magnus didn’t hesitate. “Of course he will. Isabelle is an excellent shadowhunter, as far as shadowhunters go, and it seems like Simon would do anything for you. They’ll be back here in no time, I’m sure.”

After a few moments of tense silence, Clary just had to ask. “So you like Alec, right?”

“I would…” Magnus sighed, measuring out some more ingredients, “I’d like to get to know him better, yes. But it’s early days; he could still turn out to be, what’s the term now?”

“Alec isn’t a fuckboy. He’s kinda stuffy, but he’s not a fuckboy.”

“Right, that’s it,” Magnus snorted, “I’m very suspicious, honestly. How can anyone be that sweet and that beautiful? It’s just not… It’s unheard of.” 

Clary smiled a little. “I think the Lightwoods are just ridiculously attractive. It’s exhausting to look at them, honestly.”

“Right?!” Magnus tutted, “there must be something wrong with him.”

“That’s how I feel about Izzy,” Clary admitted, looking over her shoulder to check that Luke was still sleeping peacefully. “She’s ridiculously hot, and she’s supportive, and she listens to me, and she’s bi? There’s gotta be something I’m missing.”

“Well, she is a shadowhunter,” Magnus sighed, pursing his lips a little as he tinkered with the potion. “In my experience they’re not exactly the most trustworthy of people. But… There’s something honest about Alec, and Izzy, too. I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Are shadowhunters really that bad? I mean they’re boring and they have too many rules, but they protect people, right?” Clary asked, and Magnus pressed his lips into a hard line. Her mind wandered back to the way Maryse had talked about the Seelies. “Right?”

“The shadowhunters don’t regard downworlders as their equals; we’re treated with distrust and suspicion. They rule us rather than work with us. Of course, it’s not as bad as it used to be; a lot of the younger generation are starting to open their minds, due in part to my friend Ragnor, who teaches in Idris. But, Clary… Don’t think for a second that the Clave actually cares about the welfare of downworlders like me and Luke. They care about power, and not much else.”

Clary chewed on her lower lip. “So Maryse isn’t just one asshole… All the older shadowhunters are like that?” 

“Oh, you met Maryse?” Magnus hummed, “a delight, isn’t she?”

“I yelled at her. I think she hates me.”

Magnus beamed. “That’s my girl.” 

The two shared a grin for a moment, but were soon snapped out of it by a loud groan from behind them. Luke was trying to sit up, looking blearily around. Clary ran to his side while Magnus darted around the back of the sofa, hitching up his sleeves.

“Clary,” Luke gasped, pushing Magnus’ hand away as it neared his chest.

“Let me take your pain away, Lucian; agitation only makes the venom work faster.” He insisted, but Luke’s unfocused eyes ignored him, searching out Clary. 

“No, no, I have to tell her, I have to tell her everything.” Luke squeezed Clary’s fingers in his. “You have to know.”

“Save your strength,” Clary replied fiercely, “Magnus, do it.”

Luke dropped Clary’s and and grasped for Magnus’ instead. “You have to tell her everything. Just in case. Tell her. Promise.”

As the werewolf’s eyes fell shut, Magnus snapped his fingers, summoning magic to his palm and raking it up and down Luke’s body, draining the pain from the venom burning in his veins. “The poison is spreading. Simon and Izzy need to hurry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Across town, Izzy was the first to reach the apothecary, buying the ingredients that Simon had texted her, and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the mundane outside. He skidded to a halt in front of her, wheezing for breath, and Izzy smiled somewhat fondly as he doubled over, hands on his knees. 

“Come on, Luke’s getting worse, we gotta-”

“Already got everything, let’s go,” Izzy assured him, “you okay?”

Simon straightened up and tipped his head back, gulping in lungfuls of air. “I’m fine, I just can’t run anymore. If we walk I’ll be cool.” 

“Let’s go,” Izzy nodded, slinging her satchel over her shoulder. “So how are you feeling? Clary said you were getting the flu?”

“It was a false alarm, I think.” Simon shrugged, “must’ve just eaten something bad.”

Izzy pursed her lips a little, unsure of what to say for once in her life. She and Simon had always gotten along fine, but without Clary with them to keep the conversation going, it was a little awkward. They were both very aware that the other liked Clary as more than a friend, and it made the silence strained.

“So Magnus seems fancy,” Simon commented, digging his hands in his pockets. “Clary said he and Alec are kind of a thing.” 

“They’re not technically a thing, yet. But they’re both interested in each other for sure. Alec just needs to get his head around it, I think.”

“Yeah, like… Someone’s first boyfriend after coming out is a big deal, it would be silly to just jump into it with someone you just met.” Simon shrugged, blushing a little as he watched Izzy out of the corner of her eyes.

“Magnus will be very considerate of his feelings,” Izzy said pointedly. “And Alec is old enough to make his own decisions. Though, I’m sure Magnus is very anxious to make sure that all Alec’s friends and family will like him.”

Simon sighed, running his hand through his hair as he dropped all pretenses. “It’s not that I don’t trust you with her. I just… Part of me was hoping that the ten percent of the time she likes boys, she’d…”

“Like you,” Izzy smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry. It must suck ass.” 

“Yeah, kinda,” Simon admitted, letting out a long breath. “But if she had to fall for someone else, I’m glad it was someone who’s actually nice. She’s had really, really bad taste in women in the past. It’s sort of an inside joke between us that her type is jailbirds.” 

Izzy grinned. “She has a nose for trouble.”

“Basically,” Simon snorted. “And you are trouble. But… Also nice. So I think I can deal with that.” 

“You’re a really, really good friend, Simon.” Izzy sighed, scritching her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. “Thanks for not being an asshole about all this.”

Simon let out a long huff of breath. “Yeah, yeah, I’m a saint for not guilt tripping my best friend for not liking me back,” he muttered sarcastically, “let’s go and help a warlock save a werewolf.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec knew that sooner or later he had to face his mother. He had to smooth things over, make sure that she wasn’t going to fuck him over by deciding to stay and babysit him and Izzy. It took him almost an hour to gather the courage to face her by himself, bargaining with himself that he’d go and see Magnus as soon as his mother was happy again. The door was open when he got there, and Maryse was standing with her back to him, looking at a bookshelf on the other side of the room.

“Mother?” He asked, hesitating at the door. His stomach dropped when he heard her draw a trembling breath, her hands darting across her face like she was wiping away tears. Guilt swelled in his chest, though he had no idea what he’d done to move her to tears. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her cry in his life. “What’s wrong?”

There was a beat of silence. Another trembling breath. Alec jammed his hands into his pockets. “Nothing.”

“Did… Something happen in Idris?” He guessed, watching as she turned to show him her splotchy face even as she walked purposefully over to her desk. 

“Nothing we can do about it now,” she whispered, perching on the edge of it. Alec wandered over the couch opposite her, and slowly sunk down onto the cushions.

“There’s always something we can do,” he insisted, “we’re Lightwoods. You taught me that.”

Maryse sniffed, and her eyes darted around the room. “Remember when you were ten, and that awful Herondale boy was giving you a hard time because you dressed like a boy?”

“I’ll never forget,” Alec swallowed hard. “I punched him in the nose twice as hard as any other boy he’d ever met.”

“I was so proud when they told me you’d broken it,” Maryse smiled, fresh tears swimming in her eyes.

Alec grinned toothily at her. “Until his Mom yelled at you and made them punish me for insubordination.”

“And you just… Took it, like a man. Like your father.” Maryse sighed, pressing her hands together between her knees. 

“He wouldn’t have left me alone if I didn’t.” Alec shrugged. “It was worth it to see him cry.”

“That’s when I first wondered, you know,” Maryse admitted, moving to sit next to him on the sofa. “At the time, I thought… Maybe you were… A lesbian. You were… There was something about you that was never feminine. No matter how hard I tried to tell you how pretty you were, or how perhaps you should try using a lighter weapon… You weren’t having it. Looking back, it made more sense for you to be a boy. That’s why, when you told me how you felt, I wished you’d said something sooner.”

Alec squirmed. “Why are you telling me this, Mom?” 

“The Clave has shut us out. We think they’re going to send an Envoy.” Maryse explained.

“We’ll find a work-around, we always do. We’re Lightwoods. They can’t shut us out forever.”

Maryse looked at him for a moment, her eyes, that were so like Izzy’s, roaming all over his face. Alec wasn’t sure she’d looked at him with this much warmth since he’d come out. He almost recoiled when she reached out to push his hair out of his face, the backs of her fingers brushing his cheek. “You’re grown up so handsome.” 

Alec huffed, ducking his head so he wouldn’t have to meet her gaze. Why are you being like this, he wanted to ask, confused emotions warring in the pit of his stomach. He felt a little sick with the mix of relief and anger and pride all welling in him at once. All at once, realisation hit him, and he pressed his lips together. “What do you need me to do?” He asked quietly.

“We need a political alliance,” Maryse confessed, without a beat of hesitation. “The quickest way to do that is through marriage.” 

Ridiculous, melodramatic, childish tears sprang to Alec’s eyes. “Of course you do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TRIGGERING CONTENT: TRANSPHOBIA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The Clave has agreed that you’re more man than woman. Provided you get all the right… Parts, they’ll allow you to marry as a man. Hardly anyone knows about you in Idris, Alec, you could have any woman you wanted. We’ll make something up, an excuse why you can’t have kids, and…”

Alec’s binder was too tight. His hands were shaking. He squeezed his eyes closed, forcing air into his lungs. “The right parts?” He repeated, feeling sweat start to bead at his temples.

“Alec, honey, we’ve been putting this off since you were seventeen, I think you’ve had more than enough time to sort through whatever it is you needed to sort through…” 

“I said that I didn’t want the surgery and I meant it,” Alec replied, bracing himself for what he knew was coming next.

“If you didn’t want to be a man, why have we gone through all this, then?! Alec, men have penises. I know that you don’t want to accept that, but it’s true. The Clave will never accept you as a man until you fix what’s down there.”

“You mean you won’t accept me.” Alec blurted out, rising to his feet. His head was spinning. He had to get out of here. There was a buzzing sound in his ears, and somehow he made his feet move, running from the room. Vaguely he knew that his mother was calling after him, but he could feel something crawling up his throat and he knew he didn’t want it to escape with her seeing. 

He made it outside the institute before he finally vomited, his hands against the wall. It made him feel a little better, the fresh air, and he looked down at himself, swiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. Luckily, he’d managed to avoid getting anything on his clothes, because he couldn’t face going back in to change, not right now.

Where was Izzy?

Oh, right. She was at Magnus’, helping with the werewolf. He raked his hands through his hair, heading off in the direction of Magnus’ loft. He was a mess, he couldn’t face Magnus like this. He was probably ugly crying, he thought, lifting his fingers to wipe them away.

His cheeks were dry. 

Alec looked in his reflection in a car window and almost recoiled at the look on his face. He looked dead inside, his eyes flat, resigned and miserable. It hit him that he’d been expecting this. He’d been expecting his Mom to spell it out for months, years. No matter how hard he worked, no matter how much he wore his binder, she and the rest of shadowhunter society wouldn’t accept him until he risked his life in a surgery that wouldn’t even make him happy. 

There were no silent brothers that knew how to do a phalloplasty, so Alec would have to go through mundane doctors. Mundane doctors with no clue about his real heritage, no clue about how the angel blood in his veins would react to such an invasive surgery. There was a good chance Alec wouldn’t make it. It was doubtful that his body would accept mundane blood and grafts.Even iff it did, his angel blood could be diluted too much and he could turn into a forsaken.

The odds were the shadowhunter Alec Lightwood would cease to exist.

All for a goddamn dick. 

Alec didn’t even want a fucking dick.

Rage rose in him, and he clenched his jaw against the urge to kick a fire hydrant as he stormed through the streets of Brooklyn. What business was it of the Clave’s what his crotch looked like, anyways? It’s not like they had to sleep with him. No-one was ever going to sleep with him. No-one would ever have to look at it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TRIGGERING CONTENT END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His fingers clawed through his hair once more, yanking it down into his face, messing it up where his mother had smoothed it back. He grunted in approval as he glanced at himself in a shop window.

There had to be another way to get the Lightwoods back into the Clave’s good graces. He and Izzy just had to do something wonderful, something so impressive that the Clave had to recognise them as useful shadowhunters. If they caught Valentine…

If they caught Valentine.

Alec breathed out a long sigh of relief. That was what they were going to do. They were going to find Valentine, just the two of them. And maybe Clary. They’d bring him down, deliver him to the Clave, and they would never question Alec’s leadership or Izzy’s loyalty ever again. 

He just had to focus. Nothing was more important than bringing down Valentine. It had to be his priority. As he glanced up, he realised that he’d reached Magnus’ loft. He hesitated. Magnus Bane had shaken him to his core, awoken something that he couldn’t afford to explore. Not right now. He couldn’t be distracted. Emotions were a distraction, he told himself. 

His hands didn’t get the memo, and eagerly yanked open the door, heading to the stairs with single-minded determination. 

He’d help with the werewolf, if only to make Clary more amenable to his plans for Valentine, he promised himself, though a traitorous voice in his mind told him that all he really wanted was to see Magnus again. Hear him flirt, blush knowing that he, Alec, had attracted a man, a queer man, for the first time in his life. 

He was allowed to feel good about himself every now and then, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“My father was a monster,” Clary whispered, and Magnus’ heart squeezed to see the genuine pain in her earnest eyes. 

“Yes,” Magnus replied, looking away from her and back to Luke, who was still unconscious thanks to the magic that Magnus was pumping into his body. “And what happened back then is happening again. The Clave refuses to believe that he’s a threat. And he will kill us all, all the downworlders, given the chance.” 

Clary swallowed hard. “We won’t let that happen.”

“If you keep the cup from him, then he won’t be able to create new shadowhunters. And hopefully he’ll lose all his existing followers in skirmishes. You have to keep the cup safe, Clary. Otherwise Valentine will destroy the downworld.” 

“No pressure,” Clary whispered, scratching her forehead. “But where do I find it? Luke said that if I knew the story, then I’d know where the cup is, but I still have no idea. Why didn’t they tell me?!”

Magnus sighed. “I imagine they didn’t want you to judge them for their actions back then. They were both young and naive, and they did more than anyone else to stop Valentine once they realised what he was doing.” 

Clary pursed her lips. “I know, I just… They could’ve told me about the cup.”

“Everything your mother did, she did to safeguard the cup. She took her oath as a shadowhunter seriously. She knew that she needed to protect the downworld, that she was more or less the only one who could.” Magnus explained, shaking his head a little. “I hated the fact that our fate hung in the hands of a few adolescent shadowhunters,” he chuckled softly. “But Jocelyn and Luke didn’t let me down.”

“If it was so important, then why did she stop being a shadowhunter?” 

Magnus smiled, looking over at her. “Because the one thing she loved more in the world, the one thing she cared more about, was you. She had to protect you.”

Clary looked down at Luke, tears filling her eyes. 

“We’re back! We got it!” Simon burst into the room, and Clary leapt to her feet, not bothering to hide her face as she crossed the room and took the ingredients from Izzy, running to the cauldron and putting them in. 

“Stir three times anti-clockwise, and then clockwise three times. Let it stew for one minute, then take it off the heat and put it in the cup.” Magnus commanded, eyes fluttering with the strain of keeping his magic so constant. “You’ll have to feed it to him, I’m… Not going to last much longer.”

“Magnus, you can’t let your magic run out,” Izzy urged, grabbing a cup and watching as Clary timed a minute on her watch.

Magnus didn’t answer, eyebrows furrowing. A few more seconds, he told himself.

Alec stumbled into the room, eyes drawn to the blue glow of Magnus’ magic, and ignoring everyone else ran across to kneel down next to him. “Are you alright?”

“Help me,” Magnus gulped, “I need your strength.”

His eyes darting down to Magnus’ fingers, he offered his hand. “Take what you need,” he murmured, “I’m here.” 

“Alexander,” Magnus smiled, sagging against the younger man’s body and taking his hand, gasping at the pure power of Alec’s angel blood and channeling it into Luke with renewed energy. He’d never used shadowhunter strength before; none of them had ever trusted him enough. It meant more than he’d like to admit that Alexander gave it up to him so easily.

Alec couldn’t deny that the sensation was strange; he could feel the pull of Magnus’ magic taking something, but it didn’t leave him weak; it felt… Empowering. Like he could explode with all the friction in his veins. 

“Here we go,” Clary sighed, after what felt like hours, bending down to give Luke the potion. “Simon, raise his head.”

They carefully poured the potion into Luke’s mouth, and the effect was almost instantaneous. Luke’s eyes opened slowly, seeking out Clary’s face, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Magnus leaned fully back against Alec’s chest, making the shadowhunter hiss quietly.

“Oh, sorry.” Magnus mumbled, going to sit up, but Alec just adjusted his position so Magnus’ shoulder blades weren’t pressing into the swell of his chest. 

“You’re alright,” he replied, “rest a minute.”

Magnus sighed and let his head rest in the crook of Alec’s neck, looking up at the shadowhunter through his eyelashes. Alec looked down at him, concern in his hazel eyes, but Magnus offered him a tired smile and he seemed to relax.

“Clary,” Luke smiled, blinking a few times to clear his vision, “hey.” 

“We should get him to a bed,” Izzy pointed out, “he needs rest.”

“He can take mine,” Magnus could fall asleep right here, he mused to himself, in Alec’s arms. 

Simon and Izzy exchanged a grin as they passed Magnus and Alec, helping Luke to Magnus’ bedroom. Alec heaved Magnus up to the armchair behind him, squeezing his arm gently as he got him situated. Clary watched them, and smiled at Alec as he got up and turned around. 

“Thank you, Alec. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, Luke would’ve…”

Alec held up his hand. “I didn’t do it for Luke. Or… Or for you, honestly.” He blushed, and Clary nodded, a slight smirk on her lips. 

“Good for you.” She said, rubbing his bicep soothingly before turning to go and check on Luke. 

“Clary,” Izzy sighed, hugging her tightly as she came into the bedroom. “I need to get back to the institute, okay? But you stay here as long as you need.” 

Clary nodded, smiling a little as Izzy cupped her cheek, leaning into the touch. “See you later.” 

“Bye, Iz.” Simon waved, hovering awkwardly behind Clary next to the bed. 

Izzy blew him a kiss and he visibly swooned a little, which made her giggle as she turned to leave. She peeked at Alec and Magnus as she passed through the living room, but they were too caught up in each other to notice, Magnus watching as Alec wiped down the leather couch. Silently, she let herself out of the loft and headed back to the institute. 

In the bedroom, Clary turned to Simon, and pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you so much for being here, Simon. It means the world to me, really.” 

“I’ll always be here for you,” Simon promised, burying his face in her hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she smiled, pulling back. “Give me a few minutes with Luke, would you?”

“Yeah, of course, I have something I need to do anyway,” Simon nodded, giving Luke’s not-injured shoulder a squeeze. He needed to go and see Camille, try and figure out what was happening to him. All these visions of her had to mean something, right?

“I see you found yourself a girlfriend in the four days I wasn’t here looking out for you,” Luke teased, and Clary huffed, fighting a smile. 

“She’s not my girlfriend. Yet.” 

Luke scoffed. “Of course not.” They fell into a tense silence, their eyes connected. “I’m sorry we never told you.” Luke said, finally.

“You should have. But you can’t change it now.” Clary said quietly. “But if we’re gonna find the cup, you have to tell me everything.”

“I know,” he nodded, patting the bed next to him. Magnus had magicked a sketchbook for her earlier, supposedly to relax her, and Clary finally reached for it, pulling the pencil she kept behind her ear and putting it to the paper. 

As Luke began to tell the story of how he and Jocelyn’s relationship drew Valentine mad with rage, and pushed him to experiment with demon blood, Clary started to draw. She sketched Valentine’s face, then the mortal cup, an angel blade, Luke and Jocelyn holding hands. Luke talked for what seemed like hours, explaining how Valentine had once been honourable, charismatic, smart. And how he’d fallen. How Clary’s mother had drawn them, her and Luke, together, and that had sent him over the edge. Luke couldn’t quite look at her as he recounted the night he’d become a werewolf, and Clary kept her lower lip pinched between her teeth to keep it from trembling. 

“Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Clary?” Luke asked her, finally, after a moment of quiet.

“God knows what he’d do if he got the cup,” Clary nodded, eyes moving over her drawings. 

Luke leaned forward. “It all starts and ends with you. You’re the only person who can find the cup and protect it from Valentine. Jocelyn gave me instructions, for if this ever happened. She said I had to tell you everything about our past. She said it would unlock you.”

Clary sighed, pacing around the bed. “Well, nothing’s happened. Is there anything else you haven’t said?” 

“I… There is something else. It’s…”

“You have to tell me, Luke. You have to.” 

Luke hesitated. “Your father was a good man, once. This will just…”

“That men is dead,” Clary snapped. “Tell me what I need to know.”

After a moment to check Clary’s resolve, Luke nodded with a sigh, and started to tell Clary the story of her older brother, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s been centuries since I’ve had a maid as good-looking as you,” Magnus commented, perched on the potions table as he made himself what Alec assumed was a healing elixir. 

Alec scoffed, hiding his pleased grin by looking down at the leather he was currently wiping down. Luke’s blood hadn’t stained it, luckily, but there was a disconcertingly large puddle. “Just trying to do a nice thing for you, Magnus.”

“You know I have magic for that, right?” He pointed out, and Alec sighed, leaning back on his haunches to look up at the older man. 

“I think you’ve exerted yourself enough for one day.” 

Magnus hummed, flourishing his creation with a flick of his wrist. “Drink break?”

“Is that not for you?” Alec asked, rising to his feet. He glanced around the room, though he knew logically that no-one was there to berate him for socialising with a warlock, and wandered over to Magnus’ side, leaving a few inches between them on the potions table. 

“Oh, I’m on the hard liquor.” Magnus shrugged, holding up his other hand. A short, round glass half full of amber liquid sat in his palm, and Alec sighed. “It’s very effective after a major magic depletion.”

“Sure,” Alec smiled, taking the cocktail glass from Magnus’ offering hand. “I do have to go back to the institute tonight, this isn’t too strong, is it?”

“I value taste over strength, Alexander. Never fear.” 

Alec hummed, and took a sip. 

It tasted like dish water and petrol. 

He couldn’t stop himself from making a face, eyes darting to Magnus as he choked a little bit. “It’s, uh… That’s not strong?”

Magnus laughed like Alec had done something particularly endearing, which made him blush a little. “Perhaps I should have started you off with a white wine spritzer.”

“I don’t know what that means but I agree.” Alec realised that this was not the kind of drink that got tastier the more you drank. 

“You really hate it, don’t you?” Magnus tilted his head to the side a little, watching the younger man fondly. 

Alec shrugged. “It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” Standing here with the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and tentatively flirting with him while sipping an admittedly awful drink is actually, probably up there with the best things that have ever happened to me, he told himself, looking down into the glass.

“Let me try something,” Magnus suggested, leaning a little closer to snap some magic into Alec’s drink. Blue mist fizzled on the surface and sunk down into the glass. “Should make it taste a little better.”

“Ooooh…” It was out of his mouth before Alec could stop himself, and Magnus grinned. To cover up the fact that he’d embarrassed himself with the effeminate noise, Alec took a gulp of the cocktail, and his eyebrows rose a little. It tasted like vanilla, smooth and a little… syrupy? Was magic syrupy? 

It was fucking delicious, was what it was. 

Magnus’ heart felt warm as he watched Alec’s expression fall into wonder at the taste of his magic. It was just a silly trick, but Alec was obviously impressed by it, and it made him preen a little. Not to mention the fact that he, a shadowhunter, had literally watched Magnus spike his drink with god-knows-what kind of magic and had just… Basically downed it.

Ah.

“Angel, it may not taste as strong, but it’ll still kick your ass quite firmly.” Magnus blurted out, fingers curling around Alec’s where they held the glass. Had he really called him… Angel? Magnus almost dreaded to think how emasculating that must have come across, and almost didn’t dare to look at the younger man’s face...

Alec’s cheeks were pink, whether from the alcohol or the endearment Magnus wasn’t sure. He looked… Well, embarrassed. 

“Sorry. It tastes like... “ Alec pursed his lips. “I don’t know what it tastes like. But it’s nice.” 

Magnus smiled. “Well, there’s more where that came from. Perhaps I’ll use a little less vodka in the next one, though.”

Alec grinned sheepishly. “That’s probably smart.” 

They sipped their drinks in silence for a moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Alec couldn’t remember ever being this comfortable in silence, except maybe with Izzy when they trained. Magnus was… So easy to be around. He didn’t have to think about how he was coming off, if his posture was manly enough…

He realised he’d forgotten, for a moment, that he wasn’t a real man. His shoulders rose a little, and Magnus hummed, looking him up and down. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, twisting a little to grab the bottle of whiskey in order to refill his glass. 

“Why did you ask for me, when Izzy and Clary were both here?” It wasn’t what Alec had expected that he was going to say, but he was curious nonetheless. 

Magnus smirked, and stepped over to the window, looking out at the city. “Didn’t Isabelle tell you the explanation I gave?”

Alec inhaled sharply as he remembered, all at once, what Izzy had told him. “I… That’s not a thing. V-virgin… Besides, how do you even know that I haven’t… It’s not even a thing.” 

Magnus grinned so wide he was glad Alec couldn’t see him. “You’re right,” he confessed, his thumb running across the surface of his glass, “it was a total lie.” 

“Then… Why did you lie? You could’ve just said…”

Magnus turned around, meeting Alec’s eyes. “That I wanted to see you again?”

Alec shrugged. “Yeah. I… Wanted to see you too. You didn’t have to be all… Cryptic.”

“I’m not being cryptic…” Magnus purred, toying with his ear cuff, “I’m being coy.”

“Right,” Alec whispered, smiling a little, though he couldn’t quite take his eyes off of Magnus. His make-up looked good. It was a little glittery on the bottom, and it made his already obscenely pretty eyes shine like diamonds. He looked so… Soft. And yet, he was so powerful. Alec had felt it, first hand, when they’d shared their strength. 

It was comforting, somehow, to know that such a powerful man could also be so soft, and gentle. Maybe he wasn’t as bad at being a man as he’d thought…

“Let me spell it out for you,” Magnus murmured, lightly touching Alec’s arm. “You’re special, Alexander. For almost a century I’ve closed myself off for feeling anything, for anyone. Man, or woman. You’ve… Unlocked something in me.”

“Why me?” Alec’s voice was quiet, like if he spoke too loud it would break whatever spell that seemed to be weaving between the two of them. It wasn’t warlock magic; it was something stronger than that. 

Magnus really had to stop himself from reaching up to touch Alec’s cheek. He knew that would be pushing it too far. Instead, he took a tiny step back, and tilted his head to the side. “I don’t know yet,” he lied, “why did you come back?”

“I’m not sure,” Alec lied. 

They both knew, both felt, that the other was hiding something, but in order to protect their own little secrets, stayed quiet. Magnus tentatively raised his glass. “To us?”

Alec smiled a little, and tapped his almost-empty, triangular glass against Magnus’ almost-full, round glass. He opened his mouth, to tell Magnus how scared he was, of this. Of his parents finding out, of making him marry a girl, making him have a dangerous operation he didn’t want… But his phone rang. 

“Mother.” Alec’s voice trembled a little, but he kept his back straight, turning away from Magnus. 

“Thank the angel! I thought you’d run into traffic or something! Alexander Gideon Lightwood, where on Earth have you been?!”

“I… I don’t have any missed calls.”

“Well I didn’t think you were going to answer your phone given the state you were in!” 

Alec sighed. So, he deduced, Izzy had gotten back and called out Maryse for not checking up on Alec, so she’d summoned some panic and fake concern and chosen to call to make him feel bad. 

“I’m fine, Mother. I just need time to think about my next move.”

“You mean our next move, don’t you? You have our support in this, Alec. We’ll find you a good wife, and-” 

Alec hung up, turned around, and tossed his phone out the window. He gasped, eyes going wide as he realised what he’d done. “Oh my God.”

“Oh my God!” Magnus sounded delighted. “We’re on the twentieth floor!”

Alec put his hand to his mouth, and shook his head. “She’s going to kill me.”

“Oh, yes,” Magnus patted him on the shoulder. “That was beautiful, Alec.” 

An absurd giggle tore itself from Alec’s chest, and Magnus grinned, and pretty soon they were both laughing uncontrollably, gripping the edge of the table.

“Magnus…” Alec sighed, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “What am I gonna do?”

“What, with your parents?” He asked, conjuring a glass of orange juice from the kitchen. Alec scowled when he took a sip and realised it wasn’t a cocktail. “Alexander, I am not about to ply you with alcohol if you want to talk about serious matters.”

“Might need a few more drinks to tell you everything,” the younger man grumbled, and Magnus rubbed his bicep, smirking ever so slightly as Alec intentionally flexed. 

“I’m patient,” Magnus pressed, twining his fingers with Alec’s and leading him to the couch that wasn’t smeared with werewolf blood. “Spill your guts. I have a feeling that people don’t take the time to listen to you very often.”

Alec huffed out a long breath through his nose, and gently pulled his hand out of Magnus’ to press between his knees. “I’m lucky, really. Most shadowhunters would’ve laughed me off if I’d come out…”

An hour later, Magnus had his head in his hands, massaging his temples as he fought to contain the rage he could feel lashing in his chest. Alec wasn’t looking at him anymore, caught up in his monologue, his story of how he came out, and how his bigot parents had more or less psychologically tortured him in the years since. Not that Alec had said that, of course. He’d tried at every opportunity to stress that next to the average shadowhunter family, his parents were understanding. Like that made their abuse any more acceptable.

“So then she said that the Clave would never accept me as a man unless I had the surgery, and… I kinda blacked out after that. I just freaked out completely. The next thing I knew, I was here.”

“You know…” Magnus murmured, finally lifting his head. “I always knew your parents were cunts, but this… This takes it to a whole other level.” He announced, taking Alec’s hand in both of his own. “You deserve better.”

“That’s what Clary said,” Alec sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t know. I feel… Is it weird that I don’t want the surgery? I’m supposed to want it, right?”

Magnus shook his head. “Nothing that you feel about your body is wrong, Alexander. It’s your body. No-one else’s. And it’s absolutely no-one else’s business what you choose to do with it, or not do with it.” 

“It’s so risky, too. I could die! I probably would die! I mean I know shadowhunters die young and all but I don’t want to die on an operating table. I can think of hundreds of more helpful ways to go out.”

“If they’re so insistent that you need to have the surgery, your parents could at least have the decency to look into getting a doctor who knows about the nephilim. I actually have a friend in the medical profession, she’s a warlock, and…”

Alec sighed. “They won’t even let Izzy be friends with a Seelie. They definitely won’t let a warlock fiddle around with my genitals. Even if I did want them to.”

Magnus pressed his lips together. This was not the time for an innuendo.

The shadowhunter looked up when Magnus didn’t respond, his eyes narrowing as he saw the mirth in Magnus’ eyes. “Oh, shut up,” Alec whined, rolling his eyes. “You know what I mean. Dirty bastard.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus bit brutally on his lower lip to stifle himself. “But you did walk into that one.”

Alec huffed, and rested his elbow on the back of the sofa, leaning his chin on his hand. “Did you call me here to seduce me? Is that why you’re-”

“Alexander,” Magnus sobered a little. “The only way I’m ever going to actively try to seduce you is if you ask me to. While in your right mind. I just want to get to know you, right now.”

“This isn’t actively seducing me?” Alec shook his head. “Well, shit. I’d hate to see what you’re capable of when you’re actually trying.”

Magnus laughed, leaning his elbow on the back of the sofa, mirroring Alec’s position. “I’d say my charm is wearing off on you, angel. You’ve barely blushed all night.”

“I find it easy to talk to you,” Alec confessed, eyes dropping down to his knees for a moment. “I always thought you’d be more intimidating. But… You’re kind. You’ve got me spilling my guts and considering just walking out of that institute forever. I’m starting to think maybe that magic in my drink earlier wasn’t just for taste,” he teased, poking Magnus childishly in the ribs. 

“I’ve only roofied someone once. And that was because they wouldn’t stop harassing me. Apparently some people are offended by a man looking hotter than their girlfriend.” Magnus sighed, and Alec laughed.

“You can’t just expect to damage a straight man’s ego and get away with it, Magnus. You should know that; haven’t you lived for hundreds of years?”

“Yes, and I’ve been damaging straight man’s egos from day one.” Magnus grinned. “It’s the one hobby of mine that I never lost the passion for.”

Alec snorted, shaking his head for a moment. “Hey, what’s… What are warlocks like? With gay stuff? And… Trans stuff?”

“We’ve had our problems in the past, mostly stuff we internalised because of the Clave’s attitude towards us and the way we conduct ourselves, but…” Magnus shrugged, “immortality opens your mind. I don’t know if I know a warlock who hasn’t at least experimented with the same gender. And yes, there are some transgender warlocks, too. Treatment is fairly easy with magic involved, at least in comparison to what you and the mundanes have to go through. Of course, transgender vampires have it the worst; their bodies are incapable of change. But as a whole, warlocks and the downworld in general don’t tend to worry about what their peers are up to as long as everyone involved is content.”

“Must be nice…” Alec hummed, “to have people care so little about your personal life.”

Magnus sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Alec asked, meeting Magnus’ eyes. “It’s not like you made the shadowhunters this way.”

“I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. You don’t deserve all this pressure. Christ, how old are you? Twenty three? Four?”

“Twenty six,” Alec shrugged, “but the average life expectancy is forty nine, so I’m basically middle aged.” 

That didn’t make Magnus feel any better. He scootched a little closer, so his knee was touching Alec’s. The younger man sighed, and smiled weakly. 

“It’s alright, though. I have a plan, to make the Clave and my parents hop off my non-existent dick.” 

Magnus laughed. “Do tell.”

“I’m going to take down Valentine. Me and Izzy and Clary. We’re going to find the mortal cup and we’re going to catch him and bring him in front of the Clave and then they’ll never be able to tell me I’m not good enough for their respect ever again.” Alec insisted. “They’re sitting on their hands, not making any moves to stop him. So we’re gonna do it. The three troublemakers.”

Magnus smiled, resting his head on his hand. “That sounds wonderful. If there’s anything I can do to help in this noble quest of yours, let me know.” He admired Alec’s optimism even after all the shit that had been slung at him over the years, and he wished that he, himself, shared it. 

If Valentine ended up killing this man, well… Magnus might just have to call in that favour that his father still owed him and burn the entire world to the ground.

“I told myself right before I came up here that I couldn’t let anything distract me from finding Valentine,” Alec admitted, “so it wasn’t really fair to… You know, come up here, and…”

“Make my unfortunate weakness for you all the bigger?” Magnus asked, his fingers circling the rim of his glass. 

Alec blushed. “I meant more that it was unfair to let myself… Think I could have this. I shouldn’t have-”

“Hey,” Magnus sighed, leaning forward a little, unable to help himself. He reached out to touch Alec’s lips, effectively shutting him up. “I understand. We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah…”

Truthfully, Alec wasn’t sure how he was meant to pull off gaining the respect of the Clave as a man while dating a male downworlder, but he wanted to. He wanted to have it all.  
But somewhere, he’d have to compromise. 

Magnus smiled at him, and Alec decided that he’d compromise tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really almost gave up on this fic - I'm struggling to accept that the shadowhunters fandom just doesn't seem to review... Like... Ever...
> 
> But then Matt replied to me on instagram with the right pronouns, and it gave me that push to finish that chapter and stick with this fic. 
> 
> It's really tough for me to write this, sometimes - I have my own Maryse and Robert, and last week I had to hang out with them. It was hard, and it was even harder to write about my experiences with them. But I hope that they make someone feel less alone, and that someone lets me know! It just makes it worth it. Please review, or let me know on twitter @transboyalec_ if you've had good feelings from this!


	7. Episode 7: The Mortal Cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malec fluff, Catarina's debut, Clizzy and The Mortal Cup!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, apologies for the obscenely long wait - I've been working on a fic event which I'm very excited to release! It's a Malec AU set in 1890s England, with diplomat!Magnus and politics student!Alec. Stay tuned for that! It should be up on the 19th, I think.
> 
> TW: needles - Alec gets his testosterone shot, and he feel anxious about it.
> 
> Also I haven't started T yet, so maybe it's unrealistic that Alec goes to a clinic for his shots but HEY GO WITH IT THIS MEANS WE GET CAT, RIGHT?
> 
> I don't think there are any other trigger warnings needed, but let me know if I missed anything!

When Magnus woke up, it took him a moment to realise that he was on the floor. At first, he thought he was tied up or something, because his hand was being strangely levitated. Upon opening his eyes, he realised that it was because it was being held. By Alexander Lightwood.

Magnus smiled, staying perfectly still for a moment except for a light squeeze on Alec’s fingers. The younger man looked unacceptably cute; his cheek was smushed into the armrest of Magnus’ couch, his lips parted a little, free hand curled lightly into the hem of his t-shirt. He wasn’t even drooling. Bastard. 

Mostly because he knew Alec would spook if he were to wake up with Magnus staring at him, Magnus got up, gently pulling his fingers free of Alec’s grasp. It was a little strange, actually, to wake without a hangover, but it was a sensation he could get used to. He made a pot of coffee for the two of them, periodically checking to see if the younger man had woken up as it brewed, but Alec stayed stubbornly asleep. Magnus noticed that Alec had shifted a little in his sleep; the hand that had been holding Magnus’ had strayed up his own shirt, unconsciously petting his stomach and chest, and if that wasn’t the cutest damned thing Magnus had ever seen…

He knew he should wake him, really. Alec was supposed to have gone back to the institute last night, and it was only a matter of time before Maryse sent out a search party for him. With a sigh, Magnus carried the coffee tray through to the living room, and set it down on the table. 

“Milk and sugar?” He asked, a little louder than he wanted to, and Alec blinked awake, frowning with confusion. 

As soon as he realised where he was, he sat up straight, rubbing his eyes. “I-” He glanced down at himself, grabbing for his binder where it sat on the table. 

“It’s alright, Alec. No need to panic. No judgement here, remember? I just want you to be comfortable.” Magnus said gently. “Do you want milk and sugar?”

Alec held his binder up to hide himself, but made no move to stand. “Did I fall asleep? When did I fall asleep?”

“We both did,” Magnus shrugged. Alec gulped as Magnus sat next to him, getting to his feet. “Not together. I was on the floor. Never fear.” 

Alec rubbed his eyes with the pad of his thumb. “I need to get back to the institute. I shouldn’t have come here. It wasn’t fair to either of us.” 

“Alexander, angel, it’s a little early for worrying. You should stay for breakfast, line your stomach for the walk back…”

“I’m fine, Magnus.” Alec looked away, folding his arms tightly. “I should never have had a drink, it probably made me sleepy…”

“In hindsight,” Magnus mused, running his hand through his messy hair, “liquor may have been a bad idea after using all my magic to heal your friend Luke.” 

Alec was stepping backwards towards the bathroom like he didn’t want Magnus to know that that’s what he was doing. “He’s not my friend,” he insisted, “he’s Clary Fairchild’s. I didn’t want to get involved. I’ve only known her five days and she’s already gotten me breaking more clave laws than I have in the rest of my life combined…” He ducked into the bathroom, quickly changing back into his binder, wincing as he put the shirt he’d slept in back on over the top. How he’d managed to sleep wearing his daytime packer, he’d never know; it had migrated halfway down his thigh in the night. God, he hoped Magnus hadn’t noticed, rummaging around in his pants and resituating his dick with a huff.

“Hmm…” Magnus poured himself a cup of coffee as the bathroom door closed behind the younger man. “You’re more than just a pretty face, aren’t you?” He called, loud enough for Alec to hear him. There was a long pause, and when the shadowhunter emerged from the bathroom, his cheeks were a little pink. 

Alec shrugged on his jacket, swiping his hands through his hair. He looked a little grumpy, and Magnus hated himself for how cute he found the little pout and furrowed brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Magnus sighed, tilting his head to the side. “You shared your strength with me to help someone who you didn’t know from Adam. It’s rare to find a shadowhunter with such…” Magnus smiled. “An open heart.” 

“I trust you,” Alec confessed, scratching his ear. It was true; he’d found himself spilling his guts to Magnus last night. He hadn’t thought he’d been drunk at all, at the time, but… In the light of day he felt embarrassed at the intimacy he’d shared with the older man. “I don’t know why, but I do.”

Magnus swallowed hard, stepping a little closer to the younger man. His mouth opened to say something, anything, to make him stay, but Alec was scrubbing his hand down his face, looking stressed.

“What time is it? I’ve got a… Thing.” He’d been late getting his T shots two weeks in a row, and this would be his third; it was almost no wonder that he was feeling anxious. He was not looking forward to having to spin yet another excuse to the nurse. 

“Stay for breakfast,” Magnus blurted out, “I conjure up a mean Belgian waffle.” 

Alec blinked at him, and Magnus squirmed. He was being needy, he could feel it, but it was like word vomit at this point; it had to come out somewhere. 

“...No?” Alec replied, after way too long, and Magnus honestly wished for death to come and take him. He thought he'd outgrown embarrassment decades ago, but apparently not. “And if you let anyone know I slept here last night, I’ll…” Alec wasn’t quite sure how that sentence ended, and Magnus knew it. He shrugged a little.

“Relax.” He snorted, folding his arms and stepping back a little. It was only a matter of time before Alec had to remember that he was a shadowhunter, after all. He’d been flirting on borrowed time. “My reputation’s on the line just as much as yours. If my people knew that I’d let a shadowhunter stay here, I’d lose all credibility.”

Alec pursed his lips. He almost physically felt Magnus close off, and he wanted to fix it, but he knew that he should leave it alone. It was easier if Magnus hated him. 

He deserved to feel like shit, anyway. He didn’t deserve to see Magnus’ sparkly warm eyes directed at him. It was easier if Magnus hated him. 

“Then why did you let me sleep here?” Alec asked, before he could stop himself.

Magnus looked as surprised as he felt. “Because…” the older man bit the inside of his cheek, “trust makes you do strange things.” 

Alec looked down at his feet. 

“Must be something in the air…” Magnus teased. Alec sighed, out loud, meeting the older man’s eyes.

I want to be good to you, Alec thought, but I don’t know how.

Magnus’ gaze seemed to brighten, once more. His lips quirked a little.

I know, he seemed to say, with a coy tilt of his head.

Alec turned and scrambled for the door before he could say something completely outlandish about how beautiful Magnus looked in the morning with his make-up smudged. 

What on Earth had possessed him to engage with Magnus again? He berated himself as he got on the subway, sitting himself in a quiet corner to glamour his runes away. Cat was a mundane nurse, and protocol insisted that any evidence of the shadow world must be kept hidden from mundane eyes. Alec didn’t mind; it gave him a menial task to do on the way to the clinic so he didn’t think too hard about the shot he was about to get. 

Even after all this time, almost ten years, he still couldn’t quite look at the needle before Cat put it in. It was sort of a running joke between them, now. He should have started self-administering years ago, but Cat told him no every time he suggested it. She was loathe to let him, between his own mental health issues (which, no matter how many times Alec insisted he was fine, she made a point of highlighting at least once a month) and his parents, she simply didn’t trust that Alec would take good enough care of himself. At least this way, she’d pointed out, she could make sure he got the right dose at the right time, as well as keep an eye on his state of mind.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Alec sighed, catching sight of Cat standing in the doorway to her office as he stumbled through the automatic doors of the clinic. 

Cat looked more amused than anything else at the sight of him. She was as cool as ever, unphased by the chaotic aura Alec gave off with his wide, anxious eyes and the hair that split off in a hundred different directions. Her dark, thick hair was pulled back into a ponytail, as always, her nurse’s uniform pressed and unrumpled. The only thing about her appearance that gave Alec the tiniest hint that she wasn’t as stiff and boring as her peers was the pair of stained, beaten up loafers that she wore. Her arms were folded, and she unfolded them to slowly check her watch.

“Half an hour. Let me guess. You…” She made a show of tapping her chin as she wandered into her office, letting Alec follow. “Tripped over a dog in Central Park and had to stop and make sure he was okay?” 

“My excuses are never that bad,” Alec snorted, shrugging off his jacket. He felt the tension bleed out of him the second that the door of the office clicked fully shut. This, this was the one place where he could be himself, and not have to worry about doing or saying the wrong thing. Ironic, really, considering it was the one place he had to hide his shadowhunter identity.

Cat smirked, turning away from Alec to prep the injection. “So are you going to bother to offer an excuse this time, or are you going to finally admit that you’re awful at time-keeping?” 

“I… Was with a boy. A man. And that’s the truth,” Alec sighed, unbuttoning his flies. 

“Oh?” Now that was a surprise. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah…” Alec sucked his lower lip. “It’s not gonna work, though… My parents are getting on my case about getting a girlfriend, so…”

Cat tutted, rolling her eyes a little as Alec bent over the table. “Of course they are. Sweetie, you really need to find a job so you can stop being financially dependent on those assholes. There’s a bar that’s hiring, a few blocks from here…”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Alec insisted, tensing a little as Cat put her hand gently on his lower back, as he always did. 

“Relax, Alec. You know it hurts more if you don’t.”

Alec sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and focussing on spreading his toes as wide as he could in his boots. He barely felt the pinch of the needle; he hardly ever did, but the sensation of the cool liquid being pushed into his butt always freaked him out, and he winced a little. 

“That’s it, you big baby,” Cat teased, patting his back gently once she’d tossed out the needle. “You’re all set for another week.” 

“Thanks, Cat.” Alec mumbled, pulling up his pants. “Have a good week!” 

“You too, kid.” It broke her heart a little every week, the way Alec would linger, not wanting to go back to his parents and whatever waited for him at home. It had been ten years, and Alec had never once been keen to leave her office. She checked her schedule, and saw that her next patient wasn’t due for another ten minutes. “I’m free for a few more minutes if you want to talk.” 

Alec sighed. “I should really get home,” he said, sitting down on the bed. “I stayed out last night and I know everyone’s going to be asking me where I was.”

“You were with this guy?” 

“Yeah,” Alec scratched his forehead. “I don’t know, honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking, it’s not like I can date him.”

Cat tilted her head to the side. “Why not? You’re twenty-six, Alec, you can do what you like.” 

“It’s complicated,” Alec admitted, pursing his lips. “I need to fulfill a certain role in my family, you know? I don’t know, I don’t know how Magnus would fit into it.”

“It’s tough. Obviously I don’t know the whole story so I can’t tell you what to do.” Cat shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, though.” 

Alec groaned. “The worst part? He’s the most understanding guy I’ve ever met. He didn’t care that I was trans, he didn’t treat me any differently when he found out. It was…” He sighed, shaking his head a little. “It was really nice.” 

Cat smiled, folding her arms. “Sounds like he makes you happy.”

“I think he could.” Alec said quietly, fiddling with his knee. 

“Alec, honey, that’s all that matters.” Cat insisted, “I know you feel responsible for literally everyone around you, but your main duty, your most important duty is to yourself. Fuck everyone else, they can look after themselves, they’re adults. You need to put yourself first.” 

Alec closed off a little at that, guilt seeping into his face. He wasn’t a mundane; he couldn’t afford to put himself first, he literally had the fate of the entire world on his shoulders. He forced a smile, and hopped off the bed. “Thanks, Cat. I’ll see you next week.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where on Earth is Alexander?” 

Izzy whirled around at the sound of her father’s voice, her heart jumping to her throat. If Alec wasn’t in the institute, he must still be with Magnus. “Oh, he headed out for his doctor’s appointment early. He wanted to check on some mundanes we saved last week. They live near the clinic.” 

“Oh,” Robert stopped short, his shoulders heaving in a sigh. “Well, I wish he’d told someone where he was going. How did your patrol with Miss Fairchild go last night?”

“With Clary?” Izzy repeated, schooling her expression into a smile. “Great, she’s really getting the hang of it.”

Robert nodded, his eyes a little suspicious but not enough for Izzy to panic. “I heard she was quite critical of the shadowhunter way of life.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Izzy snorted. “She’ll be a good shadowhunter, though, I can feel it. She’s got good instincts. You should have seen her fighting the Circle, Dad, she was amazing considering she’d never had any training. She’s so-”

She glanced at Robert’s face, and upon processing the uneasy look on his face, abruptly cut herself off. 

“The girl seems to have made quite an impression around here,” Robert said, everything in him screaming at him that something wasn’t right, that there was something that his daughter was hiding from him, but he dismissed it for the moment. Maryse would deal with it when it became a problem. Izzy was already dressing better, he noticed, glancing over her knee length dress. She looked just like her mother, he realised, and quickly looked away as a sense of guilt stirred his heart.

“Morning,” Alec nodded at Izzy and his father as he walked in, two cups of coffee in his hand. “Sorry, didn’t realise you’d be here,” he muttered as he handed off one of the cups to Izzy. 

Robert seemed to relax at the sight of Alec, his eyes assessing his son’s appearance and deeming that nothing was out of the ordinary. Alec was wearing his binder, he looked somewhat refreshed, and the intent set to his eyebrows as he looked at Izzy told Robert that he was ready to get to work. “Glad you could join us, Alexander. You know, you really need to report all interactions with mundane victims to the Clave.”

“Oh, I’m sure Alec didn’t talk to those mundane victims we rescued last week,” Izzy said slowly, giving Alec a meaningful look, “he probably just glanced in through their window? Right?”

“Right,” Alec chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. Honestly he’d learned over the years just to go along with whatever story Izzy spun. 

“Excellent initiative, Alexander.” Robert smiled, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Alec shrugged a little, focussing on his coffee. He didn’t know the details of Izzy’s lie, so he wasn’t about to open his mouth and put his foot in it. “Anyway, I should go and tell your mother that you’re here. She was getting worried; she didn’t see you come in last night.”

“I didn’t really want to talk to anyone.” Alec explained, and Robert nodded, giving him another pat on the shoulder before leaving the room.

It was silent for a moment after Robert left, Izzy grinning from ear to ear with a teasing look in her eyes. “So…”

“Nothing happened,” Alec told her, feeling his ears go a little warm. “Magnus made cocktails. That’s it. We talked a little. But that’s really it.”

“That’s cute.”

“What’s cute about that?” Alec huffed, breathing in the steam coming out of the little hole in the top of his coffee cup. “It was just a conversation.”

“Did you talk about your feelings and shit?” Izzy demanded.

Alec shrugged. “Sort of.”

Izzy smacked his arm excitedly. “Then it’s cute!”

“Christ,” Alec muttered, rolling his eyes though he was smiling, his sister's enthusiasm catching. “What about you? Why are you dressed like Mom?” He asked, the smile falling from his face as he took in Izzy’s sombre appearance.

Izzy hesitated. “I broke up with Meliorn,” she told him.

“What? Why?”

“He was a little too much,” she said quietly, fixing her eyes on the screen in front of her. “Apparently I need someone a little more… Shadowhunter-ish.”

Alec sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Iz, you know I appreciate you taking some of the family heat. But you can’t change who you are.”

“Really?” Izzy drawled, following as Alec wandered over to his own station, “and you can?”

“I know who I am,” Alec insisted, “I’m the guy who’s about to be disowned when Dad finds out I got involved with a pack dispute and fraternized with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.” 

“That’s not funny,” Izzy hissed, grabbing his arm. “What Mom and Dad don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“Please, Iz,” Alec murmured, “I’ll figure out this marriage stuff with Mom and Dad, okay? Don’t put that pressure on yourself; I’m the eldest. It’s my job to look after you.”

“But they’ll-”

“Alec!” 

The Lightwood siblings turned at the sound of Alec’s name to see Clary hurrying towards them, looking around to check that the other shadowhunters milling around weren’t paying attention to them. “Alec, I found the cup.” 

“What?! Where is it?” Izzy asked, her eyes flicking up and down Clary’s form. It certainly wasn’t in her hands.

“I don’t have it yet. But I know where it is.” Clary explained.

Alec grinned. A good morning just turned into a great day. “Where is it? We need to retrieve it immediately.” 

“It’s in Dot’s tarot cards. My Mom painted them years ago for her, and I’m pretty sure that the Mortal Cup is hidden inside the Ace of Cups. The card looks exactly like it.” Clary explained, and Izzy and Alec exchanged a look.

“When you say hidden inside the card…” Izzy wondered, her eyes narrow as she tried to put the pieces together. 

Alec breathed in sharply through his nose. 

“Wait, why are you looking at me like I’m crazy? Mom painted the cup and put it in the card, it’s not that weird.” Clary chuckled, and Alec pursed his lips. “Right?”

“It means you have angelic powers, and so does your Mom.” Alec told her, “it’s rare for shadowhunters of our generation to have a bloodline pure enough.”

Clary shrugged. “Yeah, so? The point is we have to find the cards.”

“She’s right, we can figure out her lineage later, Alec.” Izzy pointed out. “You said that the tarot cards belonged to Dot?” 

“If Dot had the cards when she was taken, then we don’t have much time,” Alec sighed, running his hand through his hair. 

“Guys, it’s f-” Clary started, but Alec was already pacing back and forth.

“At least we know Valentine hasn’t figured it out yet; if he already had the cup something would’ve happened and we’d notice.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Izzy agreed, “we’d definitely know if he’d gained the ability to control demons and create shadowhunters.”

Clary rolled her eyes. “Dot doesn’t have the cards. Luke does.”

“The werewolf?” Alec asked, “how?” 

“When he was investigating the fire at my Mom’s loft, he found them and brought them to the precinct with all the other stuff he managed to save. He said they’re in his desk.” 

Izzy nodded, smiling. “It’ll be easy to infiltrate the NYPD. We can just use an invisibility rune, get in and out quickly.”

“Luke said that Valentine has spies in the NYPD; they were using the police resources to try and find me.” Clary sighed. “He’s going to meet us at the precinct, we’ll have to rely on him to get the cards.” 

Alec knew that his parents wouldn’t like that. “Let’s do it,” he nodded, “well done, Clary.” 

“We’ll have to take the subway, the precinct is miles away.” Clary shrugged, barely able to hide her preening at Alec’s compliment. It was hard to earn his approval, and she wanted so badly for him to trust her. 

“Grab an angel blade, who knows what’ll happen out there,” Izzy urged, heading over to the weapons table. 

Clary followed her, tangling their fingers together casually. Izzy yanked her hand away, eyes wide. “Uhh… Sorry?” Clary cringed, cheeks flaming pink.

“Not here,” Izzy muttered, her throat closing up at the thought of Robert still wandering around. If he knew…

“Okay,” Clary replied, biting her lip. Just like that, the pride that she’d felt thirty seconds before was gone, and her mood plummeted. 

Alec watched the exchange pensievely, his bow still on his shoulder. He hadn’t gotten a chance to take it off since he’d gotten back from Magnus’. He knew that his sister was hiding a part of herself to protect him, and he felt shitty about it. He resolved to talk to her about it later. 

The ride to the walk to the subway was silent, though Clary looked like she was a breath away from asking Izzy what was going on the whole way there. Alec sighed, and wrinkled his nose at the thought of what he was about to do, but Heaven knew that he’d do anything to keep his baby sister from hurting. 

“So… I stayed at Magnus’ last night.” Alec said casually as they boarded the subway, and it had precisely the intended effect, because both Clary and Izzy lit up. He felt like groaning out loud, but at least the attention was off Clary and Izzy’s sexual tension. 

“Did anything happen?!” Clary demanded, and Alec shrugged. 

“We talked. Oh, and I tossed my phone out the window.” 

Izzy snorted. “Mom called?”

“How did you know?” Alec asked sarcastically, which made both women laugh. “Magnus thought it was hilarious.”

“What did you talk about? He’s so easy to talk to, he’s such a sweet guy,” Clary enthused, batting her eyelashes teasingly at Alec, “definitely boyfriend material.”

“Boyfriend…” Alec choked, scratching his forehead, “no, no, I don’t think that’s what this is.”

“Why not?” Izzy pressed, “he’s so fucking hot, Alec, he’s a sweetheart, super smart, he’s really into you… What’s not to like?”

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Alec insisted, wishing that he’d been able to think of some other topic of conversation to distract them with. He couldn’t stop squirming under the weight of their enthusiasm.

Luckily, the subway journey was only ten minutes, and Alec was relieved to see Luke already waiting for them outside the precinct. He looked a lot better than he had the night before; there was pretty much no sign of injury. Werewolf healing truly was something, it seemed. 

“What can we do to help?” Izzy offered. 

“It’ll be easier if you all stay out here. I can get in and out without anyone thinking twice about it,” Luke replied. 

None of them could argue with that, so they let Luke walk off by himself. The moment he stepped in the door, two men in suits intercepted Luke, each of them taking one of his arms. Clary took a step towards them, ready to fight as always, but Alec grabbed her. Izzy activated a rune that gave her eagle vision, and groaned under her breath.

“They’re internal affairs agents,” she sighed, the three of them watching as Luke handed over his badge and his gun. “Presumably Luke is being investigated. He won’t be much help.”

“Alright, new plan.” Alec nodded. “Clary, try and sneak in with an invisibility rune. If someone looks at you, run and hide and text Izzy. We’ll go down to the basement and cut the lights so you’ll be able to get the cards and get out. You have your angel blade, right?”

“Right,” Clary nodded. “What do we do about Luke?”

Alec blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he didn’t do anything wrong!” 

Alec’s eyebrows furrowed. “Clary, we have the fate of the entire downworld in our hands. Luke can take care of himself, he’s the alpha. If he didn’t do anything wrong then internal affairs will let him go.” 

Clary sighed. Why was Alec always right? 

“Let’s move,” Alec pressed. 

It was easy to sneak through the first few floors of the precinct, and Clary reached the floor where Luke’s desk was with no problems. As she passed one of the interrogation rooms, one of the men in suits came out and she got a glimpse of Luke sitting at the table. Unable to resist, she slipped in through the open door. 

Luke’s eyes widened a little when he looked up and saw her standing there, and reached slowly for a tissue. “Camera,” he coughed, eyes darting up to the camera in the corner. Clary nodded and got up on tiptoes, unplugging the camera. 

“Luke, what is going on?” Clary demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

“I think I’m about to be the prime suspect in a murder investigation. It’s all mundanes, nothing to do with you guys. Just get the cards from the bottom drawer of my desk and get out of here.” He urged, “you have to find the mortal cup, and you cannot trust the Clave with it. You can’t trust the Lightwoods, either.” 

“The Lightwoods?” Clary frowned, “they were there for me when no-one else was. I trust them.”

“Clary, we don’t have time for this,” Luke grunted, “just trust me when I say that the Lightwoods are snakes.”

Clary pressed her lips together, not buying a word of it but knowing that they were running out of time before the man in a suit came back. “Alright.”

“You can’t use a glamour in there, there are werewolves as well as spies. Alaric could give you away on accident.” Luke explained. “You’ll have to think of another way.” 

Clary nodded, hovering at the door waiting for the man to open it once more. “Be careful.”

“Always am,” Luke promised, averting his eyes from her as the internal affairs officer pushed the door open and she slipped out. 

There was a storage closet right down the hall from the interrogation room, and after a quick glance around to make sure the coast was clear, Clary let herself in to deglamour herself. It took a couple of tries, but she managed it in the end, and luckily when she peeked out of the storage closet, the corridor was still empty. 

She wasn’t challenged by anyone as she walked into the office where Luke’s desk was; the rest of the cops knew her well enough not to question her presence. However, upon walking over to Luke’s desk, Detective Varga walked over to her. Clary put a harassed look on her face, and started rifling through Luke’s drawers. 

“What’s going on?” She asked, a cup of coffee in her hand. 

“I just broke up with my girlfriend,” Clary said quietly, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “I know Luke keeps a spare key here, I just need to find it.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Varga replied, “but all of the things in Luke’s desk went to the evidence locker.” 

“The evidence locker? Why? Is Luke okay?!” Clary demanded, hoping she was a better actress than she’d been in high school. Oak Tree number three wouldn’t do it here; she needed an Oscar-winning performance. 

Varga seemed to buy it. “Oh… Luke’s in a little trouble, but we’ll get it handled.” 

“Right. I’ll call him later,” Clary nodded, pulling out her phone to text Izzy. Hopefully they’d have a plan to get into the evidence locker. “Shoot, I gotta go. Simon’s calling. Guess I’ll just crash at his place until I can find another key.”

“See you later, Clary!” Varga smiled, watching her as she hurried out the door towards the elevator. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The cards are in evidence lockup. We’ll have to sneak in there once we kill the lights. Clary’s gonna meet us by the elevators once I’ve turned off the lights.” Izzy reported to Alec, and he sighed. 

“Right. Well, we’ll have to get a pass off one of these mundanes.” 

Izzy dragged him into the lobby of the precinct, and pointed towards the receptionist. She was a couple of years older than Alec, and her pass was sitting right on the edge of her desk. “You’re up, big brother.”

“What do you mean, up?” Alec asked grimly. He didn’t like the mischievous grin on Izzy’s face.

“You’re gonna be the distraction. I don’t think I’m her type.”

“You’re everyone’s type.” Alec countered, but Izzy smirked, tilting her head to the side. 

“It’ll be good practise for when you ask out Magnus.” Izzy encouraged, undoing a couple of the buttons on his shirt. 

“What? What are you doing? This is not really my… Department.” Alec swatted her hands away, sighing as he looked over at the receptionist.

“Come on. You do this sort of stuff all the time. I saw you batting your eyelashes at Magnus before I left last night. You got this.”

Alec honestly would rather face a nest of Shax demons with no bow than ineptly flirt with a mundane woman, but the mission called for it. “Fine. Fine. Ughhh…” He flexed his neck a little, psyching himself up as he walked over to the front desk. He told himself to just imagine that the receptionist was a guy, but that made him even more nervous. He could only wish that the smile he plastered on his face was somewhat charming. “Hey… You.”

The receptionist glanced up, and quirked an eyebrow at him. “Can I help you?” 

“Yeah, uh…” He leaned on the desk, tilting his head to the side like Izzy so often did in these situations. A pick-up line. He needed a pick-up line. “Y-you come here often?”

Fuck.

She actually snorted at him. “I work here. What can I help you with?” 

“Right, right…” Alec nodded, eyes darting over the desk. Flirting was not going to work; he’d known that before he even reached her, and he saw an opportunity in the open bottle of water sitting next to her keyboard. “Yeah, I’m looking for some information. Oh, look, there it is!” He knocked the bottle of water as he reached for the leaflets. “Oh, wow, I am so sorry. It’s everywhere.” 

“Just… Just go, please.” The receptionist begged as he grabbed some leaflets with one hand, the other flicking the pass off the desk and right into Izzy’s hands. 

“I’m so sorry. Thank you so much.” Alec slipped away towards the elevator and was relieved to see Clary standing there, though he felt a little sheepish at the look on her face. Evidently, she’d watched his interaction with the receptionist. “Don’t say a word,” he warned her.

“I would never,” Clary teased, following Alec into the elevator. “Where’s Izzy?”

“She’s killing the power. Do you have a Nyx rune yet?”

Clary grimaced. “Remind me which one that is, again?”

“Night vision.”

“Then no,” Clary admitted. Alec pulled up his shirt and binder, showing her the shape of the rune on his stomach as he activated it. Clary nodded, and quickly drew one on her own stomach. “Oh my God, please don’t tell me we’re climbing the elevator shaft.”

Alec grinned. “Hey, this mission has been hell for me so far; let me have my fun.”

All of a sudden, the lights went out. Izzy knocked on the door from the outside a moment later, and Alec helped her to heave them open as the mundanes outside ran for the door like a bunch of headless chickens. 

“I hate to be that girl but I really don’t have the upper body strength for this,” Clary pointed out as Alec lifted Izzy up into the elevator shaft. 

Izzy smiled at her. “Clary, you have runes for a reason.” 

“Oh… Right, of course.” 

The three of them climbed in silence, Alec bringing up the rear. By the time they got to the evidence vault, Alec’s lungs were starting to protest, and he etched an iratze into his wrist. Izzy gave him a worried glance.

“I’ll keep watch,” Alec told them, “go in and get the cards.”

Clary nodded, ducking into the vault. Izzy gave Alec a long look before following. 

“What is all this stuff?” Izzy asked, “there’s no way this is all useful information.”

“Bureaucracy is the NYPD’s specialty,” Clary smiled at the memory of Luke’s catchphrase for every time he had to work late doing paperwork. “Come on, it has to be here somewhere. Luke’s last name is Garroway.”

Izzy hummed, running her fingertips along the boxes as they walked down the aisles. “Alright, this is the Internal Affairs section, so it should be right around here.”

“Got it,” Clary murmured, yanking a box off the shelf and bringing it over to a nearby table. Most of the things in the box were photographs of Luke, Clary and her mother, and Clary hesitated over them a moment. Izzy put her hand on Clary’s shoulder. 

“We don’t have time, Clary. We need the cards.” She reminded the redhead gently.

“Right,” Clary nodded, tipping the box onto its side. The tarot cards slipped out, and Clary snatched up the one on top; the Ace of Cups. 

Izzy gasped. “You’re right, it looks just like the Mortal Cup.” 

Clary put her fingers to the card, eyebrows furrowing at the solid feeling of it. There was a moment of tense silence as she tried again and again to reach into the painting, but nothing happened. “What?”

“Just bring the card, we’ll figure it out back at the institute.” Izzy urged her. Clary stashed the card in her bag, and they went to meet up with Alec, who looked a little better. 

“Did you get it?” He asked, leading the way towards the stairs.

“Theoretically,” Clary told him as they seamlessly blended into the mundanes evacuating the precinct. 

“Theoretically?”

“I just need to figure out how I reached into my notebook before, it’ll be fine. We have the card, that’s what matters.” Clary explained under her breath as they walked down the stairs. Alec sighed, relief flooding through him.

“When we get back to the institute, we’ll have all the time in the world to figure out how to get it out. We just need to keep it out of Valentine’s hands.” Izzy pointed out, breathing a sigh of relief as they finally broke free from the precinct, the crowd of police dispersing as they hit the courtyard. 

“We’d better get out of here,” Clary agreed, “we did just steal from the cops.” 

“Uhhh… The cops are the least of our worries,” Izzy said, looking down at her necklace. It was glowing, and pulsing vibrations into her collarbone.

“Demons,” Alec hissed, “let’s go.” 

They started walking towards the subway, Alec and Izzy veering away from the shapeshifter demons as they spotted them and dragging Clary along. After the third, Clary huffed. 

“How do you see them?” She demanded.

“It’s like seeing through a glamour, you need to pay attention to the details. Look at their eyes.” Alec urged her, scanning each person who came towards them. 

Clary narrowed her eyes, looking around them. “There’s too many people, we need a new plan.”

“Clary’s right. We need cover.” Izzy agreed, and Alec nodded, following as Clary led them the other way, towards the sewers. 

As they reached the sewers, Alec stopped, and turned to face the two women. “I’ll stay here and hold them off your tail. You need to get the card back to the institute.”

“We’re not leaving you.” Clary insisted.

Alec deglamoured his bow, and shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Got plenty of arrows.”

“He’s right, Clary, he’s handled worse,” Izzy smiled, shooting Alec an encouraging look. “But if your ribs start hurting again you get out of here and follow us, right?”

“I promise,” Alec nodded. “Now go.” 

Izzy had to more or less drag Clary the first few feet, but eventually the redhead relented and started running alongside Izzy, and Alec notched an arrow, aiming it at the door. He was good at waiting, though he had a feeling he wouldn’t have to wait long. He heard a howl outside, and frowned. Werewolves?

Luke barrelled through the door, and Alec lowered his bow. “What are you doing here?” The wolf asked, and Alec shrugged.

“Giving Izzy and Clary a head start. You the same, I assume?” 

Luke nodded, coming to stand next to Alec. “The shapeshifters have more or less given up; we’ve got shax demons on the way, though. Mind if I shift?”

“Course not,” Alec assured him, aiming once more at the door as Luke’s bones started to crack and reform. “Are we expecting the rest of your pack, or can I shoot the next thing that comes through the-” 

The door burst open, and three shax demons scuttled in. Alec shot two of them as Luke straightened up in wolf form, grabbing the third shax demon in his jaws and ripping it apart. Alec couldn’t help but feel a little excited at the prospect of fighting a bunch of demons alongside a downworlder; werewolves were known to be incredible fighters. Luke seemed to sense this, and looked up at him. His face wasn’t as expressive in that form, but Alec could tell that Luke was rolling his eyes at him. He laughed a little, shaking his head as another wave of demons streamed through the door. 

Meanwhile, Clary and Izzy were making good progress in utter silence, the awkwardness growing by the minute. Eventually, Clary couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Iz, I’m sorry if I almost outed you. I didn’t know you were still in the closet, I’m sorry.” She said, sucking on her lower lip.

Izzy sighed. “I’m not in the closet, exactly. I just… I’m not out to my parents. It doesn’t matter that I’m bisexual, really. I need to marry a man.” 

“Uhhh…” Clary frowned, still keeping pace with the other woman, “I mean, I’m pretty sure there’s no law that says… Oh. Can shadowhunters not marry their own gender?” 

“No. And even if they could, that wouldn’t be any good for the Lightwoods. I…” Izzy rubbed her forehead. “I have to have kids, Clary. Biological kids, with another strong shadowhunter family. The Lightwood bloodline has to continue.” 

Clary was silent for a moment, eyebrows in her hairline. “What year is this, 1800? You know how fucked that sounds, right?!”

“Yeah,” Izzy nodded, swallowing hard. “I know, it’s fucked up. But I can’t do anything about it. I have to marry, Clary. For Alec. For my family. If I don’t marry soon, then Alec will have to. And I can’t do that to him, you saw what he was like with Magnus. And then you saw him try to flirt with that woman today. He’d die.” 

“Why are you both so intent on pleasing your parents?” Clary asked, “like, you realise that you don’t physically have to do anything they say, right?” 

Izzy’s chest heaved. “You… You wouldn’t understand. I know you’re trying to look out for me and Alec, but there are some things shadowhunters have to do. I just… I can’t be with you, Clary.” 

Clary stopped in the middle of the sewer, swallowing a few times. “Right. Right… Whatever you want, Iz.” 

Izzy turned to look at her. “What do you want me to do, Clary? Give up my entire career, get kicked out of the shadowhunter society, for a girl I met a week ago? Clary, I’m sorry, it’s not realistic. I have to protect Alec.” 

“I get it, I-I do,” Clary insisted, sniffing. “Just hurts. But I’ll get over it, it’s fine. You have to do what you think is right.” 

They could barely see each other in the dark, their nyx runes worn off by now, standing ten foot apart. Izzy so badly wanted to go to Clary’s side, but she couldn’t afford to fall. She couldn’t afford to lose sight of her duty. 

“Iz, the necklace.” Clary gasped, running towards the other woman. The amulet was pulsing again, the flashes of light growing closer together as they found themselves in a large room. “Where are they?”

“I don’t know, they should be right here but I can’t see them.” The two of them circled, back to back, angel blades drawn. It was hard to see in the low light, but Clary saw movement in the darkness, and managed to cut own a shax demon as it leapt towards her. It seemed that one signalled to the others to attack, because in the next moment they started coming from all around them, Izzy and Clary working together to kill them. 

“We should’ve stuck together, we need Alec,” Clary panted, flicking her stele across her stamina rune as they finished the first wave, granting themselves a moment to regroup. 

“No, we need to split up. They won’t be able to track us that way. You head for the institute, I’ll try and lead them away and meet you back there.” Izzy urged, activating a few runes of her own. “It’s only a few blocks. You’ve got this, Clary. Just keep running.” 

Clary opened her mouth to argue, but Izzy looked determined, so she thought better of it and headed off down the sewer that Izzy had pointed to. She heard the shax demons start chittering behind her in the room where Izzy was still stationed, but she’d seen Izzy in training. She could handle herself. 

In the stress of the situation, Izzy must have pointed towards the wrong sewer, because Clary found herself at a dead end, and her heart crept up into her throat as she heard the skittering sounds of the demons running down after her. Panic attempted to overcome her, but she squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the tarot card holding the cup from her bag. She took a deep breath and reached in, relief flooding through her as she felt the hard, cold surface of the Mortal Cup. She yanked it out of the painting and brandished it just as the shax demons came hurtling around the corner. 

“Get back!” She shouted, the sound of it echoing down the sewer and giving her goosebumps, but sure enough, the shax demon hesitated and ran back the way they came from, Clary following them until she got back to the room where she’d left Izzy. The room seemed to be empty, no sign of either Izzy or the demons, and Clary put the cup back in her bag. “Izzy?” She called, looking around. 

“Clary!” Izzy replied, appearing from round the corner, and Clary ran to her, concern flooding her face as she saw a small cut on Izzy’s cheek. 

“You’re hurt.”

Izzy shrugged off her touch. “I’ll be fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clary answered, “I’m fine. One of the shax demons cornered me, but I got the cup. I don’t know, my instincts must’ve just shown me how to do it. I did it. I’m a shadowhunter.”

Izzy blinked, a faint smile on her face. “That’s great. Now give me the cup and we’ll go.”

“Give you the cup?” Clary repeated, chuckling a little. Her eyebrows furrowed when Izzy didn’t start laughing. 

“Yes, until we get back to the institute. I can keep you safe. I’ll die before I let anything happen to you.” 

Clary took a step back, eyes flicking all over the face of the shapeshifter demon. As she looked, she saw that ‘Izzy’s’ eyes weren’t quite right; they were cloudy and ingenuine. There was no affection, no weight to them. “Yeah, you’re totally right,” she murmured, wrapping her fingers slowly around the hilt of her angel blade. 

In a sharp movement, she wrenched the blade forward and into the shapeshifter’s stomach, making it bend over a little, gasping for breath. 

“Clary…” It rasped, eyes fluttering, and for a moment Clary faltered, wondering if she’s made a huge mistake, but then its eyes turned blue and its mouth opened into those awful jaws, and Clary twisted the blade, making the demon erupt in a shower of orange sparks. 

She stood there for a moment, trembling a little, looking down at the blade in her hands. 

“Clary!” It was Luke’s voice, and Clary spun around, brandishing her weapon. Alec, or something that looked like Alec, stood next to Luke.

“Get back! How do I know you’re Luke?!”

Luke raised his hands. “I got you spray paint for your birthday. What happened?” 

Clary lowered the angel blade slowly, her eyes on Alec as he surveyed the room. “Demons. Izzy and I split up, she led them away, I think. Long story.”

“You can tell us on the way to the institute,” Alec murmured, patting her on the shoulder. “We thought you might need some help, but apparently not. You’re on fire today, huh?”

“Let’s get going,” Clary insisted, not wanting to stay in this room a moment longer, “they could come back any second.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, I’ve got the pack on the lookout. They’ll sort out any demons still after us.” Luke assured them, and Clary cracked a smile.

“Look at you, leader of the pack.” 

Luke shrugged. “It has its perks. For now, let’s go.”

“Yeah, Izzy’ll be back by now.” Alec agreed, “lead the way, Miss Fray, hero of the hour.” 

Clary snorted, and shoved him a little on her way past him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the institute, Izzy was absolutely frantic. She’d realised that she’d directed Clary down the wrong tunnel just as she was getting back, and had everyone in the control centre looking for signs of demon activity. 

She wouldn’t know what she’d do if she’d led Clary to her death. 

“Listen up, everyone!” She insisted, “I want this entire institute on high alert, I want everyone looking for Clary Fray down in the sewers. Nothing else matters except Clary.”

“Izzy!” 

Izzy turned round to see Clary running down the steps towards her, and Izzy’s heart thudded painfully in her chest as Clary flew into her arms. They hugged tightly, Izzy burying her face in Clary’s hair. Relief made tears spring to her eyes, and as Clary pulled back, Izzy’s hands came up to cup her face. 

Alec watched from the sidelines, warm and a little worried at the same time. Izzy was effectively outing herself, right here and now, and that fact made him proud and scared. Mostly, though, he just felt jealous that Izzy was brave enough to take what she wanted, and he wasn’t.

“I did it. I got the cup.” Clary told Izzy, eyes alight with pride. 

Izzy laughed, shaking her head. “I don’t care about the cup. All that matters is that you came back to me. I thought I led you down the wrong tunnel, that you got lost...”

“You did,” Clary shrugged, “but I handled it. I pulled out the cup and told the demon to fuck off. And it did.”

“Did you use those exact words?” Izzy grinned, caressing Clary’s cheek. Clary leaned into her touch, and swallowed hard.

“Right before Luke and Alec showed up, there was a shapeshifter demon. It looked just like you, and I had to kill it. It was horrible.”

Izzy hummed, reaching down to squeeze Clary’s hands. “How could you tell it wasn’t me.”

“It was easy, in the end,” Clary admitted, “I couldn’t see any love in her eyes. You would never look at me with eyes that empty.”

Izzy opened her mouth to respond, but all she could think to do was kiss her. 

Clary’s hands tightened on hers as she registered Izzy’s soft lips against her own, but she soon grabbed onto the other woman’s shoulders, kissing her hard. Izzy’s hands ended up in Clary’s hair, holding her gently as their lips moved together. 

Alec’s stomach dropped as Maryse walked into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually do cliffhangers but I couldn't help myself. Yell at me for it in the comments!
> 
> You definitely won't have to wait as long for the next chapter - should be up in about two weeks or less.


	8. Episode 8: Bad Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmaooo remember how I said it would be two weeks max? WELL.... This one is long, lmao. It comes out at almost 13,000 words, so it took a little longer than anticipated. 
> 
> This one is kinda sad. There's a lot of hard scenes.They are interspersed with some lovely scenes of Izzy and Alec's sibling devotion to each other, a very soft Clizzy scene, and a nice scene between Luke and Clary, but yeah, I'm warning you, you may cry! I cried like three times while writing it OOPS
> 
> ALSO, if you're looking for Lydia/Alec brotp, that is not what's gonna happen here. As I said on Twitter a couple of weeks ago: There will be no Alec/Lydia brotp - Lydia is a focussed career woman making what she believes in a mutually beneficial political move, and she won't be as featured in the plot as she was in the show. That whole storyline with her and Alec will be very different. That's not to say I'm gonna make Lydia a heinous bitch either! She's pretty much lawful neutral. You won't love her but you won't hate her either (or maybe you will, that's your perogative lmao) Basically I'm over this fanfic trope of Lydia being a Gay Ally(TM) for doing the bare fucking minimum and not insisting that Alec had to marry her when he was having a panic attack lmao.
> 
> So, without further ado: trigger warnings!
> 
> HOMOPHOBIA: The fallout from Clizzy's kiss is rough, as you probably all would've guessed. Maryse is a nightmare about it, but Alec calls her out. 
> 
> EMOTIONAL ABUSE/MANIPULATION: Maryse manipulates/guilt trips Alec into things he doesn't really want to do. It's not fun, but keep in mind Alec does get a happy ending!
> 
> TRANSPHOBIA: Maryse is very flippant about Alec's surgery and dismissive of Alec's feelings on the matter. Lydia """"""accepts"""""" Alec but insists that he must get "all the surgery" before she'll consider him her husband/fiance.
> 
> INTERNALISED TRANSPHOBIA?: Alec refers to himself as 'not a real man', but he uses air quotes around it - he's being sarcastic/satirical. However, later, Magnus walks in on him wearing a sports bra and he refers to himself as 'not decent' because he's ashamed of his chest etc.
> 
> DEPICTIONS OF GRIEF: Simon dies, and Clary is obviously grieving.
> 
> RACISM: Lydia is racist. She calls downworlders 'demonic beings' and ignores Luke's concerns and expertise whenever possible. Alec calls her out on it, and Magnus calls her family ancestry out on it... It's iconic.
> 
> INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA/SELF HATRED/ALEC BEING A SILLY GOOSE: Alec proposes to Lydia. ALEC WHY

Everyone in the room was staring at Izzy and Clary, utterly silent. Alec cringed at the sound of their lips smacking together, not daring to glance at his mother, who had stopped dead in the doorway. After a long, tense moment, the two women in the centre of the room seemed to come back to themselves, and broke apart. 

“What did I just do?” Izzy whispered, her wide eyes fixed on Clary’s.

Clary pressed her lips together, her expression warm and relieved. It took her a minute, but Alec saw the realisation dawn on her face as she looked around at the shadowhunters staring at them. “Oh come on,” she laughed nervously, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “It’s the 21st Century.”

Izzy squeezed her eyes shut, and Alec, as freaked out as he was, couldn’t stop himself from leaping over the rail he’d been leaning on and crossing to her side. Izzy’s fingers had turned white from how hard she was gripping onto Clary’s hand, and Alec took her elbow. 

“Hey,” he said softly, “I’m proud of you.” He didn’t know what the fuck they were going to do to fix the rage he could sense rolling off their mother over by the door, but he knew that Izzy needed to hear his voice, right now. 

“Should I not have…?” Clary asked, the euphoria she’d felt at the kiss totally gone.

“Everyone, get back to work.” Maryse’s voice made all three of them tense, and the shadowhunters who’d been watching and whispering dispersed. 

Izzy and Alec looked at each other for a long, long moment, squeezing each others’ hands, and then glanced at the doorway.

Maryse was gone.

“Fucking hell,” Izzy murmured, letting Alec go and pulling Clary into a hug. 

Clary rubbed her back, looking over Izzy’s shoulder at Alec with a frown. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure this out.” 

“I’ll go and talk her down,” Alec promised, though he could feel the anxiety blooming hot in his chest as Izzy let Clary go and turned to look at him. “I’ll fix this. You… This was the right thing. This is good.” 

Izzy sighed, putting her hand on his chest. “Don’t promise her anything stupid. You don’t owe her a deal. This is my mess to fix.” 

“I’ll check in on you later, yeah?” He nodded, unable to lie to her. He knew full well that the minute Izzy had kissed Clary in front of everyone, she’d inadvertently sealed his fate. 

Maryse was in the office, and Alec felt ill at the memory of what had happened the last time he’d spoken to his mother, and the last time he was in this room. He didn’t knock, squaring his shoulders as he walked into the room. Maryse was looking out the window, hands knotted tightly together behind her back. Alec perched on the edge of the desk. 

“Clary could be a good political match for Izzy if we bring down Valentine.” Alec stated. “Clary is a Fairchild. If she is the one to bring in Valentine she will be one of the most influential people in the Clave overnight. Izzy could do worse.”

“Have you forgotten,” Maryse said coldly, “that Miss Fairchild is a woman?” 

Alec sighed, looking up at the bookshelves. It was easier, with the two of them looking away from each other. He could be businesslike, not let his feelings get in the way. “Yes, she is. Which means that Izzy and Clary’s partnership could go down in history. Izzy Lightwood will be remembered forever as the first openly sapphic shadowhunter. You always wanted a place in history.” 

“Do you hear yourself, Alexander?!” Maryse sounded almost hysterical. “How on Earth are the Lightwoods meant to go on if Isabelle shacks up with a woman and you transition? Max will be our only hope, if we can hold on that long…” 

“We don’t need to pop out babies to matter, mother. Izzy is worth more than her goddamn womb.” Alec insisted, “besides, they could adopt. Get a donor. Whatever. We have options. What we should be focussing on, what you should be focussing on, is making sure that Izzy is happy.”

Maryse shook her head. “Do you think Isabelle will be happy when she’s shut out of Clave missions? Do you think she’ll be happy to lose her career?” 

“Oh, come on.” Alec snapped, getting to his feet and walking around the desk to look his mother in the eye. This was long overdue. “Stop pretending that this outrage is for our benefit. You are freaked out at the thought of your precious little girl being queer, just like you can barely look at your fucked up eldest whenever he reminds you that he has a goddamn vagina. Isn’t that right? Come on, mother, admit it.” He taunted, raising his chin. “You hate the sight of us.” 

To her credit, Maryse looked horrified at Alec’s words, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I could never hate the sight of either of you. Ever. I’m scared, Alec. The two of you scare me. What you mean. My whole life, all I’ve been focussed on is getting you and Isabelle institutes of your own to run. And I just don’t know how that is going to happen with the two of you both so determined to ruin yourselves. You don’t know the Clave like I do, Alec. The second that your father and I are gone, they will cut you off. We are the only things standing between you and a deruning, do you understand that? They will use any excuse to get rid of the two of you.”

“Why?” Alec demanded, “why are they so threatened by us? We’ve done nothing wrong.” 

“Shadowhunter numbers are dwindling, year on year. If people like you see you and Izzy as examples, if more and more shadowhunters start getting into same sex relationships and transitioning, what do you think will happen to the birth rate of shadowhunters? This isn’t just about you and Izzy. The Clave will see it as a threat to the future of our race.” Maryse explained, rubbing up and down Alec’s arms. “If we were mundanes, I would support the two of you with my whole heart. But we don’t have that luxury, Alexander. You have to marry someone. You have to. Soon.” 

Alec had to admit, he hadn’t thought of that. It was a horrific, heartless suggestion; that the Clave wanted to keep queer people in the closet, but… He could understand. Shadowhunters were needed to protect mundanes. They needed the numbers. The whole point of being a shadowhunter was that you put your own selfish desires aside for the greater good.

Izzy deserved to have happiness. Alec would have to protect her, work hard, climb to the top, to keep her safe from the Clave. He couldn’t bear to think of her living a lie. 

“Who do you have in mind?” Alec asked quietly, taking a step back away from his mother. 

Maryse inhaled sharply through her nose, and closed her eyes, letting the relief wash over her. She knew Alec would see sense. “We have a few possibilities. For now, focus on getting the Mortal Cup while your father and I vet the girls. The moment the Cup is in Clave hands, we’ll schedule your top surgery, and…” 

“I’m only getting surgery if you let a warlock do it.” Alec told her, “I know you don’t think it’s possible, but I am not risking getting turned into a forsaken in a surgery I’m not even sure I want. That’s the deal. I’ll get top surgery if you find a warlock to do it. I’ll think some more about bottom surgery, look into my options. I promise.” 

Maryse pursed her lips, but she could see that Alec wasn’t going to budge on it. “I’ll reach out to Ragnor Fell in Idris and see if he knows of any warlocks with medical training. You’ll feel so much better once you get your breasts removed, Alec, you’ll be so happy. You’ll be healed in no time and then we can start introducing you to some young women in Idris. I heard that the Lovelace girl is looking for a suitor, perhaps…”

Alec tuned out his mother and the excited light in her eyes, trying to focus on not vomiting. Trying to focus on breathing nice and slow. He couldn’t afford to lose his mind again and end up at-

Magnus’.

Alec’s breath caught in his throat, and he felt tears welling hotly in his eyes. He had to stay away from Magnus, he had to make sure he didn’t make another mistake. He had to focus on surgery, his duty, marrying a girl. The moment he had the cup, or the moment his mother knew he had the cup. He’d give himself a few days, to prepare. To mourn the life he could’ve had if he wasn’t a Lightwood.

“I’m late for training,” Alec said, his voice sounding far away to his own ears, and left the room on autopilot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m so glad we got away from that crowd, all those people…” Izzy murmured, tugging Clary into her room, “it’s so intense.”

Clary swallowed hard, sitting on the edge of Izzy’s bed. “You don’t regret it, do you?”

“Everything happened so fast,” Izzy sat down next to her, putting her head on Clary’s shoulder. “I didn’t have time to think. I thought that the demons had you, I thought for sure you were hurt, and then you were there, and looking at me like…”

“Like I care for you?” Clary asked, smiling into Izzy’s hair. 

Izzy hummed. “Exactly. I just forgot about everything else; I knew I had to kiss you.” 

“Well,” Clary laughed gently, “at least you skipped the awkward coming out dinner.” 

Izzy snorted, her arm looping around Clary’s waist as Clary’s hand landed in her hair. “That’s one way to look at it. My parents are going to be furious. And Alec…”

“Hey,” Clary nudged her, ducking her head to make eye contact, “let’s worry about that later, okay? We have the mortal cup, we’re both crazy about each other… Life is good. Sure, maybe tomorrow will suck, but we’ll get through it. Promise.” 

“Promise is a strong word, Fray. I’ll hold you to it.” Izzy said, her eyes soft with affection. 

Clary held up her pinky finger. Izzy raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s a pinky swear. You lock your pinky fingers together and then promise on it. Damn, don’t shadowhunters have childhoods?” 

“Barely,” Izzy smiled, twisting her pinky finger around Clary’s. 

“I swear that we will get through whatever bullshit your parents throw at us, and we’ll make sure Alec doesn’t break his back bending over backwards for them.” 

“That’s a big ask,” Izzy sighed, snuggling into the crook of Clary’s neck, “he’s got the world’s biggest martyr complex.”

“He’ll be alright.” Clary offered, her voice soft. Izzy’s hair was so soft between her fingers, the dark curls twisting around her knuckles as she slowly raked them through the long strands. Izzy hummed happily, sated and sleepy all of a sudden. “Hey, you want to lie down?” 

“Yeah, you’re sending me to sleep.” Izzy laughed softly, pulling away to scoot up the bed, landing with her head on the pillows. 

Clary followed, unclipping her bra under her shirt and tugging it out through her sleeve before lying down. “It’s been a long day. We’ll meet up with Alec tomorrow morning and decide what to do with the cup, but for now, we should get some sleep.” 

“I’m not gonna argue with that,” Izzy murmured, shifting closer to the other woman and slinging her arm around Clary’s waist. “I hope you’re a cuddly sleeper.”

“I can cope with it for you,” Clary smirked, knowing full well she was going to gently roll away the moment Izzy fell asleep. They lay facing each other, Clary’s fingers drawing gentle circles up and down Izzy’s back as Izzy stroked the soft skin of Clary’s waist where her shirt had ridden up. Their feet were tangled together, and Clary sighed out loud at the calm that washed over her. Perhaps she’d been a tad touch-starved.

Izzy was wide awake, now. She’d been so ready to fall asleep, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how soft Clary’s skin was, how pretty she looked with her eyes closed. Her eyelashes were so long, brushing against her cheeks. Izzy was struck with the absurd urge to squish the other woman’s face between her hands, and she smiled slightly, burrowing her nose into Clary’s cheek, her arm tightening around the other woman’s middle. 

“God, you really are a cuddler,” Clary teased, the flat of her hand warm against Izzy’s back. 

“Deal with it, Fray, you pinkie promised to never leave me.”

“That’s not exactly what the pinky promise was, Iz,” Clary snorted, brushing her lips against Izzy’s forehead. 

“Well, you’re stuck with me, so suck it up.” 

Clary laughed, hitching her leg over Izzy’s thigh. “Alright, alright. I’ll deal.” It wasn’t that it was unpleasant, being this close to Izzy, but Clary knew it would be difficult to sleep with Izzy’s body heat radiating into her. 

It was worth it to hear the long, happy hum that Izzy let out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think we should give the Cup to the Clave. We could use a fake to lure Valentine.” Izzy suggested the next morning, hands on her hips. “It’s too dangerous to dangle the real thing in front of him; if he got hold of it, it’d be the end of the downworld for sure.” 

Clary shook her head. “If he realises it’s a fake before we get away from him, he’ll kill us all for sure. He’s no idiot, is he?” 

“I’d rather him kill us than the entire downworld.” Izzy shrugged, “it would be a low price to pay.” 

“No-one’s dying.” Alec insisted, staring at the screen that monitored the wards around the institute. “I hate to say it, but for now, I agree with Clary. The cup should be kept here, secretly. If no-one knows it’s here, it can’t fall into the wrong hands.” 

“But you don’t think we should use it, do you?” Izzy asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

Alec pressed his lips into a hard line. “I haven’t decided yet. All I know is that Clary has to bring in Valentine.” 

“Why me?” Clary frowned. 

“Because if you bring in Valentine, the Clave will consider you a hero, and you and Izzy will have an easier time of it. You and Izzy need to take the credit for this mission.”

“What about you? You need the favour with the Clave more than us if you’re going to date Magnus.” Izzy pointed out. Alec looked sharply at her. 

“Forget Magnus. I can take him or leave him; you two need to be protected.” Alec insisted, running his hand through his hair.

“Uhhh… No. That’s bullshit.” Izzy argued. “You care about Magnus like I care about Clary. If I get my happy ending, you’re getting yours too.” 

Alec groaned softly, shaking his head. “That’s not how this works, Iz. Something has to give, we have to compromise somewhere.” 

“Hey,” Clary interrupted, catching Izzy’s elbow before she could launch into a tirade, “we’ll figure out what to do about our personal lives later. For now, we have to decide whether we’re going to go after Valentine by ourselves or involve the Clave.”

Before either Lightwood could open their mouth to argue their point of view, a claxon started going off in the ops centre. Alec looked back at the monitor. 

“A demon-blooded creature tried to cross the wards.” He noticed, grabbing his bow. “Let’s go and check it out.” 

Izzy and Clary followed him, taking angel blades off the weapons rack as they went. The three of them descended the stairs at the front of the institute, weapons raised and ready, their bodies coiled tight with tension. Izzy spotted him first, the vampire from the Hotel DuMort who’d let Simon go. He was standing in the shadows, carrying something big. Izzy wordlessly nudged Alec and Clary and pointed to his silhouette. 

“Don’t shoot!” The vampire called, “I have something you want.” 

Alec frowned, and lowered his bow slowly. “Come into the light.” He ordered, and the three of them watched as the vampire walked into the path, under the glow of the streetlamp. 

He was carrying a body.

“I didn’t kill him!” The vampire insisted, walking towards them. Izzy growled under her breath, but Alec put a restraining hand on her shoulder. 

“Is it a mundane?”

“It’s Simon!” Clary screamed, her stomach dropping to her feet. The angel blade she’d been brandishing clattered to the floor as she sprinted towards the vampire, her green eyes wide with shock as she took in the pale stillness of her oldest friend, cradled in the vampire’s arms. “No… No… This isn’t real…”

“Clary,” Izzy said her name like a prayer, going to the redhead’s side. “I’m sorry.” 

Alec hung back, regarding the vampire suspiciously. “Why did you bring him here?”

“I knew the mundane was important to the shadowhunters. And I want to expose Camille as the monster she is. My name’s Raphael Santiago. You need to arrest Camille.” Raphael insisted, “your pet mundane is not the first she’s killed.”

“Alright, let’s… Let’s get him inside,” Alec breathed, avoiding looking at Clary, who was sobbing into Izzy’s shoulder. “We’ll put him in the morgue; no-one will look there. Mr Santiago, if you could join us. You’re going to need to answer some questions.”

Raphael nodded, handing Simon off to Alec. “I’ll co-operate fully with your investigation.” 

“Come on, Clary, let’s go inside,” Izzy coaxed Clary off her shoulder, squeezing her hand as they followed Raphael and Alec through the side door and down to the morgue. 

Alec was used to death. As acting head of the institute, he’d seen a lot of it, investigated dozens of murders, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a stirring of genuine sadness at Simon’s passing. He glanced down at the mundane’s face as he placed him gently on the table, Clary rushing forward with a cardboard box to support his head. Simon had been kind to him, even when Alec pushed him away. He’d been a little clueless and sometimes got in the way, sure, but Alec had to admit to himself that he’d miss his anxious chattering. 

Of course, Simon’s behaviour over the last couple of weeks made sense now. He must have gotten hooked on vampire venom when he was held at the Hotel DuMort. They should have noticed. 

“People will be wondering what we found outside the perimeter,” Alec said quietly as Clary started stroking Simon’s hair. “I’ll go and tell them that we didn’t find anything. Nobody will come down here, you’ll have your privacy. Izzy, can you take a statement from Mr Santiago?” 

Izzy nodded, and Alec headed back upstairs, his heart heavy. He’d failed Simon.

“I may be a vampire,” Raphael drawled, looking around the morgue, “but I was raised a good Catholic. The mundane deserves justice.” He crossed himself over Simon’s body, and Izzy rubbed Clary’s back.

“The vampires breached the Accords. This could be grounds for war if the Clave finds out.” She told Raphael, her eyes narrow. 

Raphael regarded her coolly. “The vampires were not behind this. It was Camille. I have witnesses that will attest to that. She attacked Simon on her own; we thought that he was going to be a simple hostage. She was the one who bit him and got him hooked on venom.”

“Of course you would say that,” Izzy’s chest was heaving with emotion, “you don’t want to be implicated.”

“I could have gotten rid of the body and you’d never have found him. But instead I brought him here. The mundane was annoying, but he was brave. Even had the guts to try and stab me,” Raphael smiled faintly at the memory. “Like I said, he deserves justice, and I don’t want trouble with the shadowhunters.” 

Izzy pursed her lips. Raphael had a point, but she also had a feeling that there was more in it for Raphael than justice. 

“I warned him to stay away, but it was too late. Camille had given him a taste of her blood and he kept coming back for more. It was only a matter of time before she killed him.” 

Clary looked up from Simon’s face with tears in her eyes. “The only reason he ever got a taste of Camille’s blood was because you brought him to her. You kidnapped him, you brought him to Hotel DuMort, you delivered him to a fucking sadistic vampire bitch with a knack for killing people and you think you’re totally blameless?!” She shouted, half-bent over Simon’s body. “You’re almost as bad as she is.”

“I never meant for this to happen. The mundane’s death will be on my conscience for…”

“His name is Simon!” Clary yelled, casting her eyes back down to his body. “Simon… please come back, please…” 

“There is…” Raphael took a seat a nearby bench, his hands on his knees, “a way.”

Clary raised her head. “A way for him to come back?”

“Clary, no… Don’t listen to him,” Izzy urged, shaking her head. 

“No, I have to! Can we bring Simon back?” 

Raphael nodded. “He’s a fledgling. He drank Camille’s blood, so he’s in a state of transition. He could be resurrected. All we’d have to do is bury him and wait for him to emerge.”

Clary swallowed hard. “So I could have Simon back?” Her heart began to race, and she swiped at her tears with the back of her hand. “Alive and breathing.”

“Clary, no, he wouldn’t be the same. He’d be a vampire,” Izzy explained. He wouldn’t be alive or breathing. It would be awful for him, he’d be out of control, unable to think past the bloodlust. He wouldn’t be your friend anymore.”

Raphael snorted. “You people really believe everything the Clave tells you, don’t you? Simon would be overwhelmed for a few days, but with the support of the clan he would be his annoying, nerdy self in a week.” 

“You don’t know that!” Izzy retorted, “you can’t possibly know that.”

“I’m sorry, which one of us has actually been turned and which one of us has read about it in books?” Raphael spat. When Izzy didn’t respond, he turned his attention back to Clary. “It’s almost sunrise, so I have to go. Simon must be turned into a vampire tonight or staked through the heart to put him to rest.”

Clary swallowed hard, sniffing back tears. “And if I do neither?”

“His soul will be trapped for eternity.” Raphael answered, getting to his feet. “You have until sunrise to decide what to do with Simon. Whatever you decide, I hope that you will be sure to arrest Camille for his murder.” 

Izzy breathed in slowly. “We’re not interested.”

“No, we are. Izzy, let me think about this.” Clary insisted, looking over her shoulder at the other woman. “This is my best friend, he’s my responsibility. It’s because of me that he’s dead, it’s my choice.” 

Izzy sighed in resignation, and nodded. She knew that she’d feel the exact same way if it were Alec, at the end of the day. 

“Here’s my number,” Raphael handed Clary a business card, “let me know what you decide to do.” 

The moment Clary nodded he was gone, only a soft breeze left behind where he’d sprinted away. Clary breathed out a shaky sigh, and looked back down to Simon’s face. What would he want? 

“Clary, I have to go talk to my parents, but I can make an excuse if you need me here,” Izzy told her gently. She’d ignored the text for the past ten minutes, but now that Raphael was gone she didn’t feel as unable to leave Clary’s side.

“Go,” Clary said quietly, “I want some time alone with him anyway.” 

Izzy squeezed her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her hair, before making her way up the stairs to the offices. Alec had texted her telling her that their parents wanted to discuss something with them. As if today could get any worse.

The three of them were already sitting in awkward silence when Izzy made it to the office. Alec was sitting on the couch, and their parents were stood together behind the desk. Izzy nodded in apology to the two of them before quickly taking a seat next to Alec. 

“Now that everyone’s here,” Robert eyed Izzy warily, “we have some things to discuss. Isabelle, your mother told me what happened with Miss Fairchild.” 

Izzy swallowed hard, reaching for Alec’s hand. He took it and squeezed it tightly. “I care about her.”

“That much is obvious,” Robert nodded, eyes on the desk in front of him. “But you have to understand the implications for the rest of us if you decide to pursue a relationship with her. If you do go ahead and choose to be with Miss Fairchild, then the four of us have to depend on Max to give us a political union. Now, that would mean-”

“Clary is from a pure shadowhunter family; why is she not a viable political match?” Izzy demanded, though she knew the answer.

“Because a viable political match is not viable if you cannot produce an heir.” Robert answered patiently. “Now, it is not the act of homosexuality that worries me, I’m not homophobic. I just-”

Alec and Izzy both snorted, glancing at each other out of the corners of their eyes.

“Listen to your father,” Maryse told them severely. “As I explained to Alec yesterday, the Clave will not accept couples that cannot produce children purely because we need the numbers to survive. Now, luckily for you and the rest of us, Alec has agreed to an arranged marriage.”

“You did what?!” Izzy exclaimed, ripping her hand out of Alec’s. “You promised me you wouldn’t promise them anything stupid!” 

Alec grimaced. “Technically I didn’t.”

“Alec, you can’t. Are you fucking insane?!” 

“This is Alec’s decision,” Robert pointed out, “and he made it for all of us. I for one am proud of his self-sacrifice in this matter. It won’t be easy for you, kid, I get that. I know you have a lot of anxiety about surgery, but I’m sure that you’ll be happier in the long run.”

Alec kept his head down, not willing to look any of them in the eye. He heard Izzy sniffle next to him, and his chest tightened. 

“You’re going to force your son into dangerous surgery he doesn’t want, marry someone he doesn’t love, and you have the audacity to say that he’ll be happier for it? Fuck the fuck off, Dad.” Izzy stood up, her eyes teary but determined. “You disgust me. The both of you disgust me. You don’t know either of us, not really. You don’t give a shit whether we’re happy or not. You just want to cling onto power. That’s all that any of this is about. The only reason you ever accepted Alec was because it was good for the family image to have a firstborn son to carry on the family name, because that matters more than anyone’s wellbeing. Honestly, I would rather get deruned and kicked out of this fucking institute than watch Alec throw his life away on some prissy Idris society girl. I won’t fucking do it, I won’t!”

“I want to, Iz.” Alec said quietly. “I want to do this.” 

Izzy deflated a little, looking down at her brother. “You don’t mean that.” 

“All I ever wanted was to be normal.” Alec pressed his lips together. “I just want to run an institute. I want a career, and a family. I want those things. And I can have them. We’re going to find a warlock doctor to operate so the risks will be minimal, and… I promise, I’m okay with doing this for you, for all of us. It’s my duty. It’s my honour to fulfill it.” Alec reached for her hand. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I didn’t want to do it.” 

Izzy’s lower lip wobbled. “But Magnus…”

“Who’s Magnus?” Maryse demanded, but the siblings ignored her. 

“It never could have worked. It’s okay. I’m sure that I’ll get along great with whoever I end up marrying. We’ll have a solid relationship that isn’t all dramatic and romantic, it’ll work for me. So please, calm down. I’m fine.” Alec smiled weakly. “I need your support in this, Iz.” 

Part of Izzy wanted to slap some sense into him, but the bigger part wanted to bury her face in his chest and cry and thank him for sacrificing his happiness for hers. She could never, ever repay him for what he was about to do for her; the least she could do was be there for him on the next steps of this fucked up journey he was taking. She took his face in her hands. “I love you so much, Alec. You know that, right?”

Alec nodded, his smile a little more genuine, and stood up to gave her a hug. 

Maryse and Robert looked at each other, relieved that Alec had managed to talk their daughter round. “There is one more thing,” Robert told the two of them, which made them pull away from each other and sit back down on the couch. “The Clave is concerned that Miss Fairchild is corrupting the professionalism of our institute. After they heard about the display in the ops centre, they decided to send an envoy.”

“They’ll be coming to observe us, how we operate, and to take over the investigation into Valentine. Mostly they’re coming to scrutinise our leadership, so you two need to make sure not to do anything to cause the Clave to doubt us.” Maryse insisted.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut. Of course. As if the past few days hadn’t been shitty enough. Of course the Clave would send an envoy when they’ve got a vampire fledgling hidden in their morgue.

“When are they coming?” Alec asked tonelessly. 

“Any time in the next couple of days,” Robert answered, straightening his tie. “Alec, I know I don’t have to remind you not to out yourself while they’re here. Only a few people in the Clave know about you, and the less people in Idris gossiping about you, the better your chance of finding a marriage.” 

Izzy glared at their father as he walked out of the room, clamping her jaws shut so she wouldn’t yell again. Alec looked dead inside; he needed her attention more. “It’s gonna be okay, Alec. We’ll get through this.”

“Yeah,” Alec sighed heavily, standing up from the couch. “It can’t possibly get any worse, after all.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Clary, please, please, answer the phone. I can't take it anymore, I have to go to Camille. Something's happening to me, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I need to know. Camille could have answers. I don't know what else to do. Please, please pick up the phone." 

Clary sniffed back another round of tears as the message finished, and she looked back down at Simon's body. "I'm so sorry, Simon. This is all my fault. If I'd never gotten involved with the shadowhunters, you'd never have met Camille." She shook her head, rubbing her knuckles into her eyes. "I have to bring you back. I can't... I can't let you go, I need you. Your Mom needs you. I have to bring you back. You understand, right? This wasn't your time, it's not right. It's not fair." 

She paused, like she was expecting someone to answer. There was no-one else in the room; Clary was sitting there alone, clutching Simon's cool hand. She took a shaky breath, and nodded to herself.

"Yeah, I'm gonna bring you back. I have to." 

Izzy would have a lot to say about it, Clary knew, but she couldn't do anything else. She slipped Raphael's business card out of her pocket and sent him a message, telling him to meet her in the nearby cemetery at sundown, and to bring a shovel. He texted back mere moments later to tell her she had made the right decision. 

She didn’t bother replying to Raphael, and instead called the one person she knew would stand by her side no matter what.

“Clary?” Luke answered on the second ring, as dependable as always. “Are you alright? Is there a problem with the Cup?”

Clary swallowed hard, trying not to let the pressure in her eyes build into tears again. “Luke, something terrible has happened. Simon’s… H-he’s dead. Simon’s dead!” She whimpered, pressing her hand to her mouth. 

There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone. “I’m so sorry, Clary.” Luke said, after a moment. “How did it happen?”

“Camille from the Hotel DuMort got him addicted to her blood. He went looking for a fix and she killed him. In cold blood.” 

Luke let out a snarl that was definitely not human in origin. “There have been rumours about her for years. You want me to have the wolves bring her in?” 

“I just… I need to talk to you about becoming a downworlder.” Clary said quietly, “you’re the only one I know who’s been through it.” 

“You’re thinking of burying Simon and letting him turn?” Luke guessed. He sighed when Clary didn’t answer. “It’s hard. He could lose his family. But… If he has you… Then I think that he could do it. If it wasn’t for the friendship of your Mom, I never would have made it as a wolf. But thanks to her, I did okay.”

“You did more than okay, Luke,” Clary sniffled, smiling sadly. “You’re the alpha.” 

Luke chuckled. “Thanks, kiddo.”

“So you think I should turn him?” 

“I think that if you do turn him, it should be because it’s what Simon would want. Not what makes it easier for you.” Luke answered. “Uh, I have to go… The wolves are restless, I think there’s something encroaching on our territory… I’ll meet you later, alright?”

“Yeah, okay,” Clary said softly, before hanging up the phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Max, where do you think you're going?" Alec spotted Max skulking around the edge of the ops room, looking guilty.

Max turned to look at him, a sheepish look on his face. "I want to use a real weapon for training. I'm sick of those stupid wooden daggers, they're rubbish."

"When Izzy says you're ready, you can use real weapons, but until then you have to listen to what we tell you." Alec pointed out, squatting down so he was eye level with his brother. "I did the exact same thing as you when I was a kid, stole a weapon to practise with, and look..." Alec held up his hand, showing Max a faint scar on his palm. 

"Did it hurt?" Max asked.

"Oh, yeah. A lot. Had to have stitches and everything." Alec told him, and Max grimaced, taking a small dagger out of his pocket and putting the hilt in Alec's hand. Alec smiled, and ruffled Max's hair.

They both looked up as they heard a portal forming in the doorway, and Alec's stomach dropped to his feet as Valentine sauntered out with a faint smile on his face. Shoving Max behind him, Alec unglamoured his bow and fired an arrow right at Valentine's face.

To Alec and Max's horror, Valentine caught it in midair effortlessly.

As Alec notched another one, Valentine pulled out his stele and slipped it across a glamour rune. Alec dropped his arms as the silhouette of Valentine obscured and was replaced by a severe-looking blonde woman, dressed in a practical gray business suit.

"I'm Lydia Branwell," she announced, "envoy from the Clave." 

Alec and Max looked at each other, their eyebrows raised in matching expressions of shock. Lydia walked towards them and held out her hand towards Alec. "Yes, welcome to the New York Institute. We didn't expect you until tomorrow. That was… Quite the entrance."

"I wanted to test your reactions," Lydia answered, shaking Alec's hand. "You must be Alexander Lightwood."

"Yes, sorry, that's me. My parents are in the office, I can take you if you'd like." 

“No need, I’m here,” Maryse spoke up, walking down the steps towards them. Izzy was hot on her heels, still looking emotionally drained from the events of the day. 

“Maryse, the Clave has instructed me to take temporary control of this Institute, just until we can ascertain what exactly has gone wrong here.” Lydia explained placidly, and Alec swallowed hard, exchanging a worried look with Izzy. 

“Well, how on Earth are you supposed to assess our leadership if we are no longer the leaders?” Maryse demanded, folding her arms. 

Lydia made herself welcome, walking across the ops centre to look at the various screens showing demon activity and shadowhunter movements, pointing her stele at the monitors every now and then. “You can take any issues up with the Clave. I’m just here to assess what I see. And in order to do that, I’ll need full clearance.” She looked around, frowning as she noticed a very notable absence. “Where is Clarissa Fairchild? I was under the impression that Alexander had been tasked with monitoring her.” 

Alec tilted his head to the side. “It’s Alec, and at present she’s in the field. Training with the rest of our interns. I was headed out to go and check on them when you arrived.” 

Lydia scoffed, walking towards Alec slowly. “You’re telling me that you’ve allowed Clarissa Fairchild, Valentine’s daughter, out and about on the streets of New York?”

“Isn’t she also your cousin?” Izzy pointed out scathingly. 

Lydia turned to look over her shoulder at the other woman. “Distant cousin,” she sneered. “Get her back here as soon as possible. She will not be allowed outside of the institute as long as I’m in command.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Maryse assured her, “Miss Fairchild is in good hands.”

“Oh, I hope so, for your sake.” Lydia replied coldly. 

Alec’s phone buzzed in his back pocket, making him jump a little. Everyone who ever texted him was in the room, except Magnus. He fished his phone out of his pocket, surprised to see a message from Luke. His eyebrows creased as he read the message, and he jogged over to the monitor. 

“Here’s something you should see,” he murmured, bringing up the satellite imaging over the docks. “Something has attacked the Jade Wolf, where the New York pack live. Luke Garroway and his wolves managed to take it down, but they have no idea what it is. Most likely it’s one of Valentine’s experiments.” Alec flicked the photos Luke had sent him from his phone to the screen in front of them. The humanoid was grey and bled green viscous fluid, and was very clearly dead. 

“The werewolves’ headquarters? You’re in contact with Lucian Greymark?” Maryse looked utterly confused. 

“It’s inappropriate for a wolf to have direct contact with a shadowhunter. Mr Greymark should have reported this to the Clave.” Lydia pointed out.

“And it would’ve taken the Clave a week to send someone,” Alec snapped. “It’s my job to protect the mundanes and downworlders of this city from demonic beings, and that’s what I’m going to do. Has the Clave got a problem with that, Miss Branwell?” 

Lydia’s eyebrow quirked. “Downworlders are demonic beings.” 

Alec laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, great, just what we need, another heavy handed racist running this place looking for another heavy handed racist.” 

“Alec-” Maryse warned.

“No! I’m going to take a look at this thing. You can come with me or not, I don’t give a shit. I’m doing my job, and if the Clave and Little Miss Valentine here have a problem with it, you can kiss my fucking ass. See you.” Alec turned on his heel, leaving Izzy, Maryse and Lydia staring after him in disbelief. 

After a moment, Lydia trotted after him, catching up with him at the door. “I’m not a racist, you know.” 

Alec said nothing, just looked up at the sky as he slowed his pace to allow Lydia to walk beside him without jogging. 

“I admire your values but you have to follow protocol, that’s what got you in trouble with the Clave.” Lydia pointed out.

“Yeah, that’s why the Clave hates me. Because of my passion and unorthodox methods.” Alec muttered sarcastically. 

Lydia frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Alec’s eyebrow quirked. “You really don’t know?” 

“Oh, you mean because your parents used to be in the Circle?” Lydia asked grimly. “I’m sure they don’t judge you based on-”

“Wait.” Alec stopped in his tracks. “My parents used to be in the Circle?!” 

Lydia’s eyes widened, and she looked at Alec apologetically. “Did they conceal that from you?” 

“I… They were in the Circle?” Alec had always known that his parents had a certain level of disdain for downworlders, but he didn’t think it was any worse than any other shadowhunter family… Apparently he was wrong. 

“Yes, but they turned against Valentine before he fell. They were double agents at the end of the uprising, so they were spared of punishment.” Lydia explained, “they were… I suppose you could argue that they also helped bring Valentine down.”

It all made sense now, Alec realised. The pressure, the way that Maryse and Robert had sought to make sure that all three of their children kept their noses squeaky clean, why they were so keen to make Alec into the perfect heir… They wanted redemption. They wanted Alec to make people forget their dark past. 

They were using him to cover up their mistakes.

“It doesn’t change how I feel about the Lightwoods,” Lydia insisted, taking his elbow. Alec pulled it out of her grasp, his nose wrinkling a little. “Your family has always had a strong alliance with mine. They’ve been a powerful force in the shadow world, and praised for their devotion. I admire that.”

“Devotion?” Alec laughed. “Some devotion.” The two of them stared at each other for a moment, and Alec glowered, looking away with a cough. “It shouldn’t have surprised me. It figures, really.”

“Anyway,” Lydia murmured as Alec started walking off again, grappling for a change in subject, “ I can see why all the girls in Idris are clamouring to meet you. You’re very… Tall. And brooding. I’m told that’s what girls are supposed to like.” 

“And you don’t?” Alec asked, eyes flicking around the shipping containers as they passed into the docks. For all they knew, another one of those monsters could still be lurking around. 

Lydia shrugged. “I’ve already had my love story. And I hear yours is just beginning…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alec had honestly never been so uncomfortable in his life. 

“You’re looking for a wife. Or did I hear wrong?” 

Shit.

“Uhhhhh…”

Lydia smiled, tangling her fingers together behind her back. “Let me guess. Not your idea?”

“Not even close,” Alec snorted.

“My parents tried to set me up too. Luckily I actually loved the guy they chose.” She explained. “But… He passed away last year. We were going to run the Lisbon Institute together, but then it was all ripped away. My love… My dream job...” 

“I’m sorry,” Alec answered, the silence between them growing heavy. “Is the marriage thing the only rumour about me in Idris?” He pressed tentatively, watching his feet as they walked along.

“It’s the only one I’ve heard. Why?”

Alec pursed his lips, glancing over at her. “You sure you want to know?” 

Lydia shrugged, though curiosity was evident in the way her eyes were darting to his face and away, over and over again. “I’m not here to judge you personally, just your leadership skills.” 

“We’ll see,” Alec muttered, stopping and folding his arms. “I’m transgender. I don’t have a dick. I have boobs. I’m,” he raised his fingers in quotation marks, “not a real man.” 

“Oh…” Lydia looked puzzled, her eyes sweeping down and back up Alec’s body. “I see.” 

“My parents are pressuring me into surgery and marriage so I can be a useful heir,” Alec looked away from her, the confusion on her face making him anxious. “They don’t want to tell my future wife about it. It feels like lying. Well, it is lying, by omission. But then no-one would want me like this, so… What can you do?”

“That’s not true,” Lydia said quietly. Alec looked back at her, raising his eyebrow. “It wouldn’t bother me. And… Not every shadowhunter woman is particularly bothered about having children, so… You never know.” 

Alec frowned. “Why are you trying to spare my feelings?”

“I know I made a bad first impression but I’m really quite liberal,” Lydia sniffed, shrugging a little as she started walking once more. “I figure what people do in private is none of my business. You’re a good shadowhunter, devoted to your family, and… You look like a man to me. So… What’s the difference?” 

Alec watched her for a moment, rooted to the ground with a nauseating mixture of shock and unease. After a moment of inexplicable fear, he remembered himself, and rushed after her into the Jade Wolf. Luke was looking at Lydia with open distrust, but he relaxed a little as he saw Alec come through the door. Lydia was already bent over the creature on the floor, apparently having ignored the werewolves hovering uneasily in their own space.

“Hi, Luke. We came as quickly as we could.” Alec shook the alpha’s hand, nodding briefly to him before joining Lydia at the creature’s side. 

“Honestly I didn’t expect you until tomorrow. Thanks for coming, Alec.” Luke answered. “It looks like a forsaken, but-”

“It definitely used to be a human, and it has runes. It’s a forsaken.” Lydia assessed, and Luke gave Alec a meaningful look.

“As I was saying, it was a lot stronger than your average forsaken. It took five wolves to take that thing down. And it seemed to be after something, it seemed focussed, like it had a plan. Why would a forsaken wander in here by itself? Not like it fancied some Moo Shu… This is Valentine’s work, no doubt. I think he’s after me. I used to be his parabatai, until he literally fed me to the wolves. Would make sense for him to want to get rid of me now that he’s gaining power again.”

Lydia hummed, not looking up at Luke as he spoke. “We’ll take the body back to the institute, do a full autopsy.”

“Hold up.” Luke put his hand out, and Lydia finally raised her eyes to look at him, “I get that I called you… Well, I called Alec… But what I didn’t want is someone to come down here and just take over. I’m trying to catch Valentine, this body could help the pack find him.”

“Coming in and taking over is kind of Lydia’s thing,” Alec told him, the two men quirking eyebrows meaningfully at each other as Lydia’s gaze swept over the body on the floor. 

“I know I come across as abrasive!” Lydia said crisply, “but we all want to catch Valentine, and we have better resources than you do here in this… Restaurant. We’re all on the same side, here.” She made eye contact with Luke for the first time since she walked in. “Can we agree on that?” 

Alec nodded at Luke. “We have an expert forensic pathologist, highly trained in all the creatures of the shadow world. We’ll tell you what we find.” 

“If it doesn’t compromise the security of the Institute,” Lydia amended quickly, and Alec sighed.

Luke pursed his lips. “Fine. You win.”

Back at the institute, Alec and Lydia heaved the forsaken corpse onto the examiner’s table. Lydia bent over it, looked at it more closely. “We need to make sure magic wasn’t used to create this,” she told Alec, “are you on good terms with the nearest High Warlock, as you are with the werewolf alpha?” 

Alec pursed his lips. “I know a High Warlock. I’m not sure if he’s the closest one, but he maintains our wards and has helped us in our efforts to bring down Valentine. He’s trustworthy.”

“As trustworthy as warlocks ever are,” Lydia sighed, straightening up. “Go on, who is he?”

“Mag-” Alec swallowed hard. He sensed it was a bad idea to bring Magnus here, with Lydia overseeing everything, but Magnus really was the best warlock Alec knew of who’d come on short notice. “Magnus Bane.”

Lydia hummed, a smile appearing on her face. “You know, I must admit, I admire Bane’s work. My ancestor was there when Bane created the portal. It’s a treasured family story.” 

“Oh. Wow, I had no idea Magnus created the portal.”

“You’re on first name terms? So you know him well, then?” Lydia asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.

“Yes, yes, sort of… Magnus is very, um… Quite magical.” A beat of silence passed between them, and Alec glanced at Lydia’s expression, feeling his cheeks heat. “You know, he’s very good… At magic. Very impressive.” 

“So I’ve heard…” Lydia said slowly, her eyes slightly narrow as she looked Alec up and down, like she had when he told her that he was transgender. “Anyway… Send him a fire message. While I’m sure your sister is a very capable pathologist, I imagine Mr Bane will be able to see things that she won’t.” 

Alec nodded, grateful for the excuse to get the hell out of there.

He needed to work some shit out, preferably on a punching bag. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus was disappointed when he portalled to the institute and Alec wasn’t there to greet him. He’d been hoping, since the fire message bore Alec’s signature, that it was Alec who wanted to see him, but instead a short, slightly evil-looking blonde person advanced on him with their hand stuck out. Magnus almost leapt straight back into his portal and went home.

“I’m Lydia Branwell, envoy from the Clave,” they told him, and Magnus quirked an eyebrow at her, tentatively taking her hand. “We have a corpse for you to look at.” 

“Right…” Magnus said slowly, the name Branwell ringing a bell, but then most shadowhunter family names did. “I assume I’m going to be paid for my expertise?” 

He was not doing this for free unless Alexander was involved. 

“Of course, of course!” Lydia insisted, “the Clave would never take your services for granted, Mr Bane.” 

Magnus fought the urge to scoff. “Of course not,” he answered smoothly, allowing Lydia to lead the way to the autopsy room. 

“I just wanted to say, your work on the portal was incredible, it changed the shadow world forever. My ancestor was actually there when you-”

“Oh, yes. Cecil Branwell. Yes… That’s why your name is familiar...” Magnus nodded, “if I recall, he attempted to take credit for it,” he mused, “and only agreed to put my name in the history books because I threatened to curse his firstborn…” 

He smirked at the look of horror on Lydia’s face. 

“I’m joking, Miss Branwell. I never threatened to curse his firstborn.” He assured her, and she laughed nervously.

“I was going to say…”

“I actually just threatened to expose his admittedly impressive collection of werewolf porn.” Magnus hummed, leaving Lydia standing shocked outside the laboratory as he glided inside.

He was happy to see Isabelle standing there all dressed up in her lab clothes, but he couldn’t help the pang of sadness that Alec was nowhere to be seen. 

“Magnus!” Izzy smiled, a scalpel already in her hand, “looking sharp, as always.” 

“I could say the same to you, my dear,” Magnus smiled, rolling up his sleeves. “Now what do we have here?”

Izzy frowned, looking back down at the forsaken. “I’m not one hundred percent sure, but it’s some form of forsaken. Someone did something extra to it, but I can’t figure out what. Think you can help?” 

“I can certainly try,” Magnus nodded. The corpse certainly looked like a forsaken at first glance, and Magnus hummed as he waved his hands over it, assessing it with magical probes. 

“I waited until you came before I cut anything up,” Izzy told him, “I didn’t know if it would affect your assessment. I can’t wait to get my hands on that thing.”

Magnus smirked, “speaking of which, how is Alexander?” 

Izzy snorted, and elbowed him gently in the ribs. “He’s… Honourable to the point of stupidity. You know what he’s like.”

“That sounds about right,” Magnus nodded. “He hasn’t been answering my texts.” 

“He’s had a lot on his mind…” Izzy answered diplomatically, not wanting Magnus to hear Alec’s surgery news from her. 

“It’s just so hard to tell if Alexander’s even interested.” Magnus sighed, “I mean… I can’t fathom why he wouldn’t be…” 

“I don’t know if you noticed, but my brother is not exactly warm and fuzzy,” Izzy pointed out, “just give him time. He’ll come through, I’m sure of it. There’s just too much going on in his head right now. Maybe… You should go and find him, when we’re done here.”

Magnus finished up his magic, and grabbed a pen from the counter. “I’m done. Work your own magic,” he smiled. “But yes, I was planning to. I haven’t seen him since he practically ran out of the loft the other day. He seemed stressed.” 

“Stress is his middle name these days. Alexander Stress Lightwood.”

“Then perhaps a few dozen well-worded compliments from me would lift his mood.” Magnus reasoned, and Izzy smiled over her shoulder at him as he wrote his notes. 

“I know they would.” She looked back at where she was cutting into the forsaken’s rib cage. “Don’t give up on him, Magnus. He’s a knucklehead, but I think that he could make you really happy, you know? He has a big heart.” 

Magnus’ eyes warmed where they were fixed on the page before him. “Oh, don’t worry, Isabelle. I’m no quitter. Speaking of which… I’m going to deliver the preliminary findings to the rightful head of this institute. Any ideas where I might find him?”

“He said he needed to punch something, so try his bedroom. He doesn’t like to work out in the training room.” Izzy told Magnus, apparently distracted by something interesting in the body. Magnus hummed, and made his way out of the laboratory. Thankfully, Miss Branwell had disappeared.

It was easy to find Alec’s room; a simple spell to sense the auras of people in the building and Magnus could feel Alec’s energy, vibrating with… Conflict? Unease? Whatever it was, it wasn’t good, and it made Magnus quicken his steps ever so slightly. He could rhythmic dull bangs coming from behind the closed door of Alec’s quarters, and knocked three times, his report tucked under his arm. The bangs stopped, and Alec called for him to come in.

Evidently he didn’t expect Magnus to be the one looking for him, and he yelped loudly when he caught sight of the other man, wrenching his arms across his body. “Magnus! What are you..?!”

Magnus was frozen for a moment, eyes going wide at the sight of Alec glistening with sweat, wearing baggy workout trousers and a white sports bra translucent with perspiration, his bare arms pumped from the punchbag, his abs framing a delicious-looking happy trail that slipped down... 

Remembering himself, he spun around so his back was to Alec, and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d be… So hot. I mean… Sweaty. I mean… Working out.” 

Smooth.

“I should be wearing a shirt, it’s my fault, I’m… Not decent.” Alec muttered, grabbing for a t-shirt and yanking it over his head.

“There’s nothing indecent about you, Alexander,” Magnus insisted, still facing the wall.

Alec smiled a little at that, shoving his hands in the pockets of his pants. “You can turn around now.” 

“For the record,” Magnus said sheepishly as he turned around, “you’re seriously, seriously lovely to look at. I’d even go so far as to use the word dreamy.” 

“Did you come here just to compliment me?” Alec teased, unwrapping the boxing tape from his hands.

Magnus grinned. “Well, yes. But also to deliver this report on the preliminary autopsy findings to the head of the institute. I’m always the absolute height of professionalism.” 

“Oh, of course,” Alec snorted, looking at the folder in Magnus’ hands, “but I’m not the head of the institute. And I never will be.” 

Magnus’ eyes trailed down to Alec’s arms again, watching as a bead of sweat slipped down the inside of his bicep.

“Magnus, it’s like…” Alec sighed, and Magnus looked back up at his face. “It’s like my whole life has been a lie. Everything I’ve ever known about my family, about my heritage, about my duty, it’s… Gone. Just like that. And now I don’t know what to do. Who am I supposed to be pleasing?” 

Magnus frowned. “Alexander, you’re supposed to be pleasing yourself. No-one can live your life for you.” 

“I’ve done everything for my parents, for the Clave, to honour them. And… They’ve let me down, Magnus. Again and again. I’ve done everything that they’ve asked.”

“Maybe…” Magnus smiled gently at the younger man, “maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what’s in your heart.”

Alec sighed, running his hand through his sweaty hair. “You know… You’re right. Why are you always right? It’s annoying.” 

Magnus smirked, patting Alec’s shoulder. Damn, that was muscled, he thought, inhaling sharply, “comes with 400 years of life experience.” 

Alec chuckled, and folded his arms. He wanted to say something more, something… He felt like he knew what he had to do, and he knew that Magnus wasn’t going to like it, but right now he wasn’t confident enough in his decision to explain himself to the other man, so he just kept quiet, enjoying the soft look on Magnus’ face. 

“I should go,” Magnus announced, “people might talk if America’s sluttiest warlock hangs around in Alexander Lightwood’s bedroom for too long…” 

“Don’t say that about yourself,” Alec replied, eyes fond, and Magnus shrugged.

“I own my sluttiness. I’m never going to apologise for enjoying sex,” he insisted, “besides, it’s fun to mess with shadowhunters’ fragile sensibilities. You should’ve seen the look on Miss Branwell’s face when I told her that her ancestor was a racist prick.” 

Alec grinned. “Man, I wish I’d been there to see that.”

“It was poetic, really.”

Alec bit his lip, taking the report from Magnus’ hands. “Thanks for stopping by, Magnus. You always know what to say. I appreciate it.” 

“Anytime you need to talk, Alec. I’m here. You know that.” Magnus nodded, letting himself out of the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clary felt sick watching Luke carry Simon through the graveyard. Simon was like a son to Luke, and Clary knew that no-one would understand Simon’s struggle when he rose like Luke would. While Clary was confident that Simon would want this, that he wouldn’t want to be ripped away from his family and friends like that, she still felt a sense of dread at having to explain to him exactly how he’d been brought back to life, and the consequences of her decision. 

“You’re doing the right thing,” Raphael told her as they approached him. “Not only will Simon get another chance at life, he’ll help us to imprison a very dangerous vampire.”

“Save your political agenda, vampire,” Luke spat, putting Simon gently down on the ground and taking the shovel from Clary, “Simon deserves more respect than that.” 

Clary nodded, running her thumb over Simon’s prayer shawl. “He deserves forever. And we’re going to give it to him.” 

Luke straightened up as he heard a vibration in the air, and Raphael rushed to Simon’s side as Camille stopped a few dozen feet away from them. Clary pulled out her angel blade with her free hand, glowering at the woman who’d murdered Simon. Camille didn’t look half as dangerous as she actually was; she was slight, skinny even, with impractical stiletto shoes and a slinky red cocktail dress. The only thing that made her different to any rich bitch living in SoHo was the pair of gleaming white fangs brushing her lower lip. 

“What do you want?” Clary demanded.

Camille sneered at Simon’s body. “I want my property back.”

“Your property?!” Clary snarled, rage broiling inside her and pushing her to walk purposefully towards Camille, angel blade outstretched. “He was a living, breathing human being and you took him from me.”

“If you’ll just hand him over, I’ll be on my way.” Camille sighed, barely sparing Clary or her weapon a glance. Luke hurried to hold Clary back, tugging her back towards Simon. 

“Let me at her, Luke, I swear to God, I’m going to rip her hair out,” Clary growled, struggling against Luke’s iron grip.

“She will snap your neck before you could get close.” Luke insisted.

“You’re not laying a hand on him.” Raphael told Camille, “he’s going to make sure that the Clave puts you away for good.” 

Camille pursed her lips. “Fine. I tried to do this the nice way.” 

With a snap of her fingers, dozens of vampires appeared out of the shadows, surrounding them on all sides. Clary sniffed and raised her chin, unphased. If she was going to be ripped apart by vampires, so be it. She’d rather that than leave Simon’s body to be dumped somewhere where it would never be found.

“I’m glad you brought everyone here to witness your demise,” Raphael taunted, “Camille killed this mundane. She brought the shadowhunters to our door. She’s been breaking the Accords for too long, now. She will lead us to ruin. We can get rid of her. I have all the proof I need, right here.” 

Camille laughed, though her eyes betrayed a hint of fear. “Are you trying to overthrow me?” 

“If you kill Luke and I to get to Simon, the shadowhunters and the wolves will destroy you.” Clary pointed out to the assembled vampires, which made a few of them look at each other with uncertain expressions. “You will be obliterated by the Clave, if you aren’t ripped apart by Luke’s pack first.” 

The vampires all moved at once, Raphael included, and closed in on Camille.

“Don’t listen to them! Raphael doesn’t know the first thing about leading; he’s a child. And as for the shadowhunter and her little lapdog…” 

“You will destroy us in pursuit of your own selfish desires,” Raphael growled. 

“We can fix this! If we just get rid of the body, this mundane means nothing!” Camille insisted.

Clary clenched her jaw, moving so quickly that Luke didn’t have time to grab her before she was standing in front of Camille. “Simon means nothing? Over my dead body.” Her fist sailed through the air and landed with a satisfying crunch on Camille’s nose, sending her reeling back into the crowd of vampires. Apparently, that show of strength from Clary was enough for them, and they surrounded Camille with a loud hissing sound, restraining her and dragging her back to Hotel DuMort as a team. 

Raphael stayed behind, much to Clary’s surprise. He picked up one of the shovels and helped Luke dig Simon’s grave. While they worked, Clary knelt down next to Simon and put his prayer shawl on his chest. 

“When your grandfather gave you this at your bar mitzvah, you told me how much it meant to you. It was the symbol of the day you became a man. Simon…” She wiped her nose in her sleeve, feeling the tears pooling in her eyes again. “No matter what happens, no matter what you are or what you become, you will always be that man to me.” 

She held Simon’s hand until Raphael and Luke were done, and as Raphael lowered Simon’s body into the ground, Clary clung to Luke, burying her face in his chest. 

“He’ll be alright, kiddo. He’s got us. He’ll always have us.” Luke soothed, stroking her hair. “Come on, we need to cover him over before dawn.” 

Clary nodded, sniffing back her tears, and grabbed one of the shovels. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Alec had showered, he put on his binder and his lucky denim shirt (Magnus had seemed to like it the first night they met, so Alec figured it made him look good), and headed to the office, where he knew Lydia would still be working. He had to give her Magnus’ report before Izzy’s came in. She seemed somewhat surprised to see him, but gestured to the chair opposite her.

“I have Magnus Bane’s findings. He found no trace of magic being used to create the forsaken. Izzy’s still working on it in the lab, I believe she’s waiting for blood test results.” He told her, handing her the report. He chose to stay standing, tangling his hands together behind his back as Lydia flicked through Magnus’ report.

“Seems strange that Mr Bane would deliver it to you rather than me...Though I’m not surprised, he took an instant dislike to me, this afternoon.” Lydia commented, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

Alec raised his eyebrows, shrugging a little. He’d never seen Magnus be unfriendly, so he could only assume Lydia had put her foot in her mouth somehow. “I also wanted to talk to you about a… Proposition.” 

Lydia put aside the file. “A proposition?” 

“Yes,” Alec answered, taking a deep breath as he thought of where to begin. “I feel that our problems are compatible. You need a husband in order to fulfil your dream of running an institute, and I need a strong political partner in order to restore my family’s authority in Idris. If we… Became allies, we could run this institute the way we saw fit. You could make sure that the Clave are happy, and I could get shit done. I know we have slightly different ideas, but we could iron out those differences.”

“Alec… Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Lydia asked, tilting her head to the side. 

Alec nodded. “What do you think?” 

“You want to marry me?”

Alec couldn’t stop his nose from wrinkling. “I want an ally. I want to be clear. This would not be a romantic or sexual… Thing. This is purely business. I have no interest in women, and I know you said you’ve done the love thing already, so… We’d just be… Allies. Partners.”

Lydia thought about it for less than a second. “Understood. I think we could make it work.”

“So…?”

Lydia smiled. “I guess we’re getting married.” 

Alec blew out a long breath. “Right. My parents will be so proud.” 

“I feel we should keep it to ourselves until I okay this with the Clave. Of course, you’ll have to have all the surgery before the wedding, so you’ll… You know… Be the husband.” 

Alec’s eye twitched, though he didn’t respond. Lydia got up from her desk and took his hands in hers.

“Alec, I promise you, I will do my best to be a good wife.” 

“Right…” Alec swallowed hard, realising he’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. “Anyway, see you… Around.” 

He got the hell out of there before he could do something stupid like cry or vomit. 

“Hey, Alec…” Hodge caught him in the hallway, stopping him with a hand in the crook of his elbow.. “You alright?” 

Alec sniffed hard, looking at the wall. “Yeah, just… Need some air.” 

“You want to spar with me? I’m getting bored using those dummies.” He offered, eyes darting over Alec’s face, trying to assess what exactly the younger man was feeling. 

Alec sighed. If he went back to his room, he might do something stupid like call Magnus. He needed to keep busy, keep his mind off the fact that he’d just ruined any chance at happiness he had in one fell swoop. “Sure,” he answered after a moment’s pause. He met Hodge’s eyes, and it struck him that he felt absolutely no attraction to him whatsoever anymore. For a long time, Alec had felt vaguely uncomfortable around the weapons master, getting a little hot in the face when Hodge touched him casually, struggling to hold eye contact just in case Hodge saw the barest hint of affection in them. Now, though, the only man Alec could see himself holding was Magnus. Perhaps he’d never really been interested in Hodge; perhaps he’d simply been curious as to what it would be like to be admired by a man.

It was wonderful, he’d learned. 

It was just a shame that nothing could ever come of it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the cemetery, Luke, Raphael and Clary sat in silence next to Simon’s grave. Clary was deep in thought, lost in all the memories that she’d shared with Simon, praying that she’d get to make more in the future. Simon was her oldest and most loyal friend, the one that had protected her all their lives, and who she’d failed to protect. If Simon came back, she promise herself, she would never put Valentine and the shadowhunters before him, not ever again. 

“You know what my favourite memory is, of you and Simon?” Luke asked, staring up at the moon. It was two days from full, and he could feel it under his skin. 

Clary hummed a questioning tone.

Luke smiled, shaking his head a little. “It’s that time when you were… Oh, maybe twelve? And you came barrelling into the apartment, terrified because you realised halfway home that Simon had forgotten to pay for his bottle of soda. He genuinely thought he was going to jail, and you were determined to come clean to me so I could protect you. I remember looking into Simon’s face, and his glasses were two sizes too big for him, and he looked like he wanted to vomit from pure guilt and fear.” Luke chuckled, shaking his head. “And when I told you it was no big deal, you both immediately started insisting that stealing was wrong, and that Simon had to pay for what he’d done. Neither of you would calm down until me and your Mom promised to take you back to the shop to give them some money.”

“And Simon gave the shop-keeper his whole $5 allowance.” Clary said quietly, tears welling hot in her eyes.

“Yeah,” Luke sighed. “I’ve never known a boy so patient, so loving, and so good. You know, before you came out, I thought for sure someday you and Simon would be together. I remember thinking when you went to homecoming together in your first year of high school, that Simon was the only boy I’d ever trust with my little girl.” 

Clary smiled, and reached over to squeeze Luke’s hand. “He’s the best.”

“Yeah. His strength is easy to underestimate, Clary, but it’s there. He’s like steel.” Luke insisted, scooting closer to her. “You know where that strength comes from?”

“His determination?”

“His love. His love for us, our love for him, his mom’s love… That’s what’s going to bring him out of that hole.” Luke told her. “The shadowhunters, the Lightwoods and the others, they’re going to try to convince you that emotions complicate life. That they make life harder. And that might be true, I don’t know. But love is what our family is made of, and it’s why we’ve survived all these years with Valentine breathing down our necks. You can’t let go of that love, okay?” 

Clary nodded, laying her head on Luke’s shoulder. “I promise I won’t let them change me.” 

“Good,” Luke grumbled, kissing the top of her head. 

 

The two of them stiffened as they felt a faint trembling under their feet, and Raphael moved quickly, grabbing the blood bags he’d brought with him as Simon’s hand burst through the soil. Luke and Clary got to their feet, Luke dragging Clary back a few feet. 

“He’s going to be hungry,” Luke explained as she gave him a defensive look. “Let Raphael at him first.” 

It took only a few seconds for Simon to climb out of the ground, his new strength helping him shove the loose earth aside. An inhuman hissing sound burst from his lips as he raised his head to look at them, and Raphael snapped the seal off a bag and threw it to him.Simon snatched it up, draining it in three long gulps. Clary watched with horror as her best friend greedily drank his way through four bags of blood, Luke holding her back with a hand on her shoulder. 

“Drink up,” Raphael soothed, tossing the fifth bag. Simon drank it a lot more slowly, looking around curiously once it was empty.

“Clary,” Simon said, eyes wide. “What-What’s happening?” 

Clary glanced at Luke, who let her go, and she took a couple of steps towards Simon. “You um,” Clary said quietly, “you died.”

“What? No, I… I’m not dead, though.” Simon pointed out, the words a little slurred around the fangs that had grown during his transformation. “What was I drinking? I-it… Is that blood?!” He yelped, scrambling away from the empty bags. “Oh my g-” He choked.

“You can’t say it right now,” Raphael told him, “but you’ll learn. There’s a lot you’ll need to learn. But your clan are here for you. As are your family.” 

“Yeah, we’re here for you, Simon. All of us,” Luke insisted.

Simon sobbed dryly, trying over and over to say ‘oh my god’, like that could prove somehow that all of this was a bad dream. Eventually, he pounded the earth with his fists, and looked up at the three people watching him.

“Am I a vampire?” Simon asked, eyes shining with tears.

Clary whimpered, and nodded. 

“Clary, tell me this isn’t real, tell me this is a joke, this can’t be happening!” Simon begged, digging his fingers into his own grave. 

“I’m sorry, Simon, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Clary cried, stepping closer to him. 

Simon squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m a monster.”

“That’s not true,” Luke said gently. “You’re still the same. I promise.” 

“You’re the same Simon I’ve known my entire life,” Clary nodded, “the same guy who loves sci-fi, who can recite every line from every Nicolas Cage movie… Who… Who… Once felt so guilty for accidentally stealing a bottle of soda that you paid the clerk back five times over. You’re still the same.” 

Simon shook his head. “No, no, I’m not, I’m not. Look at me!” His fingers were molded around his fangs, whimpering at the feel of them, intrusive in his mouth. “Look at me…”

Clary lunged forward, falling to her knees in front of him. “Simon, I will always love you. No matter what.” 

“No. No. Please…” Simon fell backwards, stumbling to his feet. “Stay away from me! Stay away…” 

With a stiff breeze, Simon disappeared into the night.

“I’ll look after him,” Raphael promised, nodding at Clary before taking off after the young fledgling.

“What did I do?” Clary breathed, pressing her hands into the blood-wet dirt of Simon’s grave as Luke knelt down next to her. “What did I do?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izzy tapped her pen against the desk, her narrowed eyes staring at the computer screen in front of her. Sighing, she stood and made her way over to the microscope, checking for the fourth time. It was definitely angel blood in the forsaken’s system.

“Why would you have angel blood?” She asked the corpse, looking over her shoulder. 

What was the point of injecting angel blood into a human? Was Valentine trying to make a shadowhunter? He’d know that wouldn’t work, he was a scientist, he’d have at least that basic knowledge. So what could angel blood do that demon blood couldn’t?

Izzy’s eyes went wide as she put the pieces together. Demon blood couldn’t get through the wards of the institute, but angel blood could. The other forsaken had gone after Luke, Valentine’s old parabatai. So there could be a second forsaken going after Hodge, Valentine’s second in command… And it would need angel blood to get through the wards!

Before she could even finish the train of thought, Izzy had run out of the laboratory, yelling at people to get out of her way as she desperately sprinted through the corridors. Hodge would be in the training room, she guessed, working. 

As she rounded the corner, what she saw chilled her blood.

Alec was on the floor, not moving, as Hodge fought the second forsaken with a couple of knives. Just as Izzy grabbed for a sword of her own, Hodge got the upper hand, and broke the forsaken’s neck with an unmistakable crunch. Dropping the sword, Izzy ran to her brother’s side.

“Alec? Alec, are you okay?” She asked, relieved to see that his eyes were already open. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Alec croaked, hissing in pain as he sat up. “He clipped me on the head, but I think my arm’s worse.” 

Sure enough, there was blood seeping through his shirt where the forsaken’s mace had pierced Alec’s shoulder. He clutched at the wound, his jaw clenching at the wave of pain that wracked his body. 

“It came out of nowhere,” Hodge panted, “how did it get through the wards?”

“It had angel blood,” Izzy told them. “Valentine found a loophole. He sent the forsaken to kill off people who’d betrayed him. I think its mission was to kill you.” 

Hodge and Alec looked at each other, wondering if Hodge was the only target, or whether Maryse and Robert were also on Valentine’s hit list. 

Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do we think? I'm not sure that there's going to be as much Simon in this story as there in the show - nothing against him, it's just that this is mostly about the Lightwood siblings (and Clary, because she's Izzy's love interest). However, when Maia is eventually introduced in season 2 (which I'm very excited for - she's going to feature in the main plot a lot more), Simon will be her love interest, so maybe I should lay groundwork? I don't knowwww lmao these chapters are already always so long! Tell me what you'd like to see in regards to Simon.
> 
> Also, what are your thoughts about Lydia? How do you feel about what's coming? Any guesses on how my retelling will be different to show canon? Let me know!


	9. Episode 9: Rise Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meliorn is brought in for questioning, and the gang make a plan to free him from the Clave's clutches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! I have now gotten to the point where I'm ready to confidently say that I will be posting every other Sunday from here on out! 
> 
> On a less happy note, this chapter is ROUGH. It's hard going for everyone, not least for me. There is an intensely, intensely personal scene at the end with Alec and Magnus that I honestly can't believe I wrote. These are my honest feelings about my own chest and transition, and honestly I'm scared to share them! But I keep telling myself, maybe it'll help someone feel less alone. So... Here you go. Please be gentle if you decide to criticise that scene. 
> 
> Read with caution, here are the trigger warnings!
> 
> SELF HARM: Alec, similarly to canon, refuses to let Magnus treat his forsaken injury - he wants to feel the pain. This isn't spelled out graphically, but it's inferred.
> 
> RACISM: Lydia is a racist piece of shit. 
> 
> ALEC/LYDIA: Lydia is very pushy and manipulative with Alec in this chapter. She tries to rub their """relationship"""" in Magnus' face, and pressures Alec into trying to forge a romantic bond with her. Alec tries to manipulate her back, it's not a good look for either of them lmao. Alec is very, very anxious and scared in this chapter, and it might be hard to read, but he's gonna be SUPER happy to make up for it later!
> 
> EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE BY A PARENT: Robert says some VERY hurtful things to Alec, and shoves him against a wall. There's no physical strikes, but he threatens to turn Alec over for a deruning if he doesn't do as Robert wants.
> 
> TRANSPHOBIA: Robert calls Alec 'defective'.
> 
> SURGERY ANXIETY: Alec describes his anxiety and fear surrounding surgery very explicitly.
> 
> ANATOMY TALK: Alec uses the word 'boobs' to describe his chest. I knew that can be triggering to people.
> 
> INTERNALISED MISOGYNY: Alec expresses that he feels like he's obligated to keep his breasts because they look good and he feels like he owes his breasts to men and society. This is a VERY SENSITIVE ISSUE and something that personally I've been trying to unpick and unlearn for years, now. I know it's an awful and depressing thing to think about your own body, but it's how I feel, and I hope I'm not alone in that feeling.
> 
> INTERNALISED TRANSPHOBIA: Alec shares his fear that no-one is ever going to find him attractive if he has surgery. Again, an intensely personal issue, one that shouldn't matter to us, but does.

“Simon, it’s Clary. Please pick up the phone, we have to talk about this. I’m worried about you. You don’t have to go through this alone, Simon.” 

Luke sighed, pacing a few feet away as Clary left her third message on Simon’s answering machine. “Clary, let me go after him. I’ll make sure he’s alright.”

“But I did this to him, Luke, it’s my job to make sure he’s okay.” Clary pointed out, eyes raw and red-rimmed from the emotional upheaval of the last 48 hours. 

“You’re a good friend, Clary, and when Simon’s head is clear, he’ll need you. But right now he needs someone who understands what he’s going through. And I’m sorry, kid, but you don’t. Let me talk to him. You go back to the institute, do your job. Simon will be fine, I promise.” Luke insisted, his hands on her shoulders. 

Clary opened her mouth to agree, but before she could vocalise it, her phone started to ring. “Simon?” She asked breathlessly.

“Uh… No. You raised Simon?” Izzy asked, shock in her voice. “Clary, you shouldn’t have done that without me or Alec, it’s dangerous! Are you alright?! Where’s Simon?!”

“He’s fine, I’m fine. I’m with Luke. Simon’s with Raphael.” Clary explained, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Clary… You should have said something.” 

“The two of you disappeared, there was no time to discuss it!” Clary snapped. 

Izzy was silent on the other end of the phone. Clary sighed.

“What’s up?”

Izzy hesitated for a moment. “There was an attack on the institute, there’s a Clave official here wanting to speak to you, and Alec’s hurt… I need you here, Clary.” 

“Oh. Iz, I’m sor-” 

“We need you back here, like… Now.” Izzy carried on, “Raphael and Luke will look after Simon.” 

Clary sighed, looking at Luke. “I’m on my way.”

Izzy didn’t answer her, hanging up and turning her attention back to Alec. The forsaken’s mace had taken a chunk out of his arm, and Robert had insisted on patching him up. The three of them were sat in awkward silence in the infirmary; Alec was still tense and embarrassed that one of Valentine’s creations had gotten the jump on him. 

“An iratze isn’t going to cut it on this,” Robert pointed out unhelpfully, and Izzy and Alec glanced at each other. “Keep it bandaged for a couple of days, make sure it stays dry. Iratze every hour or so.” 

Alec hummed noncommittally, and Izzy squeezed his knee. “Thanks.” 

“No problem. Now, if one of you could supervise the warlock when he turns up, that would be helpful. Your mother and I have to go and brief Lydia on what happened.”

“Which warlock?” Izzy asked, watching Alec out of the corner of her eye.

Robert looked at her blankly. “Does it matter?” 

Izzy shrugged, and stood up. “I’m going to go and find Clary. You can supervise our guest, right, Alec?” She asked, mischief glinting in her eyes.

Robert looked between his two elder children suspiciously, but he didn’t have the inclination to ask. As long as whatever they were doing didn’t get back to the Clave, he didn’t care what they did.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” Alec answered, not bothering to return Izzy’s smirk as he headed to the ops centre to greet Magnus. 

He had to explain to him sooner or later that he was planning to marry Lydia and have surgery he didn’t want, right?

“Alexander!” Magnus was, uncharacteristically, early, and looked delighted to see Alec. Alec was taken aback by how beautifully Magnus was dressed, clad in a navy blue suit with a frilly shirt, his eye makeup dark and striking as always. 

Alec just wanted to run away. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to hurt Magnus’ feelings. But he owed Magnus an explanation. He knew that. 

“Hey,” Alec smiled, lifting his chin a little. “Sorry to keep calling you back like this.”

“Oh, it’s fine. At least this time I’m not burdened with the company of… What’s her name again? The Clave envoy?” 

“Lydia?”

Alec was definitely going to vomit after this.

“Ah, yes, that’s right.” Magnus turned his attention to the wall, waving his fingers to get the magic started. “She seemed… Intense.”

Alec nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets as he watched Magnus work. “She’s… Yeah, she’s… Focussed.” 

“I much prefer having you as my supervisor,” Magnus told him over his shoulder, “anyway, enough talk of dreary Miss Clave, are you alright? I heard that you were there when the forsaken attacked.”

“Oh, yeah,” Alec squeezed his arm a little, eyebrows pinching together from the pain, but it was centering, in a way. It took his mind off how unbelievably awkward he was being. 

Magnus hummed, spinning around and smiling brightly at Alec. “There. All fixed. No more forsakens are going to be getting through these wards.”

“Nothing will get through?” 

“Well…” Magnus sighed, “even my magic has limits. But I can’t think of a way Valentine could get a homemade monster through these.” 

“Right,” Alec pursed his lips. “Good.” 

There was an awkward silence between them, and Magnus frowned. 

“Do you want me to take a look at that injury? I can have it healed in no time…”

“I’m fine, Magnus.”

“If anything were to happen to you…”

“Magnus!” Alec snapped, jerking away as Magnus reached out to touch him. “I don’t need your help, I’m… Fine.” 

Magnus looked confused, and a little hurt. “Alec, have I upset you?”

Alec squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “No, Magnus. No, I just…” He glanced around, his stomach twisting in knots as he spotted Lydia walking purposefully towards the two of them. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

Lydia didn’t give Magnus a second glance, her eyes trained on Alec. “We’re bringing in the Seelie Knight Meliorn to gather more information on Valentine’s return. I thought you’d like to be there.” 

“Nice to see you again, Miss Branwell,” Magnus smirked, hands tangling together behind his back. Lydia gave him a stiff nod. 

“Why Meliorn?” Alec asked, but he was interrupted by Izzy running past him. He followed her with his eyes until he saw Meliorn walking in from the other side of the room, flanked by two of their bigger shadowhunters. 

“Meliorn?!” Izzy reached his side first, Lydia hot on her heels. “What are you doing here?” 

“The Clave called me in for some kind of conference,” Meliorn explained, a little taken aback when Izzy hugged him tightly. “What are you…? I thought you never wanted to see me again.”

“My family…”

“Despises downworlders? Well, yes.”

Izzy pressed her lips together. “I had to, for Alec.”

Meliorn looked at her with disapproval, his lips pursed.

“What’s going on?” Magnus asked Alec.

“I have no idea…” Alec admitted, folding his arms.

“Meliorn, the Clave has ordered that you be placed under arrest.” Lydia informed him, as unruffled as ever.

“Now, wait a minute…” Alec started, “he’s under arrest? I thought you said you wanted to talk to him.”

The two bulky shadowhunters closed in on Meliorn, each taking one of the Seelie’s arms. “We have reason to believe that Meliorn has been soliciting state secrets from a shadowhunter on behalf of Valentine Morgenstern.” Lydia explained, giving Izzy a disdainful look.

“What kind of mental gymnastics did you have to do to get to that conclusion?” Alec snapped, “you’re really blaming Valentine’s attack on Izzy and the Seelies?! Why would the Seelies want Valentine to rise?!” 

“I can see the Branwell family resemblance,” Magnus sneered, glowering at Lydia. “Now, if you’d kindly pay me for my services, I’ll be on my way. This place is a hub of bigotry, and I can’t stand to be here any longer than necessary. By the way, my prices just doubled.” 

“I didn’t tell Meliorn anything, all I did was ask him why the Seelies had stopped communicating with the Clave.” Izzy insisted, turning to give Lydia the full force of her glare. 

“Guards,” Lydia sighed, ignoring the Lightwood siblings as she took a checkbook from her jacket. Meliorn was dragged away, and Alec put a restraining hand on Izzy’s shoulder. “I assume this will be enough to appease your outrage, Mr Bane,” Lydia murmured as she wrote out the check, ripping it out with a flourish and handing it to Magnus.

Magnus looked at the number, pursed his lips, and ripped it in half. “I don’t take checks.” 

“Well unfortunately the institute does not have a safe full of gold or whatever it is you’re intent on collecting, so I suggest you take it up with the Clave directly.” Lydia replied coolly, and Alec winced. 

“Lydia, he did his job.”

“And he’ll be paid. Just not by me.” 

Magnus raised his chin, and turned a sweet smile to Alec. “You know, it really is a testament to how much I enjoy your fleeting company, that I keep coming back here, Alexander.”

Izzy glanced nervously at Lydia, who was looking at Alec with raised eyebrows.

“Thank you for your help Mag… Mr Bane.” Alec gave him a tight smile, inclining his head respectfully.

Magnus was obviously taken aback at the formality, and narrowed his eyes a little, glancing between Lydia, Izzy and Alec. “You know where to find me if you need anything else.” 

“You’ll be dealing with me from now on, Mr Bane. Mr Lightwood is no longer in control of this institute. Please communicate with my office from now on rather than contact Mr Lightwood. His duties do not include chaperoning downworlders.” Lydia cut in, taking Alec’s elbow. 

Alec couldn’t repress the way he recoiled at her touch, his shoulders raising to his ears. 

“I see.” Magnus’ eyebrow arched a little at Lydia’s words, and he didn’t look at Alec, either. What on Earth had happened since the last time he spoke to Alec, in his bedroom, only yesterday? “Well, I have some business in the infirmary before I leave, delivering some potions. I presume I’m free to make my way there myself, or do I require a chaperone for that, as well?”

“Isabelle,” Lydia said pointedly, “please make sure Mr Bane doesn’t get lost on his way to the infirmary.”

“That’s not necessary, Lydia,” Alec tried, but Lydia didn’t look at him, her steely blue eyes fixed on Magnus’ dark, simmering ones. 

“It’s fine,” Izzy insisted, looping her arm through Magnus’. “We always have great fun together. Don’t we, Magnus?” 

Magnus smirked at her, before turning with a perfectly innocent expression back to Lydia. “Yes. Isabelle and I are the very best of friends. Come, my dear, we have much to discuss.” 

Lydia looked like her head was about to explode when Izzy and Magnus sauntered off together, whispering to each other with matching grins on their faces. Alec’s lips twitched. He’d never found pettiness particularly attractive before, but Magnus was so endearing and ridiculous in the way he tried to get under Lydia’s skin, Alec couldn’t help but fall a little deeper.

“We need to find another warlock to use.” Lydia insisted, and Alec quirked an eyebrow at her.

“Magnus is the best warlock in the city.”

Lydia pursed her lips. “I don’t like his attitude.”

Well I don’t like yours, Alec opened his mouth to say, but took a deep breath instead. “If we refuse to recognise Magnus’ authority among the warlocks in New York, it could cause political awkwardness. I’m afraid you and Magnus will have to put your differences aside.”

After a moment of consideration, Lydia allowed it. “I suppose you’re right.” 

“For the record, he’s right.” Alec pointed out, “the arrest of Meliorn will only strain relations with the Seelie Queen, which makes her more likely to be loyal to Valentine. You have no concrete evidence to suggest that the Seelies are involved with Valentine in the slightest. It’s a bad move.”

“Better he’s arrested than your sister,” Lydia answered, looking up at Alec. “You’re lucky that the Clave decided to forgive her foolishness instead of punish her for it.”

“What foolishness do you mean? Sleeping with a Seelie? Because the last time I checked, there was no law against shadowhunters being romantically involved with downworlders.” 

“She told him state secrets, Alec. It’s a serious offence.”

“I’m sorry, were you there in the room? Did you overhear their conversations?” Alec asked sarcastically. “Because to me it sounds like you’re making a lot of assumptions here, Lydia.”

“Alec, the law is hard, but it’s the law. This is not my decision. I am simply following orders.” Lydia said firmly. “If we’re going to be married-”

“Keep your voice down!” Alec hissed, looking around to check that no-one was listening. Really, he was double checking that Magnus was out of earshot. He’d hate to have him find out like that. 

Lydia gave him an unimpressed look. “If we’re going to be working together you need to respect that I follow the Clave’s orders without question. They know what’s best for all of us.”

Alec bit back a retort, knowing that Lydia would turn him over to the Clave without batting an eye if she suspected that he was anything less than blindly loyal. 

So much for a strong partnership. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clary caught up with Izzy and Magnus in the infirmary. Izzy was sitting on one of the beds, watching Magnus restock the potion cabinet with glass bottles he was conjuring from his apothecary one at a time.

“I think something’s changed since yesterday. When we were alone, he was a sweetheart. And now he’s acting like the idea of my touch terrifies him. I’m not sure what I did…” Magnus was saying, and Izzy nodded, humming.

“He does seem extra tense today.” She agreed, “it’s probably because he has to hide the cup from Lydia.”

“Who’s Lydia?” Clary asked in lieu of announcing her presence.

Izzy didn’t meet her eyes, instead looking down at her feet. “Lydia is the Clave envoy, and she’s awful. She just arrested Meliorn, she’s blaming him for the forsaken attacks.”

“What? Meliorn has nothing to do with any of this…” Clary shook her head. “Now I understand why you warned me not to trust shadowhunters,” she told Magnus, who snorted.

“Lydia’s just the mouthpiece of the Clave, no better or worse than any of them. It’s just Alec and Izzy that are extraordinarily liberal.” Magnus explained, twisting one of the bottles on the shelf so the label showed clearly. 

“If this is the attitude the Clave have, we can’t let them get the cup before we stop Valentine.” Izzy decided, standing up. “Magnus, we need to steal it.” 

Magnus glanced over his shoulder with narrowed eyes. “Why do I have to be involved?”

“If I were capable of stealing Alec’s stele, I’d do it myself. We need you to conjure it.” Izzy shrugged.

“Absolutely not!” Magnus laughed, “if Alec found out…” 

“Alec will understand. He hates the Clave more than any of us.” Clary insisted, folding her arms. “Magnus, you can put it back in his pocket the second we have the cup.” 

“It’ll take literally a minute.” Izzy promised. “I’d just ask him to give us the cup, but he needs plausible deniability, and besides, Lydia’s been sticking to him like a limpet.” 

Magnus sighed, massaging his forehead with his fingertips. “And you have a plan to stop Valentine with the cup?” 

“Yes,” Clary answered a little too quickly. “It’ll be safe, I promise. It’s hidden inside a painting; Valentine wouldn’t be able to get it out of there without me or my Mom, so even if it did fall into his hands…”

After another moment of contemplation, Magnus dropped his hand from his face. “Fine. I’ll do it.” He promised, and the two women breathed a sigh of relief. “Hopefully I’ll find Alec alone and we can get to the bottom of exactly what’s going on with him…” 

“You’ll both feel better if you talk about it,” Izzy encouraged, slipping her hands into her back pockets. 

Magnus rolled his head on his shoulders and groaned. “Alright. Go to where the cup is hidden, text me a picture of your exact location. Once you’ve used the stele, put it back where it appeared and text me. Then I can put it back where it belongs.”

“Got it,” Clary nodded, giving Magnus a pat on the shoulder as he walked past her out the door. 

Neither her not Izzy said anything for a moment as they found themselves alone. 

Clary wasn’t going to apologise for bringing Simon back. She couldn’t have done anything differently. And Izzy had been raised to believe that becoming a vampire was a fate worse than death.

“We should go to the ops centre,” Izzy said quietly, “it won’t take Magnus long to find Alec with his magic.” 

Clary hummed in agreement, faltering in the doorway until Izzy caught up with her, and they were on their awkwardly silent way.

“How’s Simon?” Izzy asked, hesitation in her voice.

“He’s with Luke and Raphael. He was freaked out when he woke up, but Luke said that he’ll adapt.” 

“Yeah… I’m sure he will.” Izzy offered. 

Clary sighed. “I’m not sorry that I raised him. I’m sorry that I got him killed, and I’m sorry that I didn’t consult you and Alec, but I would have done the same thing no matter what either of you said.” 

“I know,” Izzy sounded troubled, but not surprised. “I’m trying not to be angry but you have no idea what kind of discrimination Simon is going to be faced with. I feel like you took this decision too lightly.” 

“Lightly?!” Clary almost laughed in disbelief. “Nothing about the last week of my life has been light, Iz.” 

Izzy pressed her lips together. “You’re right.”

“You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t do the same if you were me and Simon were Alec.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do in that situation. But I know I’d be tempted.” She admitted, squatting down by the in-floor storage. 

“So you get it?” Clary asked. There was an edge of hope in her voice that melted Izzy’s resolve a little.

“I do,” Izzy confirmed, “it just made me feel weird that you didn’t talk to me about it. But… I was busy. I don’t know. Forget it.” 

Clary shrugged a little. “I like that you were honest about your feelings. You don’t bullshit, and…” Clary smiled, slipping her hand into Izzy’s. “It’s one of the things I like most about you.” 

“Yeah?” Izzy grinned, tilting her head to the side, and Clary nodded, squeezing her fingers. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus found Alec in his bedroom, but this time he didn’t approach the door. Instead, he checked the hallway, making sure that no shadowhunters were around to see what he was about to do. It would not do to be arrested for spying on a shadowhunter. Lydia would take any opportunity to lock him up after his dig at her family, he knew that. Perhaps it had been foolish to rile her, but there were limited opportunities for Magnus to be petty, being the High Warlock. He had to take his openings where he got them. 

He swept his hand along the wall, rendering it see-through, and spotted Alec’s stele in his jacket pocket where it was slung over his desk. Alec himself was perched on the edge of it, in his binder, changing the bandage on his forsaken injury. With a snap of his fingers, Magnus banished the stele to the ops centre floor, where Izzy had photographed, and waited, bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently. 

After a few moments that felt like an eternity of trying not to peek at Alec’s private moment, Magnus’ phone buzzed, and he put the stele back where it had been right as Alec reached for his jacket. Magnus put the wall back the way he’d found it as Alec headed and panicked for a moment, before just pressing his hands to the wall. 

“Magnus?” Alec asked, opening his bedroom door. “What…?”

“I sensed a blip in the wards,” Magnus lied, but Alec quirked his eyebrow. “Alright… I was worried about you. You seem tense.” 

Alec checked up and down the hallway much like Magnus had. “I want you to hear this from me, alright?”

“Alright…” Magnus echoed, fiddling with his cravat. 

“I’m getting married.” 

Magnus’ face was blank for a moment. “You’re… What?” 

Alec grimaced. “I’m marrying Lydia.”

“Lydia?”

The utter flatness of Magnus’ eyes was freaking Alec out, and he found it all tumbling out, unable to stop himself.

“After Izzy kissed Clary, my Mom told me that the only way to keep the Clave from finding a reason to banish Izzy and I was to have surgery and marry a woman. Lydia came along, and she seemed competent, if a little…”

“Racist?” 

Alec swallowed hard. “I know I can bring her around. She’s stubborn, but if I can show her how corrupt and bigoted the Clave are… We’d make a solid partnership.”

“A solid partnership?” Magnus sounded bitter, now. “That’s hot.” 

Alec felt a wave of pure misery wash over him, and for a moment he thought he might just cry, right here. He knew it was a bad idea to marry Lydia, he knew he’d regret it, but he didn’t know what else to do. “Magnus, please, try to understand. I can’t have it all. I have to make compromises if I want to live as a man and remain a shadowhunter.” 

Magnus swallowed hard, nodding. “Right. Yes, yes, I… I get it, Alexander.” He sighed. “I get it. But Lydia?!” 

“Not many women would marry a trans guy, Magnus.”

“Trans is not all that you are.” Magnus insisted, stepping closer, his hand going to Alec’s arm. “You’re fierce, loyal, sensible, intelligent, good-natured, and kind. Not to mention absolutely beautiful to look at. You deserve better, even if it’s not me. Even if you do have to marry a woman, you… You should marry a woman who’s good to you, even if you can’t be in love.” 

Alec could feel his eyes misting, and he dragged his gaze away from Magnus up to the ceiling. “I don’t have the luxury of having what I want.” He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “What I want is you. But I can’t fall for a downworlder, be trans, be gay, and keep my position. Something has to give, Magnus. And… I’m sorry, but I can’t sacrifice my transition for you.” 

“I know, I don’t want you to,” Magnus insisted. “I’d never, ever want you to do that. I’d only want you as your whole self. I’d want everything that you are.” He reached out to brush his fingertips against the middle of Alec’s chest, right over his heart. “All I want is for you to feel whole, Alec. I know how it feels to have nothing but empty space inside you, and I never want that for you. Please, Alec… Please, at least look into other women. Maybe there’ll be one who won’t care about you having surgery. Don’t settle like this.” 

“I always knew I had to have surgery at some point, Magnus. It’ll be… Fine.” 

Magnus looked utterly heartbroken, and Alec couldn’t look at him any more.

“I’m sorry.” 

Magnus shook his head, sniffing. “I’m sorry, too.” He reached up tentatively, running the backs of his fingers along Alec’s cheek. “If you ever need a place to run or an ear to listen, you know where I am.”

“Yeah,” Alec nodded, his heart heavy.

“Goodbye, Alec.” 

Alec shoved his hands in his pockets as Magnus stepped away, staring resolutely at the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, we have the cup and the portal necklace. We just need to play keep away from Lydia until we figure out a way to track down Valentine.” Izzy murmured, watching as Lydia strutted around the ops centre barking orders like she owned the place. “I think you should get out of here, Clary. We’ll give you a blocking rune and you can go to and visit Simon. You’ll be safe with him and the vampires, as long as they don’t know you have the Cup.” 

“Yeah, good call,” Clary agreed, hitching her satchel a little higher up her shoulder, slipping her fingers inside it to check that the tarot card was still there. “If they ask where I am, just say you don’t know. Plausible deniability and all that.” 

Izzy nodded, rubbing Clary’s arm. She noticed Lydia watching them from across the room, and glared at her over Clary’s shoulder. Lydia glared back, but looked away after a moment. 

“What’s going on?” Alec asked, appearing behind Izzy. 

“Clary’s going to go and check on Simon. Somehow I doubt that Lydia’s got her best interests at heart, and Simon needs her support right now.”

“So you decided to raise him?” Alec asked, though there was no judgement in his voice. “How’s he taking it?”

Clary shrugged. “I’m not sure. Luke’s with him, though, so I know he’s being looked after. I’ll see you both later, yeah? Let me know when Lydia’s finished her rampage.” 

“Yeah, will do,” Alec promised, one eye on his fiancee as Clary hurried out of the room. Lydia watched her go, but made no move to follow, instead turning her attention back to the screen in front of her. 

“I hate her,” Izzy growled quietly. “She calls Meliorn in and arrests him, then acts like it’s all out of her hands. If she’s going to racially profile downworlders, I wish she’d just admit it.” 

Alec inhaled sharply, picking up a quiver of arrows to inspect them. He stayed quiet as Izzy breathed heavily next to him, her chest heaving with outrage. 

“Well? Aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I am,” Alec murmured, “what she’s doing with Meliorn is wrong, but if she really has had orders direct from the Clave, she can’t exactly ignore them.” 

Izzy snorted. “You believe her? Did you know that she’s sending Mom and Dad back to Idris?”

“Good,” Alec replied bitterly. “I don’t want to see them.” 

“I know, but without them here Lydia’s going to be watching us a lot more carefully,” Izzy pointed out, folding her arms. “Anyway, what’s going on with you? Magnus said you were acting weird with him.” 

Alec pursed his lips, putting down the quiver. “Lydia told me that Mom and Dad were in the Circle.”

“What?!” Izzy hissed, face screwing up in disbelief. “That’s not possible, they don’t have circle runes. Why would she lie about something like that?!” 

“Iz, come on,” Alec sighed. “Think about it. Their hatred of downworlders, their insistence that we have to have squeaky clean records, the fact that they never talk about what they were doing to fight against the Uprising…” 

Izzy shook her head. “But they don’t have circle runes…”

“Because they acted as double agents when the Uprising got out of hand and Valentine started killing shadowhunters. In exchange for information about Valentine’s planned attacks, they were granted a pardon after Valentine fell. Lydia told me that our parents were in the Circle, so I sent a fire message to Ragnor Fell in Idris, remember, our old downworlder relations teacher? He confirmed it all, Iz. It’s true.” 

Part of Alec wished he hadn’t told his sister the truth, at least not so bluntly. She looked like she was about to cry or punch something. He sighed, and opened his arms. Izzy fell into them, burying her face in his side. 

“I can’t believe it.” 

“Iz… We have to prepare ourselves. Our parents were in control of the institute when that forsaken got in. They could have gone back to Valentine.” Alec told her, swallowing hard. “Which is why I’ve had to make moves to protect us quickly.”

Izzy pulled back to look up at him, her eyebrows pinched in the middle. “What kind of moves?”

“I asked Lydia to marry me,” Alec confessed, the words spiky in his mouth. 

“You did what?!” Izzy’s tears were gone now, and instead she looked positively murderous. “You asked that stuck-up, snobby, racist piece of shit to marry you?! Have you lost your goddamn mind?!” 

“Izzy, she’s like, right across the room…”

“I don’t care! She arrested Meliorn, Alec!” 

“And she’s going to let him go the moment she realises that he’s innocent.” Alec assured her, “we can watch the interrogation from here. Look, there she goes…” 

Lydia paraded out of the room with two shadowhunters flanking her, heading for the elevator and, no doubt, the magic-proof cells in the basement. Alec and Izzy hurried over to a terminal and Alec quickly logged into the cameras, flicking through the video feeds until they found Meliorn’s cell. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at the glass in front of him. As always, he looked totally unruffled. 

“Meliorn,” Lydia walked into the cell, the two shadowhunters from before hot on her heels. They closed the door of the cell behind them, and Meliorn got to his feet. “What do you know about the attack on this institute that occured yesterday?” 

Meliorn raised an eyebrow at her. Izzy shook her head a little as she watched.

“And Mom thinks I’m the one who doesn’t know how to keep things polite with the Seelies…” She muttered, “Lydia’s got a real flair for diplomacy.” 

Alec sighed, and elbowed Izzy lightly, trying to listen to Meliorn’s response.

“I am aware that there was an attack, that somehow a creature of evil intent crossed your sacred wards.” Meliorn explained.

“And how did you learn of this attack?”

“The Seelie Queen sees everything, and I am one of her closest advisors. She was concerned that if one of Valentine’s creations got into an institute, they could get into the Seelie realm.” 

Lydia hummed. “And did you know that Seelie blood was used to create these creatures?” 

Meliorn blinked slowly. “It doesn’t surprise me, considering we have angel blood that would allow it to pass through your wards.” 

“But did you know this before I just told you?” Lydia pressed.

Meliorn tilted his head to the side. “I had assumed.” 

Lydia quite clearly didn’t believe him. 

“Why am I here, Miss Branwell?” Meliorn asked, looking around the plain, vacant room. “It would seem to me that the Clave has greater problems than determining whether or not the Seelies are giving blood willingly to Valentine.” 

Lydia frowned, bristling visibly. “Is that a threat?”

“No, you dumbass,” Alec hissed, rolling his eyes.

“You’d say that about your fiancee?” Izzy asked sarcastically, and Alec gave her a dirty look.

“You realise that one of your own is already in possession of the Mortal Cup, and is hiding it from you?” Meliorn asked, a smug note in his voice.

Lydia flexed her neck, chuckling hollowly. “That’s impossible.” 

Meliorn smiled sweetly. “It seems as if your leadership skills aren’t quite as pristine as you’d have the Clave believe.” 

“Fuck yes, Meliorn,” Izzy growled.

“Shush, if he implicates us, we’re dead,” Alec muttered.

“Who is it?” Lydia demanded. Meliorn sighed, and clasped his hands together behind his back.

“Miss Fairchild has more reason than most to want to get to Valentine first.” 

“Clary Fairchild has the cup?!” Lydia demanded, and Alec and Izzy closed the video feed, bursting into action.

“You call Clary. I’m going to do some more research, figure out if there’s any solid evidence that will free Meliorn.” Izzy told him, and he nodded, pulling out his new phone. Luckily, the institute had several spare phones ready to go; demon ichor tended to wreck iPhones, anyway. 

“Clary? Have you activated your blocking rune?” Alec demanded the moment she picked up the phone. 

“Uh, yeah. Alec, why? Has something else happened?” She asked.

Alec started pacing back and forth. “Lydia knows you found the cup, she’s going to be coming after you with everything she’s got. You have to figure out a way to use that portal shard, because you’ve got 48 hours, tops.” 

“Oh, shit.” Clary muttered. “Okay, okay, I’ll call Magnus, ask him if he can help me with it. He invented portals, right? Maybe he’ll know what to do.” 

“Yeah, yeah, good call. If anyone can tell us how to use it, it’s him. I’ll keep you updated as much as possible, Izzy will try and join you when she can, okay? Are you in a safe place?”

“I’m with Simon and Raphael, at the Hotel DuMort.” 

“Well, not exactly safe, but…” Alec chuckled despite himself. “Alright. Tell Simon we’re thinking of him.”

“Uhhh… Sure. He’ll appreciate it. See you soon, Alec.” Clary said, before hanging up.

“Alec! There you are!” Lydia called, and Alec shoved his phone in his pocket as he spun around, hoping that he didn’t look as freaked out as he felt. “I need your help. We’re moving Meliorn to the City of Bones.” 

Alec’s mouth fell open. If he hadn’t looked freaked out before, he knew he definitely did now. “Are you insane? You have no evidence that he’s done anything wrong and you’re going to expose him to the Silent Brothers? Lydia, the Seelie Queen will be furious, this could mean war.” 

“We need more information. This isn’t a sentence, it’s just that the Silent Brothers are better equipped to question him.” 

“Using the Soul Sword, which could very easily kill him.” Alec pointed out, “no. No, this is insane, you cannot be serious. Come on, Lydia, it’s not worth it. It’s not worth a war with the Seelies.” 

Lydia raised her chin. “The Clave has already given its support to my plan. It’s done. Are you going to help me with the transfer, future husband, or am I going to have to confine you to your quarters?” 

“If the Clave commands it, I will help. But I want it on record that I think this is a mistake.” Alec answered. There was no way he could help Meliorn from his locked bedroom; he had to go along with Lydia’s plan so he could somehow foil it. 

“Your opinion has been noted.” Lydia nodded, her shoulders easing a little. “We’re doing the right thing, Alec. We need to have all the information.”

“Information isn’t as important as a man’s life.” 

Lydia sighed, taking Alec’s elbow and leading him to a quiet corner of the ops centre. “Alec, you know I lost my husband. Do you know how?” 

“No…” Alec answered slowly. What did that have to do with anything?”

“John and I were running the Lisbon institute. We had a tip-off that there was a nest of demons in the South of the city, and we managed to catch a werewolf that had been doing supply runs for them. The Clave told me to use any means necessary to get the information we needed out of this werewolf, but I refused to use the Silent Brothers because, like you, I was afraid for the wolf’s safety. So we just took him at his word that there were only 20 demons in the nest.”

Alec sighed, pursing his lips. He knew what was coming.

“There were over 150. The werewolf had set us up, and… We were overwhelmed. John was killed right in front of me, and it wasn’t just the werewolf’s fault. It was mine. If I’d had the stomach to put the wolf through interrogations, if I hadn’t assumed that werewolves and downworlders actually want to stop demons, if I’d thought that they had a shred of humanity…”

“Lydia, that was one werewolf…”

“Then John would still be alive.” Lydia insisted, her lips twitching. 

Alec shook his head, hands on his hips. “I understand why you’re loathe to trust downworlders, but not all of them are allied with demons.”

“But enough of them are, Alec. I can’t take that chance. Not again.” Lydia said firmly. “Now, where did Miss Fairchild go? Meliorn made some allegations against her that I need to look into.” 

“What kind of allegations?” Alec asked, his heart thumping so hard it felt like he was about to have a heart attack. 

Lydia straightened up, looking Alec square in the eye. “The Seelie Queen believes that Miss Fairchild is in possession of the Mortal Cup. I don’t suppose you’d be able to shed some light on this, would you? I mean, it has been your job to keep an eye on her.” 

“If Clary has the cup in her possession, it’s news to me.” Alec told her, and it wasn’t a lie. As far as Alec knew, the cup was hidden in the floor under their feet. But he wasn’t about to tell her that.

After a long, searching look into Alec’s face, Lydia glanced away, scanning the room. “Where’s your sister? No doubt she knows where Miss Fairchild is.” 

“Izzy’s working in the laboratory, trying to find some evidence to free Meliorn. Leave her out of this, you know that it’s a conflict of interest for her.” Alec urged her, “it’s best if she hears of Meliorn’s fate from me. If she knows where Clary is, I’ll let you know.” 

Lydia nodded. “Alright. We’re planning to move Meliorn at 1900 hours. Report back here at 1800 hours for the briefing.” 

“Got it,” Alec went to move away, but Lydia put her hand on his chest. He froze, eyes wide.

“Alec, we’re doing the right thing. I know you’ll understand when we bring in Valentine.” 

Alec swallowed hard, clenching his hands together behind his back.

“I think maybe we should spend some time together, once we’ve dropped Meliorn off. It would be awful marrying a stranger, wouldn’t it?” She coaxed, looking up at him with a tentativeness that made Alec want to vomit. 

“I’m very busy,” he said quickly, stepping out of her reach. “And I think it’s best that we keep this professional.” 

Lydia frowned. “Come on, Alec, we’re going to be husband and wife. We should be on friendly terms.” 

“I’ll think about it,” he promised, stumbling backwards and getting the hell out of there before she could creep him out any more.

Magnus was right; Lydia was not right for him, even if he took love out of the equation. She repulsed him. She was rude, arrogant, bigoted, and selfish. He hated her. 

What the fuck was he going to do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Magnus reached out to his friends in the Seelie Realm, but with this stuff happening with Meliorn, Magnus doubts that any of them are going to be open to helping us.” Clary explained, her voice tinny through Izzy’s phone speakers. 

“And he’s sure we definitely need a Seelie’s portal?” 

“Yeah, he said he’s not capable of making a portal to an alternate dimension, at least not without a Seelie to help him.” Clary explained, “the portal from the shard is in this alternate dimension, one that Magnus can’t access alone.” 

Izzy sighed. “Fuck. So we have to get Meliorn out of the Clave’s control.” 

“We have an opportunity,” Alec told her as he walked into the room, making her jump. “Lydia’s planning to take Meliorn to the City of Bones. Wait, before you go off on a rant, hear me out. I’m part of the security working the mission, and I got you out of it because of a potential conflict of interest. So, you and Clary can pick off the rest of the security detail, and then I can, quote unquote, fight off the mystery attacker, and Meliorn can escape with you and Clary. Meliorn can make the portal for Clary while you race back to the institute to establish your alibi.” 

“Iz, that sounds like it could work. I can ask Raphael to help, as well. You know he doesn’t want a war to break out.” Clary suggested. Izzy just looked shocked.

“She’s really handing him over to the Silent Brothers? Just like that?” Izzy asked, her eyebrows pinched.

Alec sighed. “She has a whole tragic backstory that she gave me telling me why she likes wringing information out of downworlders with torture. I’d feel bad for her if she wasn’t using it as an excuse to persecute an entire race.” 

“Sounds like Lydia,” Izzy scoffed, squeezing Alec’s shoulder. “Alright, let’s do it.”

“Raphael says he and four other vampires can help us out. Magnus said he’ll provide an alibi for Izzy and go by the institute to cover for her just in case she doesn’t get back in time.” Clary told them, and Alec smiled. 

This was totally going to work. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Does everyone understand their roles in the operation?” Lydia checked one last time, eyebrows furrowing as she noticed Magnus making his way around the edge of the ops centre. 

Alec watched her follow Magnus with his eyes, relieved that she’d seen him herself. It would make Izzy’s alibi of working on the forsaken corpse a lot more believable. Lydia walked up to him as the rest of the shadowhunters dispersed to grab their weapons, and Alec tucked his hands into his pockets.

“What’s he doing here?” She demanded.

“I told you, Izzy’s working to find evidence on the body that Seelies weren’t involved in creating it. I’m guessing Magnus is here to help her.” Alec shrugged, “she’s not gonna let you get away with this without a fight.” 

Lydia nodded, pursing her lips. “I can understand that. Her loyalty is admirable, it’s just a shame that it isn’t directed at the Clave.”

“The Clave has yet to give her a reason to trust them.” Alec said quietly.

“You trust them, and you have more reason than her to resent them.” 

Alec laughed humourlessly, slinging his bow over his shoulder. “Don’t remind me.”

“Sorry. Good luck.” Lydia smiled, squeezing his arm. 

“It won’t take long, we’ll be back in an hour or so.” 

“Did you think anymore on our relationship? I really think we should at least try to develop some kind of bond, Alec.” Lydia pressed.

God, did she ever give up? “I haven’t had time to think about it… It’s been less than three hours.” 

“Right,” Lydia nodded, “it’s just that, I admire you. I admire your spirit and your love for your family. I think that we could have something nice. Maybe we’re not going to be the love story of the century, but I think we could be happy. If we tried.” 

“Maybe, I don’t know. Look, I need to go.” Alec murmured. Was he being cruel? Should he give her a chance? 

As he turned to go, Alec caught Magnus’ eye across the room, and the both of them froze, reading utter misery in each other’s eyes. Alec couldn’t breathe for a moment, and for once it had nothing to do with his binder. 

Magnus was the first to turn away, and Alec watched his retreating back head down the corridor towards the elevators. When he snapped out of his reverie, Lydia had disappeared, and Alec sighed, heading for the door. 

Alec was the one who’d been put in charge of physically escorting Meliorn, his hand firmly on the Seelie’s shoulder. He hadn’t explained the plan to Meliorn, hadn’t had the time, but Meliorn didn’t seem surprised when two of the shadowhunters that had been bringing up the rear suddenly disappeared from behind them with strangled yelps. The vampires hadn’t been seen, too fast for their eyes to keep up, and Alec breathed a sigh of relief that Clary and Izzy wouldn’t be implicated. 

“I’ll take Meliorn on towards the City of Bones, hold this position!” Alec commanded, breaking into a jog and pulling Meliorn along with him. 

“Are you going to betray your sister, Mr Lightwood?” Meliorn asked placidly, and Alec looked behind them. Once he was sure that the rest of the team were occupied trying to fight off the vampires, Alec stopped and used his stele to unlock Meliorn’s handcuffs. 

“We have a plan. We’re going to free you, but we need your help to stop Valentine. Can you make portals to alternate dimensions?” Alec asked, tugging Meliorn around the corner out of sight. 

Meliorn looked surprised, for once. “Yes, I can. Why do you need an inter-dimensional portal to catch Valentine?” 

“Clary has a portal shard that will take her to Valetine’s lair, but the portal it belongs to is in a different dimension. So can you help us?” 

Izzy and Clary came around the corner, slightly out of breath, in time to hear Meliorn assent to their plan. 

“Valentine must be stopped,” Meliorn agreed, “but I can only allow one shadowhunter to enter this alternate dimension. It’s a world where demons no longer exist, it’s very peaceful. The Clave was shut down centuries ago, and downworlders exist in harmony with the mundanes. It is very heavily guarded by the Seelie Queen.” 

“Clary should go,” Alec said, turning to Izzy, “she’s already missing as far as the institute knows, and Clary’s going to need the prestige of stopping Valentine if you two are going to get married.” 

“Married?” Clary repeated, eyes going wide. “We haven’t even been on a date yet!” 

Alec narrowed his eyes at her. “So you’re not serious about my sister?” 

“Alec, oh my God,” Izzy groaned, shoving him lightly. “Focus. Yes, okay, we’ll send Clary. The two of us have to go back to the institute anyway.”

Meliorn pursed his lips. “I can only keep the portal open for 24 hours. Demons will be drawn to it, tempted by a pure and peaceful world. If you don’t find and go through your portal by then, I’m afraid you’ll be lost to that world, and you’ll cease to exist in ours.”

Clary nodded, “understood. Iz, can I talk to you for a second?” 

“You have to be quick, Izzy needs to beat the others back to the institute.” Alec reminded them, though the last thing he wanted was to rush them. 

“It won’t take long.” Clary promised, tugging Izzy a few feet away from the two men. “Listen, I don’t want to do this with you still mad at me. If I die…”

“You’re going to be fine, Clary. You’ve got the element of surprise on your side. Your plan is going to work.” Izzy insisted, gripping Clary’s hands. “You’ve been training for this.” 

Clary sighed, stepping closer to wind her fingers in Izzy’s hair, their foreheads coming together. “But if something goes wrong, I need you to know that I don’t regret a second of it. Not meeting you, not becoming a shadowhunter, not… Nothing. I wouldn’t trade that kiss we had for anything.” 

“Me neither,” Izzy whispered, closing her eyes as her hands wrapped around Clary’s wrists. “And I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t come back, so please be careful, Clary.” 

“I’m coming back,” Clary assured her, her hands dropping to Izzy’s waist. “You know how stubborn I am.” 

Izzy grinned, and angled her head in for a kiss. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec didn’t have time to ask Izzy if she was alright, because Meliorn opened a portal for her back to the institute the second that she turned away from Clary, and half a second later, Clary and Meliorn had disappeared through a second portal. Alec found himself alone, though after a moment, Simon appeared before him. 

“You need to look like you’ve been fighting,” he pointed out, ruffling Alec’s hair.

Alec batted his hand away, fixing his hair. “I’m an archer, I wouldn’t have been fighting hand to hand either way.” 

“Wait so you’d just stand there and let someone take your prisoner? That’s lame, dude.” Simon teased.

“I see vampirism didn’t cause you to lose your sense of humour,” Alec smirked, rumpling his shirt. 

Simon shrugged. “Takes more than a little bit of death to stop me from taking the piss out of you.” 

Alec laughed, shaking his head. “Alright, noted. Now get out of here before the others see you.” 

Simon saluted at him, and was gone with a breath of wind. 

The other shadowhunters didn’t seem surprised that Meliorn had gotten away, and Alec knew they didn’t suspect any wrongdoing; a couple of them had heard the snarls of vampires, so no doubt Lydia would play it off as a downworlder vigilante and move on. They trudged back to the institute, Alec pretending that he was injured so Izzy would have more time to get herself and her alibi situated. The other shadowhunters in the team retreated to the infirmary or to their quarters the moment they were back, leaving Alec to explain their failure to Lydia. 

“Meliorn got away,” Alec told her, “we were ambushed.” 

Lydia sighed, shaking her head. “He was our only lead.” 

“He’ll be back under the protection of the Seelie Queen, now. Besides, look at it this way. Now you won’t have the torture of a downworlder on your conscience.” 

“Clary Fairchild is still missing. I wonder if she had anything to do with it…” Lydia mused deliberately, a careful eye on Alec’s face.

“I wouldn’t know.” Alec shrugged. “I’m injured. May I be dismissed?” 

Lydia straightened up. “You are?”

“Well, I think the iratze got most of it. I just feel a little twinge in my side.” 

“Was it really that bad? Who attacked you?” 

“I’m not sure,” Alec answered, “the others think it was a downworlder of some kind. I didn’t get a look, my bow was basically useless.”

Lydia hummed, pressing her lips together. “Well, I expect a full report. Though it can wait until tomorrow. Where’s your sister?” 

Alec tilted his head to the side. “I assume she’s still downstairs. I wasn’t gone too long, was I?” 

“Of course. I’ll check the security logs.” 

Alec’s eye twitched. “Don’t you trust her word?” 

“No, not really,” Lydia answered coolly. “Her judgement is clouded by her personal relationship with the Seelie. As far as I’m concerned, she’s our main suspect in this matter.” 

“What?” Alec laughed, shaking his head. “You’re going to accuse your fiance’s sister of conspiring to thwart a Clave mission?” 

“So now I’m your fiancee…”

Alec put his hands on his hips. “Lydia, what exactly is it you want from me? I’m trying to reach out to you, here.” 

Lydia raised her chin. “I know you’re trying to manipulate me, and it’s not going to work.” 

“Think whatever you want.” Alec huffed, “I’m going to get checked over. Go and check on Izzy if that’ll make you feel better.” 

When Alec got back to his room after a quick check over in the infirmary, Robert was sitting on his couch. Alec quirked his eyebrow, and slowly closed the door. At the sound of the door clicking shut, Robert’s head snapped up, disturbed from whatever it was he’d been thinking about.

“Alec, I have news.” Robert told him, smiling with a gentleness that Alec found unsettling. There was something in his father’s eyes that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and it made him nervous. “We found a warlock medical professional, and she lives right here in New York. Now, she’s not a surgeon, but your Mom reached out to her, and she’s confident she can supervise a mundane doctor to make sure you get the care you need.” 

The breath had been squeezed out of Alec’s chest after Robert’s first sentence, and he forced himself to fill his lungs, looking down at the floor. He hadn’t thought in a million years that they’d find someone so soon; he’d counted on having more time. “Oh. I see.” 

“Yes, her name is Catarina Loss, and she works at Ambrose hospital as a nurse.”

“Wait… Catarina Loss is a warlock?!” Alec couldn’t believe it. He’d known Catarina for ten years; he’d never suspected for a second that she was anything more than mundane. “She’s been giving me my shots forever.” 

Robert made an impressed face. “So you already trust her. Excellent. We can schedule the mastectomy for next week. We booked you a consultation for tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow?!” Alec gasped, eyes going wide.

“Well, the sooner, the better.”

Alec shook his head, clutching at the hem of his shirt. “That’s too fast, I can’t.” 

“Alec, you have nothing to be afraid of. Catarina know what she’s doing. You might be able to have keyhole, and then you’d be up on your feet almost instantly.” Robert assured him impatiently. “You always knew this was coming.” 

“I-”

“By the way, I heard that you proposed to Lydia Branwell.Thank you for asking your mother and I for our thoughts on the matter.” Robert gritted out, holding up a hand to wave away whatever Alec had been about to say. “We would have appreciated having some input in our family’s future. Miss Branwell isn’t exactly what we had in mind, considering she’s stolen our institute from us.” 

“The reason you and Mom aren’t running the institute is because you’re both traitors.” Alec blurted out, feeling cornered. “I know you were in the Circle.”

Robert had the grace to look surprised, at least. “Who told you?”

“Does it matter who told me? I should have heard it from you.” 

“We weren’t allowed to talk about our time in the Circle, that was part of the deal.” Robert insisted.

Alec snorted, running his hands through his hair as he wheeled away, putting some distance between him and his father. He could feel rage and fear rolling through him, choking him, and Alec couldn’t take it anymore. “You made me feel like nothing I ever did would be good enough to live up to you. You spent my entire childhood drilling into me that I had to continue the perfect family record. And it turns out, you were using me. You’ve been using me and Izzy all this time to try and erase your mistakes. You thought that if you made your kids into the perfect soldiers, everything you did would be forgotten. Only the angel fucked with you, didn’t he, Dad? He gave you a son with a vagina and a daughter who likes girls. It’s what you fucking deserved. You killed innocent downworlders and honestly, I’m glad that me and Izzy fucked up your little comeback plan. So I’m going to do this my way, and I’m going to do it without you. I don’t want you involved. I don’t want you near me. I want you out of this institute.”

Robert clenched his jaw, crossing the room and grabbing the scruff of Alec’s t-shirt, shoving him against the wall. As he glared into Alec’s eyes, Alec realised that the emotion from before, the one masked by gentleness, had been hatred. “You don’t get it, do you? You have no power in this situation. You have no right to kick me out of my home. Let me open your eyes for you, Alexander,” he spat, “you might think that you have control over what’s going to happen to you, but with a brief fire message to the Clave I could get you deruned and banished in a heartbeat. You will get this goddamn surgery and any other surgery I deem necessary, and you’ll marry whoever I tell you to. Because I have had it up to here with your entitled, spoiled, melodramatic, squeaky little voice ranting and raving from your high horse. Learn to keep your mouth shut, or I’ll make you disappear. I have another son. And that one isn’t defective.” He snarled, giving Alec one last push before backing off and storming out of the room.

All that registered in Alec’s mind was shock. His father had never, ever laid a hand on him before. They’d fought about things, they’d yelled at each other a few times, but Robert had never threatened him like that. Alec couldn’t move, he couldn’t think, he had no idea what to do. There was no way that he could worry Izzy with this; she was already stressed about Clary, and Lydia was suspicious of her. She had enough on her plate.

Alec took out his phone, and called the one person he knew would hear him out.

“Hello, this is Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn. How can I help?” His voice sounded bright and friendly, and Alec remembered that he had a new number, one that Magnus didn’t know.

“Magnus, it’s me. Alec.” 

“Oh…” Magnus hummed, “what can I do for you, Alexander?”

“I, uh…” Alec looked up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. “I know that… You don’t owe me anything, and I have no right to ask, but…”

Magnus inhaled sharply. “Are you alright?”

“No… No, I’m not.” Alec confessed. “Magnus, I don’t know what to do.” 

“Where are you, Alexander?”

“In my room, in the institute. Are you still here?” 

Magnus was quiet for a moment, and Alec jumped out of his skin as a portal appeared in front of him. Alec hung up the phone, and stepped through the portal into Magnus’ living room. He breathed out in relief the moment the portal closed behind him, and Magnus stepped closer to him, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“What happened?” He asked softly, gentle eyes flicking over Alec’s face. 

Alec swallowed hard. “They scheduled my top surgery for next week. They found a warlock faster than I thought.” 

“About that…” Magnus tilted his head to the side, “it just so happens that Cat is a friend of mine. She called a moment ago to ask if I knew of an Alexander Lightwood, and, well…” 

Alec snorted, wringing his hands together. “And here I was thinking New York was a big place.” 

“Why don’t you sit down, hmm?” Magnus coaxed, “you look like you’re about to vomit.” 

“Maybe I am,” Alec breathed, raking his hands through his hair as he sat on the couch. “Magnus, my father just threatened to have me banished if I don’t do what he says.” 

“He did what?!” Magnus demanded, sitting down next to him to check him over for injuries. “Did he hit you?” 

Alec shook his head quickly, “no! No, of course not. He just… Shook me a bit.” 

“I’m sorry, Alec, he has no right to do that.”

“Magnus…” Alec looked up into Magnus’ face. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. What am I supposed to do?” 

Magnus swallowed hard, and took Alec’s hands in his. “It’s going to be alright, Alexander. Catarina can always refuse to do the surgery; I’m sure she could find some medical reason why it’s a bad idea…”

“I don’t even know that I don’t want it, I… Fuck!” Alec hissed, pulling his hands out of Magnus’ grasp and clenching his fists in his lap. “I hate my chest, I hate wearing my binder, physically, it’s the worst thing about being trans. But… The thought of lying on a table, completely immobilised and helpless, while some stranger cuts me to pieces… I can’t. I hate it. I could just die. Just like that.” 

Magnus nodded, his face grim. “Look, I don’t know much about surgery. But I know a lot about Catarina. And she would never let you die on the table like that. She will do everything in her power to keep you safe.” 

“I know. She’s great. Weirdly, she’s…” Alec’s shoulders slumped. “She’s been the closest thing to a friend I’ve ever had, outside my family. I always felt like I didn’t have to pretend around her. I trusted her, instantly, from the moment we met. And knowing that she’d be there with me helps, it’s just…” He hesitated, opening and closing his mouth a few times. 

“I’m not going to judge you, Alexander. Ever. You can say it.” Magnus assured him, rubbing Alec’s shoulder. 

Alec looked down at his hands. “Part of me knows that I look good naked. Objectively. And that… Makes a difference. Right now, if I wanted to, I could put on make-up, go out to a nightclub and pick up any guy I wanted. I mean sure, I’d look butch, but… Once he saw me naked, we’d be good to go. I have…” He cringed, “I have nice boobs. And I feel like, I don’t know, it sounds so fucked up.” 

Magnus shook his head, encouraging Alec to go on. “It’s not fucked up. You feel what you feel.” 

“I feel like I’m obligated to keep them. Like I’m just wasting a perfectly good pair of boobs. And… I’m scared that if I take that step, if I actually… If I get rid of them, then I can never go back to being a straight cis girl. And I don’t want that, I don’t want to live as a girl, not ever again, but… I just can’t explain it. It feels dangerous. It feels like ripping a safety net out from under me. I just… No gay man is ever going to want me. You know? And… If I get rid of my boobs, no straight man’s ever going to want me either.”

“Alexander, you don’t know that.” Magnus said gently. “I know a lot of gay men, okay, trust me. And I promise you, more of them than you’d think are open to falling in love with trans men.”

Alec sighed, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter either way. I’m going to marry a woman. Probably never going to see another human being naked, let alone have sex with them. I’m just getting carried away, I should just be rational about this.” He rubbed his forehead. “Rationally, I need to continue my transition, because I want to live as a man. The Clave will only fully accept me as male if I get surgery. Ergo, I have to get surgery.” 

“I know better than most how cruel the Clave can be,” Magnus said quietly. “I… I don’t know what to say, Alexander. I know that your duty as a shadowhunter means everything to you, and I know that you feel like you have to marry, that you have to conform. But… I wish you didn’t have to.” 

“Me too, Magnus.” Alec admitted, patting Magnus’ knee. “But without my career, I don’t know who I am. I need to belong. Otherwise…” He glanced around the room, avoiding Magnus’ eyes. “What’s the point of me?”

Magnus opened his mouth, eyebrows furrowed, but he couldn’t find the words. For once in his long life, he was speechless. There was nothing he could do to fix this confused, lost young man. 

Alec had to find his own way, and Magnus had to let him. 

“I should go back to the institute,” Alec pointed out, “I need to change out of my binder.” 

Magnus nodded, waving his hand to summon a portal. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you any answers, Alexander.” 

“It’s alright,” Alec replied, getting to his feet, smiling a little. “I needed to say all that out loud. Hearing it… It helped me figure out that I’m being melodramatic. I mean, God, the world could end at any second; Valentine has risen. And I’m here worrying about boys finding my body attractive.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “I’m being selfish. My father was right.” 

“No, he wasn’t.” Magnus went to get up, but Alec was gone, stepped through the portal and disappeared. 

Magnus sunk back into the couch with a long sigh, putting his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate if you beautiful people could give me a little love after this chapter. I'm literally shaking having read it back, it's been the hardest thing to write so far. I hope it makes you feel a little less alone <3


	10. Episode 10: This World Inverted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late - I had to hang out with my Dad yesterday, and so I wasn't in the right frame of mind to edit and post this when I got home last night. I'm not overly pleased with how this chapter came out, but there's a lot of interesting stuff in here - Cat and Alec bonding, Clizzy, Alec and Lydia fighting - I think I mostly don't like this chapter much because there's no much Magnus, hahaha. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings!
> 
> Invasive behaviour/pushy behaviour?: Lydia tries to get Alec to take off his shirt and binder in front of her. He says no very firmly and shuts her down.
> 
> Internalised transphobia: There's a part where world inverted!Alec talks about loving dick and strap ons. (It makes sense in context OKAY) - in this world, Alec grew up as a mundane so was a lot more indoctrinated by the idea that trans people need to do this, this and this in order to be valid. In regular show world, Alec learned about transness on the internet, so doesn't have the same kinds of hang-ups. The point is, in this one little part, Alec infers that his attraction to men hinges on whether they have a dick or like to wear strap-ons (if they're trans men). He's not attracted to women who wear strap-ons, he's just trying not to erase trans men from his sexual orientation, but he is sort of erasing trans men who don't wear packers and strap ons. God dammit, Alec.
> 
> Top surgery discussions and results: So for reasons discussed above, Alec in the world inverted had top surgery when he was around 23/24. The normal show world Alec has his top surgery consultation in this chapter, and there's discussion about methods and surgery anxiety. Nothing too graphically gory, but Alec does find it distressing. This ties into:
> 
> Depictions of disassociation: Alec zooms the fuck out of his body during his surgery consultation. I don't know that it'll make sense to people who've never disassociated, but it's the best I can depict that feeling with words. It's brief but I don't want to induce it in anyone if they didn't know it was coming.
> 
> Miscommunication with sexy times: World inverted Izzy tries to initiate sex with our Clary and Clary spends a minute freaking out about the concept of having sex with world inverted Izzy before asking Izzy to stop. Izzy does so instantly and doesn't demand an explanation.

“When you get to the other dimension, you will inhabit the body of your counterpart from there. Do not allow yourself to get distracted by the people who care for you in that dimension; if you forget your mission, you’ll also forget your life here, and this dimension’s Clary will cease to exist. You must stay focussed. The only thing that will remind you of this dimension is that portal shard. Once you use it, you must use the portal immediately or risk forgetting everything.” Meliorn instructed, leading her through a forest in the Seelie realm.

Clary nodded, fingering the pendant around her neck as they stepped over loose roots. Meliorn offered her no words of assurance, only facts, and it made Clary uneasy. She couldn’t imagine what his relationship with Izzy must have been like, but then, perhaps he simply didn’t like her, and that was why he was being so unfriendly. Valentine was her father, after all, and she’d basically stolen his lover right out from under him. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a reason.

She almost walked into him as he stopped, suddenly, in the middle of a small clearing. Meliorn looked around slowly, putting his hands palm to palm before twisting them together and then out, magic bursting from his hands and swirling into a vortex to create a huge portal in the middle of the clearing. They stood there for a moment, both staring at the entrance to the portal.

“Well?” Meliorn prompted her, “what in Raziel’s name are you waiting for?” 

“Right, right…” Clary nodded, clenching her fists at her sides as she looked into the portal. “Thank you, Meliorn.”

“Your 24 hours have already begun, shadowhunter.” He replied, taking a seat on the grass next to the portal.

Clary nodded, checking her watch, and dashed through the portal. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Alec stepped out of Magnus’ portal and into his room, he let out a long sigh, unbuttoning his shirt slowly.

“Is that why you’re not interested in becoming friendly?” 

Alec spun around to see Lydia sitting on his bed, her stone cold gaze fixed on where the portal was shrinking away to nothing. “What are you doing in here?!” He demanded, hurriedly buttoning up his shirt. 

“I came to see if you were alright. You did say you were injured.” Lydia reminded him. “Now you have some explaining to do. Why are you… Socialising… With a warlock?” 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Alec replied stiffly, folding his arms.

“I am your fiancee!” 

Alec scoffed. “I’m not going to have an affair when we’re married, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“But you’re having an affair now?” Lydia demanded, leaping to her feet.

“Does it look like I just got back from a romantic romp with a lover?” Alec snapped. He was so tired, his ribs were screaming at him, Robert’s words playing over and over in his head. All he wanted was to curl up in bed. 

Lydia bristled at that, looking him up and down. “Then what were you doing with him?”

“Talking!” Alec answered, “that’s it! Okay? Now could you please leave so I can get some sleep? I’m exhausted.” 

There was silence in the room for a moment, Lydia staring right at him, but Alec kept his gaze fixed on the wall behind her. She looked at him for a long, long moment, her hands knotted together behind her back in the at-ease position that Alec found himself standing in all too often.

“You know, you could talk to me about whatever it is you’re going to Magnus with. I want to help you. I want to be here for you, Alec, I want a relationship. I don’t want to marry a stranger.” She said, her voice almost soft.

Alec tried to sigh, but a hiss came out instead. “I can’t do this right now, I need to change out of my binder.” 

“Let me help,” Lydia stepped forward, her hand curling around the hem of his shirt.

“What? No.”

“Alec…” Lydia stubbornly gripped the shirt tighter. “It’s okay.”

Alec raised his eyebrows. “No, it isn’t. I don’t want you to touch me.”

“Why not?” Lydia demanded, her cheeks flaming pink. 

“Because I’m gay!” Alec shouted.

Lydia pressed her lips together, and let go of Alec’s shirt. She took a step back, straightening her blouse. “I need you to be relaxed.”

“Well, good job making me more tense than I already was, fuck! Just go away!”

“Isabelle’s going to be arrested in a moment, Alec. I wanted you to hear it from me.” Lydia told him, lifting her chin. “Raj has a mark from her whip on his wrist. We know she was involved in Meliorn’s escape. Don’t-” Lydia held up her pointer finger as Alec opened his mouth to speak, “say anything. I’m trying to protect you from this investigation, because I want to believe that you wouldn’t betray the Clave.” 

Alec’s mouth opened and closed a few times, his ears buzzing. “What are the charges?” He asked, his own voice sounding far away.

“Treason.”

Alec made a choked noise of despair, and started running his hands through his hair. “That means a deruning.” 

“I’m sorry, Alec, but the charges are just.” Lydia replied.

“Are they?” Alec snarled, his blazing green eyes locking with hers. “Is it just that my sister is being punished for falling for a downworlder and trying to rescue him from a racist, unfair, ridiculous punishment that would have almost certainly resulted in his death? Tell me, Lydia, where is the fucking justice in that?” 

Lydia straightened her spine, meeting his eyes with equal ferocity. “The law is hard. But it’s the-”

“GET OUT!” Alec shouted, right in her face. “Get out of my room, get out of my fucking life, you racist, queerphobic, manipulative piece of shit. Get out! NOW!” 

Lydia looked shocked, standing there with Alec towering over her like he was. Her eyes flicked down to his panting mouth, and he clenched his teeth against the urge to punch her. “Alec…”

“Either walk out yourself,” Alec stepped back, flexing his fists as he took some deep, calming breaths, “or I will pick you up and toss you out.”

She opened her mouth like she was going to say more, but wisely thought better of it, and stalked past Alec and out the door. The moment the door clicked shut, Alec flew into action, snatching up anything he could get his hands on and hurling it against the wall or floor. When there was nothing left to throw, he stood in the middle of the room, sweating and heaving for breath, and started tearing at his shirt, ripping his binder over his head and hurling that at the floor at his feet. 

“FUCK!” 

After grabbing a sports bra and a shirt to put on, Alec scrubbed his hands down his face and legged it out the door, catching up to Lydia right outside Izzy’s room, where Raj and a shadowhunter that Alec didn’t recognise were already standing. Ignoring the three of them, Alec pushed past and knocked on Izzy’s door. 

“Come in!” She called, and Alec shoved through and shut the door behind him, pressing his back against it. “Alec, are you-?”

“They’re arresting you for treason. Climb out the window.” He told her, straining to keep the door shut against Lydia and the others. “Go!” 

Izzy’s eyes went wide, but she made no move to escape. Instead, she walked up to him, and gently tugged on his arm. “Let them come, Alec.”

“They’ll derune you!”

“I know I did the right thing. The just thing.” She said quietly. “Let them come, please.” 

Alec shook his head. “I won’t let them take you away. I won’t.” 

“Alec,” Izzy smiled, resting her hand on his shoulder. “You can’t protect me from everything, big brother.”

Lydia’s shadowhunter goon managed to dislodge Alec then, and he went stumbling across the room, allowing Lydia and the others to enter the room. Izzy stood up straight and defiant, her eyes fixed on Lydia. Alec recovered his balance and shoved Izzy behind his back, positioning himself between his sister and the people who’d take her away from him.

“It’s okay, big brother.” Izzy insisted, stepping out from behind him. She put her hands on her hips, and shrugged one shoulder. “Arrest me. I don’t care. I’m so beyond done with the Clave, at this point. Do what you like.” 

“Izzy,” Alec warned her, “you can’t come back from a deruning.” 

Isabelle lifted her chin. “I did what was right. I would die to do the right thing if necessary.” 

“Those are some very grandiose ideals you hold there, Miss Lightwood,” Lydia responded, “it’s a shame you’re on the wrong side. Blackthorn, take her.” 

“I wish you and the other Clave officials would admit you want Valentine to gain power.” Izzy spat, “all I’ve done, I’ve done to fight against him and his ideology. If the Clave has such an issue with my actions… Makes you think, doesn’t it?” 

Alec wrung his hands together behind them, wanting so badly to just throw Izzy over his shoulder and run. She had no idea what she was playing with; Alec had read enough reports of people suffering through the Clave’s punishments to know that Izzy was severely underestimating the consequences of her words.

“Take her away, Blackthorn.” Lydia ordered, not bothering to hide the disgust in her face as Izzy was dragged down towards the elevators. Alec grabbed her arm as she turned to leave, pure hatred blazing in his eyes. 

“Just so you know, offically, the engagement’s off.” He informed her coldly, before letting her go and stalking out the door. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Clary felt solid ground beneath her feet again, she realised she was standing in a sunny kitchen. With a quick glance around, she realised that she didn’t recognise it, and her hand flew to her sternum to check that the portal shard had made it through with her. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as her fingers came into contact with the cool stone. 

“Morning, sweet pea. Busy day ahead?” 

Clary swirled around at the sound of the man’s voice, and her eyes widened when she saw Valentine walking towards her, snatching up a kitchen knife and brandishing it at him. “Where’s my mother?!” She demanded, mind racing. 

For a moment, Valentine looked utterly confused, but then his face morphed into a warm smile. “Oh, are you practising for cosplay? That’s cute, sweetie. You’re gonna knock their socks off.” He started setting up the plates on the table, wiping his palms on his trousers. “You should show your mom.” 

“Mom?” Clary repeated, her breath catching in her throat as Jocelyn came through the door holding a basket of laundry. “Mom!” She ran towards her, the kitchen knife clattering to the table, and enveloped Jocelyn in a tight hug. 

“Whoa!” Jocelyn laughed, raising her eyebrows as she made eye contact with her husband. “You’ve only been gone a couple of days, honey, are you really that homesick? Are you sure the dorms are working out?” 

Dorms?

Clary squeezed her eyes shut, his mind racing. When she opened them again, she remembered Meliorn’s words. The shadowhunters no longer existed in this dimension, which meant that neither Valentine nor her mother had ever been shadowhunters. They were just happy, normal people. She smiled at her Mom, shrugging a little. 

“Right. Sorry. Just… I’m happy to see you.” 

Jocelyn squeezed her hand. “We’re always here if you need us, honey.” 

Clary swallowed hard, her eyes darting to Valentine every few moments. It was bizarre to see; this man that had the entire shadow world running scared, was in a kitchen in Brooklyn making french toast. She sat down at the table next to her Mom, and took a moment to centre herself back in her own dimension. Here, she didn’t have Luke as a father, and though this Valentine seemed nice enough, she wouldn’t trade Luke for anything. And in her dimension, she had Izzy waiting for her. She had to stay focussed. 

“Izzy called, by the way. She and Alec are going over some last minute details at Simon’s, if you wanna go and see your girlfriend.” Valentine wiggled his eyebrows cheekily at her.

“Val, come on, they’ve been dating for months, when are you going to get bored of teasing her?” Jocelyn groaned.

“I’m just happy for them! Izzy is so smart and so sweet, she’s the best assistant I’ve ever had! And I’m thrilled that Clary has such a lovely partner. Gives me the warm and fuzzies.” Valentine beamed, squeezing Clary’s hand. “You know, if you guys ever broke up, I don’t know which one of you I’d side with.” 

Jocelyn playfully smacked him in the arm. 

“What? I love Izzy!” 

Clary had spent this entire exchange reeling. She not only knew Izzy in this dimension, she was dating her? It forced her to wonder if fate was real, after all. “Thanks, I’ll go and meet up with them after breakfast.” She wondered if Alec and Magnus were together in this dimension, too.

“Oh my God, Clary, you have to check out this commercial, it’s so cheesy, you’ll love it.” Valentine turned the volume up on the TV, and pointed to it. 

On the screen was Hodge, the weapons master from the institute, and Clary’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do until Magnus Bane helped me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.” 

Magnus was a… life coach?

“Hi, I’m Magnus Bane, and-” Clary choked on her orange juice.

Magnus looked like a banker. He wore square glasses and a well-cut, plain suit. He didn’t have a hint of make-up on, and his hair was limp against his forehead. Clary couldn’t believe her eyes. In this dimension, Magnus was a psychic?

Clary pushed away from the table, and shook her head. “Actually, you know, I’m not really hungry. I’m gonna go find Izzy.”

Ignoring the way Jocelyn and Valentine were calling after her, Clary rushed out of the house, pulling the phone in her pocket out to check Google maps. She already had a message from Izzy, and she took a deep breath before opening it.

-We moved to the vegan pizza van in the park. It’s at Cherry Hill, come find us xx

That vegan pizza van also existed in her dimensional, so Clary made her way there with little trouble, keeping her mind focussed on Luke and Simon, the werewolf and the vampire who were waiting for her back home. As she neared the van, she noticed Alec first; he was dressed in a salmon pink polo shirt and he was sitting with his arm slung around Simon’s shoulder, talking to him with a fond expression on his face. Izzy was sitting opposite them, with her back to Clary. She had her hair done up in a ponytail, and she was wearing a red t-shirt. Clary tapped her on the back as she approached, since Simon and Alec were caught up in their conversation about suggestive emojis and hadn’t noticed her. 

“You made i! You have to try this pizza, babe, it’s amazing.” Izzy beamed, pulling Clary down onto the bench next to her. 

“I’m just saying that personally I’m more aroused by the peach emoji,” Simon insisted, giving Clary a nod in greeting as she took a bite of the pizza Izzy had shoved under her nose.

“That’s because you don’t like dicks or strap ons. If you were more phallically inclined, I swear to you that you’d literally salivate at the sight of the eggplant emoji. I would know.” Alec argued.

“Alec, please, stop talking about how much you love phalluses over lunch. We’re supposed to be talking about the party.” Izzy whined, putting her head in her hands.

“This is a scientific conversation!” Alec smirked, giving Clary a wink. “How’s your Dad? Stressed? Chilled? We’ve got everything sorted for tonight. It’s all gonna go off without a hitch, I guarantee it.” 

“Uhhhh yeah, he seems fine.” Clary shrugged. “He actually seems really excited.”

“As he should be. Parties thrown by yours truly are infamous for a reason.” Alec pointed out, picking up his iced coffee to take a sip. “Oh shit, I almost forgot! I haven’t shown you my nipple piercings, have I?” 

Simon snorted. “He’s been flashing people all day.” 

“I paid a lot of money for this chest, excuse me for being proud of it,” Alec sniffed, lifting up his shirt to reveal his flat chest. He had twin pink scars where Clary assumed his breasts had once sat, though they looked like they’d been there for a few years, at least. His nipples were slightly oval shaped, and they both had glinting silver bars through them. “Aren’t they cute?!”

“I still think it’s a bad idea to get scar tissue pierced.” Izzy pursed her lips, “what if you get an infection?” 

“I’m like, obsessively cleaning them, Iz, it’ll be fine. You remember how good I was at looking after my scars.” 

Izzy hummed, shrugging a little as she nodded. “You’re right.” 

“So you decided to get top surgery, huh?” Clary mused without thinking, and all three of them gave her a strange look. 

“Uh… Yeah, like… Two and a half years ago?” Simon answered, “remember, we all went with him down to Florida to look after him. He was a total diva.” 

Alec grunted, and kicked Simon playfully. “Yeah, Clary, are you feeling alright? You look freaked.” 

Clary waved their concern off, biting off a huge chunk of the vegan pizza so she wouldn’t have to answer them verbally. Alec and Simon shrugged and went right back to discussing the fact that Simon would probably sleep with a dude if said dude was very hot, but Izzy’s attention remained on Clary, her dark gaze assessing.

“Help me carry the coffees?” Izzy asked, though she didn’t give her girlfriend a chance to respond, tugging her towards the catering van. “Seriously, are you alright? Are you freaking out because of… You know… The thing?” 

“Yes?” Clary answered hesitantly, her breath catching in her throat as Izzy’s face fell. “No, I mean no!”

Izzy squinted at her. “Well, which is it?” 

“That… Depends. Are you freaked out about it?” 

“Uh, no… I’m the one who said it.” 

“Right,” Clary nodded, putting her hands on Izzy’s hips. “Remind me how it went again…”

Izzy’s expression softened, and she put her arms around Clary’s neck. “I love you, Clary Fray.” 

Part of Clary was a little unsettled, mostly because she and Izzy had shared precisely two kisses and she’d never been in love before. How was she supposed to know if it was real? The bigger part, however, the artistic soul that had grown up on imagination inhabited with fairytales and happy endings, was breathless with joy, and she pressed her forehead into Izzy’s. 

“I love you too, Iz.” 

“Really?” Izzy grinned, an endearing little squeak in her voice. 

Clary laughed, and hugged her tightly. “Yes. Really.” 

“Say it again,” Izzy demanded into her hair. 

“I love you.” 

Izzy hummed, pulling back just enough to kiss her, cupping her face like it was made of porcelain. Clary sighed and clutched at Izzy’s elbows, her mind drifting away. She thought of nothing but the party that night, the assignment she had to write in the next few days, whether Simon was ever going to just come out as pansexual already. When she and Izzy’s mouths parted, she let out a happy sigh, their cheeks resting together. 

The loud ringing of a bike bell from a passing cyclist snapped Clary out of her momentary lapse, and she pulled away from Izzy quickly. “I have to go,” she said quickly, not waiting for Izzy to respond before hurrying away. 

Izzy must have been shocked, because she didn’t call after her, and Alec and Simon must have been too involved in their conversation to notice she’d gone. Pulling out her phone, Clary googled Magnus Bane’s office location and started jogging towards the subway before she could get distracted again. Luckily, Magnus lived in the same place in this dimension as he did in hers, so it didn’t take her long to find her way to the loft apartment in Brooklyn. 

When Magnus opened the door to her, Clary was once again struck by how different this Magnus was to the one she’d gotten to know in the last couple of weeks. He still had the same quick wit and sass, as shown by the unamused little eyebrow quirk he gave her as she explained that she didn’t have an appointment, but he was dressed like an accountant, and carried himself without any of his usual flair. By some miracle, Magnus had an open slot for a tarot card reading, and he showed her inside. The loft was practically unrecognisable; instead of sleek dark furniture, everything looked vaguely moth-eaten and… Beige. 

“Let me tell you the mysteries of the future, Miss Fray,” Magnus said, his eyes wide with intrigue.

“Actually, Magnus, I’m here because I know you’re a warlock. I’m…” Clary pressed her lips together for a moment, before deciding to just come out with it. “I’m from another dimension and I need your help to find an interdimensional portal to get back to my world.” 

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s not April Fools’ Day. Did Ragnor put you up to this?” 

“No, Magnus, look…” Clary grabbed a journal and pen from next to him and scribbled a few runes. “Look, I’m a shadowhunter. No-one would know these runes except a shadowhunter, and they haven’t been around for decades.” 

“Centuries, actually.” Magnus corrected her, steepling his fingers. “Even if I did believe you, there’s nothing I can do, I’m afraid. My magic has been dormant for years.” 

Clary frowned. “You don’t use magic anymore?” 

“Well, what use do I have for it?” Magnus snorted, getting up from the table. “Mundane technology makes it basically moot.” 

“Magnus, if I don’t get back to my dimension, millions of people are going to die. There’s an evil man, he wants to wipe out the downworlders. I need to use that portal to stop him.” Clary explained, following Magnus as he walked around the room picking up after himself. 

“As I said, my magic isn’t working. I’d love to help you, my dear, but I’m afraid I’m useless to you.” 

Clary huffed. “Come on, Magnus, you’re the most powerful warlock I know. It’s all in there somewhere. Just give it a shot, try and… Try and move that teacup.” She encouraged, pointing at a half-empty teacup.

Magnus sighed, and held out his hand. The effort he was putting in was obvious; his eye was twitching a little and his fingers trembled. A couple of blue flashes sparked at his fingertips, but the cup didn’t move. After a couple of seconds of strain, he stopped, dropping his hand back to his side. “See?” 

“Well, usually… Usually, you do more of a…” Clary waved her hands, wiggling her fingers like she’d seen Magnus do before. “More of a flourish, you know.”

“I do not look like that,” Magnus sniffed, “not in any universe.” 

Clary put her hands on her hips. “Just try.” 

After a long-suffering look, Magnus waved his arms around a little more, but the teacup stayed stubbornly still. The two of them groaned, and Magnus pushed his hair back from his eyes. 

“What I need is a spark, a burst of energy, to get my magic pumping again. I need to touch some kind of magical artefact.” 

“Like a portal shard?” Clary asked.

Magnus nodded, pointing at her thoughtfully. “Yes, exactly like that. Is…?” He tilted his head to the side as Clary tugged the necklace from her clavicle and held it up to him. “Is that a portal shard?”

“An interdimensional portal shard,” Clary told him, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Excellent. May I?” He checked, reached forward once Clary had nodded. The moment his fingers brushed the surface of the portal shard, Magnus jolted, brief glimpses of magic sparking across his skin. “That’ll do it!”

Clary grinned. “So where’s the portal?” 

Holding up a hand for her to wait, Magnus closed his eyes for a moment, his fingers still touching the shard. “Hmmm… That’s not going to be easy.”

“Why?” Clary demanded, “where is it?” 

Magnus let the portal shard drop back to Clary’s chest. “The basement of the New York institute.”

“Oh, piece of cake,” Clary snorted, waving away his concern. “There’s a party there tonight. I’ll get you on the guest list, and you can reopen the portal and send me home.” 

“Just like that?” 

“Just like that.” Clary promised. “Oh, also… Are you seeing anyone?” 

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her. “I have six cats and I’m a 400 year old psychic. What do you think?” 

Clary smiled, folding her arms. “Then dress nice, because I have someone I’d like to introduce you to tonight.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I figured out what you’re doing, Lydia.” Alec insisted, storming into the ops centre. “You’re holding Izzy hostage because you think Clary Fray has the cup.” 

Lydia didn’t look at him, her eyes trained sternly on the screen in front of her. The shadowhunters working near where they were standing scattered; they’d been here longer than Lydia, and knew better than to come between the Lightwood siblings. For a moment, Alec just stared at the side of Lydia’s face, shoulders heaving, ready for a fight. Lydia realised that he wasn’t going away until she responded, so she sighed and turned to face him.

“The Clave wants the cup above all else. If Isabelle has a hand in returning the cup to the Clave, then her crimes will be forgiven.” She answered, “I was going to put this to her in the morning once she’d had the chance to calm down.” 

Alec put his hands on his hips. “You want the cup? Fine. I know where it is.” He told her, a wave of satisfaction passing down his spine at the way Lydia’s mouth popped open, shock in the wideness of her eyes.

“You have been hiding the cup this whole time?! I should have you arrested.” 

“Do you want the cup or not, Lydia?” Alec asked coolly, lifting his chin.

Lydia’s eyes narrowed. “Hand it over, Mr Lightwood.” 

“Not until you guarantee the safety of me, Izzy and Clary.” 

“I guarantee the safety of you and your little band of traitors,” Lydia snarled, without a moment of hesitation. “Now give me the cup!”

Alec turned on his heel, fishing his stele out of his pocket as he walked over to the cabinet hidden in the floor. With a flick of his stele, he opened it, standing to cross his arms as it lifted out of the ground. The smugness he felt was almost overwhelming as he watched Lydia’s face bloom into… Confusion? He glanced down into the cabinet, his breath dying in his throat as he realised that the tarot card hiding the cup was gone, along with Clary’s portal shard necklace. 

She’d taken it with her to the other dimension. 

“Well?” Lydia pressed, “where is it?!” 

Alec’s mouth opened and shut a few times, his brain struggling to reconcile the fact that Izzy and Clary had lied to him about this, or at least concealed the truth. “I-I… I think Clary took it.” 

“And where is she?” Lydia gritted out.

Alec didn’t answer her, making a beeline for Izzy’s room. His little sister had some explaining to do. Lydia watched him go for a moment, irritable at the sight of him, before turning to a shadowhunter who was there to hand her a report.

Upon seeing Izzy sitting alone in her glass cell, Alec paused. The last thing she needed right now was for Alec to go off ranting and raving at her, but… She lifted her head to flick her hair out of her face and spotted him hovering across the room, standing up. The hope in her face made guilt twist hotly in Alec’s stomach, and he walked quickly to the door. Redglass was on guard duty, and Alec didn’t have to argue why he should be let in, the young recruit just unlocked the door and allowed him entry.

Izzy hugged him the moment the door swung shut behind Alec, burying her face in his shoulder. “Any news?” 

“Yeah, Iz. Lydia was going to offer you a plea bargain; your freedom for the cup. So imagine my surprise when I figured out it was gone.” Alec pulled back to look her in the eye. “Please tell me you gave it to Magnus to hide. Please.” 

“Clary needs it, Alec. She has a plan, you know it’ll work. She’ll stop Valentine and when she does, the Clave will fall over themselves to drop the charges. We’ll be fine.” Izzy soothed, rubbing his arm.

“How could you make that call without asking me?!” Alec hissed, stepping out of her reach. “I thought the three of us were in this together, why would you shut me out?” 

Izzy gestured at the walls around them. “Hello? I wanted to protect you from ending up like this?” 

“That wasn’t your decision to make.” 

“Says you, Mr ‘I’m going to throw my life away for my sister’s sake without bothering to ask’. Where was your team spirit when you decided to sacrifice yourself for me? Maybe I just wanted to repay you, did you think of that?!” Izzy asked.

Alec swallowed hard. “This is different. My decision to get surgery and marry a woman only affects me. The mortal cup could be lost forever in another goddamn dimension, Izzy. This affects everybody.” 

“I have faith in Clary.”

Alec ran his hands through his hair. “I want to have faith in her, Iz, I do, but we’re talking about her going up against Valentine by herself. That is a huge risk. If he gets a hold of that tarot card, we’re done for.”

Izzy nodded, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s all or nothing, Alec, I know. But you know as well as I do that Lydia and the Clave have no intention of stopping Valentine until he starts killing high ranking shadowhunters.” 

“You’re right. The Clave don’t give a shit, but the mortal cup…”

“Alec, whatever either of us did in the past can’t be changed. There’s no point standing here going back and forth. Clary has the cup and neither of us can reach her. I’m going to go on trial and hopefully, if I have a good advocate, it’ll be drawn out long enough for Clary to get back with Valentine and the cup. If not…”

“You’ll be deruned,” Alec reminded her. 

Izzy nodded, sighing. “I’m willing to risk that.” 

Alec looked at the blank white wall behind Izzy, his lips pursed. “Alright,” he relented, scratching his forehead. “Alright. Who’s going to be your advocate?” 

“I want Magnus to do it.” Izzy insisted.

“But downworlders can’t get involved in Clave business…” 

Izzy shrugged. “There’s no harm in asking, is there?” 

Alec narrowed his eyes at her. “You just want me to go and see him so I’ll change my mind about Lydia. Who, by the way, I dumped.” 

“You dumped her?!” Izzy looked happier than she had in a week, and she clutched at Alec’s arms, staring up at him with pride. “Really?”

“Uh, of course I did, are you kidding me? She’s trying to have you deruned. I’m not about to marry anyone who messes with my dumbass kid sister.” 

Izzy hugged him again, squeezing him so tightly he thought his eyes might pop out of his head. “So you cancelled the surgery too, right?” 

“No…” Alec admitted, pressing his face into her hair. “I’ve got the consultation in about an hour. I managed to convince Mom and Dad to let me go alone, thank God. The last thing I need is their over enthusiasm. It’ll just be me and Cat and the surgeon, talking about my options.”

“Are you sure that this is what you want? 100%?” Izzy asked, pushing him back half a step to meet his eyes. 

Alec swallowed hard, running his hand through his hair. “I’m not sure what my feelings are about it. I hope this appointment is going to make me feel a little less… Terrified.” 

Izzy frowned sympathetically at him. “I’d give anything to be coming with you for support.”

“Anything except the mortal cup, apparently,” Alec grumbled, smirking as Izzy shoved him.

As Alec made his way to the hospital, he tried to think about absolutely anything except the conversation he was about to have. Cat had gotten his number from Magnus, and the two of them had texted a little that morning, but her insistences that everything was going to be his decision didn’t make him feel any better. He had an overwhelming fear that he had no idea what the fuck he was doing in any part of his life. And for something like this? Major surgery? Alec felt like he should be sure, and he just…

Wasn’t. 

Cat said it was normal to feel nervous, and that he shouldn’t pay attention to people who insisted that they were always 100% sure about surgery, because everyone experienced at least a little anxiety about it. Alec thought she was probably right, but he was also skeptical that any of those people felt the overwhelming terror of being put under anaesthetic that he did. Luckily, Cat was waiting for him near the doors, looking uncharacteristically perturbed.

“Hey, Alec. How are you feeling?” She asked, squeezing his shoulder.

“Uhhh…”

Cat smiled reassuringly. “Overwhelmed?”

“As overwhelmed as anyone’s ever been, yeah.” Alec agreed, shoving his hands in his pockets as they started walking through the hospital. “I didn’t expect any of this to happen so quickly.”

“That’s understandable.” Cat nodded. “I just want to apologise for being so… I really had no idea you were a shadowhunter. If I did I wouldn’t have made you feel so pressured to strike out on your own, I know how hard that is for your kind.” 

Alec waved it away, shrugging. “Not your fault, Cat. I didn’t think for a second that you were a warlock, it never occured to me. Honestly I didn’t think downworlders had mundane jobs.” 

“Most don’t,” Cat snorted, her eyes on the patients passing them, nodding and smiling at the ones she knew. “I guess I’m just a masochist, huh?” 

“Must be,” Alec hummed, “though I’m guessing it must be nice to spend time with people who aren’t constantly on alert that the world is going to end.” 

Cat chuckled. “Actually a surprising number of mundanes convince themselves the world is going to end every other week.” 

“Oh yeah, that gross guy’s President now, right?”

“Alec, do you even know his name?” Cat teased, glancing over at him.

Alec shrugged, smirking a bit. “All I know is he looks like an angry cheeto.” 

“How on Earth did I ever think you were a mundane?” Cat laughed, elbowing Alec in the ribs. “Alright, kid, here we are. So before we go in, I’m just going to let you know what’s about to happen, since I have a feeling you’ve done basically no prep for this, right?” 

“I’ve only known about it for 16 hours… And it’s been a busy 16 hours…” Alec admitted.

“No problem. So when we go in, the surgeon will introduce himself. His sister was turned into a werewolf so he knows that the supernatural exists, but he doesn’t know specifics. I just told him that you had non-human blood, so he’s leaving the transfusions to me. Everything else is going to be basically the same. So he’ll ask you to take off your shirt and binder and he’ll take a look at your chest, take a couple of pictures for reference, and then he’ll be able to tell you which method is best. Then he’ll ask if you have any questions.” 

“What if I don’t know what questions I should ask?” Alec asked, adjusting his shirt.

Cat patted his shoulder. “I’ve got you covered. I watched a couple of videos of these consultations last night so I’ll just ask him the things that they asked in the videos, okay?” 

Alec melted a little, looking at her with pure gratitude. “I don’t deserve you.” 

“Hey,” Cat said, pointing in his face, “your very existence fucks the Clave’s mind so much, kid, I love you for it. You’re a good boy, and I’m gonna do everything I can for you, alright?” 

“Alright,” Alec smiled, wringing his hands together. “Alright, let’s do it.” 

In the consultation room, the man who Alec assumed was the surgeon was already sat down at the desk, looking at the computer screen in front of him. At the sound of them entering the room, he turned, and Alec almost blushed. He wasn’t a doddery old man with thinning hair, like Alec had expected, but a fit Latino with kind eyes in his mid thirties. He rose and held out his hand to Alec, a friendly smile on his face. 

“Hi, you must be Alec. I’m Doctor Camarena, it’s nice to meet you.” He said, and God, his voice was dreamy, too. 

Alec swallowed hard, and nodded. “Hi.” 

Cat patted him on the back, realising she probably should have warned Alec in advance that his surgeon was rather nice to look at. “Do you want me to leave the room while you show the doctor what he’s working with?” 

“No!” Alec blurted out grabbing her arm. “No, no… You’re good.” 

Doctor Camarena chuckled, turning to pick up a camera from the desk. “Alright, Alec, I’m guessing that Catarina’s already told you that I need to take a look at your chest?” 

Alec nodded, and started unbuttoning his shirt with shaking fingers. God, why didn’t he ask for a female surgeon? He hoped that his face didn’t look as hot as it felt as he put his shirt down on the sofa behind him, swallowing hard as he started to peel his binder up and over his head. He kept his eyes down, tangling his hands together behind his back as Doctor Camarena clicked the digital camera on, the whirring sound of it powering up making Alec suck his lower lip into his mouth. This was not how he figured his first nude pictures would go. 

“Great. Am I alright to take some pictures for reference?” He checked.

“Yes, do what you need to.” Alec replied, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Doctor Camarena hummed thoughtfully as he snapped the pictures. “Alec, you’re going to have really good results. You have excellent muscle structure underneath the breast tissue, so healing will be a piece of cake for you. You work out a lot?” 

“Uhhhh, yeah, kinda. I keep active.” Alec explained, glancing over his shoulder at Cat, who gave him a thumbs up. 

“That’s excellent news.” Camarena smiled, picking up Alec’s binder to give it back to him. “Right, all done. Now I just need to ask you some questions. Take a seat.” 

Alec was wriggling into his binder, wheezing a little as his chest was crushed. He turned away from the doctor and Cat to rearrange his breasts, making sure they were placed properly before grabbing his shirt to put it back on. “Right, cool… Shoot.” 

“So first of all, I am going to have to do the double incision method. Your Mom mentioned that keyhole would be preferable, but there’s just too much breast tissue for that.” Doctor Camarena explained, picking up a pen to twirl between his fingers. 

“Fair enough,” Alec shrugged. He’d assumed that was going to be the case. “I’m just… The thought of having two big cuts…”

“I understand that it’s not a pleasant thought, but I do literally five hundred of these procedures a year, so the odds of complications are very slim. I have a less than 1% revision rate. And with muscles like yours? I can promise that you’re going to have a very uniform flat contour of the chest, well placed nipples. It’ll look a million times better than any other chest procedure someone could do.” He insisted, “and that’s not just me tooting my own horn. I would heavily recommend double incision. Of course, you’re free to go to somewhere like Mexico, where they’ll do keyhole, but they won’t be able to guarantee the same results.” 

Alec nodded, wringing his hands together. “I get it. I know that the results will be good, but I’m… I’m feeling anxious about the surgery itself. The thought of being put under and cut up is, uh… As you said, unpleasant. Is there anything I can do to stop feeling like this?” 

“I wish there was some kind of magic wand I could wave to keep you from feeling anxious, Alec, but unfortunately, I am a mere mortal.” Doctor Camarena chuckled, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees. “But I can’t stress enough. You’re young, fit, and from what your file says, pretty damn healthy. You’re going to be fine.”

“Right, right.” Alec sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Right.” 

“I would recommend watching some vlogs on YouTube of some of the guys I’ve worked on in the past, let me write you a list.” He held up a finger for a moment, turning to grab his notebook. “These men and enbies all had the same procedure as you, and they documented their recovery. Maybe it’ll help to see what you’ll be going through in the weeks after surgery?” 

Alec looked at Cat out of the corner of his eye and mouthed ‘youtube?’, and she pressed her hand to her mouth to hide her smile. “Yeah, thanks, Doctor Camarena. I’ll check them out.”

“I hope that eases your nerves a little. Remember, you can call all of this off at any time; you’re paying afterwards anyway.” Camarena assured him. “So, let’s get through these questions. Some of them are silly, but I have to ask them, alright? Alright. So first, have you been seeing a therapist or medical professional who recommends you get chest surgery?”

“Uh, yeah… Cat’s my nurse but my family doctor also recommended it in my treatment plan a few years ago…” Alec answered.

Camarena nodded, jotting it down. “Do you identify as male?”

“Yeah, uh… Obviously.” Alec shrugged, the question making him a little insecure.

“Sometimes I get non binary people coming for surgery too,” he reminded Alec, not looking up from his notes, “so I have to ask.”

Alec made a little ‘ah’ sound, jamming his hands between his knees. “Right, right.”

“Who’s going to be looking after you after your surgery?”

“Oh, um…” He’d counted on Izzy being there, but now that she was on trial… “Uhh… My Mom, I guess?”

Cat cut in. “Alec’s seeing one of my friends, who’ll be happy to help out if Alec’s Mom needs to go to work or whatever.”

“I am?! He will?!” Alec asked, a little alarmed. Cat just snorted at him. “He will,” he nodded, looking back at the doctor.

“That’s great news; the support of family and friends is absolutely integral to your recovery,” Camarena smiled, “and I’m glad to hear you have a supportive boyfriend, as well.”

Alec’s face was definitely red, now. “I wouldn’t call him that…”

“It’s all very new,” Cat agreed, patting Alec’s knee. “But he’ll have all the support he needs, I know that much.” 

Camarena pursed his lips as he checked the computer screen for details about Alec’s medical history, the scratch of his pen on the paper the only sound in the room. Alec squirmed, tamping down on the panic building in his stomach. He hadn’t thought about who was going to be there after the surgery. His parents had been sent back to Idris, and Izzy was either going to be locked up or deruned by then, unless Clary made it back with the cup, by some miracle. 

“Alright, so do you have any questions, Alec?” The doctor asked, turning in his chair to face him again, and Alec swallowed hard, feeling clammy. 

“I have a list passed on from his parents, if I could just take some notes about your answers…” Cat volunteered, tugging a small flip-pad out of her top pocket. 

It felt like Alec’s soul had left his body as Cat and Doctor Camarena talked about scars and revisions and costs; he could have sworn he was floating in the air above the hospital, his eyes staring unseeingly into space. He could barely hear anything, just the rumble of voices, and his body tingled all over. 

It felt like he’d only blinked twice when Cat gently touched his hand, and he jumped out of his skin, snapping back to the room. “Alec, we’re done.” She told him, and he coughed, nodding.

“Alright then, Alec, your surgery is scheduled a week from today. Any problems or worries, call my secretary and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible, alright?” Doctor Camarena held out his hand, and Alec shook it vigorously, making eye contact for a moment before looking away again. 

“Yeah, got it. Thanks.” He mumbled, blinking a few times to try and centre himself back in his body. 

“See you, Doc,” Cat waved as she led Alec from the room, putting her arm around his shoulders the moment they got back out into the corridor. “Alec, are you alright? Do you need a moment?” 

Alec let out a long breath, scratching his forehead. “Izzy’s in trouble and it just sort of hit me that I’m going to lose her,” he admitted, letting Cat pull him along. “I don’t know what to do. All this is happening at the same time, I-”

“It’s going to be alright, sweetie, just breathe.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Clary got back to her Mom and Dad’s house, Izzy was already there, having a cup of tea with Valentine in the kitchen. “Hey! You ran off earlier!” 

“Oh, uh… Yeah, sorry, had some inspiration, had to draw.” Clary smiled apologetically, rubbing Izzy’s back as she hugged her. 

“Izzy was just telling me that Alec’s got everything absolutely perfect. I’m excited to see everyone’s hard work pay off.” Valentine clapped his hands, and stood from the table. “Right, I have to go and start getting ready. I’ll see you both at the Institute.” 

“See you later, Mr Morgenstern!” Izzy shot back over her shoulder, her eyes still on Clary. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Clary smiled, nodding. “Of course. Just a little nervous for the party. Did you bring your clothes?”

“Yeah, they’re already hanging up in your room. But um…” Izzy glanced meaningfully at Valentine’s closed bedroom door. “We have some time before we have to get ready.” 

“Uhhh… Yeah, probably, I don’t know what time it is,” Clary admitted, though she made no move to stop Izzy from pulling her towards her own bedroom. 

Izzy giggled, wrapping her arms around Clary’s neck and kissing her soundly. “Who cares? We haven’t been alone in days.” 

Clary hummed, her mind racing. How was she going to explain to Izzy that she didn’t want to have sex with her because they’d barely touched in her dimension and she didn’t want to have sex for the first time with a girl who technically was her girlfriend but who didn’t really feel like her? Izzy turned to close the bedroom door, before peeling her shirt up over her head.

“Alec will kill us if we’re late,” Clary pointed out weakly, her eyes drawn to Izzy’s black lacy bra. Oh God, Clary realised, nerdy Izzy had planned all of this out. 

“I’m a little offended that you’re thinking of my brother at a time like this, Clary Fray,” Izzy purred, pushing Clary back towards the bed. 

Clary gulped. “Actually, um… I don’t really feel like it right now, Iz.” 

“Oh.” Izzy let go of her waist, putting her hands behind her back sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“No, no, it’s me. I just feel a little stressed, it’s… You know.” Clary explained, waving her hands around like that could explain her nonsense.

Izzy smiled, and leaned in to kiss Clary on the nose. “You don’t have to explain.”

Clary sighed in relief. “Thanks. Let’s get ready, hmm?” 

“Yeah, I was going to ask actually, could I borrow your nude stilettos?” Izzy asked, turning to pick up her dress. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Clary and Izzy got to the party, there were already quite a few people milling around, and Alec was barking orders, holding a teacup between his ringed fingers. He smiled at the sight of them, and downed whatever was in the cup before handing it off to a waiter and hurrying over to them. “What do you think?”

The decor made the halls of the institute unrecognisable, and Clary struggled to remember where exactly the elevators were. The walls and ceilings were draped with pink and yellow gossamer, and there were dozens of oval looking glasses set up, all with different distorting effects to make the people who looked into them perceive themselves as all kinds of weird and wonderful shapes. Valentine himself was in the middle of the party with his arm around Jocelyn’s waist, wearing a huge blue top hat. 

“Your Dad’s Mad Hatter costume came out great!” Izzy enthused, and Alec tutted, muttering under his breath about his genius going unrecognised yet again. Clary laughed, watching as Alec stalked away to check on something or other. “Hey, come and dance with me.” 

Maybe it was the way Izzy was looking at her, without a care in the world, or maybe it was the warm, innocent, supportive atmosphere of the party, but Clary drifted again, her mind clearing of anxieties about the realm she was from. Her focus zeroed into Izzy’s body close to hers, their foreheads touching, their hands twined together at their sides. 

Magnus Bane adjusted his bowtie nervously as he walked up to the bouncer at the door to the party, feeling a little twitchy with the feeling of his magic rushing through his veins once more. It had been decades since he’d felt it, and he’d forgotten how invigorating it was. “Uhh, my name should be on the guest list. Magnus Bane.”

With a click of his tongue, the bouncer slipped his finger down the list, looking for his name. “Sorry, buddy, no Magnus Bane here.” 

“Maybe I’m just Clary Fray’s plus one?” Magnus tried, and again the bouncer’s finger slid down the page. 

“Nope, she doesn’t have one.” 

Magnus bit his lower lip. “Listen, she promised that she’d get me in, she’s right there, you can ask her-”

“I’ll vouch for this one,” insisted a man that Magnus had never seen before. He was a couple of inches taller than Magnus, with a slight wave to his slicked back dark hair and the pinkest lips Magnus had ever seen on a man. 

“Uhhh… Thanks,” Magnus smiled, stepping around the bouncer. 

“I’m sure that I’d remember you if we’d met before. Alec Lightwood.” He smiled, handing Magnus a teacup with pink liquid inside it. 

“Magnus Bane,” he replied, sipping the sickly sweet cocktail Alec handed him.

Alec tilted his head to the side coyly. “So how do you know the happy couple?” 

“Oh, I don’t. I’m a friend of Clary’s.” 

“Is that so? I’m Izzy’s brother. I’m surprised she’s never tried to set us up, she introduces me to all her friends from art school.” Alec shrugged, looking Magnus up and down as he drank from his own teacup.

Magnus laughed nervously, glancing over at Clary and realising that she’d forgotten that she didn’t belong in this dimension. “Well, yes, anyway, better be going. See you around, Alec.” He hurried over to where Clary was dancing with a cute brunette. As he went, he vaguely caught Alec muttered something about a challenge, but that could be dealt with later.

“Clary,” Magnus hissed, taking her by the elbow as he reached the dancefloor, “we don’t have much time.”

“Let go of me!” Clary snapped, eyes going wide as a stranger grabbed her out of nowhere. He just held onto her tighter, looking directly into her eyes. She vaguely recognised him, and her eyes narrowed as she tried to place him.

“Hey, get off her!” Izzy demanded, shoving weakly at the stranger’s shoulder.

“Clary, it’s me, Magnus. Remember your mission. Remember this?” He pressed, lifting the portal shard necklace up into her line of sight.

All of a sudden it came rushing back, and rather than pushing Magnus away, she gripped him securely. “We have to do this now, I don’t know how much longer I can keep a hold of myself.” 

“What are you talking about?” Izzy asked, looking between the two of them with confusion.

“Sorry, Iz, I just didn’t recognise him in the suit. This is my psychic, Magnus. We have to go and do an emergency palm reading, be right back!” Clary explained hurriedly, already pulling Magnus towards the elevators that would take them down into the basement. 

“I don’t think she bought that,” Magnus warned her, and Clary sighed. 

“That’s a problem for the other me to handle.” She said, running her hand through her hair as the elevator doors closed. 

Magnus nodded, wringing his hands together. “I’m going to tell them that you were allergic to some incense in my loft, and it made you act erratically and forget the last 24 hours.”

“That’s genius, Magnus, thank you,” Clary smiled, tugging off the portal shard necklace and handing it to Magnus as the doors opened onto the basement. “Alright, can you find it?”

“Over here,” Magnus beckoned her, following the vibrations of dormant magic pulsing through the room. “Ah!” 

 

There was a crack in the wall, in the middle of which was a chip just the right size and shape for the portal shard to fit into. Magnus placed the gem into the wall and magic erupted from the crack, Magnus catching and manipulating it just in time to create a purple interdimensional portal. Clary looked at him with a question in her eyes, and he nodded.

“Clary, what the hell is that thing?” Izzy gasped from behind her, her glasses reflecting the purple light from the portal.

“You have to go, Clary, I’ll deal with the fallout. Go!” Magnus pressed, and Clary gave Izzy one last glance before pushing through the portal and tumbling out on the other side. 

She had the same clothes and weapons on her that she’d had when she entered Meliorn’s portal, and she drew her seraph blade as she ducked to take in her surroundings. Magnus’ portal had opened out into what seemed to be an abandoned factory that had been turned into a laboratory. There was a huge table pushed up against some old, rusted machinery which held lots of different kinds of chemistry apparatus, and Clary had heard Izzy talk about forensics enough to know that the green liquid dripping through the tubes closest to her was Seelie blood. 

There was plenty of equipment scattered around, tables and cages and cabinets, but there were no people. Clary activated her enhanced hearing rune and listened, closing her eyes. There were no voices in the factory, but she could hear a faint pained whimpering. With fears of finding her mother injured, Clary ran towards the source of the noise, seraph blade poised and ready just in case someone tried to surprise her. 

The noise had been coming from a narrow cabinet, the door fastened with a padlock. Clary opened it using her stele and yanked the door open, her eyes widening at what she saw.

Dot, her skin smeared with blood and grime, blinked unseeingly against the daylight that flooded into her prison. She held up her shaking hands defensively, as if expecting to be beaten. Clary fell to her knees next to her, and reached out a tentative hand, tears of relief prickling her eyes. Magnus had seemed so sure that Dot had passed, and here she was, bruised and beaten, but alive.

“Dot, it’s me. It’s Clary. I’m here to rescue you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Dot replaces Michael Wayland!!! What do you think of that?
> 
> I think my favourite part of this whole chapter is Alec breaking up with Lydia, I was like YES BBY DO IT, TELL HER KID!!!


	11. Episode 11: Blood Calls To Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing the trial scene this chapter. There aren't as many trigger warnings because it's more plot focussed than character focussed. 
> 
> Someone asked me about Lydia's characterisation last chapter, so to clarify: Lydia originally was okay with having an unromantic relationship with Alec (when Alec proposed) but after reflecting she realised how lonely that would be and decided to try and get Alec to be her close friend, and maybe eventually her lover. It wasn't a huge scheme or anything, but she did disregard Alec's queerness, assuming he would get over it eventually. Her homophobia is further elaborated on in this chapter: she thinks of it not as an inherent part of a person but as a phase of rebellion or a way to stick your finger up to the Clave's authority, or a way to unnerve people. Also, yes, she is 'okay' with Alec being trans (because Alec passes as a cis man with his clothes on), but the Clave won't accept Alec as a groom until he has surgery, which is why she emphasises that Alec must have surgery if they are to marry. Just thought I'd lay all that out - if one person was confused it's fairly likely that more of you were wondering the same thing.
> 
> Onto the trigger warnings!
> 
> Racial profiling: Canon-typical racism against downworlders. Magnus and Izzy call the Clave out for assuming Meliorn was guilty because he’s a Seelie. 
> 
> Explicit homophobia: Inquisitor Herondale is heinously homophobic. She refers to Clary and Izzy’s relationship as ‘perverted’. Additionally, Lydia tries to use Izzy’s feelings for Clary as a way to turn the court against her. 
> 
> Explicit transphobia/misgendering: Inquisitor Herondale publically misgenders Alec as a power play, before accusing him of being trans for attention.
> 
> Racism: Valentine calls Luke filthy, an animal, a dog, etc etc.

“Clary?” Dot rasped, letting Clary haul her up to her feet. “What are you doing here, you have to go!” 

“Valentine’s not here,” Clary assured her, pulling Dot’s arm around her shoulder. “How do we get out of here, do you know?” 

Dot looked around, still squinting, and pointed towards the back wall. “Valentine has a standing portal, it can take us anywhere we want. My magic’s too low.” 

“Right.” Clary nodded, guiding Dot as she took her first wobbly steps in months. “I’ll take you to Magnus. He’s the High Warlock, he’ll know how to help you.” 

“Alright, it’s over here.”

“Let me call Magnus to lower his wards, can you stand?” Clary asked, helping Dot lean against the wall next to the portal. She pressed her phone to her ear, praying that Magnus would pick up quickly. Who knew if or when Valentine would come back to get Dot?

“Clary? Did you get him?” Magnus asked.

“No, not exactly. I found his lair but the only person here was Dot.”

“Dot Rollins?” 

“Yeah, can you lower your wards so we can portal straight to you?” Clary requested.

Magnus replied without hesitation. “Of course, they’re down. Come quickly, I can only keep them down for a few moments.”

Clary hung up and pulled Dot through the portal, the two of them going sprawling over Magnus’ living room floor. Dot was wracked with a coughing fit, her cheek pressed to the floor, and Magnus hurried to help her up. 

“Oh, sweet Dorothea,” Magnus sighed, cupping her face. “What did he do to you?” 

Dot’s eyes darted to Clary, before dropping to Magnus’ chest. “I-I don’t know.”

“We’ll look after you, Dot.” Clary assured her. 

“Forget about me,” Dot urged, letting Magnus help her onto the sofa. “You need to find Valentine. He has your mother.” 

Magnus tutted, snapping some magic to his fingers to begin healing her. “Dorothea, you can’t worry about Valentine right now. Your magic is so low I can’t even feel it.” He looked down at her with mournful eyes, smoothing her hair back from my face. “I’m so sorry that I left you there in Pandemonium all alone. It was inexcusable.” 

“You had other things to worry about.” Dot sighed, before turning her gaze back to Clary. “You can’t waste time, Clary. I overheard him talking a couple of days ago, he said he needed better equipment, so he was moving to a hospital.”

“Which hospital? Did you hear?” Clary asked, sitting next to her.

Dot squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to recall. “He said he wanted to be close to his family, which I’m guessing means you.” 

“There can’t be many abandoned hospitals in New York City,” Magnus pointed out, “any spare land is seized almost instantly.”

“I’ll ask Luke to come and check them out with me,” Clary nodded, squeezing Dot’s hand. “Thank you, Dot, you’ve probably just saved the entire downworld.”

Dot smiled weakly. “At least my suffering was for something.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“All I know is we have to go. The two of us, we need to get out here. We can go… I don’t know, anywhere. We can take as many weapons as we can carry and we can ask Magnus to make us a portal.” Alec insisted, pacing back and forth in front of the window. 

“Alec, the Clave will hunt us for as long as we live if we abandon our posts. You’re still in the clear, I’m not letting you make yourself a target too.” Izzy argued from her spot on the couch. “Listen, I’m okay with this, Alec. It’s alright. If the Clave is so fucked that it’ll excommunicate me for saving a downworlder’s life, then I don’t want any part of it. Clary and I will be fine living as mundanes.” 

“Clary abandoned you to face this alone!” Alec yelled. “The Seelie Queen reported that the interdimensional rift was closed, and that there was no sign of Clary anywhere. She took the mortal cup and ran!” 

Izzy swallowed hard. “You don’t know that.”

“Well she’s sure as shit alive, because her stele is still active somewhere; the Clave can’t pinpoint it because of the blocking rune but she’s somewhere in this world. And she hasn’t bothered to come back and return the cup even though I’ve left her twelve voicemails. She’s gone, Iz. She’s not coming back.” 

“She’s fighting Valentine. How could you just assume that she’s running? After all she’s lost to get here? She has to get her Mom back, Alec.” Izzy argued, leaning forward. “You were ready to get yourself deruned to help me escape but you’re judging Clary for doing everything to help her Mom?” 

Alec clenched his jaw. She had a point. “I’m still gonna rip her a new one if she comes back.”

“When, Alec,” Izzy sighed, leaning back to look out the window, “when.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Magnus,” Clary muttered, pulling him out of earshot of Dot, who was now sleeping soundly. “Alec’s left me like a million voicemails. The Clave is putting Izzy on trial for treason and she’ll be deruned if I don’t give them the cup.”

“How long does Izzy have?” Magnus asked, and Clary shrugged helplessly. 

“He didn’t say, but by the sounds of it, not much time. We have to find Valentine tonight.” She insisted, “I can’t let Izzy get deruned because of me.”

Magnus nodded, rubbing his fingertips together. “It might be worth reaching out to Luke. The police will have information on all the abandoned hospitals in the city.” 

“Great idea,” Clary agreed, sending Luke an SOS text and hoping he wasn’t too busy to help. 

“You should tell Alec what’s going on, let him know that you’re safe.” Magnus reminded her, but she shook her head.

“Not right now, Magnus.”

Magnus looked at her with confusion, but he didn’t have a chance to ask why, because the two of them turned at the sound of Dot stirring on the couch behind them.

“What’s going on?” Dot asked, her eyes fluttering open. 

“The Clave is holding a friend of ours hostage for the mortal cup,” Magnus explained, crossing the room to help Dot sit up. 

Dot looked between Magnus and Clary with wide eyes. “You have the cup?!”

“Sort of…” Clary admitted. “We’re going after Valentine tonight. We don’t have the luxury of time now.”

Her phone started to vibrate, and Clary stepped away to answer Luke’s call. Magnus sat down next to Dot, his hands in his lap. 

“How are you feeling? Any magic?” He asked tentatively, trying to keep the guilt from his face. If he’d insisted on her coming with him that night at Pandemonium, she wouldn’t have been taken. 

Dot shook her head, her eyes on Clary. She glanced uneasily at Magnus as he reached over to take her hands in his own. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m sorry.” Magnus dropped her hands, biting the inside of his cheek. “I just… You said once that you took great comfort in physical touch. I wanted to remind you that you’re not alone.” 

“Right…” Dot nodded, brushing her hair out of her face. “Well, that was before…”

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry.” Magnus agreed. He got up from the sofa to give Dot some space, making himself useful by conjuring a fresh set of clothes for Dot to change into. “Do you want me to just…”

“No, I’ll change myself,” Dot insisted, looking pointedly at the door.

Magnus smiled reassuringly at her, and let himself out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Luke’s compiling a list of hospitals. He said you’re right,” Clary told him, tucking her phone back into her pocket, “there’s only gonna be a couple to check out.”

“That’s good news.” Magnus nodded, glancing back over his shoulder at the closed bedroom door and fiddling with his shirt cuffs. 

“What is it, Magnus? Something wrong with Dot?” 

Magnus pursed his lips. “I’m not sure. It’s just… Odd. I’ve known Dot for two centuries, and I’ve seen her react to tragedy and trauma before. Valentine must have done unspeakable things to her to break her spirit like this. She couldn’t even look me in the eye.” 

“What do you think he wanted her for?” Clary asked fearfully, her voice low. 

“I dread to think,” Magnus muttered, a shudder running down his spine. “We’ll have to keep a close eye on her over the next few days.” 

Clary nodded in agreement, opening her mouth to say that it was odd that Dot hadn’t asked about her runes or how she’d stayed safe, but both she and Magnus were pulled out of their conversation by a knock on the door. Magnus closed his eyes and reached out with his magic to check who was at his door, and he mouthed ‘Alec’ to Clary with wide eyes. She darted to the bedroom door and knocked quietly, letting herself in the moment Dot called out with an affirmative. As the bedroom door clicked shut, Magnus made his way over to the front door, hoping he didn’t look as nervous as he felt at the sight of Alexander. 

“This is an unexpected pleasure.” Magnus smiled, not moving to let Alec into the loft.

Alec looked past him, confusion scrunching his eyebrows. “Do you have someone here?” 

“Of course not! No, of course not. I just wasn’t sure if you were staying. Drink?” He offered. Alec stepped around him and wandered into the loft, wringing his hands together. 

“No, I’m, uh… Here on business.”

“Need a party planner for the wedding?” Magnus teased, going to his drinks cart to pour himself a martini. 

Alec cleared his throat. “No… Actually…”

Magnus glanced at him at the sound of hesitation, raising his eyebrow.

“I broke up with Lydia,” Alec confessed. “Well, it’s not really breaking up since we were never really together in any meaningful way, but…” 

“You…?” Magnus may have poured a little too much vodka into the glass. “You broke up with her?!” 

Alec nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “She’s putting Izzy on trial for treason. I couldn’t… I can’t marry someone who’d see Izzy deruned.” 

“Oh…” 

“She needs a defense attorney. She asked for you. I told her it was impossible, but…” Alec ran his hand through his hair. 

Magnus sat down in an armchair, swirling his finger in his glass before popping it in his mouth. 

“You’re just about the only person in the world who cares about what happens to either of us. I don’t know what else to do.” Alec admitted, his eyes fixed on Magnus’ lips despite himself. “I know a downworlder can’t defend a shadowhunter in court.”

“But a shadowhunter accused of a crime can choose any advocate.” Magnus pointed out, crossing his legs. 

“That can’t mean a downworlder…” Alec frowned, tangling his fingers together behind his back. 

Magnus smirked. “The Clave never thought that any self-respecting shadowhunter would ever choose a downworlder to defend them back in the Time of Angels, so they left a little loophole in their constitution. One that I’ve quite stylishly leapt through several times in my long life. Isabelle is not the first shadowhunter friend of mine to get in trouble with the law,” Magnus explained, taking a sip of his drink. 

“But the Clave wouldn’t like you defending her…” 

“They wouldn’t like it but there’s not a damned thing they could do about it,” Magnus gloated, standing up. “As the old fools say, ‘the law is the law.’” He croaked, pointing at Alec with an exaggerated trembling finger. Alec snorted. “So there’s nothing stopping me from hopping through that gaping loophole once again… For the right price.” 

“Name it,” Alec shrugged.

Magnus’ lips twitched. “You.” 

“Me?” Alec pointed at his own chest, swallowing hard. Surely he couldn’t mean…

“I’ll even do you pro-bono.” 

Alec chuckled nervously, taking a step back. “Magnus…”

“It was worth a try,” Magnus huffed, giving Alec a wink. “I mostly wanted to see the look on your face.” 

“God, I thought my heart was going to bust through my binder.” Alec muttered, massaging his palpitating heart. 

Magnus smiled slightly, sitting back down. “How was the consultation?” 

“Uhh…” Alec scratched the back of his head. “It was fine. Are you going to help Izzy?” 

“Of course I am,” Magnus rolled his eyes, “I couldn’t just stand by and allow her to be deruned for standing up to the Clave’s bigotry. So did the consultation make you feel better about the surgery? Do you want to talk about it?” 

Alec clammed up a little, having not even begun to sort through his feelings about his impending surgery. He wrung his hands together. “Can we talk about it after the trial?” 

Magnus nodded, squeezing Alec’s shoulder. “Whenever you need me.” 

“Thanks, Magnus.” Alec smiled at him for a moment. “I should get back. The trial’s tomorrow. 10am.”

“I’ll be there,” Magnus assured him, sighing quietly to himself as he watched the younger man let himself out of the loft. The moment the door clicked shut, Clary emerged from the bedroom. “I can’t help you with Valentine; I have to defend Izzy.” 

Clary nodded, smiling sadly. “One of us has to be there for her.” 

“It’ll be alright,” Magnus promised, “all they want is the cup. I can drag it out for as long as it takes to catch Valentine, then you can give the cup back to the Clave and they’ll let Izzy go.” 

“I’ll ask Luke to help me,” Clary decided. There was no way she could take Valentine alone, and as his ex-parabatai, Luke knew Valentine better than anyone. “He just texted; he’s on his way over with the list of hospitals.” 

“Excellent,” Magnus smiled, wandering over to the bookshelf. “While you chase down those leads, I’m going to brush up on Clave law. It’s been over a century since I last went to court.” He cast his eyes to the bedroom door. “How’s Dot?”

Clary shrugged, biting her lip. “She’s… Different.”

“Yes, I felt it too.” Magnus agreed. The Dot he knew was gentle but witty. He couldn’t recall Dot making any jokes or snarky comments at him from the moment she got there. Of course, she’d been through hell, but even when Dot had gotten trapped in Edom for a few days over a hundred years ago, she hadn’t been like this. Magnus remembered finding her, motionless, drained of energy, and yet the moment she’d woken up she’d made a sarcastic comment about Magnus looking old when he cried. “There’s something not right, here.”

“Luke’s outside,” Clary sighed, glancing down at her phone. “I gotta go.”

Magnus nodded, giving her a quick squeeze. “Good luck, biscuit.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clary texted just as Magnus was getting to the institute the next morning, telling him that she and Luke had found Valentine’s hiding spot; a hospital in Queens that was infested with demons and guarded by a dozen circle members. Feeling a little better about their chances of catching Valentine, especially since Magnus and Clary had managed to figure out what exactly was going on with Dot during the night, Magnus walked into the institute with a spring in his step. Unfortunately, his good mood was quickly crushed, because Lydia was waiting for him by the door.

“This is all your fault, warlock!” She growled at him as he passed. 

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Of course it is.” 

“I know you convinced Alec to call off our engagement.” Lydia’s face was furious. 

“I wish I could take the credit, princess, but that’s all Alec.” 

Lydia shook her head. “We could have accomplished great things together. You’ve ruined his life.” 

“Mmmm, I’m sure,” Magnus sighed, looking around the institute for Alec. “Where’s the trial taking place?”

Wordlessly, Lydia pointed at a door. Magnus smiled sweetly at her, and sauntered past. He thanked his lucky stars that Alec had found the strength to end things with her before he found himself married to her; she was a nightmare. A cardboard cutout of a thoroughly indoctrinated Clave lackey. Alec could do better. His own chances with Alec, Magnus knew, were still slim, but he felt a little better knowing that Alec was going to look for a woman who would at least have a mind of her own, one that was compatible with Alec’s. 

Inside, Alec was pacing in front of the soul sword, which was stuck in a pedestal at the centre of the room, guarded by a silent brother, who was ignoring the Lightwood siblings. Izzy was sat behind a desk in front of it, staring straight ahead. As Magnus shut the door behind him, Alec looked up and sighed in relief. Izzy stood and rushed towards him to hug him. 

“Thank you so much for this, Magnus,” she whispered. 

“Of course, Isabelle. I’ll take any opportunity to piss off the Clave, you know that.” He teased, nodding at Alec with a small smile. 

As soon as the two of them broke apart, people started filing in, filling the seats behind them. The Inquisitor filed in last as everyone took their seats, sitting in a throne behind the soul sword. Magnus fought the urge to roll his eyes at the pomp. He stepped up to the soul sword, standing opposite the silent brother.

“Will I die if I touch it?” Magnus asked.

“Only if you lie,” the Inquisitor answered dryly. Magnus pursed his lips and reached out to grasp the hilt. 

“By the power of the sword,” the silent brother said, or rather, projected into the minds of everyone in the room, “do you swear to defend your client with integrity and honesty?”

Magnus shrugged, his hands still on the sword. “No argument from me on that.” 

Lydia walked past him at that moment, taking a seat at the table opposite Izzy’s. It didn’t surprise Magnus that Lydia was the prosecutor, but it unsettled him a little. There was no way that she was going to be fair on Izzy now that Alec had dumped her. “Your honour, I question the defendant’s choice of advocate.” 

The inquisitor waved Lydia’s concern away. “The law is the law, Miss Branwell. No matter what our opinions may be, Miss Lightwood has the inarguable right to choose her advocate.” Lydia didn’t look pleased, but she sat down at her table nevertheless. “Present your case, warlock.” 

“My case is simple,” Magnus told her, raising his chin. “It is true that my client, Isabelle Lightwood, acted against the orders of the Clave. However, the Clave’s orders were unlawful and unethical. Therefore Isabelle, no matter what action she would have taken in that instance, would have been breaking the law. So, if you insist on deruning Isabelle for treason, I would hope that you would also derune Mr Lightwood and Miss Branwell, as well as all the shadowhunters that assisted in carrying out the unlawful imprisoning and planned torture of the Seelie knight Meliorn.”

“Your honour, that’s absurd,” Lydia argued, “the Clave’s orders are absolute, and I followed them to the letter.” 

“What exactly is lawful,” Magnus replied calmly, “about arresting a downworlder with no evidence linking said downworlder to the crime he is accused of? Have you read the Accords, Miss Branwell? Madame Inquisitor? I was there when they wrote them.” 

Alec smirked, pressing his fingers to his lips. He knew that Magnus would be a natural at this. As Magnus and Lydia quoted sections of the Accords at each other, the Inquisitor held up her hand to stop them. Izzy glanced back at Alec, giving him a hopeful smile, which he returned. 

“That’s enough. We are all familiar with the Accords. I will grant you, warlock, that Miss Branwell’s decision to imprison the Seelie knight was unlawful, but Miss Branwell is not the shadowhunter on trial today. Isabelle Lightwood is a low ranking shadowhunter who went out of her way to jeopardise a Clave sanctioned mission. This is not a case of ethics, this is a case of whether or not Miss Lightwood is worthy of the Clave’s trust and therefore worthy of her runes.” The Inquisitor insisted. “I want a valid argument to explain why Miss Lightwood is worthy of that trust.” 

“What you really want,” Magnus said, “is the mortal cup.”

A rumble of whispers broke out among the people watching.

Magnus tilted his head to the side. “You can hide between your pomp, Madame Inquisitor, but everyone in this room knows that Isabelle Lightwood is being held ransom for the mortal cup. Since this trial is not what it has been filed as, which is, Isabelle Lightwood versus the Clave, I move to have this case dismissed. Put the cup on trial.”

“You’re out of order.” The Inquisitor warned him.

“No,” Magnus shook his head, his fierce eyes locked on the Inquisitor’s. “You, in actuality, are the one who is out of order. This whole court is out of order. Nothing about this joke of a trial is in order.”

She looked away, sighing. “Well that’s all very dramatic, warlock, but the fact is that I run this court, and I decide who gets punished for what crime.” 

As he turned away in disgust, Magnus caught sight of Lydia. She was looking down at her notes with confusion, he head in her hands. Frowning, he took a seat next to Izzy. It seemed as if everyone in the room was waiting on Lydia to begin her arguments, but the blonde was so frazzled that she didn’t notice for a long moment. 

“Miss Branwell. If you would call your first witness,” the Inquisitor pressed, making Lydia look up. 

“Yes, Madame Inquisitor. I’d like to call Isabelle Lightwood as my first witness.” She replied, getting to her feet. She looked rattled, grabbing a piece of paper to turn around in her hands. Magnus recognised it as the nervous tic it was, and he dared to wonder for a moment if Lydia had realised her hypocrisy. Izzy took the stand with grace, her face sombre but unashamed. “You admit that you helped the Seelie Knight Meliorn escape Clave custody, I assume?”

“I do.” Izzy answered, not looking at Lydia but at Magnus, who nodded encouragingly at her. “Because I believe that downworlders need our protection as mundanes do, and I could not stand by and watch the Accords be violated.” 

“A noble motive, I’m sure,” the Inquisitor drawled, “but not one that excuses the crime.” 

“What crime is there if Isabelle was protecting the Clave from itself?” Magnus demanded, standing up.

“We’ve been through this already, warlock, sit down. Continue, Miss Branwell.” 

Lydia nodded, still turning the piece of paper in her hand around and around. “You said that you carried out this so-called rescue mission by yourself. It’s very impressive that you subdued six shadowhunters, including your own brother, and escaped with the Seelie.”

“Thank you, Miss Branwell.” Izzy smiled sweetly. 

“Did you know that there were sightings of Clary Fairchild near the City of Bones on the night in question?” 

“No.” Izzy said, “I did not. Maybe she was out for a walk.”

“You have a sexual relationship with Miss Fairchild, do you not?” Lydia asked, tilting her head to the side as people in the audience started to whisper amongst themselves.

Izzy pursed her lips, willing her cheeks not to flush. “No. Clary and I do not have a sexual relationship, but we do have a romantic one.” 

“Tomato, tomah-to.” Lydia smirked. 

Alec glared at the back of Lydia’s head, shame and unease crawling in his stomach.

“Madame Inquisitor, this is character assassination and I won’t stand for it!” Magnus insisted, “this is utterly irrelevant to the case in point. Isabelle’s feelings for Clary Fairchild have absolutely nothing to do with the mortal cup being missing.” 

“If Mr Bane would allow me to finish my argument,” Lydia replied coolly, “then perhaps he would understand the relevance.” 

“Continue, Miss Branwell. Though I warn you, I do not want this trial to turn into some perverted homosexual love story.” 

Alec bit his tongue so hard he swore it was about to bleed, and he could tell Magnus wasn’t faring much better through the hard, tense line of his shoulders. He wanted so badly to reach out to squeeze his hand, but he could feel the homophobia in the room like a palpable monster stalking the aisles, and he didn’t dare. 

“I’ll skim over the details, Madame Inquisitor. It is believed that Clary Fairchild found the cup a few days ago, shortly before my arrival in New York. She created a public spectacle by kissing Miss Lightwood in the ops centre to ensure that the shadowhunters of the New York Institute would avert their eyes, and then hid the cup right under our noses.”

“That’s not what happened,” Izzy blurted out.

Lydia turned to her. “No? Then how did Clary Fairchild come to have the cup, Miss Lightwood?” 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus stood up again, resting his palms on the table in front of him. “Could somebody clarify something for me? Is Isabelle being questioned as to whether or not she helped Melion escape, or is she being questioned about the whereabouts of the mortal cup? I simply cannot keep up with this joke of a trial.” 

The Inquisitor considered his words for a moment. “The warlock is right, Miss Branwell. The Clave will question Miss Lightwood on the cup’s location once she has been found guilty. Please focus on Miss Lightwood’s role in the Seelie’s escape.”

“As you wish, Madame Inquisitor,” Lydia nodded, the nerves suddenly coming back onto her face. “In that case, I have no further questions for Miss Lightwood.” 

Magnus narrowed his eyes as Lydia slunk back to her table. He had a feeling that Lydia had seen that legally she had no leg to stand on, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to take advantage of it. “Miss Lightwood,” he began, buttoning his jacket, “what is the main function of the Accords, in your opinion?” 

“The main function?” Izzy asked, wringing her hands together. “I think… I’m not an expert, but what I took from it is that the shadowhunters used to treat downworlders like animals, hunting them for pleasure. I think the Accords put a stop to that, and continue to protect downworlders against unnecessary cruelty.” 

“And would you say that Miss Branwell’s arrest and attempted torture of Meliorn was unnecessary cruelty?” 

“Yes,” Izzy nodded, “there was no concrete evidence linking Meliorn to Valentine. She only arrested him because he was the easiest Seelie to get a hold of as the liaison to the Clave.” 

Magnus hummed in agreement. “So you would go so far as to say this was racial profiling?” 

“Yes. It certainly was.” Izzy heaved in a deep breath and stood up, looking hard at the assembled members of the Clave. “Valentine didn’t come out of nowhere. His blatant bigotry, his mission to kill all downworlders might disturb you, but you, the Clave, are the ones that bred this hatred and distrust. By teaching young shadowhunters that they have the right to treat a downworlder’s life as worthless, by teaching them that downworlders are tools to be used as weapons of war, by teaching them that relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters are somehow shameful, you are teaching them that to treat downworlders as inferior is good and just. We, the shadowhunters of the Clave, use our angel blood to justify everything we do, just like him. And yet you wring your hands and sigh and tut at Valentine’s actions, like you didn’t teach him the same way you taught all of us. Luckily, some of us know better. Some of us have reached out with both arms to downworlders and found not enemies, but friends. Friends that deserve our respect, and our protection. And that’s exactly what I did. I protected my friend from the cruelty and injustice of what the Clave has become.”

“That is quite enough, Miss Lightwood.” The Inquisitor interrupted, holding up her hand. 

“No, I don’t think it is.” Lydia spoke up, hesitation in her voice. Magnus looked around to see her getting to her feet. “With all due respect, Madame Inquisitor, I have no case here. The warlock is right; Miss Lightwood was protecting the Accords. We cannot try her on grounds of treason, at least not without proof that she stole the mortal cup. I withdraw the charges.” 

Alec’s breath caught in his throat, and he met Izzy’s hopeful eyes before glancing at Magnus, who was smiling with satisfaction. He turned to face the Inquisitor, and shrugged.

“Looks like your prosecutor’s got nothing, Madame Inquisitor.” He told her smugly, flicking open his briefcase and magicking papers and confetti into the air. 

The courtroom erupted into chaos; people were cheering and booing in equal measure, and Alec ran up to Izzy to envelop her in a tight hug before turning to Magnus, pressing his face into the man’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispered, squeezing him so hard that Magnus wheezed, before turning back to Izzy with a grin on his face. She was going to be alright. She was going to be fine.

“Silence!” The Inquisitor commanded, banging her gavel, and the Lightwoods and Magnus turned to look at her. “If you think, Miss Branwell, that refusing to prosecute the defendant means she will go unpunished, then you are mistaken.” She straightened up in her chair, lifting her chin. “If the mortal cup is not returned to the Clave’s hands in 24 hours, Isabelle Lightwood will be deruned.” She banged her gavel down once more.

“That’s not the law!” Alec argued. “What happened to ‘the law is hard, but it’s the law?!’ Where are your principles?!”

“In times of war, Miss Lightwood,” the Inquisitor spat, rising from her chair, “principles must be bent.” 

Alec was shocked into silence, the spiteful misgendering hitting him like a slap across the face. He hadn’t been misgendered in years. Hardly anyone knew that he was trans. He met the Inquisitor’s eye as she walked towards him, his stomach dropping at the smug hatred he saw there. 

“If I were you, I would avoid drawing attention to myself, though… I know how your kind crave attention and infamy.” She hissed at him, before walking past him and out the door.

“What did she say to you?” Magnus demanded, taking his arm, but Alec shook his head.

“Alec…?” Lydia stepped into his line of sight, looking up at him through her eyelashes. “I’m sorry. She-”

“It’s fine,” Alec sniffed, straightening his spine, “forget it.” He turned to Izzy, who looked like she was about to cry. “We’ll fix this.” He promised her, “we’ll get the cup.” 

He was going to find Clary Fray if it killed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Clary, I’m coming with you.” Dot insisted, walking around the corner to where Luke and Clary were preparing to storm the hospital, “I’ve regained enough power to use portals. I’ll come, and be your means of escape if anything goes wrong.” 

Luke and Clary looked at each other for a long moment, remembering their conversation the night before while they checked out Valentine’s lair, and nodded. They’d both come to the conclusion that there was something off about Dot, but that in order to get her back to normal, they’d have to see how it all played out. 

“Here, take my gun,” Luke held it out to her, “you should keep your magic for a life or death situation. Valentine’s shadowhunters might have angel blood, but they won’t survive a gunshot to the head.” 

“Thank you, Lucian.” She smiled at him as she took it. 

“This place was crawling with demons last night,” Clary observed, looking up at the windows of the old hospital. “Are they hiding from the daylight?”

“Valentine wants to draw us in,” Dot guessed, “force you to use the cup.” 

“You’re probably right,” Luke agreed, sighing as he noticed three circle members stream out of the front doors. “I’ll engage them. Clary, you get inside. You can use the cup if necessary to keep the demons off your back. Dot…”

“She’s with me,” Clary insisted, ducking out of the way of a seraph blade as the circle members reached them. Luckily, the three of them jumped at the chance to fight a werewolf, and Clary managed to slip past, Dot in tow, as Luke started to transform. 

The halls of the hospital were covered in graffiti, but devoid of demons, and Clary rushed through them with Dot hot on her heels. They walked in almost silence, their panting breaths the only sound echoing back to them in the empty halls. Clary realised she had absolutely no idea on where to even begin looking for her mother, but the memory of sneaking into the Hotel DuMort with the Lightwoods burst into her consciousness, and she paused for a moment.

“What is it?” Dot asked impatiently, “we don’t have much time.” 

“She’ll be in the middle of the hospital,” Clary murmured, “in the most secure room. Valentine is shadowhunter trained; he’d know the the middle would be most secure. Let’s go.” 

Dot nodded, smiling a little. “Seems the shadowhunters have taught you well.” 

It didn’t take long to find the very centre of the building; up on the first floor there was a big room that Clary assumed once served as the upstairs reception. As she pushed open the door, she caught sight of her mother, encased in green magic, and floating a few feet above the ground as if she were lying on an invisible bed. Her seraph blade clattering to the ground, Clary rushed forwards, reaching out to touch her mother after all this time. The magic tingled on her hands as they passed through the translucent barrier to stroke Jocelyn’s hair back from her face, but Jocelyn didn’t wake. Clary shook her gently, calling her, but nothing seemed to work. She looked up at Dot, who was more concerned with the noises starting to grow in volume in the corridors outside.

Luke came running around the corner down the hallway, back in human form, wearing only tattered underwear, his eyes wide. “Get ready to cast locking runes!” He yelled as a horde of demons turned the corner a few feet behind him. 

Leaving her mother’s side for a moment, Clary grabbed her stele and ran towards the doorway, letting Luke slide past her before slamming the doors shut and quickly burning a barricade rune into the wood. Luke scrambled up from the ground, his eyes fixed on Jocelyn’s prone body. Clary went to his side once she was sure that the demons couldn’t get in, and squeezed his hand. 

“She’s alive,” Clary said quietly, “but I can’t wake her up.” 

“Magnus will know how,” Luke assured her, licking his lips. “Right now we have to figure out how we’re going to get out of here.”

Clary pulled what looked like the mortal cup out of her satchel, and Dot’s eyes widened. “I’ll use this.” She held the cup aloft, and commanded the demons, “find Valentine!”

The demons threw themselves against the doors and walls around them with even more fervour than before, so Clary repeated herself, her voice louder. It had no effect, and Dot hurried to her side. Her eyes were fixed on the cup.

“Give it to me. Maybe my magic will wake it up.” She suggested, holding out her hands. Clary glanced at Luke, who shook his head, but Clary put it in her hands. The moment Dot had a hold of the cup, she stepped away from Clary and Luke, gazing at it as if it were, well, magical. “Finally,” she muttered, her thumb stroking over the glowing curve of it, “my time has come.” 

“What are you talking about?” Luke demanded.

Dot turned around to face them, the cup in her hand, and pulled a stele out of her pocket with the other. Clary pursed her lips as Dot traced a glamour rune into her wrist, and her form shuddered and turned back into Valentine. As his face transformed back to normal, he looked up at Clary and Luke’s expressions, anticipating confusion. Luke was aghast, horrified, but Clary looked almost bored.

“Did you really think you could fool the High Warlock of Brooklyn with a rune glamour?” Clary asked. “I thought you were supposed to be smart.” 

“It matters not what your pet warlock knows,” Valentine sneered, holding up the cup in his hand. “Demons! Attack my enemies!” 

Luke tensed, but Clary was smirking, her hand reaching back inside her satchel. 

“Demons, stop!” Clary shouted, glancing at the walls as the demons started to burrow through the concrete. Without so much as a growl, the demons paused, waiting for further instruction. After a moment to gather her most gloating expression, Clary looked at Valentine, right as Luke started to laugh. “You’re not the only one who can cast a glamour, Valentine.” Clary sneered, pointing to the #1 Dad mug that Valentine was holding. 

Valentine growled, and hurled the mug to the ground. 

“What do you think, Luke? Should we let the demons deal with him?” Clary asked, bringing the real mortal cup into sight.

Luke shook his head, advancing on his ex parabatai. “No. He’s mine.” 

“Demons, be gone!” Clary called, and the demons melted away, retreating back to whatever dark hole they’d crawled out of. “Luke, we should bring him in alive.” 

“Of course,” Luke nodded, “I just want to talk.”

“All you ever did was talk,” Valentine scoffed, “you were always a coward.” 

“That’s why you had me turned into a wolf. Because I was a coward and you weren’t scared of me,” Luke shot back sarcastically, stepping closer to Valentine. 

“I turned you into a wolf because you stole Jocelyn from me! I thought that she’d have more dignity than to choose a filthy animal over me! Clearly I was wrong! She’s just as filthy as you are.” Valentine growled, brandishing the gun that Luke had given him before. “What was it you said, Lucian? Even shadowhunters will be put down by a bullet to the head?! I wonder if that applies to dogs as well.” 

“You leave him alone!” Clary shouted, stepping in front of Luke. 

“You have no idea what this thing put our family through, Clarissa. Step aside, let me end this, and we can be a family again.” Valentine promised.

Clary shook her head. “Luke is all the family I need.”

“Have you seen Lucian in his dog form, Clarissa? It’s disgusting. He’s a wild animal, he will rip you to shreds if you get in his way.” 

“He’s not the one with a gun pointed between my eyes.” Clary pointed out. 

Valentine pursed his lips, and lowered the gun slowly. “Fair point. Do me a favour, would you? Wake up your mother? All three of us must be ready for the work ahead.” 

“What work?” Luke taunted, “we have the cup. You have nothing.”

Valentine grinned, slipping a ring off his finger and smashing the stone on the ground. A portal appeared behind him, and before Clary and Luke could grab him, he’d disappeared. Luke and Clary looked at each other, and fell into a hug. 

“You could have warned me before I gave him that gun.” Luke huffed, and Clary laughed. The two of them headed over to Jocelyn’s side. 

“Do you really think Magnus can wake her up?” Clary asked, looking down at her mother’s sleeping body. 

“Magnus can do anything.” Luke assured her. “Come on, let’s get her to him.”

Clary shook her head. “No, we have to go to the institute. Izzy’s running out of time, we need to give the cup back.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec got back from his search to see Clary standing in the ops centre, handing the cup over to Lydia. He felt a flash of rage hot in his stomach, and stormed across the room. She smiled at him as he approached, but it quickly faded to fear.

“It’s about goddamn time.” Alec snarled. “Where have you been?!” 

“I found my mother,” Clary explained, holding up her hands, “look, I’ve returned the cup, now Izzy can be freed.” 

Alec clenched his jaw, hands on his hips. “You told me that you were serious about Izzy, that you cared about her.” 

“I’m going to go and deliver the good news to the Inquisitor.” Lydia told them, “Alec, I hope there’s no hard feelings after all thi-”

“Walk away, Lydia.” Alec gritted out, not taking his eyes off Clary. “Well? Any explanation? At all? You took the cup without telling me, and you nearly handed it over to Valentine. You put Izzy’s life in danger and you didn’t even manage to bring Valentine in.”

“I’m sorry, Alec. I had to save my Mom. It wasn’t my intention to put the cup in danger, you know that.” Clary replied. 

“Was it your intention to trade Izzy’s life for Jocelyn’s?” Alec demanded, “would it have been worth it, if Izzy had been deruned?!” 

“She wasn’t, so what does it matter?” Clary snapped, her green eyes meeting his dark ones. “Why are you picking a fight?! Everything’s fine!” 

“Fine?!” Alec repeated, “you broke Izzy’s trust and your mother’s still asleep. God knows how you’re going to wake her up.”

Clary opened her mouth to respond, but she had nothing to say. She knew that it had been the right thing to do, and that Izzy would understand that what she did was for the greater good. When Jocelyn woke up, she could tell them everything they needed to know about Valentine, which could turn the war in their favour. As much as it hurt, that Alec was angry, Clary also knew that it didn’t really matter.

“I’m going to go,” Alec sighed, running his hand through his hair, “and tell my sister that she still has a future. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from the both of us.” 

“Izzy was in on my plan, Alec, she helped me figure it out. She’ll understand.” Clary called after him, but he didn’t turn back as he walked away from her. 

He paused once he got around the corner, forcing the tension, the anger, from his body. There was no point in wasting more energy on Clary’s antics. Izzy had been freed; this was supposed to be a victory. She deserved to hear this from Alec when he was calm and happy. Once he’d come back to himself a little, he carried onto Izzy’s room. 

Perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised that Magnus had stayed with her. After all, Magnus and Izzy had struck up a friendship since he came into their lives a couple of weeks ago. Alec shouldn’t have been surprised to see Magnus sitting with her on the sofa, her hand encased in two of his. They were smiling a little sadly at each other, but the two of them looked up at the sound of Alec entering the room. 

Alec smiled at his sister, putting his hands out. “The Clave has the cup. You’re officially pardoned.” 

“Clary got back?!” Izzy stood up, the light that Alec hadn’t realised had been missing growing in her eyes. “Where is she?!” 

“I… She’s around, I don’t know. The point is, you’re not going to be deruned.” Alec reminded her, taking her by the shoulders. “You future’s still bright.” 

Izzy was looking past Alec, trying to see if Clary was with him. She forced herself to focus on her brother, but all she could think of was Clary. “That’s wonderful.”

“It is wonderful,” Magnus volunteered, standing up and shrugging on his jacket. “I’m so happy for you, Isabelle.” 

“Where are you going in such a rush?” Izzy asked, “don’t you have to, I don’t know… Pick up your payment?” She wiggled her eyebrows a little, tilting her head in Alec’s direction.

Alec rolled his eyes. “Magnus kindly offered to do me- it. He-”

Izzy giggled, and Magnus smirked.

“He offered to do IT pro-bono. Though…” Alec looked at Magnus through his eyelashes. “We both certainly owe him a favour.” 

“I’m going to go and find Clary,” Izzy declared, “you two should talk.”

“Why would you want to go and find the woman who betrayed you?” Alec frowned, standing in the doorway so Izzy couldn’t pass. “She put your whole life at risk. For what?”

Izzy glowered at him. “I know you think you have to safeguard me because you’re my big brother, but I can look out for myself.”

“You’re just going to let her get away with almost getting you deruned?!” 

“No, actually, I’m not.” Izzy replied flatly. “But I am going to hear her out.” 

Alec opened his mouth to respond, but he knew there was no point arguing. Clary had, after all, ultimately saved the day, no matter how painful it was to admit. Alec just wished she’d returned his call and told him the plan. He did not take kindly to feeling helpless. With another little push from Izzy, Alec stepped aside and allowed her to pass him. 

“Clary did remarkably well considering she’s only been a shadowhunter for a few weeks,” Magnus pointed out tentatively, once Izzy was gone. Alec folded his arms, grumbling. 

“I suppose.” 

Magnus sighed, and buttoned his jacket. “Walk me out, would you?” He let Alec go first, gesturing to the door with his arm, and Alec smiled at the chivalrous gesture, passing through the doorway before Magnus. “So what’s the plan now?” 

“With Valentine?” Alec asked uneasily, “I have no idea.” 

“I was talking about you, Alexander. You called off your engagement, but you didn’t call off your surgery. I was just… Wondering… If the consultation put your mind at ease. If you’d decided…” Magnus explained.

Alec shrugged, running his hand through his hair. “Honestly I have no fucking idea what I’m doing with any of it. I… I still need a wife. Especially now that Clary’s back. And she failed to get Valentine. You felt the hatred in that room when Lydia talked about Izzy’s feelings for Clary. I don’t know. I have no idea, Magnus.” 

“That’s perfectly understandable.” Magnus nodded, walking with his eyes on the ground, pausing for a moment to consider his next words. “For the record… I understand why you feel you need to go through with this, but if Izzy can come through this…” 

“It’s different. Izzy had the law on her side. I don’t.” 

“Yes, I know. I just hate the thought of you doing all this, compromising your happiness, going through a surgery you don’t want, just to please those pigs. I…” Magnus breathed in sharply. 

Alec smiled slightly, nudging Magnus a little. “I know. But… I don’t know. I feel a little better after the consultation. Like I said before, binders are hell. I’m not gonna lie, the thought of not having to wear one is tempting, to say the least. And having Cat there? It changes things. I mean, for the sake of a week of iratzes and bed rest, I could stand in front of a mirror and not hate what I see?” He sighed, biting the inside of his cheek. “I just wish it wasn’t happening at the same as all this Valentine bullshit.”

“I don’t suppose there’ll ever be a quiet few months in the life of a shadowhunter.” Magnus chuckled.

“Nope, not until I’m dead.” 

Magnus snorted, turning to face Alec as they reached the front door. “Well, whatever happens… I hope you know I’ll be here for you. As a friend.” 

“A friend?” Alec repeated, his heart sinking a little.

“Alexander,” Magnus shook his head. “I won’t be a married man’s dirty little secret. I’m worth more than that.” 

Alec gulped, nodding. “Yeah. Yes, you’re right. You are, of course you are.” He looked down at his feet. “You deserve everything.” 

Magnus’ gaze softened, and he cursed Alec’s ability to reduce him to mush with a simple, honest sentence. “I wish things could be different.” 

“Me too.” Alec whispered, squeezing Magnus’ hand. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izzy found Clary in the infirmary, watching over her mother. Clary looked up the moment Izzy appeared in the doorway, and got to her feet so quickly that her chair keeled over. The redhead’s expression was fearful, and her anxiety only grew when Izzy swallowed hard, making no move to come further into the room. 

“Iz…”

“You didn’t check in.” Izzy pointed out.

Clary pressed her lips together. “No, I didn’t.” 

“Why not?”

“I-”

“I was almost deruned… Everyone was saying that you’d abandoned me. I thought you might have run.” Izzy shook her head, tucking her hair between her ears. “You could have called when you got back from the other dimension.”

Clary scratched her forehead. “I kinda had bigger things to worry about, Iz. You know, like, stopping Valentine before the Clave decided to wipe all your angel blood from your veins. I didn’t have time to stop and think. I didn’t have time to breathe, I had to get it done.”

“So you let me think that you’d run away for my own good?” 

“That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant!” Clary insisted.

Izzy walked a little further in the room, close enough to Clary that the redhead could see the hurt in her eyes. “You couldn’t spare thirty seconds to return Alec’s call?”

“I saw things in that other dimension, alright?!” Clary blurted out, “things that I needed to process.” 

“Like what?” Izzy asked, eyebrows furrowing in the middle. 

Clary pursed her lips and looked away. “Valentine was a good man. Alec was… He was… Totally different. And you?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “You and me were still together. Even though we weren’t shadowhunters, even though odds were that we’d never have met, we somehow found our way to each other, even there. And… I… Look, I’ve only been in this world for a couple of weeks. Vampires and werewolves and magic… And now… Soulmates?” 

“You…” Izzy had never been more confused. “So you took that to mean we were soulmates? And your way of dealing with that was to let me go through that trial with radio silence from you?! Is there logic here, Clary, because I’m not following.” 

“I didn’t think about it!” Clary confessed, “all I knew is that I had to get my Mom back. She is the one thing that was constant. She was there, she was the same. I had to get her back. I need something to… When I was in that dimension, I needed something to ground me in that world. My Mom is that to me. She grounds me, Iz, in this insane shadow world I’ve been hurled into. I… Barely know you. I’ve only known you for two weeks, and I feel so much, I don’t know what to do with it. I need her, Iz. I need her to help me understand all of this.” 

Izzy sucked her lower lip into her mouth, her mind reeling. “I understand how important she is to you. I understand why you felt so focussed on her. But you let me face the scariest moment of my life without a single word. Can you see how that would make me feel?” 

“Of course I do,” Clary replied, walking around her Mom to approach Izzy, taking her hands. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care what happened. I just had to save her.” 

“I know.” Izzy said quietly, pulling her hands from Clary’s. “Just give me a couple of days, yeah?”

Clary opened her mouth to protest, but she nodded. “Alright. Okay. Yeah.” 

Izzy gave her a swift, soft kiss on the cheek, before sweeping out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start the planning stages of season 2 today or tomorrow - if you could drop a comment expressing interest if you'd like to see a sequel to Fighting the Good Fight, that would be great! I don't want to commit to a 100k+ word project unless I've got significant demand for it.


	12. Episode 12: Malec

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec prepares for top surgery while Magnus works with Clary and Izzy to track down a cure for Jocelyn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get into this chapter, I just want to say that since I last updated two weeks ago I was sent a link to another trans Alec fic which was just awful. It was full of transphobic tropes and notions and was ultra triggering and, surprise, surprise, when I tried to explain to the cis writer why it was not appropriate for her to post, she refused to listen. I urge my readers, trans and cis, not to consume creative work (not just fanfiction) about trans people that is not written by, or at least beta-d by, trans people. I honestly have yet to see any story written by a cis person that portrays trans people well. Please consume sensibly, and support trans writers and artists. We get little to no support in fandom or in creative industries. If you want to hype the concept of trans Alec, or trans anyone, just hype our fics (it doesn't even have to be mine! JaziandCo is amazing, too!). If you have an idea in mind for a ficlet about trans Alec or trans whoever, just prompt a trans writer! It's really not that difficult! I love my readers so much, you've all been wonderful. I can't wait to read your reactions to this chapter.
> 
> This is almost definitely my favourite chapter so far. There are a lot of scenes in this one that I've been looking forward to write. Alec has a pretty good chapter, nothing too heavy, but Magnus... Well...
> 
> Trigger warnings!
> 
> Grief/death: Cat briefly talks about losing Dot. Nothing too heavy but Cat is clearly upset. Additionally, Ragnor dies in this chapter. Magnus’ grief is stark, so read with caution if you’ve recently lose someone, especially a parent.
> 
> Possible homophobic language?: Magnus refers to Ragnor as a ‘sod’, which can be traced back to ‘sodomite’. It’s a very British insult and of course, since Magnus is queer (and was alive when it was used as an identity as well as an insult), it’s his to reclaim. Ragnor isn’t phased by it at all, I just wanted to warn you just in case it’s a word you don’t like!
> 
> Internalised transphobia: Alec refers to his transness as a ‘situaiton’ that cis gay men might not be okay with. He doesn’t think too hard about it, it’s just a passing mention.
> 
> Mention of domestic abuse: Maryse tells Alec that Robert wants to beat him, and seems horrified when she finds out that Robert has threatened Alec before.
> 
> Racism: Maryse is genuinely upset at the fact that Magnus is a downworlder cus she’s a biG OLD RACIST

“I’m going insane,” Alec announced, pacing back and forth in his bedroom.

“I can imagine,” Cat hummed on the other side of the phone, her voice tinny. “A week with nothing to do while Valentine skulks around doing God knows what? I’m surprised you haven’t torn all your hair out.” 

Alec sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s too much time to think, I hate it.” 

“At least it’s given you a chance to sort through your feelings about surgery. I know that your thing is pushing everything down into a tiny ball in the back of your head, but if you’d gone in without processing it then your recovery would have been awful.”

“Is there such a thing as too much processing?” 

Cat snorted. “Maybe. Why, what’s bouncing around in that workaholic head of yours?” 

Alec hesitated, looking over his shoulder to check that no-one was there, which was ridiculous, considering it was his bedroom. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea to do this right now. Sure, everything’s quiet, but Valentine could pop up any second, and what if I’m stuck in recovery when that happens? I just… If anything happened to you and Magnus because I wasn’t there to stop him…” 

The other side of the phone was quiet for a moment. “Alec, sweetie, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if Magnus and I needed you to save us from one middle-aged shadowhunter, we’d be pretty terrible warlocks.”

“But if he gets a hold of the mortal cup-”

“Listen, I hate the Clave as much as anybody, but if there’s one thing they’re good at, it’s hiding things. The cup will be fine. Now, the real question is, are you wanting to put this off because of Valentine, or because you’re not ready?” 

Alec licked his lips. “Honestly? The idea of surgery doesn’t scare me like it did before. I think I’m even excited to not have to wear a binder anymore. The thought of being able to just throw on a t-shirt and not check my watch obsessively to make sure that I’m not crushing my ribs… I’m looking forward to it, I think. I just… After I have surgery, there’s no excuse to put off getting married. As soon as Valentine’s dealt with, or we get another quiet patch, I’ll have to go to Idris and meet the eligible women that my mother’s been writing to me about. And I’m fucking dreading it.” 

“Damn,” Cat said quietly. “I’m so glad that you genuinely want this, Alec, it’s such a relief to hear. I don’t know that I could have let you go through it otherwise.” She hesitated for a moment. “Have you considered that maybe you should wait before rushing into marriage? I mean, you don’t know how the Clave will see you once you have top surgery. Maybe they won’t be quite as hard on you.” 

“Maybe, but I still have to make a respectable marriage for Izzy’s sake,” Alec pointed out. “I don’t know. I’ll get over it. How are you doing, anyway? I’ve been so damn self absorbed. What’s new?” The topic of his heterosexual future was making Alec feel anxious, and, as Cat had insightfully said, Alec was better at pushing those feelings away than he was at dealing with them.

“I’m alright… I, uh…” Cat was silent for a moment, and Alec sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Cat, what is it?” 

Cat laughed softly, sadly. “It’s been a little hard to bounce back from the news about Dot. I was just starting to accept that she was gone, and when Magnus said she was back, I thought my heart was going to explode. And then…”

“I’m sorry.” Alec said quietly, rubbing his knee. “I’m so sorry, Cat.”

“Yeah, it’s alright.” Cat answered, “It’s better, anyway. That’s she’s dead, I mean. Better that than being tortured by Valentine.”

There wasn’t really an answer to that, so Alec stayed quiet, wishing he could hug her. 

“Anyway,” she sniffed, breathing in sharply. “Life goes on, hmm? I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early. Are you sure you don’t want to ask Magnus to help look after you? You really need someone there at all times, and Izzy might-”

“I don’t want to keep leaning on him, Cat, it’s not fair. To either of us.”

He hadn’t spoken to Magnus since the day of Izzy’s trial. It had been selfish, asking Magnus to do this and that, over and over again, when they both knew that whatever was between them couldn’t last. Magnus deserved to have someone who could commit to him properly. More than anything, Alec wished that he could turn his back on the Clave, on everything, and show up on Magnus’ doorstep with flowers or something, beg Magnus to forgive him for everything he’d put him through. But that was a distant daydream. He could never, would never, leave Izzy at the mercy of the Clave.

“Besides, my mother said she’d be here, too.” Alec shrugged, “I’ll be fine.” 

“Alec, I narrowed down the warlocks!” Izzy burst into the room, clutching a piece of paper. “Oh, sorry.” 

“Cat, I gotta go. See you tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Yeah, 9am. Don’t be late, I don’t care if Valentine himself wanders through the institute doors.” 

Alec snorted. “I’ll be there early. I promise.” Once he hung up, he looked up at Izzy. “Anyone we know?”

Izzy nodded, thrusting the paper at him. “Our old teacher, Ragnor Fell. The others I don’t know. I think we’re going to have to ask Magnus.” 

“There’s no way we can just question them all ourselves?” Alec asked grimly, scratching his forehead. There were five names on the list. He knew full well that they didn’t have the time to do that, especially without asking Magnus for portals.

“The angelic power in Jocelyn’s blood is getting weaker by the day, we need to wake her up. Brother Jeremiah thinks she has two weeks tops. By the time we track down these warlocks…” 

“Right, right,” Alec nodded, getting up from the bed. “Of course. Magnus will be able to tell us in a few minutes. I’ll call him.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Izzy assured him, patting his arm. “You need to stay calm, you’ve got surgery tomorrow. Clary and I have this. I just wanted to tell you he’d be around.”

Alec smiled slightly. “Thanks, Iz. I appreciate it.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So we’ve narrowed down the list of warlocks more powerful than you to five.” Izzy gestured to the screen in front of them as Magnus wrinkled his nose.

“First of all, let’s get one thing straight. It’s not that these jokers are more powerful, they’re just old and decrepit and have too much time on their hands inventing boring spells that no-one will ever use.” Magnus sniffed, and Izzy giggled, shaking her head. He turned his eyes to the screen, making a noise of genuine distress. “You put Ragnor on here? RAGNOR?!” 

“He’s nine hundred, and he taught in Idris when my Mom was there. She might have known him,” Clary pointed out, “don’t take it personally.” 

Magnus grumbled, but looked the list over. “Honestly, as much as it pains me to admit this, I really think that Ragnor is the most likely candidate. Iris is mostly into dark magic, Bartholomew hates shadowhunters, circle or clave, Soonyeon’s specialty is transfiguration rather than potions. As for Lorenzo, I am offended that he’s even included. His only strength is ass-kissing. It has to be Ragnor.”

“Any idea on where we can find him?” Izzy asked, “Alec and I are able to send him fire messages but we have no idea where he is.”

“Has he been replying to your messages?” 

“Alec heard from him a couple of weeks ago. He asked Ragnor to confirm whether or not our parents were in the Circle.” Izzy shrugged, her eyebrows creasing. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason…” Magnus replied thoughtfully, frowning a little to himself as he turned away.

So Alec was that student that Ragnor had mentioned in his letters; the skittish teenage shadowhunter who wasn’t sure what they were supposed to be. The one who had tentatively asked Ragnor if he could change their body just over ten years ago. Ragnor had asked Magnus for advice, considering Magnus helped several trans people with potions and such. He’d mentioned the teenager who grew up to be Alec several times, expressing quiet hope that he’d grow up to be a compassionate leader. Of course it was Alec. Ragnor wouldn’t answer fire messages to just anyone. Magnus felt a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach, wishing he could put Alec’s birth name out of his head. It felt like an awful invasion of privacy to know it without Alec’s consent. On the other hand, this was the second time that it turned out one of his close friends had known Alec for years without him knowing. 

Perhaps he and Alec truly were meant to be.

“Magnus?” Clary touched his arm, and Magnus realised that the two women had been talking to him this whole time. “Do you know where to find Ragnor?”

“Yes, of course.” He nodded, scratching his jaw. “He’ll be at his estate in Kent. He only leaves England for the winter. I think it’s best that I come with you. Ragnor can be difficult.” 

Izzy smiled slightly. “He was always nice to me.” 

“Well, of course he was. You’re a delight. He likes good manners. But he won’t take kindly to someone turning up on his doorstep in the height of a crisis like this.” Magnus explained, “we’ll go in a little while. I just have to go and see Alec.”

Izzy opened her mouth to make an excuse for her brother, but Magnus was already gone. As she turned around to grab a spare seraph blade, she caught Clary’s eye, and hastily looked away. 

“Iz,” Clary wrapped her fingers around Izzy’s wrist, her green eyes mournful. “Are you still mad at me?” 

“I don’t know,” Izzy admitted, her other hand wrapping around the one Clary had on her wrist. “I don’t know what I feel right now. This is complicated, and I don’t know what to do with it. This isn’t the time. We have a mission.” 

“Then when is the time?” Clary asked beseechingly. “Look, I know that… I know that I messed up pushing you away. But trying to do all this without you and Alec is just impossible. If you don’t want to be with me, I can deal with that, but I need your friendship, Iz. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That makes two of us,” Izzy said softly, smiling a little. Clary’s lips curved up a fraction, and Izzy sighed, unable to keep from pressing their lips together gently. “You’re impossible to resist, Clary Fray.” 

Clary sighed, brushing her lips against Izzy’s cheek. “My bad.” 

Izzy snorted, and closed her eyes for a moment, their foreheads together. They could feel the furtive glances that the shadowhunters around them shot their way, but neither of them could bring themselves to care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alec?” Magnus knocked on Alec’s bedroom door, fiddling with his cravat as he waited for Alec to answer.

Alec looked a little guilty as he opened the door, chewing the inside of his cheek. “What’s up?” 

“Can I come in?”

“Uhh… Sure.” Alec stepped aside to let Magnus walk past him, a little unnerved by the anxiety radiating off Magnus. He was hugging himself, his hands squeezing his elbows. “Magnus, what’s wrong?”

“I know your birth name,” Magnus confessed, “I am so sorry, I promise you I didn’t go looking for it, I just… Figured it out. Ragnor told me about you years ago, and I just put it together. I-”

Alec blinked. “That’s it?” 

“Well…” Magnus swallowed hard, “yes.” 

With a tilt of his head, Alec smiled a little. “I don’t mind you knowing it as long as you’re not about to start calling me by it.” 

“I would never!”

Alec melted. “It was sweet of you to come here just to tell me that. But you have nothing to apologise for. Really.” 

“Are you sure? I feel awful. Honestly I’m considering yanking the whole memory out of my head, it feels like a gross invasion of privacy.” Magnus confessed, clenching his hands into his fists to keep himself from doing something stupid like pulling Alec in close. “In hindsight, I’m not sure why I came here to tell you all this. Maybe I just wanted to see you.”

“Magnus…” Alec sighed. He shook himself out of the moment, running his hand through his hair. “This is… This has gotten out of hand.” 

“Out of hand?” Magnus asked quietly.

“Yes.” Alec gulped. “I-I never… This is confusing. You’re confusing me.”

“Alec, even shadowhunters fall in love.” Magnus pointed out, “I’ve seen it happen.” 

“You can’t just fall in love this fast, it’s not possible. It’s not rational.” 

Magnus smiled slightly. “Feeling confused is part of it. Hey, look at me. Up until I met you I didn’t trust shadowhunters as far as I could throw them. Four hundred years of belief, and you came along and kicked that over like a sandcastle, Alexander. I’m confused too. But that’s how you find out if something’s there.” 

“What do you mean?” Alec asked, crossing his arms tightly.

“Emotions are never black and white, they’re more like symptoms.” Magnus explained, wringing his hands together, steeling himself. He stepped a little closer, licking his lips as he heard Alec’s breath hitch. “You lose your breath every time they enter a room. Your heart beats faster when they walk by. Your skin tingles when they stand close enough to feel their breath.”

Alec breathed out shakily, dropping his hands. He opened his mouth to speak, but shook his head. 

“Tell me you feel what I feel, Alec.”

“Magnus, I can’t, my duty-”

“Take a risk. Take a risk on me, Alexander. Please.” Magnus entreated him, his hands lifting to hold Alec’s biceps.

Alec shook his head, pulling away. “I think you should go. I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have strung you along, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Magnus.” 

You’d have thought that Magnus would have been used to heartbreak after all the centuries that had passed him by, but it still stung as much as the first one at age twenty-three. He inhaled sharply. “You have a choice to make.” 

“I…” Alec’s eyes looked like they were begging Magnus not to go, but his lips spoke over them. “Even if I did feel something for you, something real, what? You want me to give up my life for you?” He asked, his voice bereft and helpless. “I have to do what’s right for me and Izzy.”

Magnus swallowed hard. “I will not ask again.”

Alec struggled for a moment, his heart racing. Magnus or Izzy? That’s what it all came down to. Protecting Izzy from the Clave, or being with Magnus. Izzy’s life or his heart. Izzy’s happiness or his own.

He remained silent, and turned away to organise the papers on his desk.

As he heard the door close behind him, he let out the softest whimper, his hand coming up to his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Isabelle,” Maryse strode over to where she was standing with Clary, going over Ragnor’s file. Izzy gave Clary a long-suffering look, before turning to greet her mother. 

“Alec’s in his room,” Izzy told her, giving her a nod. “He mustn’t be stressed out, he needs to stay as calm as possible, doctor’s orders.” 

“Of course, that makes sense,” Maryse was smiling in a forced, overly happy sort of way, and it was kind of creeping Clary out. “I hear you retrieved Jocelyn’s body from Valentine.” 

“She’s not dead,” Clary insisted.

“Oh, no, my apologies, that was a poor choice of words.” 

Clary gaped at her.

“How is your brother? Is he looking forward to tomorrow?” She asked Izzy crisply.

“He doesn’t seem to be dreading it, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it too much. Are you coming to the hospital tomorrow?” 

Maryse nodded, “of course I am! He’s my son! And besides, some representatives from the Clave are coming to monitor the procedure. Naturally, they don’t want to rely too heavily on a warlock to make sure Alec’s blood stays uncorrupted. And this is history in the making! It has to be documented for future generations.” 

“Right. So they’re happy that Alec’s having surgery?” Izzy asked skeptically.

“Well, of course. The consul has a granddaughter who’s,” Maryse glanced around to check that no-one was listening, “infertile. So Alec has been chosen as her husband. They’ll adopt a shadowhunter child in need and that’ll be that. It’s a good match. Alec will be so powerful in Idris.” 

Clary scoffed, shaking her hand. “So this is all about power. Now it makes sense.” 

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Miss Fray. You’re basically a mundane.” Maryse replied coolly.

“Clary’s a better shadowhunter than you’ll ever be, Maryse,” Magnus said, walking up to them and squeezing Clary’s hand. 

Maryse raised her chin. “I have to go and see Alec.” Without another word, she turned on her heel and headed towards the living quarters. Izzy and Clary sighed in relief at the same time. 

“Are you ready to go?” Magnus asked, avoiding eye contact with the two of them. 

“Is Alec alright?” Izzy prodded tentatively.

Magnus shrugged. “I’m sure. Shall we?”

“If we want to back at a reasonable time tonight we need to go now.” Clary pointed out, nodding at Magnus as she took Izzy’s hand. Magnus led them outside to create the portal, his mind racing. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Alec chose his career over Magnus. Why was he so upset? It didn’t make sense. Alec was a shadowhunter, they lived their lives in the service of the Clave. Magnus was being irrational.

“I’ll go through first to solidify the destination,” Magnus threw over his shoulder, suddenly grateful that he was about to see Ragnor. He needed something to take his mind off the stubborn shadowhunter dancing around his heart. As always, the weather in England was cold and cloudy, and Magnus shuddered as he waited for Clary and Izzy to come through his portal. 

“How come Ragnor doesn’t teach at the academy anymore?” Clary asked, “the way Izzy and Alec talk about him, he was the best teacher ever.” 

“He resigned in protest when a warlock was given the death penalty a couple of years ago.” Magnus answered, leading the way across the field towards Ragnor’s home. “The warlock accused, Maria, was one of the warlocks that Ragnor took under his wing. She even shared his family name. It was a huge blow losing her like that. All for a few erroneous spells. It was barbaric.” 

Izzy nodded solemnly. “I remember hearing about that from Aline. It shocked everyone. The consul is an awful racist. I hope he gets voted out next election.” 

“The Clave is fucked,” Clary announced, and Magnus snorted.

“You don’t know the half of it, biscuit.” Magnus shook his head, stopping suddenly in his tracks and grabbing Izzy before she walked right into Ragnor’s wards. “We’re here.”

“I don’t see anything, is it warded?” Izzy asked, squinting. 

Magnus picked a handful of grass and tossed it away from him, rolling his eyes as the blades turned into fireworks, shooting up above their heads. “Melodramatic as usual.”

“You’re calling this guy melodramatic? Damn.” Clary chuckled.

“Oh, I’m vain and flashy, but I learned it all from Ragnor.” Magnus assured her. “To get through the wards, we must have pure intentions. Think of Jocelyn, not the potion. Think of saving her.” 

Izzy nodded, closing her eyes and stepping through the wards, disappearing the moment her skin touched the invisible barrier. Clary looked at Magnus for reassurance, eyes wide. After a nod from him, she stepped through as well, followed closely by Magnus himself.

Ragnor was waiting for them outside the house, looking distinctly put out. “It’s good manners to send a message ahead, Bane of my life!” 

“Why, my little cabbage, I’m wounded. I’m family, since when do family need to call ahead?” Magnus cooed, walking between Izzy and Clary to approach the older warlock. “Besides, you haven’t been answering your fire messages, you moody old sod.” 

“I’ve been answering the important ones,” Ragnor grouched, seizing Magnus in a brisk, forceful hug, before pushing him back to look at him. “Who’s upset you? I’ll turn them into a lizard.” 

Magnus laughed, choking up a little. “How do you always know?” 

Ragnor squeezed Magnus’ shoulders gently, before turning his attention to Clary and Izzy. “Isabelle Lightwood! Why, look at you! You’ve grown up so quickly! It makes sense, of course, since Alec runs the institute now. Come here, let me see you. My eyesight’s not as good as it used to be.” 

“And you haven’t aged a day. You’re making me look bad, Professor Fell.” Izzy teased, walking towards him and going for a handshake, surprised when he pulled her into a hug. 

“Now, little Lightwood, none of that Professor Fell nonsense. You are no longer a student, and I am no longer a teacher. Ragnor, please. Oh, but wait, your mother had another child, didn’t she? I can’t keep up these days. How is the baby?” 

“Max is nine, Ragnor,” Izzy laughed, letting him usher her inside the house. Clary and Magnus looked at each other, assuming they were supposed to be following, and dashed in after them.

“Oh, so he’s at the academy? I’ve fallen awfully behind since I left. Once all this Valentine unpleasantness is behind us, I must have you and Alec over for dinner.” 

“That would be lovely, Ragnor, but actually, this Valentine unpleasantness is why we’re here.” Izzy explained, grabbing Clary’s elbow and pulling her forwards. “This is Clary Fray. You knew her mother, Jocelyn?” 

Ragnor slipped his glasses a little further up his nose, and nodded. “Why, you look exactly like her. I suppose you’ve come about the potion, hmm?” 

“So you did make it?” Magnus asked, taking a seat in the nearest armchair and making himself comfortable.

“Yes, of course. As you know I never liked Jocelyn much, no offense to you, Clary, of course… But if there was a chance to irritate that hound Valentine, I sure as hell was going to take it.” Ragnor chuckled. 

“No offense taken, Ragnor, but please… There is a way to wake her up, isn’t there?” Clary asked, taking his hands in hers. “I know that she was a circle member, but she’s my Mom too, and I need her back. She has knowledge about Valentine that could help us beat him.” 

Ragnor looked at Magnus, who nodded. “Truth be told, I wiped the antidote from my mind and fed it to a memory demon. If I’d kept the formula in my mind, Valentine could have tortured it out of me. I’m not terribly good with pain, you see.”

“Please tell me,” Magnus groaned, rubbing his forehead, “that you didn’t use Valak.” 

“Well… Yes, of course I did. He’s the most powerful, there’s no way anyone would get to him…” Ragnor trailed off, looking at the grim looks on the faces of the others. “Why do you ask?” 

“I had to kill Valak.” Clary sighed, running her hand through her hair. 

“You killed Valak?!” Ragnor wrung his hands together. “Oh my giddy aunt, I used that demon for everything! Magnus, he even had my memories of our trip to Monaco.” 

“Why would you feed a memory demon your holiday memories?” 

“Well, for safe-keeping, of course! I’m nine hundred, my mind can’t keep all of my memories pristine. Miss Fray, my darling girl, I’m sure you had a good reason, but all those YEARS…” Ragnor threw himself on the sofa, his arm over his face. 

“I did it to save Alec,” Clary explained. “Ragnor, I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t let Alec be ripped apart like that.” 

“If you just used memory vials like a normal person…” Magnus grumbled, rolling his eyes. “I can lend you my memories of Monaco later, the point is, do you have a backup of the antidote formula?” 

“What do you take me for, Junior, some kind of amateur?” Ragnor retorted, heaving himself up to a sitting position. 

“Where is it?” Izzy asked, sitting down next to him. 

“If it was to save Alec, then I suppose I can’t begrudge it.” Ragnor sighed. “Alright, I’ll go and fetch it. It’ll be an awful headache to get it back from her, especially after the nastiness with Magnus…” He mumbled, wandering off into the library. Izzy sat down next to Clary.

“See what I mean? Melodramatic.” Magnus whispered.

“I can see where you get your flair from, that’s for sure.” Clary smiled, bouncing her knee impatiently. 

A loud yell made the three of them jump to their feet, Magnus crossing the room before Izzy and Clary could blink. As he burst into the room, he let out a soft cry of his own, his eyes falling first to Ragnor, lying on the floor, and then to the shax demon ambling towards him. With a quick blast of magic, Magnus dispatched it, rushing to Ragnor’s side.

Clary and Izzy checked the rest of the library for demons as Magnus desperately tried to heal Ragnor’s wounds, but the older warlock put shaking hands up to stop him. 

“It’s no use, Magnus,” Ragnor whispered, his breath rattling in his chest. Magnus felt tears spring to his eyes. Ragnor never used his first name. It was always Bane, or Junior, or, when he was feeling particularly affectionate, Incorrigible Brat. He hadn’t heard his own name pass Ragnor’s lips in centuries. “It’s… It’s quite alright.” 

“No, it’s not,” Magnus choked, putting his hand over the wound in Ragnor’s neck to stop the bleeding, but his heart was quickly failing. 

Ragnor coughed, a dribble of blood escaping the corner of his mouth. “Be a g-good boy and let me go… Won’t you?” 

Magnus shook his head, pressing harder on the wound. Ragnor sighed, and his head rolled to the side. “No!” Magnus shouted, making Clary jump. Izzy ran back over to him, her hand on his shoulder.

“Magnus, I’m so sorry.” 

Magnus felt it, the moment Ragnor’s magic faded to nothing, and he sobbed, dropping his head to Ragnor’s chest. “You can’t, you can’t.” 

Clary and Izzy looked at each other, eyes wide. Izzy was floored; a shax demon should not have been able to get the jump on a warlock as great as Ragnor Fell. He must have been so distracted by their presence that he totally missed the demonic presence in the house. Izzy didn’t know what to say, so she just stroked Magnus’ back as he cried over his friend’s prone body. 

“You two,” Magnus sat up, heaving in a deep breath, “have to go. There’ll be more demons on the way. I’ll magick all of Ragnor’s belongings to my loft,” he sniffed, collecting himself.

Clary dropped to her knees on the other side of Ragnor’s body. “We won’t leave you, Magnus, you just-” 

“Leave me to take care of my friend.” Magnus insisted, his tone leaving no room for argument. He summoned a portal and Izzy pulled Clary up. 

“Warlocks have a very private set of rites when one of them dies, Clary,” Izzy told her, gesturing to the portal. “He needs space.” 

The two women disappeared through the portal, and Magnus started to weep again, pressing his forehead to Ragnor’s.

“Oh, thank goodness, they’re gone.”

Magnus sat up straight, all the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as he turned to see Ragnor peeking out from behind a bookshelf. Magnus felt the older man’s magic come rushing back all at once, and leapt to his feet.

“What…? You died. I just watched you die.” He glancing around, and sure enough, the corpse that Magnus had thought was Ragnor had disappeared.

“There are some aspects of magic that are still a mystery to you, Junior.” Ragnor smiled, coming out from his hiding place.

Magnus smacked him on the chest, fresh tears filling his eyes. “How could you do that to me?!”

“Well, I had to make the shadowhunters believe I was dead, and if you hadn’t been here to sell it they’d have tried taking the body through a portal, and I don’t think the illusion would have held up. Apologies for the… Inconvenience.” Ragnor smiled sheepishly.

“Inconvenience?!” Magnus yelped, smacking him again. “I hate you!” 

“Evidently not,” Ragnor put his hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “I’m fine, Junior. The situation with me is more dire than you can imagine, I really had no choice. Both Valentine and the Clave are hunting me.” 

“Why is the Clave hunting you?” Magnus asked, taking the handkerchief Ragnor offered him to wipe his face. 

Ragnor sighed, turning away. “Apparently they’ve decided that I’m responsible for magically brainwashing the shadowhunter children that I taught. That I’m the reason why Alec and Izzy’s generation is causing so much trouble. They want me tried for illicit use of magic and treason. You know what that means if they catch me.”

“And you couldn’t have told me what your plan was before dying violently in my arms?!”

“I couldn’t risk a fire message!”

Magnus glared at him, though he knew that Ragnor was right. “So what’s your plan now, hmm? Stay here and hope no-one drops by?” 

“Well I was rather banking on staying with you until I find a new residence.” Ragnor admitted, “though if that’s too much for you I could understand.” 

“No,” Magnus answered, “I’m not letting you out of my sight for the forseeable future.” 

Ragnor smiled, and clapped Magnus on the back. “I knew I could count on you.” He conjured a portal, and stepped through. Magnus looked around, frowning, and followed.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Magnus asked. “We need the antidote to Jocelyn’s potion.” 

“Ah, yes. Well…” Ragnor waved his hand, four suitcases appearing behind him. “About that. It’s written in the Book of the White.”

Magnus nodded, levitating Ragnor’s cases and taking them into the guest room. “And?” 

“And… Camille borrowed it. And you know what she’s like with borrowing things…” 

“You gave the most powerful spell book in the world to Camille?! Have you lost your pale green mind?!” Magnus could feel a headache coming on. 

Ragnor tutted at him. “Well, it was before I knew what an evil little wretch she was, of course. It was when the two of you were still together and you were intent on hiding what an abusive little cow she was. Still, nothing to be done about it now. Just send Raphael to get it from her, I’m sure he won’t mind. Such a sweet boy. How is he, anyway?” 

“I wouldn’t describe Raphael as sweet,” Magnus said dryly. “But he’s doing fine. Great, even. He overthrew Camille, he’s running the Hotel DuMort. I have no idea what he did with Camille, but I can’t see him giving her up easily. She’s caused havoc for the clan, she turned Clary’s best friend without his consent, so that opened a whole can of worms. God, Ragnor, I really could have used you the last few months, you know that?” 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you as much as I should have, Junior. But I would have been even less use to you dead.” Ragnor pointed out, taking a seat on the sofa and patting the space next to him. “Now, come and tell me all about this person who’s gotten you heartbroken again.” 

Magnus’ shoulders slumped. “I’m not a child anymore, Ragnor.”

“And yet you still give your heart away as freely as you did when I first met you..”

With a sigh, Magnus sat next to the other man. “It’s Alec. Lightwood.” 

“But he’s a shadowhunter.” Ragnor frowned, “how in the blazes did that happen?” 

“I wish I knew,” Magnus snorted, leaning heavily against his friend, “when we met, he looked at me with such… Helpless wonder. It’s been so long since anyone’s looked at me like that. And then I found out how open and good his heart is, and how fiercely he loves his sister, how loyal he is to justice rather than to the Clave. He’s brave, and kind, and totally, utterly unavailable. How could I not fall for him?” 

Ragnor gave Magnus a little squeeze. “Has he given any indication that he feels the same way?” 

“I know he does, that’s the worst part,” Magnus explained. “But of course, it’s even more complicated for him than it is for your average shadowhunter; he’s gay and trans and the eldest of his family. And Izzy’s dating Clary, so he feels like he has to make a good match to keep her safe. So he’s determined to marry some silly Clave puppet. And there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

“I can’t imagine Maryse and Robert would be too happy about him dating a downworlder, male or otherwise.” 

“Exactly. I set myself up to get hurt… Again.” Magnus huffed, “you’d think I’d learn after 450 years.” 

Ragnor smiled. “You have always been a romantic, Bane, even when you were a young man fresh from the depths of hell. From the very moment I met you, a twenty-three year old, beaten down and taught to kill and torture, and yet still so desperate to be loved, I knew that no matter how hard I tried to protect you from people like your father and Camille, people would bruise you with false promises and pretty words. But that’s all they are, Junior. Bruises. And bruises heal.” 

“This time it’s different,” Magnus shook his head, turning to face Ragnor. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone in decades. Not since Camille. I just feel in my gut that there’s something destined here. And he’s actually… Good. He’s a good man. I just know that there’s something tangible between us, something that could work.”

“Then fight for him.” 

Magnus blinked in surprise. “I have.” 

“Have you?” Ragnor prodded. “Can you say with conviction that you’ve done absolutely everything you could to make him understand how serious you are about him? Because I knew Alec quite well when he was a boy, right up until he left the academy at eighteen. And I know that he has the strength to defy the Clave and his parents. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again, if he thinks the fight is worth it.” 

“So he doesn’t think I’m worth it?” Magnus asked, his heart sinking.

“Think about it critically, Junior. Alec barely knows you, and your reputation in the Clave is that you’re a playful siren. After all that business with Will, do you think your file is particularly complimentary? There’s a good chance that Alec thinks you’re just flirting with him, that you’re not in it for the long-term. Shadowhunters fall in love for life; he won’t undertake a romantic relationship lightly. Have you told him how you really feel? How deeply you feel it?”

Magnus pressed his lips together. “I’ve told him I care for him. But I don’t suppose I’ve really said that I want a relationship with him. Not really. God, you don’t think he thinks I just want to sleep with him, do you?” 

“I’m sure he doesn’t think that,” Ragnor assured him. “But it wouldn’t hurt to lay it all out, would it?” 

“You’re right. I hate that you’re always right.” Magnus grouched, crossing his legs. “Now, do you want whiskey or port?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec tossed and turned for hours that night. Izzy and Clary had come back looked haggard and drained, and at first they hadn’t wanted to tell him about Ragnor, but he got it out of them eventually. He couldn’t imagine what Magnus was going through; Ragnor’s file had mentioned that he’d basically adopted Magnus when he was a young man, which meant they’d been close for over four hundred years. Alec could barely fathom losing Izzy, let alone someone he’d known twenty times that long. It took everything in him not to run to the loft to comfort the other man, but Izzy’s insistence that Magnus wanted space helped with that. He’d texted both Magnus and Cat his condolences anyway, and gotten brief thank yous in reply. Cat had entreated him not to worry about them, reminding him that he needed to go into the surgery with no stress. 

It was easier said than done when the man you loved was hurting so much.

Alec sat up in bed, eyes wide, hair askew.

Loved?

He switched on his bedside light, and shuffled up so he was sitting with his back against the headboard. Did he really love Magnus? They’d only known each other for a month, they’d spent only a few hours alone together in all that time. Was that really enough for Alec to fall in love? 

Like any man his age, he pulled his ipad into his lap and turned to Google. 

The first page that came up was Cosmo, and he dismissed that out of hand. He’d heard Izzy ranting about how shitty that magazine was one too many times. Next down was a quiz on a dating site, and Alec shrugged, clicking on it. 

“How to tell if it’s love or infatuation. Huh.” Alec muttered. He glanced at the clock. He had to be at the hospital in nine hours. He’d survived on four hours’ sleep before now; he’d be fine. “Alright, let’s do this. Number one,” he read, “when asked to list your partner’s flaws you…” 

There were three choices, and he picked the one that said ‘can think of some small things.’ Magnus was a little alienating at times, though Alec had come to learn that it was part of a facade to keep people at arms’ length. He was pushy, and sometimes he was rude. But it never ceased to make Alec smile when Magnus cursed people out. 

“God, I’m so fucked,” Alec hissed, clicking onto the next page.

Most of the questions were easy, and he tried not to think about the individual answers too much. When he finished, the site had to calculate the result, which seemed to take a goddamn eternity. Alec bit his lip when he saw that according to his answers, he was in love. It wasn’t even a surprise.

There was only one thing to do. 

Throwing on a jumper, Alec let himself out of his room and padded next door. When he knocked on Izzy’s door, she answered it straight away, grinning at him for a moment before yelping and slamming it shut in his face. 

His little baby sister had been wearing lingerie. 

Alec turned to leave, but then Izzy opened the door again and yanked him into her room. “What the hell was that?!” Alec whisper yelled, shuddering with disgust.

“I thought you were Clary!” Izzy hissed back, now wearing a silk robe. “We were texting!” 

“Can’t you have sex in real life like normal people?!” 

Izzy glowered at him. “We’re holding out for the right time,” she insisted. “Now, why are you awake? You have surgery in like ten hours!” 

“Oh. Right.” Alec scratched the back of his head. “Alright, I’m just gonna say it. I love Magnus.” 

For a moment, Izzy looked at him expectantly, her eyebrow quirking when she realised that Alec was done speaking. “Right. And?” 

“What do you mean and? That’s the whole reason I’m here!” 

“You’ve only now realised that you love Magnus?” Izzy asked slowly.

Alec nodded. “Why? How long have you known?” 

“How long have you known him again?” 

“A month.” 

“Like three and a half weeks, probably.” Izzy shrugged, and Alec glared at her. “Oh, come on! You’re Alec, you don’t get passing crushes. Remember at the academy, that boy who picked up your stele and handed it back to you that one time? You were like obsessed with him for-”

“Okay, I get it!” Alec sighed. “So what do I do about it?” 

Izzy sat down on the edge of her bed. “You really wanna know?” 

Alec nodded, putting his hands behind his back and knotting them together.

“You ask him out, marry him, have his adopted babies and live happily ever after.” 

“Come on, I’m seriously asking for your advice here.” Alec grumbled, and Izzy sighed, looking up at him. “I can’t do that. I have to-”

“Alright, let me put this another way, big brother.” Izzy tried, “how about we just do something wild, like live for ourselves instead of living for the Clave? I’ve been through a deruning trial, and honestly? The only thing I was scared to lose was you. And even if I had been deruned, I knew deep down that you would never have abandoned me. So… What do we have to fear? Really?” 

Alec sat down next to her on the bed. “It’s our responsibility to protect downworlders.” 

“That’s true.” Izzy allowed, “but even if we got deruned, we could still work to protect downworlders. Give the pack legal advice, help the warlocks maintain order, liaise with the vampires… There’s no one way to make change, Alec. The two of us would figure it out.” 

“What about my transition? My medical bills?” 

Izzy smirked, nudging him teasingly. “I don’t know if you noticed, but Magnus is the epitome of sugar daddy.” 

Alec blanched. “Never, ever say that again.” 

“Oh, come on,” Izzy giggled, “like you hadn’t noticed how sophisticated and sexy he is?” 

“Shut up,” Alec grumbled, his cheeks hot. 

“Seriously, though, there’s no way Magnus would let you lose your prescription. He cares about you.” 

Alec nodded, rubbing his knees. “So the next time I see him, I should just…”

“Run up to him and kiss him.” 

“Tell him how I feel. Ask him out.” Alec corrected her. “God, if I think about kissing him I won’t think of anything else. And I want to do this right, I don’t want to just rush in dick first. I want to… Well, I don’t want to wait. But I don’t want to rush, either.”

Izzy hummed, looking at her bedroom door. “I know the feeling.”

“I should get some sleep,” Alec said quietly, getting up from the bed. “Got a big day tomorrow.”

As he let himself out of Izzy’s room, he almost walked into Hodge, who looked like he was dressed for a mission. Hodge nodded at him, and went to push past him, but Alec held out his hand to grab the other man’s waist. 

“What are you doing?” 

Hodge looked around to see if there were any witnesses, and stepped a little closer to Alec. “You can’t tell anyone.” 

Alec shrugged.

“I’m meeting Raj in the grounds. We’ve been… Talking.” Hodge whispered, worrying his lower lip. “You get it, don’t you? No-one can know.” 

“Raj? Really?” Alec quirked his eyebrow. “Of course, man, your secret’s safe with me. Have fun.” He smiled slightly, a little confused, but he let Hodge go. He’d never, not for a moment, clocked a queer vibe from either Hodge or Raj, but then Alec hadn’t met many cis gay men who’d be okay with his… Situation. He let himself back into his room, shoulders heavy with exhaustion, and put himself to bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maryse hadn’t woken Alec up herself since he was a child. 

She stood over his bed, watching him sleep for a moment. Just one more second, she promised herself, her eyes drinking in the sight of him relaxed and at peace. There were nervous butterflies in her stomach, and she sent up the fourth prayer of the day to the angel, a prayer that she was doing the right thing. That this would make Alec happy. This was what people like him were meant to do. This is what had to happen for Alec to have a normal, happy life. A productive life. 

Despite all of her inner coaxing, there was still a part of her that niggled, telling her that she was overlooking something. She was missing something, there was something that wasn’t right. 

“Mom?” Alec groaned, squinting up at her. 

Maryse smiled down at him, bending to stroke his hair back from his face. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” 

“Weirded out that you’re watching me sleep,” Alec answered, forcing himself up to a sitting position. “What’s going on?” 

“I thought it would be nice to have a moment alone before the madness descends.” Maryse explained. “I… I just want to make sure. Just once. You want this, don’t you, Alec? This is what you want?” 

Alec rubbed at his eyes, frowning. “That didn’t seem to matter before. This is what I have to do.” 

“Yes, well…” Maryse looked away, pursing her lips. “That was before. So I’m asking you, do you want this?” 

“Yeah,” Alec admitted, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I do, mother. I promise. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open.” 

Maryse nodded, and got up, brushing down her business suit. “Well, then, up you get. Would you like a glass of water?” 

Alec sighed, running his hand through his hair. He hadn’t expected his mother to get cold feet, but the situation with Valentine and the Clave had everyone on edge, he supposed. “Yeah, that’d be great.” 

It was odd, the idea that this was the last time that he’d ever put on his binder. He looked at himself in the mirror for a long moment, running his hands up and down his binded chest. It didn’t feel real. He didn’t feel excited, exactly. Mostly he was dreading being stuck in bed for a week, and the post-surgery depression that Cat had warned him about. 

A few minutes later, Maryse came back with a glass of water and Izzy hot on her heels. Alec pulled a t-shirt on over his binder and took the glass from his mother, drinking half of it in one so he didn’t have to break the slightly awkward silence in the bedroom. Izzy rushed forwards to give him a hug, resting her chin on his sternum to look up at him. 

“I’m so proud of you for going after what you want. You know that, don’t you?” She said softly.

“Can we not act like I’m going to my death,” Alec huffed, though he squeezed her tightly. 

Izzy grinned, and pulled back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec was grateful that he didn’t have to greet the Clave delegates at the hospital, but it was unnerving being alone in a room meant for four beds, with six or seven middle aged cis men muttering together, shooting him nervous glances as Cat took his bloods and checked his vitals. Maryse was trying to placate them, though she looked more unnerved than they did. Catarina didn’t seem phased, ignoring them completely as she worked, and Alec kept his eyes fixed on her. 

“You feeling alright?” Cat checked, pumping the blood pressure cuff closed on his arm. 

“I wish people would stop asking me that.” Alec grumbled. 

Cat laughed, shaking her head. “Sorry.” 

“I should be asking you if you’re alright.” Alec pointed out, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Catarina.” 

“He lived a good, long life,” Cat replied, shrugging one shoulder. “He was ready to go. It is what it is.”

“Are his readings good?” Izzy asked, wringing her hands together where she stood next to his bedside. 

“They’re perfect.” Cat smiled, “you did a good job at avoiding stress, well done.” 

Alec returned her smile, leaning back into the pillow as she reached for the IV, pulling it towards them. He chose not to look as she hooked him up to it, wrinkling his nose and fixing his eyes on the door.

Magnus was standing there, watching.

He could have been standing there for ages, or he could have just arrived, but all Alec could think was that he looked devastating. He was wearing a purple velvet jacket with a black shirt, pressed to perfection. His hair was all done up, his make-up dark and sultry, and in his hand was a beautiful bouquet of flowers that matched his jacket and highlights perfectly. Alec opened his mouth to say something, but his voice died in his throat as Magnus stepped forward, intent clear on his face.

The Clave representatives were shocked into silence, as was everyone aside from Maryse, who rushed forwards to meet Magnus halfway. “Leave this place, warlock. You are not needed here.” She hissed at him, but Magnus held up his hand. 

“Maryse, this is between me and your son. I’ll leave if he asks me to.” He gritted out, and Alec’s heart stuttered in his chest. Magnus lifted his eyes to meet Alec’s, swallowing hard.

“Alec?” Izzy asked, “are you alright?” 

“I-I…” Alec’s mouth was so dry, his eyes unblinkingly staring at Magnus. “Wh-?” 

“I just wanted you to know…” Magnus squared his shoulders, stepping closer to the bed. “I’m going to be here for you forever. Forever, Alexander. Because I think I’m damned close to falling in love with you. And… I just wanted you to know. No matter what surgeries you get, or don’t get, or what you decide to do with your life, no matter what you say. I’m here. Right here.”

Alec was still for a beat, everyone in the room staring at him, looking for his reaction. He slowly got up from the bed, plucking the IV out of his hand as Cat and Izzy moved aside, speechless. Magnus looked almost afraid as Alec stepped towards him, but the moment was broken by Maryse putting her hand on Alec’s shoulder.

“Alec, think about what you’re-”

“Enough.” Alec gritted out, shrugging off her hand and closing the distance between himself and Magnus. There was a split second where they stood there, looking at each other, all the eyes in the room on them and the space between their lips, waiting for Alec to make a choice.

For Alec, there was nothing he could do, nothing, but grasp the lapels of Magnus’ beautiful jacket and pull him into a kiss. Magnus made a soft noise of surprise, but his hands quickly flew up to the sides of Alec’s neck, holding him as their lips moved together. Alec’s mind was blissfully blank, relaxing into it, one arm looping around Magnus’ waist and pulling him closer. At the sound of another wounded noise from the back of Magnus’ throat, Alec pulled back, grinning breathlessly as Magnus chased his lips. 

“You…” Magnus cleared his throat, eyes darting all over Alec’s face. “You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.”

Alec bit his lip, knowing that if he didn’t the force of his smile would break his face. All of a sudden, the voices whispering around them reached his ears, and his eyes widened a little, mouth falling open. “What did I just do?” 

“What is the meaning of this… This display, Maryse?!” Consul Malachi sneered, “are you mocking us?! Are you mocking my granddaughter?!” 

Maryse shook her head, eyes bugging out. “N-no, Consul, no, of course not. No…” 

The Clave representatives followed Malachi as he stormed out of the room, and Maryse followed them, desperately trying to placate them. Alec watched them go, breathless from the most confusing mix of anxiety and elation. He felt Magnus’ hand wrap around his own, and squeezed it lightly.

“Alec!” Izzy appeared in front of them, cheeks flushed and eyes bright with unshed tears. “I am so proud of you.”

“That was maybe the most romantic thing I’ve seen in centuries.” Catarina agreed, letting Magnus pull her into a hug. “You’ve still got it in you, huh?” 

Magnus shrugged, torn between smiling at her and Alec. “I didn’t expect the audience, but… Oh.” He noticed, finally, that he’d dropped the flowers he’d gotten for Alec, and bent to pick them up. Izzy’s phone beeped, and she fished it out of her pocket.

Alec laughed, running his hands through his hair as Magnus presented them to him. “Fuck. That just happened.” 

“Yes, it did.” Magnus nodded, licking his lips, which were still tingling a little. “And now you’re going to climb back into that bed and let the rest of us look after you.” 

“What about my mother?” Alec asked, looking at the door where Maryse and the others had made their hasty exit. 

Izzy held out her phone to Alec with a grim look on her face. “Mom’s the least of our worries right now.” 

Clary: LYDIA JUST TRIED TO TAKE THE MORTAL CUP BACK TO IDRIS AND IT’S GONE.

“How can it be gone?!” Alec demanded, taking the phone from Izzy’s hand and calling Clary. “Well, where is it?!”

“Alec, you’re having surgery, let me and Izzy deal with this.” Clary entreated him.

“Uh, I think the fuck not. If the Mortal Cup is missing then we need to find it. Surgery can wait.” He covered the mouthpiece for a moment, looking at Catarina. “Surgery can wait, right?”

Cat nodded, squeezing his arm. “There’s no way your blood pressure is low enough right now. Thanks to a certain someone,” she glared playfully at Magnus, who toyed with his ear cuff sheepishly, “you’re too worked up for this. It was already going to be tricky to keep the balance between angel blood and mundane blood. So… Go save the world, kiddo. Surgery can wait.” 

“Surgery can wait,” Alec repeated into the phone, “we’ll be there as soon as possible.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment that Alec, Izzy and Magnus got back to the institute, it was clear that Lydia’s leadership had failed miserably. Everyone was rushing around with no particular direction, checking every nook and cranny of the institute like the Mortal Cup had simply rolled under someone’s bed. Magnus felt a stirring of admiration as he watched Alec transform right in front of him, from surgery patient to leader. Alec’s spine straightened, his chin lifted, his eyes lit up with authoritative pride. He called out for everyone to stop, and every single person froze in their tracks.

“What on Earth is going on?” He demanded, “I want you all to take a deep breath. Get to your stations and start combing through the security tapes. Izzy, take the day Clary returned. Clary, take the day after. Lydia, assign everyone a day to check. It’s been almost ten days since the cup was handed over. The cameras must have caught something. Raj,” he pointed at the shadowhunter, gesturing for him to come over.

“Actually, I have something to brief Clary and Izzy on,” Magnus admitted, “can I steal them for a few moments?” 

Alec nodded. “Lydia! Clary and Izzy are with Magnus, reassign their days.” 

“Got it.” She confirmed, turning to the dozen or so shadowhunters who’d assembled in front of her, seemingly relieved that Alec had taken over. Perhaps she was more of a soldier than a leader, after all. 

“What do you need me for?” Raj asked, his hands on his hips. As Magnus walked away to talk to Clary and Izzy, Alec pulled Raj aside. 

“Did you see anything last night?” 

Raj’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? Why would I have seen anything?” 

“This isn’t the time to worry about your reputation, Raj, I know about you and Hodge. Your secret’s safe with me.” Alec promised, folding his arms.

“Alec, what the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You… You and Hodge met up last night, in the grounds? Right?” Alec asked slowly, dread creeping into his chest.

Raj snorted. “What?! Me and Starkweather? In his dreams!” 

Alec grasped Raj’s arms tightly, looking him in the eye. “Do you swear to me that you and Hodge aren’t having an affair? It’s important, Raj. Please.” 

“I swear!” 

“Fuck! Everyone!” Alec wheeled around, “it’s Hodge. Hodge stole the cup. Has anyone seen Hodge since last night?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I managed to figure out what Ragnor was looking for.” Magnus explained, leaning on the table in front of him. “The antidote recipe is in the Book of the White. Ragnor was looking for this,” he held up a fabric bookmark, “he had it in his pocket. I assume he was going to track the owner with it.” 

“Have you tracked the owner?” Clary asked, and Magnus nodded.

“It’s Camille. The vampire who turned Simon.” 

Clary groaned. “She just keeps popping up.” 

“She was a very popular part of downworlder society before her fall,” Magnus shrugged, “but the point is, we need to get the Book of the White from her if we want to wake your mother.” 

“Can you call Simon and ask him to talk to Raphael?” Izzy asked Clary, who nodded, already pulling out her phone. “Are you alright?” She pressed, quietly, once Clary was out of earshot.

Magnus smiled weakly. “I’ll be fine, Isabelle. It was a shock, but Ragnor’s at peace now.” Bloody bastard’s living it up in my loft, Magnus thought bitterly, guilt at lying to his shadowhunter friends twisting in his stomach. “Besides… I have something a lot more pleasant to focus on now.” 

“I’ll say,” Izzy grinned, elbowing him in the ribs. “That was one hell of a moment, back there. I had goosebumps.” 

“So did I,” Magnus admitted, eyes glazing over a little at the memory of the kiss. 

“Simon said he’d talk to Raphael about questioning Camille,” Clary reported, flicking her hair over her shoulder and looking between Magnus and Izzy’s smiles. “Did I miss something here?” 

“Magnus and Alec kissed at the hospital in front of my mom and the Clave. It was brilliant.” Izzy beamed, and Clary laughed in disbelief. 

“Wow. I wish I’d been there. I’m so happy for you, Magnus.” 

“Hopefully there’ll be more desperate dramatic kisses in our future,” Magnus smirked, “I’m sure you’ll catch one of them. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d rather not be involved in this Camille business. We have an unpleasant history.” 

“Of course, Magnus. You’ve done plenty already,” Izzy assured him, “go and find Alec.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec was in the office, Lydia sitting in the chair behind the desk as Alec perched next to her, watching the security footage of Hodge taking the cup. Magnus knocked on the door, letting himself in when Lydia called. 

“Any luck?” He asked, and Alec nodded. 

“It was Hodge. I saw him last night, he must have had the cup. I’m such an idiot, I could have stopped him…” Alec sighed, scratching his forehead. 

“He would have killed you, Alec, you weren’t armed,” Lydia pointed out, her eyes still on the screen in front of them. “He must have had help to get through the outer wards with that punishment rune active. I’ll keep combing through the footage with the others. I think…” She sighed, getting up from the chair. “I think this is your office again now, Alec.” 

Alec didn’t really know what to say. “Thank you.” 

“I think it’s become quite clear that I’m not ready to lead an institute by myself,” she shrugged, glancing at Magnus. “And perhaps I still have a few things to learn about being a shadowhunter.” 

“It’s decent of you to admit that,” Magnus offered.

“Nothing more than common sense,” Lydia insisted, smiling at Alec a little longingly as she lingered in the doorway.

“I’m sure you’ll be a good leader with a few years’ experience working with downworlders rather than against them.” Alec told her, and she pressed her lips together, hesitating a moment before slipping out. 

Once the door clicked shut behind her, Magnus crossed the room to Alec’s side, knotting his hands together behind his back. “So…” 

Alec looked up from the screen, smiling a little. “So…?” 

“You don’t regret it, do you? Kissing me in front of your mom and all those people? It was…” 

“Great? Iconic? Impulsive? Terrifying? Wonderful? All of the above?” Alec smiled, spinning his chair around so Magnus was stood between his legs. “I don’t regret a second of it. I only regret I didn’t get my head out of my ass sooner.” 

Magnus smiled. “Good.” 

“So, uh… You wanna get a drink sometime?” Alec asked tentatively, getting to his feet and winding his hand into Magnus’. 

“I’d like that, yes.” 

“What have you done, Alec?!” Maryse burst into the room, wild eyed with rage and tears. “To us?! This family?!”

Alec jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice, but collected himself quickly, stepping around Magnus. “This isn’t about you.” 

“You are lucky that your father is busy trying to smooth things over with the Consul, because he was intent on coming here and beating you black and blue!” She shouted, her voice breaking in the middle. “You humiliated us in front of the most respected members of the Clave. You humiliated him. Why? Why would you do this to us? After everything we’ve done for you, the allowances we’ve made-”

“Let him try and hit me,” Alec snarled, “I’ll be ready for him this time.” 

“What do you-” Maryse stopped short, the anger fading from her face, “What are you talking about?” 

Alec snorted, putting his hands on his hips. “He threatened me before he left, shoved me around. Said if I didn’t do what he said, he’d have me deruned and killed. Said he had another son that wasn’t broken.” 

“He said he’d have you killed?” Maryse asked quietly, sniffing back tears. “Why did you do this? Why did you go against him?” 

“Because this is what I want.” Alec answered. “I’ve done what you want for a long time. I’ve done my duty. And the Clave still hate me. They will always hate me, Mom, there’s nothing either of us can do about that. So I may as well be fucking happy. And this man,” he pointed at Magnus, “makes me happier than anything else in the world. Doesn’t that count for something?!”

“The angels didn’t create us to be happy, Alec.” 

“I don’t care.” Alec sighed, shaking his head. “I just don’t care. I’m tired. I’m exhausted, actually. I’m not living my life your way or anybody else’s. I’m living it mine.” 

Maryse shook her head. “I don’t even recognise you anymore.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“And all,” Maryse’s voice caught in her throat as her eyes fell on Magnus, “for a downworlder.” 

Magnus pursed his lips, averting his eyes from her before he said something that would make the situation worse. 

“If you just got to know him…” Alec started, reaching out for her, but she was already gone, running from the room with her hand pressed to her mouth. “Well…” He turned to face Magnus, “that was… Not as bad as it could’ve been.” 

“I’m sorry that they’re like that.” Magnus said, “you deserve better.” 

“I know. I have Izzy,” Alec shrugged, wrapping his arms around himself. “That’s enough. I just don’t know what I’m going to do about hormones.” 

Magnus smiled. “You know, I’ve been brewing hormone potions for decades. I have quite a few trans clients. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“No needles?” Alec asked before he could think better of it, and Magnus grinned.

“Don’t tell me big, strong shadowhunter, Alexander Lightwood, is scared of injections?” 

“Not scared. Just… Well, they’re not fun.” 

“Alright, I’ll grant you that,” Magnus conceded, “not that I’d know. I’m not sure I’ve ever been on the pointy end of a needle.” 

“What, no weird kinky roleplay with Florence Nightingale?” Alec teased.

Magnus threw back his head and laughed, and Alec watched him with an expression almost identical to a stray puppy that had just been rescued from the pound. “Surprisingly, no, no kinky encounters with Florence Nightingale. Freud, on the other hand…”

“God,” Alec groaned, snorting so hard that it hurt his nose. “I know enough about that guy not to ask.” 

“Of course Ragnor taught you about Freud, old pervert,” Magnus grinned, shaking his head. “I’ll be sure to tease him about that next time I-” His sentence died in his throat, and he looked at Alec, who looked tentatively sympathetic. “Never mind.”

Alec pulled him into a hug, and Magnus sighed, pressing his cheek into the other man’s neck. “For the record,” he mumbled into Magnus’ hair, “I’ll be here for you, too. I didn’t get to say it before, but…” Alec put a little distance between them, enough that he could see Magnus’ eyes. “I’ll support you in any way I can, whenever I can. I’m not wise, not like you, I don’t know what magic words to use to make you feel better like you always do for me, but I’ll do whatever you need me to. I promise.”

Magnus smiled, cupping Alec’s cheek. “You’re wise, Alexander.” 

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Alec grumbled, though he leaned into Magnus’ touch. “I had to take a fucking online quiz to figure out if I liked you.” 

“And yet that only makes me like you more.” Magnus admitted. 

Alec sighed, smiling slightly. “Yeah?” 

“Honestly after that kiss… You could tell me damn near anything and I’d find some way to make it an attractive quality.”

“It was, um…” Alec nodded, putting his hands on Magnus’ hips, “it was good.” 

Magnus smiled, rocking up on his toes a little in anticipation. “Do you think there’ll be a repeat performance?” 

“Oh, I think so.” Alec whispered, leaning in to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dON'T CARE, RAGNOR IS ALIVE OKAY?
> 
> I refuse to accept that Ragnor Fell could be killed by a shitty little shax demon and I'll always hate the showrunners for just ending him like that, damn. 
> 
> Last chapter's out in two weeks!


	13. Episode 13: Morning Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GANG, WE MADE IT!!! This is the last chapter of the season! I do plan to continue, but it'll be posted as a different fic called *drum roll* SCRAMBLING FOR PURCHASE. 
> 
> I'm not sure when I'm going to begin posting it - I'd recommend subscribing to this series because then hopefully you'll get an email telling you when I post it. Hopefully it'll be in around six weeks - I want to have a few chapters under my belt before I start posting.
> 
> Now, onto the trigger warnings!!
> 
> Anxiety/fear: Simon has to come face to face with Camille, who obviously killed him. Additionally, Magnus is very anxious around Camille, and it’s clear that he bears some emotional scars from his time with her. Clary sort of switches off from anxiety in the last section of the chapter because of the fight with Valentine and his shadowhunters. Alec also experiences some anxiety, but is distracted from it by Magnus.
> 
> Violence: Camille lashes out at Raphael and knocks him unconscious. Alec beats the ever loving shit out of Hodge, which is immensely satisfying. There’s a fight scene towards the end that has some mild gore including tongues being bitten out and achilles tendons being severed, but none of our heroes get injured too badly, so all is well. There’s some violence between Izzy and Valentine as well, but nothing too severe.
> 
> Emotional abuse: Camille employs several tactics to break Magnus down, including body shaming, belittling his feelings, gaslighting and slut shaming him. Magnus is upset by it but not devastated. Camille also tries to tear Alec down but he shrugs it off. Valentine tries to get inside Clary’s head by insinuating that they’re the same kind of person, while simultaneously insulting her ability by referencing Ragnor and Simon’s death.
> 
> Sexual Assault: Camille kisses Magnus against his will, and pierces his lip with her fangs. Magnus is almost immediately reassured by Alec after this happens.
> 
> References to racism: Alec and Magnus talk about how shitty the shadowhunters used to be in centuries gone past. It’s canon-typical but it’s there.
> 
> Sexual tension: Nothing happens but Magnus and Alec have a Moment™ in the third to last scene.

Raj had been walking around the city for hours. He’d been on worse missions, but there was nothing as mind-numbingly boring as wandering aimlessly around a ten block radius looking for a fugitive. This morning he’d spotted this deli that made his mouth water every time he passed it, the smell of sourdough and cured meat making his stomach rumble. He’d promised himself a break at 1pm, and when he just happened to walk past the deli at 12.53, he shrugged and decided it was close enough. 

The last hour of his patrol he’d been considering what he’d order, so he already had ‘pesto ciabatta with salami and prosciutto’ on the tip of his tongue, but then he saw this huge crusty loaf come fresh out onto the display shelf and he had to start from square one all over again. As he weighed his options, he glanced out the window.

His eyes met the pale blue ones of Hodge Starkweather, who was standing looking in through the window. 

Hodge ran for it, and Raj grunted, abandoning his place in the queue as he stumbled out the door to sprint after the traitor. “Fuck you, man! Fuck you!” Raj shouted, activating his speed rune.

As Hodge skidded around a corner, Raj pulled out his phone to call Alec, stopping in his tracks as he turned the corner after Hodge and found himself standing in a dead end. Raj groaned, letting his head tip back as Alec answered the phone.

“Report?” Alec asked, and Raj sighed.

“I saw Hodge. He was headed west, nearing the park. I almost had him, but he disappeared in a dead-end alley. Guessing he infiltrated a mundane’s home and got out the back.” Raj explained, running his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lightwood. I fucked it.” 

Alec sighed. “It’s alright, you did all you could. I’m calling in the wolves to help us,there’s no way we can track him through the city with the manpower we have. Get up on the roof and see if you can find him, keep me updated. Well done spotting him, at least we have a lead now.”

“Just doing my job.” Raj answered, and after a brief goodbye, hung up. He kicked the wall next to him, embarrassment making him want to scream. First Hodge uses his sexuality, which he’d stupidly revealed on a night out to the Hunter’s Moon, as a way to con his way past Alec, and now he just let him slip away through his fingers. He wouldn’t be surprised if Alec sent him back to the academy for this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, everyone. Here’s what we’re going to do.” Alec raised his voice to get everyone’s attention, standing at the front of the ops centre with his hands behind his back. “Raj spotted Hodge just east of the park, heading west. We could try and predict where he’s going, but Hodge is clever, he was most likely taking a route to throw Raj off. I’m going to liase with Luke Garroway of the New York pack, he’s promised us the help of the wolves. Lydia, I want you to stay here and triangulate communication. I need to know of any new developments, I’ll instruct everyone to report to you every half hour, it’ll be in your discretion to keep everyone updated. Anyone doesn’t report back, send back-up to check on them. Everyone else, I want you out on the streets, checking big empty spaces in the city. If Valentine’s creating an army he’s not gonna be hiding in a downtown loft. Everybody understand?” 

There was a hum of affirmation among the shadowhunters, and Alec nodded, dismissing them.

“I’m going to take Clary to the Hotel DuMort to retrieve the Book of the White,” Izzy took Alec aside the moment the attention was off him, “Camille has it. Simon’s promised us an audience with Raphael to get it back from her.”

“Don’t bother reporting to Lydia, just keep me updated. Magnus is creating portals to get our people out faster, I’m sure he won’t mind making one for you and Clary.” Alec told her, heading towards the door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Be careful, Alec. Hodge is dangerous.” Izzy insisted, and Alec shrugged.

“Always am.” 

“Did he okay us going to the Hotel DuMort?” Clary asked, appearing at Izzy’s elbow. She had daggers strapped to her thighs and a seraph blade in her hand, and if they weren’t in the middle of a crisis, it might have distracted Izzy. 

“I don’t think he even registered what I was asking, honestly, but he did, yeah. Let’s go. Is Simon in good standing with Raphael?” Izzy grabbed a wooden stake to put in her hip holster, she and Clary falling into step together as they made their way towards the entrance.

Clary shrugged sheepishly. “I’m assuming so; in all the excitement I haven’t been able to talk to him much. He sounded happy enough on the phone, though.”

Magnus was standing next to a portal that was bigger than average, monitoring the shadowhunters passing through it. He’d cast a flexible portal rather than a one-destination one; it meant less magic consumption, and he had a feeling he’d need to call on his magic a lot more before the day was done.

“How are you holding up?” Clary asked him as they approached, and he shrugged.

“I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I’m fine.” 

“Do you think you can keep it up long enough for us to use it?” Izzy checked.

Magnus held out his arm towards the portal, inviting them through just as the last shadowhunter hopped through to their assigned area. “You’re the last ones I need to transport.” 

“Thank you, Magnus,” Clary smiled at him, tugging Izzy through the portal and staggering on her feet a little as they came out the other side, right on the doorstep of the Hotel DuMort. Simon and Raphael were waiting just inside the door, out of the reach of the sun. Simon rushed forward to hug Clary once the door was shut, his face turned carefully away from her skin. Raphael and Izzy nodded at each other in greeting. 

“So you want me to let Camille go?” Raphael drawled, leading them up to a reception room. The windows were all boarded up with bricks, and it was decorated so lavishly that Clary couldn’t help but wonder if all downworlders were filthy rich. It reminded Isabelle of the tombs of the Pharaohs of Egypt, full of wonderful things but without that life-giving touch of sunlight. 

In the vampires’ case, she supposed, it would be the opposite of life-giving.

“We need to know where she hid the Book of the White,” Izzy explained, remaining standing as Raphael sat down on a hard-looking leather sofa. “No doubt she’ll want something in return for it.”

“She’ll want her freedom,” Raphael insisted, “there’s no way she’ll accept anything less. And I can’t afford to give that to her.” 

“She kills mundanes, Isabelle,” Simon reminded her, “people will die if we let her go.” 

Clary put her hands on her hips. “Can we trick her? Make her think we’re going to let her go and then recapture her?” 

“It took a hundred vampires to subdue her the last time,” Raphael pointed out. 

“We need the Book of the White to wake up my Mom.” Clary explained, pushing her hair back from her face. “She knows Valentine better than anyone, she can help us defeat him.” 

“Or she’ll just run away again and leave you all to deal with it.” Raphael replied coolly.

Simon shook his head. “Jocelyn would do anything to protect Clary. That’s the only reason why she ran before. Now Clary’s involved in the fight, she’d never abandon it. She was like my Mom, too. She’s a good woman.” He insisted.

“Can we at least talk to Camille? Maybe we can offer her a plea bargain with the Clave?” Izzy suggested.

Raphael pursed his lips, considering it. “You can speak to her. But I will not allow her to leave these walls. Not until the Clave arrests her and takes her away.”

Clary and Izzy looked at each other for a long moment. Simon glanced at Raphael, who was watching a silent communication pass between the two women. Suspicion rose in him, and he raised his chin. 

“Alright, let’s do that.” Izzy answered, “we agree to your terms.” 

Camille’s casket was so thickly covered in chains that Izzy couldn’t tell where they begun. Raphael pulled a string out from under his shirt, revealing a key that had been hanging around his neck. Clary and Izzy watched as he bent down to grasp the padlock that hung down underneath the table the casket was sitting on, and with a flick of his wrist it fell away. He and Simon moved the chains slowly off the ivory coffin, letting them drop to the ground at their feet. 

“If she makes a move to escape, do I have your permission to stake her, Raphael?” Izzy asked, her fingers wrapping around the stake at her hip. 

“I’m way ahead of you,” he admitted wryly, pulling a stake out of his back pocket. 

“Are you ready, Simon?” Clary asked, rubbing his back. 

Simon looked paler than usual, and that was saying something. “The last time I saw her was when she killed me,” he said quietly, straightening his spine. “I’m ready.” 

Raphael and Clary opened the coffin, and Izzy readied herself as the lid lifted up to reveal Simon’s sire. She’d never seen a vampire at rest before, and she was surprised to note that Camille didn’t look as dead as Izzy had expected her to. She wasn’t breathing but there was colour in her cheeks, and it was only when Izzy noticed the IV drip in her arm, attached to a blood bag strung up next to the coffin, that she understood why. 

“Keep your guard up,” Raphael urged, his eyes fixed on Camille’s still body, “she can probably hear us, she’s waiting for an opening.” 

“Let her wait forever,” Simon muttered, “I’m never relaxing around her.” 

Camille’s eyes snapped open, smirking when she saw Izzy raise her stake threateningly. “My, my, my, what on Earth do we have here?” She drawled, her dark eyes looking at each of them in turn. “Have you brought me some angel-flavoured snacks, my little caramel?” 

“They’re not snacks,” Simon snapped, his voice trembling despite himself, “and I wouldn’t bring you anything!”

“Tell us where you hid the Book of the White.” Clary demanded. 

“The what?” 

“Don’t act smart. The only reason this coffin is open is because the shadowhunters need something from you.” Raphael insisted. “The second we deem you useless, you get chained right back up again.”

“It’s a warlock spellbook,” Izzy explained, “Ragnor Fell gave it to you.” 

Camille’s eyes lit up, and she started to sit up slowly. “It’s only taken him a hundred years to notice it was gone, he must be taking his vitamins.”

“We need it for my mother,” Clary raised her chin, “to help stop Valentine.”

“Valentine? My goodness, you really do need me.” Camille laughed, pushing her hair over her shoulder. “Well, we’ve got no time to lose, then. Step aside, Raphael, there’s a good boy.” 

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere,” Raphael chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re going to tell them where the damned book is or I’m going to let Isabelle here stake you through the heart. It would save us all a lot of time and energy.”

“Are you really going to let them kill me? I made you. I’m your sire.” Camille said to Simon, her eyebrows furrowed.

Simon put his hands on his hips. “You say sire, I say murderer. You can rot in hell, Camille. I bet you don’t even remember my name.” 

Camille pressed her lips together, and Clary clenched her jaw.

“You really don’t remember? You’re sick.” She spat. “Tell us where the book is!”

“What, so you can just put me back in this box?” Camille shook her head. “No. What you’re going to do is, you’re going to let me go and I’m going to lead you to the book. Otherwise no deal. If you kill me, you’ll never find it. I promise you that.”

Izzy bit her lip, considering their options. If they let Camille go, it would be difficult for the Clave to recapture her, but not impossible. They’d wake Jocelyn and save countless mundanes and downworlders from Valentine’s plans. If they left Camille here, they’d have to find a way to get to Valentine without Jocelyn, which would make everything a lot more difficult. Thousands of downworlders and dozens of mundanes could die. 

“We have to,” Izzy murmured, making eye contact with Clary. 

“You are not taking her.” Raphael warned them, his fangs dropping. 

“What choice do we have?” Simon asked miserably, “we need to wake Jocelyn. Alec will catch her. We know he will.”

“She’s too dangerous,” Raphael insisted, grasping the coffin and beginning to close it. 

Camille rolled her eyes, and moved as quick as a flash, diving at Raphael and ramming him into the wall behind him, his head knocking into the brick. He slumped to the floor as she let him go, unconscious. Straightening up, she flipped her long hair over her shoulder and flashed the others a smirk. “Let’s go.”

“Is he alright?!” Simon asked, his eyes wide. Camille grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards the door. 

“He’ll be fine,” Camille shrugged, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Clary and Izzy were following. “And I’ll need one more thing from you, my little caramel.” 

Simon blanched. “What?”

“I need a written agreement that you asked me to turn you,” she explained. “That way I can go free to start again, far far away, without the Clave yapping at my heels.”

“No way, that’s too far. Simon isn’t signing anything.” Clary growled, catching up to them. “You killed him, he isn’t giving you a damned thing.” 

“If you don’t, I’m not helping you find the book.” Camille warned. Simon swallowed hard, and nodded. 

“You don’t have to do that, Simon,” Izzy insisted, but Simon wrenched his hand out of Camille’s grasp, falling into step next to her. 

“Yes I do. Jocelyn’s like a Mom to me too, Iz. I’ll do anything to save her.” 

“Excellent!” Camille purred, “I know just the warlock to draw it up.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hadn’t taken too long for Luke’s pack to locate Hodge. They cornered him near the docks in just over an hour, keeping him pinned down, quite literally, until Alec was able to reach the scene. Hodge looked pale with terror, on his back underneath a shifted werewolf, and Alec felt a twist of satisfaction to look at it. 

“He doesn’t have the mortal cup. He must have already given it to Valentine. Maia, let him up.” Luke ordered as Alec neared them, and the beta wolf growled in Hodge’s face before reluctantly getting off him, padding over to stand next to Luke as Alec yanked Hodge to his feet.

“Thank the angel you’re here,” Hodge muttered breathlessly, gripping onto Alec’s jacket with wide eyes. “The Clave are trying to frame me, because of Raj-”

Alec punched him in the nose, flooring him in an instant. He didn’t even feel the anger, he just fell to his knees and rained down punches on Hodge’s face and chest, and it was only when Luke rushed forwards to grab him did he realise he was shouting, roaring in anger. As Luke pulled him up, the beta wolf, Maia, tilted her head to the side, and bared her teeth like she was smiling. 

“Alec, we need him. Get a hold of yourself.” Luke reminded him, though he patted Alec on the shoulder. 

Hodge didn’t move a muscle, totally unconscious, and Alec sniffed, wiping his hands on his trousers. 

“He got past me, Luke. Just ‘cause he said he was gay. And then he has the nerve-”

“I get it. I get it better than most.” Luke soothed, squeezing his arm. “Valentine was my parabatai, I understand betrayal and I understand the drive for revenge.. Just sit down for a minute. He’s not going anywhere.”

Alec nodded, lowering himself to the ground with shaky knees. “You’re right. You’re right.” He turned his face away from Hodge’s prone form, looking out over the water. 

“You stay here, alright? I’ll deal with this.” Luke promised, backing away from him, and Alec frowned.

“What are you talking about? I’m not going to just sit here while you take him back to the institute; they wouldn’t let you in, for starters.” 

He glanced over at Luke to see him dragging a barely conscious Hodge to his feet, slapping him a few times to wake him up. As Alec moved to get up to help, Maia and another wolf rounded on him, Maia putting a warning paw on his chest. 

“This is between me and Valentine, Alec. It’ll take too long to interrogate Hodge, I have to go after Valentine now before he creates a rogue army. We don’t have time. I’m sorry, Alec.” Luke said, pulling Hodge away. Alec growled under his breath, looking up into the faces of the two wolves holding him there.

“You’ll need backup!” Alec shouted, but Luke didn’t look back. He sighed and let Maia push him back down to sit. “You know, I could arrest the two of you for interfering with Clave business.” 

Maia huffed, and Alec pressed his lips together.

“I’m just saying I COULD.” 

The two wolves looked at each other for a moment, and then back at Alec.

“Can I at least use my phone?” 

Maia took her paw off Alec’s chest and sat next to him on the curb. Alec glanced at the other wolf, who looked a little more antsy, but who turned their head when Alec slowly pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Hey, Iz, where are you?” Alec asked as she answered the phone, crossing one ankle over the other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alec’s gonna meet us at Magnus’.” Izzy told the others, tucking her phone back into her pocket. “He’s got a couple of wolves tailing him. Luke took Hodge and went after Valentine himself.” 

“They have unfinished business,” Clary nodded, glad that Luke was in control of the situation. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Alec to do his job, but she knew Luke’s stake in this was more personal than anyone’s. He wouldn’t let Valentine go again, not this time. 

“Shadowhunter drama is exhausting,” Camille sighed. “Don’t you ever just take vacations?”

Clary, Izzy and Simon glared at her, and she shrugged. The door of Magnus’ loft opened before Simon could knock, Magnus standing in the hallway looking pensive.

“What do you want?” He asked, his uneasy eyes on Camille, who just smiled sweetly at him.

“Magnus, you look just as lovely as I remember. A little heavier, perhaps, but…”

“What do you want?” Magnus repeated, closing his robe a little tighter.

“She wants a contract saying Simon asked to be turned.” Izzy answered, giving Camille a little shove into Magnus’ loft. “She won’t give us the Book of the White without it.”

Camille and Magnus were looking at each other like they were having a silent conversation, and Simon felt uncomfortable just watching them. He was terrified of Camille and he’d only been on the receiving end of her manipulations for a couple of weeks. He couldn’t imagine how Magnus was feeling at that moment. Clary and Izzy sheathed their weapons, satisfied that Raphael hadn’t managed to follow them. 

“I’m going to go and wait for Alec outside, check the wolves aren’t giving him too much grief.” Izzy murmured, glancing at her phone.

“Simon, can I talk to you for a minute?” Clary tugged Simon out to the balcony, leaving Magnus and Camille alone.

“How long has it been, hmm? One hundred? One hundred and fifty years?” Camille asked, reaching up to run her fingers across Magnus’ cheek. He flinched away from it, and led her into the apothecary.

“One hundred and thirty eight,” Magnus answered, lifting his chin. “And oddly, I haven’t missed you at all.”

Camille glanced around the room, laughing lightly. “Of course you have, my love.”

“I thought I was done with you.” Magnus muttered, reaching for a piece of parchment. 

“We’ll never be done with each other, you and I.” Camille purred, perching on the desk next to him. 

“Oh, I put you in my past years ago. That is never going to change.” 

Camille leaned closer to him, giving him a whiff of that same perfume that she used to wear all those years ago. “Don’t be like that. We had so much fun together. Besides, it’s petty to hold grudges.”

“You may have had fun picking me apart piece by piece, but it’s not one of the highlights of that century for me, let’s just put it that way.” Magnus snapped, contorting his fingers over the parchment, making the contract appear on the sheet.

“You’ve always been sensitive.” Camille sighed, trailing her fingers down his arm, “that must have been why I left you, I can barely remember.”

Magnus hated himself for letting that sting, but he couldn’t help it. How could she not remember the show of strength, decades overdue, when he finally left her? When he finally packed his bags and told her that he was done? How could she have forgotten?

“Oh, yes. Now I recall.” Camille mused, shaking her head with a smile. “You were upset by my dalliance with that short-lived Russian. Always with the monogamy unless it was you in the middle, hmm?” 

“That’s not why I left and you know it.” Magnus replied coldly, his eyes on the parchment. “I feel nothing for you or for anything that happened between us. Gave that up over a century ago.” 

Camille smiled. “You see? I was right. Love is fleeting.”

“And yet true love cannot die,” Magnus shot back. He regretted it as soon as he let it escape his lips, and with a glance at Camille he knew that she had figured it out.

“Oh, my darling. Have you fooled yourself thinking you’ve fallen in love… Again?” 

Magnus clenched his jaw, finishing up the writ with a flick of his wrist. “That is none of your concern.” 

“True love may not die,” Camille smirked, “but people can.” 

“If only you’d do us all a favour and prove that yourself-”

“So touchy.” Camille cooed, stroking his chest. “So I’m right. Two hundred years later and you’re still as naive as the day I met you. It’s almost endearing. But we both know what lurks underneath this pretty shell, Magnus. What kind of darkness hides in your heart. You wouldn’t know what to do with a true lover if you found them.” 

Magnus pursed his lips, snatching up the writ from his desk. “You know nothing about me.”

“Oh… Oh, Magnus, my love.” Camille tutted. Her red manicured nails wrapped around his cravat. “I know everything about you. Including…” She sniffed the air delicately. “Oh, darling. You stupid, beautiful boy.” She laughed, grasping his chin with her free hand. “A shadowhunter. You’ve given your heart to a shadowhunter.”

“He’s everything that you are not.” Magnus snarled, his eyes gleaming amber.

Camille flashed him her teeth, and tugged him in for a kiss, the sharp edge of her fangs catching his lip and making him gasp. She hummed into it, and Magnus shoved her back, wiping at the swell of blood on his mouth. He felt a little sick at the satisfaction on her face, the hunger in her eyes at the taste of his blood, and he turned his face away from her to see Alec standing in the doorway.

For a moment, Magnus and Alec just stared at each other, Magnus’ heart going cold in his chest. Camille must have smelled Alec and Izzy coming, must have timed it just for this. Alec turned his attention to Camille and glared at her, rolling his eyes when she smiled sweetly at him.

“You certainly have a type, don’t you, darling? Brunette, tall… A little… Sassy. He’s cute.” She drawled, looking Alec up and down. “Too bad it won’t last.”

Izzy’s face was cold with anger, and Magnus shrank away from the Lightwood siblings, shame crawling through his veins. “Say that again,” she warned, her eyes intent on Camille, “and you won’t last.” 

Alec snorted, and walked past the vampire, going to Magnus’ side. “You alright?”

“She pounced on me, I didn’t-”

“I know, it’s okay. Exes can be a lot, huh?” He murmured, and Magnus smiled, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to soothe the sting lingering from Camille’s fangs. 

“A lot.” Magnus agreed, the tightness in his chest easing a little. “Now, Camille, we’ve fulfilled our end of the bargain. Where’s the Book of the White?” 

Simon and Clary wandered in, the two of them looking a little less depressed after checking in with each other. “Yeah, I’ll sign your stupid contract once you tell us where the book is.” 

Camille rolled her head on her neck, pulling a hairpin from her head and walking over to Simon. “Sign first, book later.” She pressed, and Simon looked to Alec for advice.

“Just do it, she’s not getting out of here with all five of us ready to kill her.” Alec shrugged, and Camille smirked at him over her shoulder, pricking Simon’s finger with the hairpin and making him yelp.

“Oh, that explains it. You’re a murderer. Magnus never liked virtue in his lovers.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Clary snapped.

Alec didn’t bother to grace her with a response. He knew her type, he’d been bullied throughout his time at the academy in Alicante. He’d been called a lot worse than a murderer. 

“Where do I sign?” Simon sighed, holding out his bleeding finger with a grimace on his face. Magnus took his shoulder and showed him, handing him a quill to make it easier. The moment Simon finished writing the ‘s’ of Lewis, Camille snatched it from the desk and rolled it up, tucking it into her dress. 

“Excellent.” She purred, cupping Simon’s chin. “Now we’re both free to live our lives without fear of the Clave.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Alec sing-songed, tangling his hands together behind his back. “I’m still the head of the institute, and if I get a whiff of you in New York after today I will send my entire staff after you.” 

Camille glanced at Magnus, who looked nervous, and tilted her head to the side. “Then I suppose we’d better hurry, hmm? The sun will be up in a couple of hours.” She looked at Clary, adjusting her dress. “The book is at my apartment in Manhattan.”

“I’ll drive,” Simon volunteered, and everyone looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. It took him a moment, but he smiled when he remembered, “portals exist.”

Magnus chuckled and turned towards the wall to cast them a portal. “Still the same place?” He guessed, not looking at Camille.

“Of course, darling. I’m a creature of habit.” 

Izzy scoffed, and put her hands on her hips. 

The room was tense and silent as Magnus finished creating the portal, everyone except Camille looking serious and withdrawn. They were so close to retrieving the Book of the White and waking up Jocelyn. Izzy and Clary went through the portal first to keep Camille from running away, followed by Camille and Simon, and finally Magnus and Alec. Alec reached out to grasp Magnus’ sleeve as they stepped through the magic gateway, and Magnus twisted his wrist to take his hand, squeezing his fingers gently. 

“I’m fairly sure it’s in the drawing room, but it could be in the library. It’s been a long time.” Camille sighed, gesturing at the walls of books around them. “Better get looking.” 

“Are you kidding me?! You don’t even know where it is?” Izzy demanded, shaking her head. “This is not a fair deal!”

Clary was walking towards Camille to give her a good punch again when her phone rang, her heart leaping into her throat as she saw Luke’s name flashing on the screen. “Luke? Did you get him?” 

“No, there were too many of them. Still got Hodge, though.” Luke panted, “He’s heading for you, kid, you have to get out of there. He knows you’re trying to wake Jocelyn.”

“We can’t leave, we have to find the book.” Clary insisted. “We have to wake up Mom.”

“Clary-” 

Clary hung up the phone, and turned to the others. “We haven’t got time to deal with Camille, we have to find that book now. Valentine’s on his way.”

“We’ll check the library, there’s more books there.” Magnus suggested, gesturing with his head for Alec and Simon to follow him. He was sort of familiar with Camille’s library; it hadn’t changed much since he was last here, and he’d spent a lot of time reading in here while Camille had her way with whatever mundane she’d picked to cheat on Magnus with that week.

“What does the book look like?” Alec asked. His head was tilted back a little to look up at all the shelves.

“It’s white and gold,” Magnus told them, striding over to the sliding ladder to start checking the higher shelves. “On its spine is the word ‘album’.”

“Album?” Simon repeated, “what, does it have photos in it?”

“Album means white,” Alec explained before Magnus could open his mouth. “Why is a warlock book bound in the shadowhunter colours?”

Magnus pressed his lips together, scanning the shelf in front of him, “Because originally it was meant to be a reference for shadowhunters. But Ragnor’s mother, or adopted mother, decided against granting the shadowhunters access to the spells and potions in there. The shadowhunters were too big a threat back then; the angel blood in them wasn’t as diluted and they had access to a touch of magic.” 

Alec hummed, his fingers running along each shelf in turn. “I heard that. About our ancestors having magic. I don’t blame the warlocks for wanting to keep their secrets. Shadowhunters back then were savages.”

“Like Valentine?” Simon pressed tentatively, and Alec nodded.

“The only thing that kept them from totally wiping out downworlders was the fact that they enjoyed hunting them for sport.” Alec said quietly, his eyes darting up towards Magnus. “They were animals.”

“Seems Ragnor did his job of teaching this generation the truth of their lineage,” Magnus mused, his tone light to break the macabre tension in the room. “Any luck down there?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Magnus said before that the book is white and gold.” Clary explained, “most of these books are brown or black, so it should be easy.” 

Izzy nodded and went to the opposite side of the room. Camille had scarpered the moment Magnus left the room, and neither Izzy or Clary made a move to stop her. They’d get her another time. “What’s the plan for when Valentine shows up?” 

“No idea,” Clary admitted, “but we can’t let him get this book.”

“Alright,” Izzy chuckled, shaking her head as her eyes swept along the shelves closest to the door, “I guess that’s worked for us up until now.” 

“I got it!” Clary yelped, plucking the Book of the White off the wall. “This is it! Look, it has the Latin for white on the side, this must be it!”

Izzy turned to cross the room to see, but ran into a solid chest. With a glance up, she saw it was Valentine, but before she could flick out her whip, his seraph dagger was pressed to her throat. One of his new shadowhunters grabbed Clary, and to Izzy’s dismay, Alec, Magnus and Simon were marched in too, all held like her with blades to their necks.

“Well done, Clarissa. You came so close.” Valentine sneered, yanking Izzy around to face Clary by her hair. “You’ve done well. Assembled a little army, figured out the problems that arose. You did lose one soldier,” Valentine smirked at Magnus, who clenched his jaw, “and of course, you let a dangerous vampire run free, but… You are promising.”

“What do you want, Valentine?” Clary spat, meeting Magnus’ eyes, who tilted his head just a little, as if to say ‘keep him talking.’

Valentine pulled Izzy along with him as he walked over to Clary. “That’s very simple. I want you by my side, helping me lead our army. It is your birthright, after all.”

“She’s not interested!” Simon insisted, making Valentine turn to look at him, Izzy hissing in pain as the dagger dug into her skin. 

“Oh, yes, I forgot about you. You really should have kept a better eye on your little mundane friend, Clarissa. Letting him get turned into a filthy vampire. Should’ve let him die, he would have been better off.” Valentine mused. “Ah, well, there’s always a chance to right our wrongs.” He nodded at the shadowhunter who was holding Simon. “Kill him.”

The shadowhunter holding Magnus, next to Simon, collapsed to the ground, and Magnus burst free from his arms, sending a shockwave from his body and knocking everyone in the room to the ground. Alec had his seraph blade out before he even hit the floor, and lunged back up to his feet before the shadowhunter that had been holding him, cutting his achilles tendon and incapacitating him. The shadowhunter that had been holding Simon was quicker than his friend, and bore down on Simon. Alec only just reached him in time to block his killing blow, and the two of them started exchanging swings of a sword, Alec putting his back to Simon to protect him. 

“Simon, run to the institute and bring backup,” Alec ordered, glancing over at the others between blows.

Izzy was trying to get Valentine’s blade from his hand, but he had years of experience on her. Clary was standing over a dead shadowhunter looking shell-shocked, and Magnus was on his hands and knees, gasping for breath. Izzy cried out, and Alec’s stomach lurched to see Valentine grab her, abandoning his fight with the shadowhunter to run towards them.

“Wake your mother, Clarissa. Soon we’ll all be together again,” Valentine smiled, smashing a portal stone into the ground and dragging Izzy with him. 

“No!” Alec screamed, sprinting for the portal, but Magnus caught his ankle and sent him flying. “Magnus, let me go!”

“If you go through that portal,” Magnus panted, squeezing his eyes shut as it closed, “you’ll be lost. You don’t know where it was coming out, you’d have been stuck in limbo.”

Clary screamed in rage as the last shadowhunter, the one that had been fighting Alec, went for Magnus, and stabbed him through the stomach. The moment he hit the ground, Clary dropped her seraph blade, hands shaking. Magnus heaved himself up off the ground, and pulled her into a hug.

“It’s alright, Biscuit,” he told her, “you had to.”

Clary stared at Alec over his shoulder, and Alec stared back, both pairs of eyes empty and lost.

Izzy was gone.

Alec got up silently, stepping past Magnus’ offer of a hug and walking over to the shadowhunter he’d incapacitated, dragging him to his feet. “Where did they go?” He demanded, but the shadowhunter said nothing, opening his mouth in a bloody grin. His tongue fell out and onto the floor, and Alec dropped him, recoiling. He’d bitten out his own tongue. He looked over at Magnus, who looked grim but unsurprised. 

“We’ll find her, Alexander. I promise.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke was waiting for them back at the institute, his clothes torn and blood-spattered. “Werewolf healing, I’m fine,” he assured Clary as she checked him over for signs of injury, “Hodge is in custody.” 

Alec walked right past the two of them once he’d handed the mute shadowhunter over to Raj, going up to Lydia. “Have you sent a team to the docks?” 

“Yes. We think that Valentine has access to a cargo vessel. He’s gone over water to avoid our tracking.” She explained. “I’m so sorry, Alec.” 

“Izzy’s fine,” he replied, “she’s unharmed, she’s just trapped. If he planned to kill her he would have done it already.” Alec was trying to convince himself more than anyone else, forcing himself to think rationally so the panic clawing up his throat wouldn’t overwhelm him. Magnus came up behind him, and took his elbow gently.

“You need to get out of your binder, Alexander,” he reminded him, and Alec nodded, letting Magnus lead him to his room. Magnus hesitated in the door when they got there, but Alec pulled him inside. 

“Stay?” Alec asked, “just for a while?” 

“Of course.” Magnus answered, “do you want me to turn around while you-”

Alec pulled his shirt over his head, quirking his eyebrow at Magnus. “Do you want to turn around?” 

“I…” Magnus’ mouth open and closed a few times. “Alec, I…” 

“How about I turn around?” Alec suggested, sucking his lower lip into his mouth before turning his back to Magnus and peeling off his binder, his toned muscles bunching and relaxing as he lifted his arms. Magnus swallowed hard as Alec reached for his sports bra. “You doing okay back there?”

“I’m great.” Magnus insisted, wringing his hands together as Alec wriggled into his clothes. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry that you had to see me kiss Camille. I didn’t want to.”

Alec turned back around, settling his shirt back over his hips. “Anyone with eyes could see that you didn’t want it. It’s fine. She seems… Well, I don’t like to use the word insane, but…”

“Something is definitely off in that twisted little brain,” Magnus agreed. 

“She was right about one thing, though. This won’t last. At least, not for you.” Alec sighed, walking over to his dresser and picking up the framed picture of he and Izzy that sat there. He looked at it hard for a moment. “My whole life will go by in a flash for you. What’ll happen when-”

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly, putting his hand on Alec’s waist. “I may be the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but even I can’t tell the future. We’ve only just met. Who knows what’s going to happen between us in the weeks and months to come, hmm?” He stroked Alec’s back soothingly. “Besides, right now we need to focus on Izzy.”

“I don’t know where to start,” Alec confessed, putting the picture down. “I have no idea what to do. It feels like I’m staring at a brick wall.” 

“Well, we can start by waking Jocelyn. She might have a better idea about what Valentine’s plans are than we do. And now he’s made himself an army of shadowhunters…”

“There’s no telling what his endgame is,” Alec finished. Magnus was right. Jocelyn could provide insight into what Valentine was up to, and if they could just get ahead of him, there was a chance of them getting Izzy back. No doubt Izzy was doing her best to escape too; Alec had faith, deep down, that she was strong enough to come through this. Still, Alec hated the thought of her all alone, surrounded by Valentine and his army of new shadowhunters. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clary sat in the infirmary with her mother and Luke, staring at Jocelyn’s sleeping face. Her mind was totally blank, as blank as the look on her face, as she saw the lifeless bodies of the shadowhunters she’d killed, over and over again. There was an awareness in her that she should feel something. But she just… Didn’t. 

“What happened back there, Clary?” Luke asked softly, touching her shoulder. “Come on, kid, talk to me. I’m here.” 

“I’m alright,” Clary answered, tearing her eyes from Jocelyn’s face to look up at him. “We just have to wake up Mom so we can get Izzy back.” 

Saying her name hurt, and Clary was somewhat relieved to know she could still feel something. 

She should have been quicker; if she hadn’t been so absorbed in that dead shadowhunter, she could have helped. She could have stopped Valentine from grabbing Izzy. Maybe Valentine would have been just another dead body slumped at her feet. Maybe Izzy would be sitting there next to her, squeezing her hand. But she’d hesitated, and now Izzy was gone. 

“Biscuit?”

Clary looked up at the sound of Magnus’ voice, but she couldn’t quite summon a smile. “We’re ready,” she told him, giving he and Alec space beside Jocelyn’s body. 

Magnus nodded and opened the book, flicking through the pages deftly. He swept his hand over Jocelyn’s body, and frowned when his magic fizzled. “Must still be a little low from the fight,” he muttered, glancing at Alec. “I don’t suppose you could…”

Alec offered him his hand, but Magnus tilted his head a little, a small smile on his face. “What?”

“A kiss would be more efficient.” Magnus told him, and Alec snorted through a reluctant smile, leaning in to press his lips to Magnus’. 

“When did this happen?” Luke muttered to Clary, who smiled weakly at him. 

Magnus hummed into the kiss, feeling Alec’s energy fizzle through his veins, and pulled away. “Thank you, Alexander.” 

“You are very welcome,” Alec murmured, eyes warm. 

“Luke, put your arms under her ready to catch, or she’ll fall.” Magnus instructed, waving his hand over Jocelyn once more and nodding when it took, the blue-silver magic crackling in the air. He said the incantation, his magic rumbling and sinking into Jocelyn’s skin in thunderous bursts, and after the third burst, the green energy surrounding her dissipated, and she tumbled gently into Luke’s arms. 

“Mom?” Clary stepped forward, and Magnus tugged Alec back to give the family of three a little space.

Jocelyn’s eyes fluttered open, and she smiled to see Luke holding her. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Luke’s eyes filled with relieved tears, and he lifted her slightly, cradling her close to his chest. She kissed his cheek gently, resting her forehead on his temple.

“Mom?” Clary repeated as Luke let Jocelyn down. As Jocelyn turned to look, Clary fell into her arms, burying her face in her mother’s shoulder. “You’re alright.”

“And so are you,” Jocelyn sighed, clutching her close. “Oh, Clary, I am so…” She noticed the runes on Clary’s arms, and pulled back. “You’re…”

“A shadowhunter. Yeah.” Clary nodded, squeezing her hands.

“A pretty good one, too.” Alec supplied.

Jocelyn looked between Alec and Clary, and then to Magnus and Luke. “How long was I asleep?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izzy was thrown careening onto the deck the moment that the portal closed behind them, barely catching herself. She turned over to see Valentine standing over her, three shadowhunters jogging over to them. Not one of them was familiar to Izzy, and her heart sank. Valentine really had created an army.

“Take her to the cells.” Valentine ordered, smirking at Izzy as she was dragged to her feet. “You’re lucky that you look like your mother, Miss Lightwood.” 

Izzy spat in his face. “Traitor.”

“You’ve got her fire as well,” Valentine chuckled, wiping his face. “How nice. Take her away.” 

“You don’t have to listen to him,” Izzy insisted, digging in her heels as the three shadowhunters pulled her below deck, “he’s not what you think!” 

Valentine turned to watch the sunrise, leaning on the railing in front of him. “A new day begins,” he muttered, raising his chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and stories about how Fighting the Good Fight has affected you, they mean so much to me. Unfortunately I've also been receiving hateful messages too - some people just can't handle the concept of trans stories being lovingly told! As we all know, AO3 is useless when it comes to dealing with harassment by anonymous users, so I've had to disable anon comments for now. I just don't need that negative energy in my life!


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